17
some glory in their birth, some in their skill,
some in theur wealth, some in their body's force
some in their garments though new-fangled ill;
some in their hawks and airhounds, some in their horse.
and every humour hath his adjunct pleasure,
wherein it finds a joy baove the rest.
but these particulars are not my own measure
all these i better in one general best,
thy love is better than high birth to me,
richer than wealth, prouder than garments costs
of more delight than hawks and horses be:
and having thee, of all men's pride i boast.
wretched in this alone, that thou mayst take,
all this away, and me most wretched make.
my feelings for thee is a secret no more. and yet whenever i reminisce and meditate on the situation. i was tempted to resign and accept the possibility that there never really was a chance to be us. may actions and tongues are futile that i bleed trying to decipher the messages embedded in thy silence. i know true love hears any whisper and feels emotional whimper but believe me, your timidity is a killer.
there were times when false self-respecr comes into mood but as experience teaches us, it is better to swallow pride for someone we love than to carry a loss because of foolish pride. so what if i love someone whose love was never mine? pop quiz hot shot, can thou tell me who that someone is? on times like these, thy voice remains to be the only remedy. ang kaso and tipid mo magsalita.
there are many things i can't say no to thee for fear of thee not taking me seriously or getting no responce at all. tatawanan lang. no wonder i just talk in jokes and write in poems if it pleases thee. pero one thing's for certain, Thou hath a very special place in my heart. did ma lady know what started it all? it i sthe dance! your debut party caught me giving flower for the first time.
the first time that i really mean and feel like giving one. its one of the sweetest days of my life. i hope we can have a dance again sometime. alam mo ba, i also miss those times when i can trip you and watch the expression of your face when you realize it is i who did it. i really love those memories. not to mention the way you tease back. i think you can match my "kakulitan" kasi 'eh. i also miss your giggles, sometimes grin kapag napapahiya ako.
it is a shame i already graduated before i come to realize all these feelings for you. kaasar talga. why oh why is this happening to me? i never proved that you are really the one i was looking for, 'til the day i found you in someone else's arms. you never really heard me tease you two don't you. or if you did, it must have been the hypocrisy Maan is telling me about.
i guess we have to focus, open our hearts and hear them beat. for a near lost opportunity will really open our minds to the things we are looking and hoping for. a miss would make us suffer thinking "what if" for the rest of our life. funny how i see it, pero to tell you the truth, i'm glad to have known all this feeling though it i slate and maybe senseless. im not a woman hater after all.
take care.
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