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On August 11, 1984 a mistake came into the world....the mistake was me....Ms. Paige Fender! As I grew through my years, one of my first memories is of me jumping off the high dive at the age of 3. I also remember kindergarten very well. In fact here is a little story about that wondrous year. My dearest best friend Erica was not put in my class which made me a little sad but I got back in the game and did my best to reach my 1st goal in life of "being cool." During the first week of school it is imperative to bring in some extra clothes packed in a shoe box. Now when we were packing my clothes my mom packed me a pair of pale yellow bell bottoms that I absolutely hated and as I looked into the fiber of the pale, hated pants I yelled to my mommy "I can't wear those!" and my mommy responded with "Well are you going to pee your pants?" and I shouted defensively "NO!" So I went on through my beloved year and keeping with my goal of extreme coolness I decided to put my nap mat where the cool girls slept. So during nap time each and everyday I would run with my purple clown mat to the "play kitchen area" in the kindergarten room (because it was the only part that was carpeted in the room), but each and everyday I would be too late or I would be kicked out. So I would try to get as close to them as I could and behind the book case was just that place. The spot was just close enough to hear their giggles which certainly made me happy. Now one fateful day as I lay behind the bookcase doing my best to hear the latest kindergarten gossip I felt an urge to pee. So being the good student I was, I raised my hand quietly waiting for the teacher to call on me. But in my stupidity I didn't realize that my hand could not be seen by the teacher, who was on the other side of the bookcase. So I waited and waited, and then to my surprise my nice jean dress was soaked. My bladder could no longer be in control and embarrassment took over. As I walked to the teachers desk crying, she comforted me and then handed me the awful dreaded shoebox that’s contents I so hated. So that day after I put on those pale yellow pants a love grew between the two of us. And from that day on I wore those pants many days of the week because they saved me and I loved them for it. Now that was one goal of my life that was replaced with a scar. So my next goal in life was to be class clown, although it involved embarrassment, this embarrassment came purposely (so it wasn't as bad). Now this goal of mine was easily reached through tripping myself, asking dumb questions, and making witty comments. And in all this chaos I reached my first goal of "being cool." But the coolness you get from being class clown is full of pressure because you are in constant demand of something funny, but this was what I loved. Now during all these confusing years of Elementary school the most important decision I ever made...was made. That decision was to accept Christ into my heart. I was eight years old at the time and I walked to the front of my church and prayed a prayer for Jesus to forgive me of all my sins and be Lord of my life. And not too much later I was baptized along side my best friend, Erica. Now Erica has been my best friend now for 13 years, we share so many memories together. She is the coolest girl you'll ever meet and you can learn more about her on the Erica page. Now I must tell a little about the great and sad parting. In second grade I had a mild case of dyslexia, and I was held back a year. That’s right! Erica and I were separated. And because I felt embarrassed and stupid I decided Erica didn't have to know I was held back. I thought if she knew it, it would end our friendship because Erica wouldn't want to be friends with one of the learning disabled kids. So I decided she would just think I had another teacher and a different lunch. Little did I know that Erica's mom had already told her. And my mom told Erica’s mom who told Erica that I had been crying because I was afraid I would loose Erica as a friend. So one night at my house Erica came over and gave me a “Friends Forever” magnet that made me so happy, because I knew we would truly be friends forever. And though our different grades brought us apart Jesus Christ and our church kept us together. Now in keeping with my earlier theme of life’s goals...I think my next goal in life was to get a boyfriend, now this goal was set because Erica set this goal (She wrote it out on a piece of paper along with other goals for her middle school year hehe!) and she was and is a big part of my decision making. Now I was in the 5th grade at the time and she was in the middle school so I set this goal for my 6th grade year and continued to “hate” boys in my elementary years. Erica went on to the 6th grade and reached her goal…his name was Jacob I believe. Anyways I went along through my 6th grade year…no boyfriend. Another goal replaced with a scar. But that was O.K. with me and I reached that goal the next year (it wasn’t as cool as I thought it would be I had to break up with him because he was trying to flick a girl in the boob). Anyways Middle School was fun and I enjoyed it greatly. Other goals during those years included becoming class president and being the fastest runner and arm wrestling champion. But as I moved on to high school I learned a lot, during a shaky 9th grade year when I began to slip in my relationship with God I saw my friends, and the good kids turning completely to sin. It hurt to see all of that happening and watch them crying in the halls and being upset and angry over guys and parents. Knowing I didn’t want what they had I decided then that God is the only way to go. The reason it hurt so bad seeing them upset was because I knew a greater joy, I knew that God was there to comfort them if they would just turn to him. It hurt me to watch people turn from God and think that their sinful lives were the “good life.” But I knew different and began to grow in my walk with God. I began to be more vocal about my Christianity and I tried more earnestly to share the Gospel. Doing a devotion every night was my most influential step. It was amazing how much God answered and still does answer my prayers. The things I learn from my quiet time with God are amazing and life changing. I continue to grow each and everyday and I feel that if I don’t continue to grow I will just wither, and I don’t want that to happen. So in my life of decisions I can only think of one that was essential to my life and that was accepting Christ, and after that decision the rest are made by God as long as I listen for the answer. So now my goal in life is to share with as many people as possible the love of Christ. I want whatever God wants for me and I’m just waiting and listening for His plans. |
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