Zachary's Story

In Loving Memory of
Zachary Shane Corp
Born to Heaven on January 8, 2005

Grieving Time

Hearts have a need of grieving time,
even though caring friends offer
their sympathy.......

Their love helps, but fails to reach;
Grief that is locked inside of us.

Because you weep with tears of missing,
does not mean all hope is gone.

Your heart must have a grieving time,
Let it break with pain it has known,
Even when shadows are the darkest.....

To walk by your side is he....and with
his words of comfort- he will unlock
your heart, to which he alone holds the key.

He will always hold you, comfort you
and be with you during your most need,
with faith you never walk alone.
Written by Gary Taylor, Zachary's mommy's cousin

Our story for Zachary Shane

My name is Regina. Me and my husband Tom just lost our precious little boy Zachary Shane Corp on January 8th, 2005 due to Potters Syndrome. He was our third son. We have two other boys, Lawrence Jay Corp III who will be 5 on May 23rd and Thomas Lee Corp II who will be 2 on May 5th.

Now I will tell our story:
Well, in July of 2004 when I was supposed to start my period all I did was spotted a little. so I knew something was going on since that is what I did when I found out I was pregnant with our other sons. I also knew something was up because my periods were always normal and on schedule. So we did the home pregnancy test and it showed I was pregnant right away (It didn't take but a minute or less to show up on the test). We were very happy that it was positive, since we really wanted another child to raise, love, and care for. Also so our sons would have another Brother or Sister to grow up with.

We wanted to make sure the test was true, so I went to the health department on July 9th, 2004 and had another test done. Of course the test they did came back positive also. So they gave me vitamins to take until I got to the doctor and got my prescription. So then I started my doctor visits, everything was going great with all of my checkups. Until the 17th of November 2004, when we had an appointment for 1:45 p.m. We got there a little early and waited to be seen. They called us back to the room to wait on the doctor. So we waited for a while, then the nurse came in and said he was called to the hospital for an emergency with one of his patients. So she asked if we could come back in about an hour. We said yes that is fine we will be back in an hour. We went to the store and shopped around a little until time to go back to the doctor's office. When we got back to the doctor's office, they called us back right away. We sat in the room for a few minutes waiting on the doctor to come in. Within a few minutes he came in, and we talked for a minute or so. We gave him a tape to record the ultrasound, because we were suppose to find out if we were having a boy or girl that day. So he started doing the ultrasound and keep looking around to see if he could see the sex of the baby, but the baby wouldn't turn the right way for us to see. So then he continued to check everything else and that is when he noticed there was not as much fluid as he would like there to be. We asked him what we needed to do or if this was serious. He said he didn't know for sure, but that he was going to schedule a Level II Ultrasound for us to go to since those specialist have better machines and equipment to look at the water level and everything else with the baby. But we were leaving on vacation the next day (11-18-04) to go to Buffalo, NY, and visit my husbands family for a couple of weeks. We asked the doctor if it was ok to go still and he said that it would be fine not to change any of our plans. But said to call him when we got back home from vacation and he would have us an appointment set up to go get the Level II Ultrasound done. So we got back from vacation the Saturday after Thanksgiving (11-27-2004). That next Monday I called the doctor and told him we were back home. He already had us an appointment scheduled for that next week.

On December 7th 2004, we went to the specialist for the Level II Ultrasound. We waited in the waiting room for a little while then when we were called back, we went and talked with a Genetics Counselor first about the possibilities of what could happen or could be wrong with me having low fluid. She said this didn't mean that something was wrong but in case there was something wrong we knew the possibilities ahead of time. Then they took us into the ultrasound room. The ultrasound specialist came in to do the ultrasound. We also gave him a tape to record this ultrasound in case he could tell us whether we were having a boy or a girl. He started doing the ultrasound looking at the baby, the fluid, and all the baby's body parts. While he was doing the ultrasound they had it to where it showed the baby on the TV screen. So we could see what he was looking at and measuring. When he was done with the ultrasound we asked him if he could tell us the sex of the baby and he said he couldn't see anything either with the way the baby was laying. Then we asked him if he could tell us if anything was wrong. He said he couldn't say that the doctor would have to look at all the pictures and measurements he took of the baby and come in and talk to us about everything. So when the doctor came in the room, he had the counselor that we talked to with him, so we thought that was kind of strange until he told us that it was bad. He asked us if we knew why we were sent here and we told him all we knew was that there was not as much fluid as there should be. Then again he said well this is bad, really bad. So we asked him what he meant. And that is when he told us that there was no fluid at all around the baby and also that the baby had no bladder or kidneys at all. Then he told us that we could end the pregnancy now and pay three to four thousand dollars or, with there being no chance of him surviving, that he would either pass inside me or I would have him naturally and then he would only live for a little while and then pass. So as soon as we heard all this
we both started crying nonstop.

They asked if we wanted some time to ourselves, so we said, yes please, and they left us in the room alone for a little while. We just held each other as close and as tight as we could crying the whole time while I rubbed my stomach feeling the baby move around and while staring at the TV screen that still had the picture of our baby on it. All I could remember was saying over and over I want my baby while crying nonstop. Then shortly they came back in the room and talked with us a little to try and help us calm down some, but how could we when we just found out our baby was not going to make it. So then we went back in the other room and talked with the counselor some more. She gave us her card and some information about grieving the loss of a child and some information about support groups local and online. So we left there knowing what we knew now. We had to carry all this around in our heads knowing what was going to happen to our precious baby, which was really hard to do. And we got this information right after Thanksgiving and right before Christmas, which did not help at all. We had also just found out that my cousin's husband died right before we got back from vacation. He drowned in the pond beside the house he was living in when he jumped in to try and save someone he knew who had wrecked their car and drove into the pond. So we just took it day by day knowing what was eventually gonna happen to us.

And I cherished and cried everytime I felt the baby moving around and hearing the heartbeat when I would go to the docters office for checkups still. Then on January the 7th of 2005, my husband got home from work, and I told him I had been hurting and that if it didn't stop I was going to go to the hospital. So I finally called my doctor to find out what I should do and his nurses told me to try and lay down and see if it stopped hurting and if it didn't stop, to go ahead and go to the hospital. So I tryed this, but it was not working, so we got a babysitter and we went to the hospital. We did not call our family or friends right away because we thought I would get checked and everything would be fine. But when we got there and got up to the room so they could monitor me and check everything out, that is when the nurse came in and got me ready and had me get in the bed and she hooked up the monitors and had the baby's heartbeat where we could hear it. Then when we told her what was going on with the baby she immediately turned the sound off and apologized for not knowing. We told her it was fine that we got to at least hear our baby's heartbeat once more and that we thought she knew what was going on with the baby. Then that is when they checked me and told us I was dilated to six already. So they called my doctor
and had him come up to the hospital.

When my doctor got there, he said they were just going to keep me there since I was having contractions and that if the contractions started to make me dilate more or if the contractions started getting worse that I was not going home. So they did get worse and needless to say I did not go home that night. So we immediately started calling our family and friends to let them know what was going on. Then around 3 a.m. on the 8th of January, I started delivering our baby boy and at 3:09 a.m. we delivered our little son Zachary Shane Corp (we did not know the sex until I delivered him). He weighed 3 lbs. and 2 ounces and was 13 inches long and as beautiful as could be. He was with us until about 3:50 a.m. when he passed in my arms.

We did keep him in the room with us until the next afternoon, so we could have our time together with our precious little boy. And so our family and friends could see him also. Of course we held him and kissed and hugged on him the whole time we had him with us, we also talked to him and told him how much we all loved him and that we always would cherish and remember him and how he touched our hearts and souls forever. We also took pictures and video of everything that went on starting with the delivery and the birth of our precious son. Then we got pictures and video of everyone with our son and also had some family take pictures of us together as a family with Zachary (me, Tom, and Zachary's brothers with Zachary).

And we took a few pictures of just Zachary and me and my husband together, and also of just me and Zachary, and me and Zachary and his brothers. Then it came time for us to let go and let the funeral home do what they had to do, of course we did not want to let go of him at all, but we had no choice we knew we had to eventually. But we did get to have our time and take pictures and get video of everything that went on. So I am very glad that we did get all that. So now we have the pictures and video of our precious little boy. The hospital also took a hospital picture of Zachary for us and had a few ordered for us at no charge. They also gave us hats with his footprints on them and also two keepsake boxes (which are very cute). One for the outfit they had him in that some of the volunteers made and one for the hospital bracelets we both had and other little things from the hospital.

So we finally left the hospital on January the 9th, we went home and dropped off a few things and then we had to go straight to the funeral home to make all the arrangements for the announcement for the paper and also the arrangements for the visitation and services. After doing that we went to the cemetery to talk to someone about a spot in Babyland to lay Zachary to rest at. So we made all the arrangements with the guy at the cemetery for the tent and chairs for the services there. Then he took us out to the Babyland area in the cemetery and showed us the spot where Zachary Shane would be laid to rest. We then went and got our other sons from their grandparent's house and went home to get some other things done
and TRY to get some rest.

And now I will tell you about the visitation and funeral services.
On January the 10th we had the visitation at the funeral home which started around 6 p.m. and lasted until 8 p.m. But the funeral director told us we could get there early before everyone else. So we did get there early and had some time to ourselves with Zachary while we put up pictures we had from the hospital and some other pictures of us and our friends and family and of our other two sons, plus mine and my husband's wedding picture. Then shortly after doing that everyone started showing up to visit with us and see our precious little baby boy Zachary Shane Corp. And while everyone was showing up and visiting with us and our family we had a Sunday School song CD playing that had kids singing all the songs. Which we thought was very cute and appropriate for this moment. We were at first going to have his casket closed for the visitation and the services, but we changed our minds and decided to have it open so we could all see him again and let him touch the lives of everyone else.

Then when everyone else was gone from the funeral home, they let us stay in there with Zachary by ourselves to take pictures and video and whatever else we needed to do before leaving for the night. So we had my parents stay and watch our other two boys while we stayed in there for a little while crying and holding each other and taking pictures of him in his casket and with us next to him touching and kissing him and telling him again how much we loved and missed him and how much he means to us and that we will always love and cherish and remember him forever and always and how he touched our hearts and souls forever. We also took pictures of all the flowers and plants people sent to us and the casket piece we got for him with the white and gold angel bear on the top that played music and that had his name and birth date spelled out on the ribbon hanging from the front of the flowers (which were blue and white).

So after doing all this, we asked my parents if they would watch the kids while we went out for a little while to clear our heads and to have some time just the two of us together. So they watched the kids all night while we went out to a nice restaurant and had dinner together. I carried a little teddy bear with me that my mom had put on the flowers she got us, which matched the teddy bear we had put on his casket piece.
I carried it around with me for a few days where ever we went.

We came back home after dinner and laid together and went to sleep (eventually, after crying). Then that next morning we had to get up early and get ready for the funeral services which began at 1:00 p.m. So we hurried up and got ready and made sure we had everything we needed and headed over to the funeral home. My parents still had our other boys with them, so they just brought them with them
to the funeral home.

Now about the funeral services:
So on the morning of January 11th 2005, we arrived at the funeral home early so we could talk with the funeral director and make sure everything was the way we wanted it to be. After doing so we went into the chapel to sit and wait for the services to begin. Then everyone started showing up and talking with us and showed their sympathy and concern for us for what we were going through. Then it was close to time to start the services, so everyone had a seat and we had my sister's friend, (and ours as well) Stacy,
set up the video camera and start getting ready to record the services for us.

So then it was time to start the services:
The services began around 1:00 p.m. on January 11, 2005. Once everyone was seated they began to play the first song we had chosen, which was Amazing Grace (with little kids singing). Then the preacher Brother Mike Overton (who is the preacher at the church my parents go to), got up and started the services by first reading Zachary's obituary and saying a few words to us and our family. We then bowed our heads in prayer. When the prayer ended they played the second song we wanted to be played which was Jesus Loves Me (with little kids singing). Then when the song ended, my Uncle Don McCutcheon got up and told us how much he was honored that we had asked him to be here for us and to read the poem for Zachary that my husband Tom had wrote for our precious little boy
and also to be able to say a few words...

~For Zachary~

Zachary, as soon as you came into our lives
You filled our hearts with joy,
You were a special gift from GOD
A precious little boy.

The moment you were born
Our tears began to flow
We were holding onto an angel
The world will never know.

God has his reasons for taking you
Although we may never understand
You are in heaven with him now
Which is the way he had planned.

The thoughts of you will always be cherished
You changed our lives forever
And we cannot wait to get to heaven
So we can again be together......Forever!!!!
In Memory of Zachary Shane 1/08/05
Written by his Daddy

And then Uncle Don talked about how he remembered being with us at a happier time (when he married us on April 17, 1998). He then continued to say a few more comforting words to us and our family. He then opened his bible and read a few verses about David. After reading the verses he began to explain the meaning of Zachary Shane's name, which is Zachary -- meaning Remembered By God -- and Shane -- meaning God Is Gracious. Then he said Zachary's Daddy has written a poem for him and they asked if I could share it with you all. So he read the poem my husband Tom wrote for our Zachary Shane.

Uncle Don also shared another poem my Uncle Doug McCutcheon wrote called Heavenly Place. After the poem they began to play our third and final song for the chapel services which was Jesus Loves the Little Children (sung by little kids). When the song ended the preacher Brother Mike Overton got back up and talked to us about trusting in God to be there and to help us through all of this and also to always cherish the two sons we have here on earth with us. And to keep our family close and to be there for each other. Then he told us a story about a little boy who had seen his neighbor crying one day. And the little boy said he was going to go and help his neighbor. So the little boy went over to his neighbor and sat with him and just cried along with the neighbor. Then the boys mom asked him what he did to help his neighbor and the boy said all I did was sit with him and cry too. The preacher then continued on by saying some more comforting words and reading some verses from Psalms 21 and 2. And also some verses from Jeremiah 49. He then talked to us about how Zachary was in a perfect place and that he was made perfect and that how through the graces of God we would all be together again with our Precious Zachary Shane.
He then went on to tell a few more stories.

After Brother Mike was done with the stories and we prayed again everyone proceeded to go outside. Me, my husband Tom and our other two boys stayed in the chapel and had a few more minutes to ourselves with Zachary. Both preachers also stayed in there with us in case we needed them. Then we went outside to be with our family and friends and had my sister Lisa come back in the chapel to carry our Precious Zachary to the car for us. Which really meant a lot to us. We all stood outside and watched my sister carry our baby boy to the car and sat his casket down in the car, while visiting and crying, and hugging each other. We cried all through the services, and also had through the visitation the night before. So then it came time to go to the cemetery, so everyone got in their cars, which I thought it was wrong that we had to drive ourselves instead of being in the car with our son. We then proceeded on our way to the cemetery. Once at the cemetery my sister also carried our Zachary Shane from the car to his resting spot. Once everyone had a seat and gathered around we began the services at the cemetery.

All through the services and after the services we had lullabies playing. So they began the lullabies for the services and then my Uncle Don McCutcheon got up and read another poem that
my Uncle Doug McCutcheon wrote called Daddy's Gotcha.

"Daddy's Gotcha"

I held you in my trembling arms,
Just after you were born,
When the doctor said cogratulations,
You are the father of a baby boy,
I took one look at your sweet face,
And said, don't worry daddy's gotcha'.
I took you to your first grade class,
And could see the fear in your eyes,
Where soon the tears did flow,
And when I went to leave the room,
You grabbed me and held on tight,
As I said, don't worry daddy's gotcha'.
I was so proud at your graduation,
And remember how handsome you were,
Then when they said the world awaits,
I saw the worry in your face,
As you realized it is a big scary place,
So I told you, don't worry daddy's gotcha'.
Then one day I heard the doctors say,
We are afraid your son is very ill.
We will try to do everything we can,
But it really does not look good,
As I remembered the day you were born,
And I said, don't worry daddy's gotcha'.
I prayed all night for God's embrace,
Asking Him to watch over you,
Then His angels came and took you away,
My heart became so weak that day,
Then a still small voice I heard say,
Don't worry Daddy's gotcha'.
- By: Paul D. McCutcheon, Copyright � 06/28/02

When Uncle Don was done reading the poem Brother Mike Overton got up and read a few more verses from the bible (Chapter 14 and Revelations 24). When done with the verses he continued on to say a few more comforting words to us and our family. We then bowed our heads in prayer to finish the services. The preachers then walked up to us all and hugged and shook our hands and told us how sorry they were and that they would keep us all in their thoughts and prayers and that if we ever needed them for anything to just call them, and they would be there for us no matter when it was. We continued to sit a while listening to the lullabies play while staring at our sons casket and flowers crying and holding each other the whole time. We then stood up and continued to look at our sons casket and flowers while still holding each other and crying. Then we took the ribbon that had his name and birth date on it off the casket piece we had got for him. We also took the white and gold angel bear with a halo that played O Holy Night that we got for his casket piece off the casket piece. Then my mom and dad had got us a beautiful plant to keep and she also had a smaller white and gold angel bear with a halo that was just like the one we got for his casket piece, so we took it off and kept it too.

Then one of my husband's customers from his store that he runs for the company he works for sent us a flower basket with a ceramic woman angel on it, which was also beautiful so we took it off as well to keep. Then I also took a flower of each kind and some of the greenery off his casket piece and the other flower basket we were going to leave there at the cemetery with him. We still continued to stand there looking at the casket and the flowers still holding each other and crying. Then right at that moment the song Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (with a little kid reading it) started to play which made us cry even more. After that my husband Tom took off the casket piece and I opened the casket so we could see
our Zachary Shane one last time.

I kneeled there next to our Precious baby boy crying, holding his hand, rubbing his sweet little face, kissing him and telling him how much we love him and miss him. I then hugged and kissed him one last time and and told him how much he meant to us and that we love him so very much, with all our hearts and souls and that he touched our hearts and souls forever and that we would cherish and remember everything about him and every moment we had with him forever and eternity. I then closed the casket and we put the flowers back on the casket and went to visit with our family and friends. When we were all done with the services and having our time with our Zachary Shane, they told us we could come back in about an hour if we wanted to see his resting spot once he was laid to rest. So then everyone went on their way. We had my parents keep our other two boys again for a little while, while we went to do some things and come back to the cemetery to have a few minutes to ourselves with Zachary. So we went and did what we had to do and went back to the cemetery to see our Zachary's resting spot. Our friend and his girlfriend were there at the cemetery with us but they gave us our time to ourselves. While standing out there at his resting spot
I could feel that he was there with us as well watching over us to help comfort us in some way.

After leaving the cemetery, me, my husband Tom, and our friends went out to eat and have sometime to be together and just visit and to try and clear our heads for a little while. Then leaving the restaurant we went and dropped our friends off at their car and went to pick up our other two boys at their Grandparent's house. Once we picked them up we went back home to be together and try to begin the healing process. Also my husband tried to explain to our oldest boy what was going on and that how his baby brother was sick and had to go live with God. But that he was up in heaven with God and Jesus and was an angel watching over us all. Which we all know that the pain and longing for our child will never go away, but then I wouldn't want it to go away anyways. There will be many bad days and also many good days and also there will be many sleepless nights up crying and longing to have our child with us. But knowing that our son Zachary is in heaven and is an angel of Gods helps to ease the pain a little but not much. Plus knowing that he is not ever going to have to suffer any of the pain we are going through here on earth or the pain he would of had if he had lived without his kidneys and bladder and with his lungs not being strong enough. We all know that he is in a perfect place and that he is made perfect as well and that we will all someday be in that perfect place with him and be able to do the things we didn't get to do here on earth
with our precious little boy.

So until then we will just continue to take it day by day and cherish and remember everything about our Zachary Shane. And we will continue to talk to him and tell him how much we love and miss him
and wish so bad to have him home with us in our arms each and everyday of our lives.

Well I guess that is all of our story. I'm just sorry that I had to write such a story. But I hope it touches other people and helps them in some way. Also I do continue to sleep with the blanket our son
Zachary Shane used in the hospital. It seems to help me a lot,
especially when I'm trying to go to sleep.

Well... Thanks for reading our story and visiting our Zachary Shane's web page.
We really appreciate it a lot. Our hearts and prayers also go out
to the other families that have gone through a loss in their lives.

God Bless us and you all as well !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE LOVE AND MISS YOU ZACHARY SO MUCH AND WE WILL ALWAYS CHERISH AND REMEMBER YOU EACH AND EVERY MOMENT OF EVERYDAY. LOTS OF HUGS
AND KISSES FOR YOU BABY. WE ALL WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN ONE DAY.
MOMMY, DADDY, AND YOUR BROTHERS LOVE AND MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!