adoption

ADOPTION

I went through the labor,
But never held him in my arms,
As I gave him for adoption,
So others saw his childhood charms.
But it has always been my prayer,
That all these years he did know,
It was because I really love him,
That I had to let him go.
He has a special mother ,
To care for him I'm sure,
And the love she has for him,
Is one that will endure.
Though I never held him,
Or saw his boyish smile,
I have always loved him,
And hope to see him in a while.
In a while in Heaven,
Just through the pearly gates,
When we are together there,
Where our loving Savior waits.
-Patricia Lawrence

GOD BLESS
UNITED
STATES
Remember
9/11/01

Patricia and the son she gave up for adoption. She found him in 1993 after searching for 1 1/2 years.

When I was 19 years old I was the victim of a date rape and became pregnant as a result. When I went home to my family, I was told that I was to have an abortion. I didn't know what that word meant. I asked my family to explain it to me. When they told me what the word meant, I said, "If there is a God I will not have an abortion, as I do not want to answer for taking the life of my child."
     Therefore it was my decision to have my child and to relinquish him for adoption. This was without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
     In January of 1958 I gave birth to a very healthy baby boy. He was a handsome baby and when I went to the nursery to see him I cried as I talked to him. I could not hold him, for if I had I would never have been able to let him go for adoption.
     My heart was breaking and I was sure I would never again be the same. I was also sure that I would never again be able to have a baby, because I felt as though no man would ever want to marry me.
     However, in August of 1958 I moved from my home in Missouri to California, to live with an aunt and uncle who were living in the Southern California area. Two days after I arrived in California, I met a most wonderful young man named Wayne Lawrence. When I first met him something inside me said, this is the man I will marry.
     One month after I met him, Wayne asked me for a date. We went to the Los Angeles County fair with a cousin of mine (Mary) and a cousin of Wayne's (Bobby) both of whom had physical disabilities. Wayne pushed Bobby's wheelchair, and I pushed Mary's wheelchair.
     The next day Wayne asked me out again and we went to a drive-in movie. Wayne was 13 years older than I was, and that was great with me as I always liked men who were older. We immediately found comfort in each other. Wayne was lonely and I was unsure I would appeal to a man. After we had been dating about 3 weeks I could see that Wayne was falling in love with me and I knew I would have to tell him about the child I had given up for adoption. When I told him he took me home immediately. I was heartbroken as I was sure I would never see him again.
      The very next day he called me and asked if he could come see me. I told him that he could. He took me to a beautiful spot in the San Gabriel Mountains in Southern California. He parked the car and said something to me which I will never forget and will cherish all my life. He said, "Pat, I don't care where you have been or what you have done. What's important to me is what you can be to me now and in my future."
      Less than one week later he asked me to marry him and three months later we were married.
      God loved me and gave me the desires of my heart. Wayne and I were married 36 years and had three beautiful daughters. I saw in Wayne an unconditional love, much like the love that God shows to His children.

UPDATE 12/21/02