BACK
Helping Your Child Heal If your child tells you about an abusive experience, remain calm and let him know that you believe him. Your reaction can either help him begin to recover or further traumatize him. Here are some tips: Listen carefully and calmly, no matter how upset you are. You'll need to remember what your child tells you, so pay attention. And let your child know that he's being heard. Assure your child that you're glad that he told you of the abuse, that it was in no way his fault, and that you will make sure it doesn't happen again. Encourage him to tell you everything, but avoid asking too many specific questions. Specific questions may mislead or confuse your child, or they may be asked in a way that prompts a particular answer. Later, this may seriously affect the ability of investigators to find out exactly what did or did not happen. If investigators can't determine that abuse has occurred, they can't protect your child. Don't say anything bad about the perpetrator. He or she may be someone the child truly cares for. If you make threats, your child may feel the need to protect the person and not be as forthcoming with details. If you think that your child wants to say more but is afraid, encourage him to tell his story to a favorite stuffed animal or doll while you listen. Or provide a tape recorder or telephone for the child to talk into. It may be easier for the child to talk to an inanimate object than to you or another person. Your child will need medical care if he has been sexually molested or physically injured. Even if signs of abuse are not evident, it's best to err on the side of caution and take him to the doctor anyway. Above all, keep your child in safe environments and assume the allegation is true until proven otherwise.
