"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time." -Catherine Zandonella

"Beer is good food." -Anonymous

"Beer has food value, but food has no beer value." -Anonymous

"Mmmmm....beer" -Homer Simpson

"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol, than alcohol has taken out of me." -Winston Churchill

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life...so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." -Anonymous

"Beauty is in the eyes of the beerholder." -Anonymous

"I drink to make other people interesting." -George Jean Nathan

"I drink to stop the voices in my head." -From Dr. Katz

"Never trust anyone who tells you it's just water." -Alison Blumer

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case...coincidence, I think not." -Anonymous

"He was a wise man who invented beer." -Plato

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -Ernest Hemmingway

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -Frank Zappa

"The more you drink the better she looks." -Anonymous Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink." His reply: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." -W.C. Fields

"If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs." -David Daye

"Work is the curse of the drinking class." -Oscar Wilde

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." -Henry Youngman

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." -Humphrey Bogart

"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." -Kaiser Wilhelm

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer." -Homer Simpson

"They who drink beer will think beer." -Washington Irving

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." -Ernest Hemmingway

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." -Dean Martin

"All right brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so, let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." -Homer Simpson

"Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." -Ambrose Bierce

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol." -Anonymous

"I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast." -W.C. Fields

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits

"You dont like jail?" "Naw, they got the wrong kind of bars in there." -Charles Bukowski

"It's better to have beer in hand than gas in tank." -Anonymous

"Beer--it's not just for breakfast anymore." -Anonymous

"Beer: Nature's laxative." -Anonymous

"Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!" -Anonymous

"One more drink and I'd be under the host." -Dorothy Parker

"All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow." -Dave Barry

"When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer." -Dave Barry

"If nothing beats a Bud, given the choice, I'd take the nothing..." -Anonymous

"Draft beer, not people!" -Anonymous

"A drink a day keeps the shrink away." -Edward Abbey

"A full beer is a perfect beer." -Tim Russman

"I'm allergic to grass. Hey it could be worse, I could be allergic to beer." -Greg Norman, Golfer

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