aboutme

As you are interested in this page you maybe like to learn also about the person this page is all about.

My Name is Christine, i am 40 years old and i live in Nuernberg , Germany.
I am a nurse and mother of two girls in the age of 13 and 15 that i ,after splitting from my husband raise by myself.
I am for almost 18 years in the lifestyle , my submission is structured deep inside me ,i see it as part of me ,it feels natural and i am lost if i can not share it with the one that i want be close to .
At first when i slowly discovered it i was lost , i felt as something was wrong with me . I was not able to understand my desires as they was so different from the ones my friends at that time talked about . I felt like trapped within , lost in desires that was pulsating through my veins , curious on where it would lead me , scared because i did not know where my journey would take me to . I had first relationships and could not find what i was longing for , I ran guys out of my live because they did not know what to do with the submission i offered .

Then one day i ran into someone that changed my life completely, first it was really scary though , as he seen me as a sub and told me straight what he sees in my future, the visuals he brought to my mind scared me. I thought .." oh my god .. don´t let this be true .. i am not one of the pervert `s .. " ... as i had also that picture of BD/SM in my head that the general public has . So i was running even more.. even faster , I was pretending i was fine .. that i was just like my friends .. in denial of all the things that Guy had told me , even though i knew at that point that a lot he said was true as i saw myself in it , well to make a long story short i got more information on BD/SM , and even my family at that point was trying to help me , lol.. they got books.. it was topic in open conversations over dinner .

Then i went back to talk to that guy who did not know me well but seemed to know so much about me . He told me he had expected me to come back , and he introduced me to more people that was established in the lifestyle , and finally i found people that shared my feelings, that knew what i was talking about , who had answers to all of my questions. I still was scared but with a lot of talking about it and slowly being introduced to more and more about the lifestyle my perspective changed and i felt more and more comfortable.

I soon ended up with my first sponsor , someone who broke me into the do and dont´s ,who introduced me to things ,who worked with me ,with my curiosity and my fears . And a while later i fond someone who taken the place as my Trainer first and Master later . I learned a lot from him, i found out about the deeper meanings of the lifestyle , how deep D/s relations have to become to develop the depth of trust that is needed between Top and bottom, i leaned how important communication was , learned about controlling myself and the control you pass on to the Master. I found out about punishment , about all the pleasure and pain. And slowly i learned how full filling it is to totally submitt to the One your heart beats for and how much pleasure i gained from his satisfaction. To see the pleasure in His eyes when i did as He said ,to feel His Pride in me when i kneeled at his feet . The Lifestyle at this point became my foundation, my passion, i knew i had found my way home .

I have been trough the ups and down of it , i have lost my faith in some people that call there self Master , but i never blamed the lifestyle for it . You can find wolfs in sheep clothing in the BD/SM lifestyle as well as in any other lifestyle form , and that is why one should always take in consideration that this lifestyle form needs far more trust involved then any other lifestyle you can find out there, in order to gain the ability to completely surrender to a Dominant or Master .

I find pleasure, joy, and fulfilment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life.
I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.
He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.
My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high... .. for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful. And if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognise it, for who are they to call my Master wrong?
If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am that...as wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master. My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls.
His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.
I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.
His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously. I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold.
Only to He who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud.