Jesus and Moses went golfing. Beyond the par three ninth tee box was a body of water, followed by the green. Jesus decided to use the eight iron.

Moses said to Jesus, "I think you should use the seven iron with this wind."

"Oh, no", said Jesus, "Arnold Palmer would use the eight iron." Jesus teed up, took a swing and, sure enough, the ball plopped into the water. Jesus told Moses to go get the ball. Moses walked out to the water, parted it, and strolled out and got the ball.

Once again, Jesus teed it up with the eight iron. And again, Moses pointed out the gusty wind.

But again, Jesus said, "Arnold Palmer would use the eight iron."

So Jesus teed up and took a mighty swing. As expected, the ball fell into the water again.

As Jesus was walking across the water to get the ball, another golfer noticed this, and said, "Darn! Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?".

Moses said, "No, he IS Jesus Christ, but he THINKS he's Arnold Palmer!"

A couple met at Myrtle Beach and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue their relationship after their vacations were over.

"Elaine, it's only fair to warn you." Floyd said.

"I'm a golf nut. I live... eat... sleep... and breathe golf."

"Well," said Elaine, "since you're being honest, so will I. I'm a hooker."

"Oh, I see," Floyd said pensively.

Then, he smiled and said.... "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

After being stranded on a deserted island for ten years, a man is astounded when a gorgeous blonde woman in a wet suit and scuba gear swims up to his little island.

She walks up to the guy and asks, "How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years!" he replies, so she reaches over and unzips her waterproof pocket and gives him a fresh pack of cigarettes.

Then she asks, "How long has it been since you've had a drink of whiskey?"

Again, he says, "Ten years!" so she pulls out a flask of whiskey from an inside top pocket.

Then she starts unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front as she asks, "How long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"

And the man replies, "Oh my gosh! Don't tell me you have some golf clubs in there, too!"