Jenny

Part One

      I stood across the street from the little yellow church and listened as the singing from the choir escaped the walls and filled the streets with its wonderful sound. I had passed it before as I walked from my new foster home to the little country store a few blocks away. Until that sunday morning I had never really noticed it as being anything different than any other building lineing each side of the street. I had only been a week and I had already covered every inch of the town. Summer had just started so there was no school to attend.

I really didn't like my new foster parents and I didn't feel like I belonged, so I stayed gone as much as I could. I spent my days making trips to the little store or I would go down to the water front, sit on the driftwood and watch the tide go in and out. My foster parents didn't seem to care much where we were and they never questioned where I was or what I was up to. Even though I didn't like them, it bothered me that they didn't seem to care. No one had ever really cared.

After I bought a soda at the little corner store with the change that I had taken from the counter at home, I walked slowly down the street with nowhere in particular to go. As I approached the little yellow church, I noticed that the singing had stopped and most of the people were filtering out and were congragating on the side walk and the lawn. Little boys and girls dressed in their sunday best, chased each other and giggled with happiness as parents visited. I watched as the minister stood at the door and shook peoples hands as they exited the church. Standing next to him was a lady, a girl and a boy. As he continued to say goodbye he occasionally patted the boy on the head and hugged the girl next to him. I watched as she wrapped her arm around him. She looked about my age and I found myself feeling a little jealous. To have someone care about her and love her so much angered me. Why couldn't someone love me like that. I turned and ran toward the only home I knew.

The whole next week, I stayed gone as much as I could. My foster parents were always yelling at each other or about stuff us kids did. I hated it and I hated them. While my foster father was busy throwing things around in anger, I took off out the back door. I ran for several blocks. I slowed as I got to the block with the little yellow church. It was quiet today. I walked down to the little corner store. It was very hot and the run had made me thirsty. I dug into the pockets of my denim shortalls for some change. I had just enough to buy a soda. I walked up the steps and entered the store. It was cooler inside and I don't know why, but I liked the feel of the little country store. It had old dark plank floors that creeked when you walked and it had old store signs hanging on the walls. There were a few people in the store and the guy behind the counter was helping a lady with a child in a stroller. As I turned the isle to head toward the soda cooler, I passed the candy bars. I spied my favorite candy bar but I only had enough to buy the soda. I got the soda and as I passed the candybars I don't know what came over me but I snatched one up and quickly stuck it in my pocket. I went to the counter, handed the guy my change and I headed for the door. As my feet left the last step and landed on the sidewalk, I felt a hand rest itself on my shoulder.

"Young lady, may I have a word with you?"

When I turned around, my eyes met a shadow of a man just about chest high. I quickly looked up. There towering above me, was the Minister of the little yellow church.

"What!" I quickly snapped.

"What is your name young lady?" he asked me sternly.

"I don't have to tell you that!" I snapped.

"Well would you rather tell the police or me?" he asked.

"The police?" I asked surprised.

I watched as his face made this funny little design that I hadn't ever seen before. He reached out his hand. "Let me have it!" he ordered.

"What!" I asked as I stared at him.

"The candy bar you took from the store," he replied.

My heart leaped from my chest. He had seen me take it. A minister had seen we steal something? For the first time in my life I felt weird about being caught. I gulped, reached into my pocket and took out the candy bar. I slowly placed it into his very large hand.

He looked at it briefly, then again looked at me. "What do you think your parents are going to say?" he asked me.

"I don't have parents. I have foster parents and they aren't gonna care." I replied.

"Well young lady, that is no excuse for taking something. I care that you took this and the Lord cares, so this is what we are going to do. I will go with you but you're going to give this candy back, you're going to appologize to the owner and offer to make amends any way you can, and then we are going to go talk to your guardians.

I looked at him like he was nuts. I wanted to turn and run, but for some reason I couldn't get my legs to move. Something about him made me want to do what he asked. I kept thinking about that day at the church and how happy his kids looked. I wished for a father like that. He reached over and took me by the scruff of my neck and we headed back into the store.

"What have ya got there Reverend," the store clerk asked?

The Reverend handed me the candy bar and scooted me toward the front of the counter as he stood behind me. "We have someone who would like to return something that belongs to you. I turned and looked over my shoulder then turned and looked at the man behind the counter. Without speaking, I slowly laid the candybar on the counter and pushed it toward the scruffy looking man.

"Do you have something you would like to say to Mr Daniels?

I turned at looked at the Reverend and then to the man behind the counter. "I uhh accidentally forgot to pay for this," I whispered.

Suddenly I felt my bottle of soda being taken from my other hand and sat on the counter before me. "She would like to give this back to you as well," The Reverend stated.

"Hey! I paid for that!" I shouted.

"If that is true, then how did you forget to pay for the candybar?" he asked.

"Ok, so I stole the candybar. I was hungry! But I paid for that soda!" I yelled.

As I reached for my soda the Reverend scooped it up and handed it to the man.

"Mr Daniels is waiting," he scolded.

"Fine. I took the candybar from your store and I'm sorry. Can I have my soda now?"

"Take the candybar and go put it back where you got it," the Reverend ordered.

Mr Daniels handed me the candy and I took it back to the rack. "Can I have my soda now?" I asked.

"What is your name kid?" he asked.

"Jenny Milton. Now can I please have my soda?"

"Kid, you're what, around 9?..... 10?

I'm ten," I replied.

The man came from around the counter and starred down at me. "Well Jenny Milton, I have a daughter just your age, and so does the Reverend here, and If my daughter ever shoplifted, I'd put her over my knee and spank the livin daylights outta her. I'm sure the Reverend here would do the same, so consider yourself warned. Don't come in my store and shoplift ever again unless you want that bottom of yours to get a good tannin.
Do you understand?"

My stomach was tossing and turning like never before. I had never been threatened with a spanking before and I wasn't for a minute about to doubt this mans words, so I just shook my head yes.

"Good then, we understand each other. Now you can have your soda back." The man replied.

"She can have it back, just as soon as she sweeps your floor," The Reverend Added.

"Sweep his floor? I screeched as I turned and stared at the Reverend.

"Yes Jenny. Confession to wrong doing and making amends will clense your heart of guilt." he replied. "Now sweep!"

I stood there and looked at both of them. "God, I'm never stealing again, I promise. Where's the broom?" I asked.

Mr Daniels showed me where the broom was. The Reverend left and I spent the next 25 minutes sweeping the plank floor of the store. When I was done, he handed me a cold soda, I exited the store, sat down on the steps outside, and gulped it down as fast as I could.

"You wait here for the Reverend. He is taking you home to talk to your parents, but remember what I said. Don't come and take anything from the store again unless you....

"I know, I know. Don't worry, I won't." I replied.

A few minutes later, the Reverend returned. He took me home and had a long talk with my foster parents. To my surprise, my foster dad sent me to my room. I wondered if I could really be in trouble with them. Could they really care after all?

I heard the front door close. I ran to my bedroom window and watched the Reverend get in his car and leave. I don't know why, but I wished that I was with him. I felt angry at first when he scolded me for stealing, and I didn't understand why, but I just wished he would take me with him. I quickly turned to the sound of my bedroom door opening. My foster father looked really angry as he closed the door behind him. In the two weeks that I had been there, I had never seen him hit or punish anyone. I didn't think he really cared, but this time he looked angry enough to punish.

"Kid! this is a small town and we know most everyone here. Don't go around causing anymore trouble. We don't want no Minister coming around here. So stay out of trouble or you will be out of here faster than you can blink an eye. You got that!" he yelled. "Stay in this room for the rest of the night." he yelled as he turned and slammed my door. I listened as he walked back down the hall. That night they had another fight. This time it was about me and the trouble that I had caused. They seemed more angry about me and the Reverend than they did about the shoplifting. I would never find someone to love me. Unless............

Part Two

     The next few days I stayed around the house. I dreamed what it would be like to have the Reverend as my father. He would be proud of me like he was his own kids and I would feel like I belonged, but my foster parents were who I had to live with and I hated them. All day Saturday, my foster dad worked in the back yard and late afternoon people started showing up. There were a bunch of kids running around and we had a big barbeque. People started drinking and as darkness came, they build a bonfire in the backyard. Around ten o'clock he sent all five of us to bed while they all got drunk. The more they drank, the louder they got and I hated it. I slipped out of my bed, tiptoed down the hall and into the living room.

"What the hell are you doing out of bed?"

I jumped and turned. My foster father was standing in the kitchen doorway. "Get your ass back to bed. If I see you up again you're gonna regret the day you were born."

I turned and ran to my room and crawled back into bed.

"Jenny when he drinks you would be better to stay out of his sight cause it makes him mad to see us and he will hit you, so in the morning stay in bed until he says we can get up. Now go back to sleep.

I waited until Jacob went back to sleep. I opened my window and crawled out. I ran barefoot through the side yard, onto the sidewalk and ran as fast as I could. I ran several blocks to the little corner store. I sat down on the stairs and looked up at the moonlit summer sky as tears ran down my face. What was I going to do.

The next morning I woke before my foster parents. I crept out of bed, grabbed some clean clothes, dressed, and snuck out the back door. I didn't want to be there when they woke. I walked down the street toward the little church. The sun had just started to peek through and slowly turn the darkness into light. I sat on the steps of the church and let the warmth of the sun wrap around me. I stared at the sign in the front lawn and I read it over and over "Welcome to our church" it said. It listed times of service and times for sunday school classes. Reverend William Myer was in bigger letters and then it listed other people for sunday school. Rebecca Myer must be his wife and the lady I saw standing next to him that day. As I sat there on the steps, I wondered what the Minister and his family was doing. Were they still sleeping? Were they up eating breakfast? I wished I knew and I wished I could be there with them. I don't know why but I stood up and tried the door of the church. To my surprise it wasn't locked. I slowly opened the door and peeked my head in. The church was quiet and there were no lights on inside. I squeezed through and closed the door behind me. I stood there listening and looking. The church was so peaceful and I felt safe there. I crept down the hall and peeked around the corner. It opened into a big foyer and to the right of me were a set of double doors. Behind me was a wall with a couple smaller doors. To the left was a kitchen and straight ahead were a couple more doors. I looked through the doors in front of me. Inside was a ping pong table, a piano and a few other fun thing. I continued to look through the church. I found sunday school rooms and what looked like an office. Finally I went through the huge double doors. I stood in awe. The room was very large. The ceiling was a million miles high and there were rows of benches, leading to a small stage and another piano. I made my way up to the first bench and sat down. Beside me on the bench were some books. One was a book with songs and the other was a bible. I picked it up, carried it to the carpeted steps that led to the stage, laid down and started reading. I became so engrossed in this book that I didn't here anyone enter the room.

"Jenny?"

I jumped, quickly sat up and looked for the voice that had called to me. There walking toward me was the Minister that had made me return the candybar and sweep the floor.

"I, was just reading!" I said as I closed the book and held it out. "I wasn't going to take it. I swear!

"I know you weren't going to. What book are you reading?" he asked as he came and sat down beside me.

I handed him the book. He looked at it and then at me. "This is the best book that you could ever read Jenny. Would you like one? he asked.

I remembered what my foster dad had said about the minister and I didn't want him to know I had gone to the church. "I uhhh don't know. I need to think about it." I replied.

"Well Jenny you're up and out early. Is your family up yet and do they know where you are?" he asked

"I told you before. They don't care about me and they didn't care I took that candy. They had a party and are still asleep."

"So you haven't had breakfast?" he asked

"No not yet," I replied.

"Well come on with me then." he said as he stood and reached for my hand. " You can't come to church on an empty stomach."

"I smiled, took his hand and we headed out of the room, down the hall and out the back door.

When we entered through the back door it took us right into the kitchen. His wife was making breakfast and there were two girls setting the table for breakfast.

"William, where did you find her" his wife asked.

"Rebecca, this is the little girl I told you about the other day. I found her in the church and I told her she can't attend church on an empty stomach," he replied.

"Well that is true," she said as she brushed my hair from my eyes.

"Children? he said loudly, and in less than two seconds, there were four children standing there looking at me. "Children, this is Jenny Milton and she is going to have breakfast with us and then attend church today. Jenny this is Angela, Ashley, Jonathan, and Brittney. Jenny, Ashley is your age," he said.

Each one of them said hi and Angela hugged me. I stood there and watched as they each took something and sat it on the table. The little boy was dressed in nice pants and a white shirt and a tie. The girls had on very pretty flower print dresses and white dress shoes. Their hair was either braided, or curled very nicely. I wanted to look like that too.

"Jenny, Take this and put it on the table," his wife said as she handed me a bowl with fresh fruit. I took it and set it on the table.

"Ashley, Take Jenny into the bathroom so she can wash her hands. I followed her and washed my hands in the bathroom. "I really like your dress," I said as I looked at my wrinkled shirt and old worn jeans.

"Are you really coming to church?" she asked.

"I, well your dad said I was and I ain't got anything better to do."I replied.

"Well after we eat, Daddy goes to the church to get ready. My brother goes with him and we help Mother clean up. If you want, you can borrow one of my dresses to wear," she replied.

"I've never worn a dress before."I replied.

"Never?" she asked in shock.

"Well, I've never had a dress, so I couldn't really wear one," I replied.

"Jenny, come and we will get ou a dress before breakfast." she said.

We left the bathroom and went up the stairs. I followed her to the end of the hall and into one of the most beautiful rooms I had ever seen in my life. I stood in awe as Ashley searched through her closet and pulled out a dress.

"How about this one?" she asked.

I slowly reached out and touched the dress. It felt so clean and it was very pretty.

"Hurry and change before we miss breakfast."

I slipped out of my clothes and pulled the dress over my head. Then I slipped on the white socks and shoes that Ashley handed me. I stood in front of the full length mirror and stared at the dress. It didn't look like me at all. Ashley handed me a brush. I took my hair out of its ponytail and I brushed my hair.

"You have very pretty hair," Ashley said

"Thanks, but I didn't get to wash it," I replied.

Ashley pulled me over to the bed and I sat down. She brushed my hair, pulled it back and braided it. Then I stood in front of the mirror again.

"Come on Jenny, Daddy is calling us," she said as she ran out the door. I followed her down the stairs and back into the dining room.

When we entered the room, everyone said I looked very nice and The Reverend gave Ashley a hug and said thank you. I wasn't quite sure why he did that. As I took my seat, the room got quiet. Everyone bowed their heads and the Reverend started to say a prayer. Most of it didn't make much sense to me except the part where he thanked God for bringing me into their lives. It made me feel warm all over and for the first time I felt cared about. That day I wore a dress, attended church, and did a little praying of my own.

Part Three

     As each day went by, I spent more and more time with the minister and his family. Ashley and I became best friends and she started to teach me how to play the piano.

One thing I did notice was that they never went anywhere without their parents. They never walked around. Never went to the store for candy or never went to the beach alone. They did do alot of chores and they read alot. They never had tv or listened to any kind of music except church music. I never even saw them fight or talk back to their mom and dad. I thought they were strange. After Ashley finished practicing her piano, we got a soda and sat out on the front steps of the church. It was so hot that afternoon and I was wishing that we could be down at the beach instead of sitting on the steps soaking up the hot summer sun.

Ashley, lets go swimming down at the beach."

"Im not allowed unless my Mother or Father take me," she replied.

"How come?" I asked.

"Because it's dangerous and we don't really go anywhere unless our parents are with us.

"Well if you can't go down to the beach, then lets go to the store and get some ice cream." I stated.

"I'm not really allowed to leave the yard," she replied.

"You can't go anywhere?" I asked.

"I go lots of places. I just go with my parents.

"But Ashley, that don't make no sense. How do you play and stuff if you can't go anywhere. I go to the beach, to the store and where ever I want to and I'm not hurt," I said. "I have money for ice cream and we can be to the store and back in less than ten minutes. No one will even know we went.

"Well, I don't know if I can. Daddy would not like it if I left the yard.

"I know what. I will go get us some ice cream cause I can go where ever I want. You wait here," I said as I stood and started to walk down the sidewalk. "What kind do you want?" I asked.

"Something chocolate with nuts please." she yelled.

I started down the sidewalk and got just about to the end of the block. "Wait Jenny. Wait!! I turned and there running toward me was Ashley.

"You decided to come?"

"Yes because I changed my mind about the ice cream, but we have to hurry cause I didn't ask," she stated.

We walked as fast as we could. got our ice cream and then headed back to the church. I could tell she was nervous, but by our fourth trip to the store for treats, she began to relax a little more.

"See it isn't that big a deal to walk to the store. You miss out on all kinds of fun by having to stay home," I stated as we sat down on the steps of the church.

"Yeah I know but telling my mother that we are just in the church, well that is lying and Daddy would be mad if he thought I had lied.

"But we really didn't lie. We were in the church, we just didn't stay there the whole time," I answered.

"I feel bad though. I do feel like I lied.

Ashley. It isn't a bad thing to go to the store. Almost every kid in town walks places. you guys are the only one who don't. It's like your grounded or something.

Well I guess since we just walk to the store but if I get caught, I will be in so much trouble."

Well your parents seem really nice, so how bad could it be?" I asked as I licked my Ice cream. Ashley got really quiet and she looked all around us as if she thought someone were listening.

Hey think I can stay over tonight since we have church in the morning?"

That would be fun and maybe Daddy will let us sleep in the church. You know in the back room with the bed. It is for when people come to visit but we sleep out here sometimes as long as we don't stay up all night.

We ran into the house and asked. We all ate dinner outside that night and the four of us cleaned everything up and did all the dishes. We finally went out to the church around 8p.m. with instructions from their dad to be in bed by 9:00. We played hand games and told stories before crawling into our sleeping bags. Around 9:20 we heard the back door of the church open, and a minute later, the Reverend knocked on the door.

"I just came to check on you girls. I wanted to make sure you were all getting into bed. I want lights out when I leave." he ordered

"Yes sir" replied Angela, Ashley and Brittney in unison.

Jenny," did you here me?" he said looking right at me.

"Uhh yes I heard," I replied

"Jenny when I ask a question, You should reply respectfully with "Yes sir" This way I know you truly understood and you respect what I say. Remember next time"

I didn't know what to say so I just nodded.

"Ok girls lets say a prayer and then it is time for lights out," he ordered.

I was now getting the hang of the prayer thing and it actually felt good to listen to him. I watched as each one of the girls laid their heads down and closed their eyes.

"Jenny!

I quickly closed my eyes and laid my head down too. I relaxed as he said the prayer and then turned out the light. I listened as he closed the back door of the church. I laid there tossing and turning. It was to early and the sun was still out. It was very warm and I couldn't sleep. I looked over. Angela and Brittney were asleep, but Ashley was still awake.

"Ashley, " I whispered. "Lets go get some soda.

"Ok" she replied.

She and I both crawled from the sleeping bags and we headed to the church kitchen. We looked all around but there were no soda's anywhere.

"Lets run to the store and get a couple," I said.

"No! we can't. Its after 9:30 and the store is probably closed.

"You're not serious! Ashley, this is Saturday night. Everything is open till like midnight around here. Gosh you need to get out more.

"Ok but we have to hurry. If Daddy catches us out I will get punished." she said.

"Well lets go then. We can walk down. It is cooling down and there is a breeze so it will be nice. We will hurry back and besides, your dad was just out here and he thinks we are probably asleep by now.

Ashley smiled and we left the church. We walked down to the store, got our soda and sat on the steps of the store. Ashley seemed in awe of all the people out after it got dark.

"The sounds are so different after it gets dark. It is sorta kool to be out this late and I feel great," she replied.

We sat there for a very long time and watched people drive up and down the street. There were people all around. Ashley and I walked all over, before returning to the steps of the store. So far It was the best night ever.

Suddenly she jumped up. "How long have we been gone?" she asked.

I don't know. A while I guess." I replied

"Lets go!" she said as she started walking down the street.

We entered through the front of the church, headed past the office doors, turned and headed down to the room where we were camping out. As we walked into the room, we couldn't help but giggle. The moon was shining through the window onto an empty bed where Angela and Brittney were suppose to be sleeping. Ashley quickly flipped on the light. The bed stood empty.

"Ohhh no!! where are they? she cried as she turned toward the door.

"They are inside the house" came a voice from the doorway.

We both jumped as the voice belonged to her father.

"Daddy!!," Ashley cried. I just stood there not knowing what to say and waiting for him to yell at us, but he didn't. He just stood there looking at us forever. Ashley hung her head and began to softly cried.

"I do not know where the two of you have been, but I do know it wasn't in this bed where you were suppose to be. Ashley Marie Myer look at me."

I stood and watched her raise her head and look at her father.

"Such a disobedient and deceptive child I have before me.

"No Daddy. I'm not! I'm so sorry Daddy. Ohh nooo. I'm not! she cried.

I felt so bad. My friend was crying and it was my fault that her father was disappointed in her. Now she was sobbing out of control.

"What do you have to say for yourself young lady?" he said.

I just stood there watching him and Ashley.

Jenny! I asked you a question? What do you have to say?"

My eyes widened. He was talking to me and I really didn't know what to say. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Ashley, Stop your crying. Just stop it now!." he ordered.

He continued to stand in the doorway. Ashley and I stood by the bed not knowing what to do next. Finally she calmed down and kept wiping her tears.

"Jenny, Ashley. I don't know where you two were or what you were doing, but it wasn't what you were told to do and you certainly didn't have permission. I should put you both over my knee and spank you, but it's very late and I am tired. I will deal with the two of you tomorrow. Now get into bed.

Both of us hurried into the house, threw on jammies and crawled into bed. We went right to sleep. The next morning we were very tired. As I got ready for church, I wondered if he meant what he said about spanking me. I wondered if he would do that even though I wasn't his child. We got ready for church in silence and at 8 .a.m we went downstairs. When we walked into the dining room, Ashley' dad pointed to a corner and she quickly took her place in the dining room corner. I stood there in he middle of the floor watching.

Jenny, Over there" he ordered as he pointed to a corner, but I just stood there. Suddenly I felt a solid wack right to the seat of my dress as he again told me to take a corner. This time I obeyed without a word. As I stood in the corner I did alot of thinking. I didn't live there and I didn't have to stay if I didn't want to. I could just leave, but I really liked Ashley and I wanted to be a part of this wonderful family that I had never had. I decided I would do anything if they would just keep me. Finally the house grew quiet, then we heard him call us from the corners. I watched as Ashley stood in front of her father, I took a place beside her and waited.

He asked us questions as to what we had done and Ashley confessed to her own disobedience. "You will attend church service from the very front pew where I can keep my eye on you. You will stay for the entire service. No sunday school. When church is over, you will stay there until I come back for you. We are going to have a long talk young lady, then I'm going to put you over my knee. Now go to the church."

She turned and left without a word.

"As for you young lady what do you have to say?" he asked.

I felt bad for Ashley, but I didn't really think it was such a big deal to go exploring. "I don't see what was so wrong. We just walked around and had fun." I said.

"Maybe all you did was walk around, but did you have permission? he asked.

If we would of asked, you would have said no!" I replied.

Yes I would have, and it isn't your place to question when I say no. All of my children know that my authority is not to be questioned. I am their father and I know what is best for them. When they act disrespectful, or act in a disobedient way, then they know they will be punished.

"We didn't do anything wrong," I said.

You need God, church and discipline. Jenny you need a spanking, but since you're not our child I can not spank you. We all love you but at this time, all I can do is send you home.

"I don't want to go home! I have to go to church." I cried.

"You may go to church Jenny, but you will sit where I put you. When church is over you will go straight home. Ashley may not have you for company for a while, The other children may not either. If you want to talk to me, then you may. Church is starting."

I kept quiet as we walked into the church through the back door. The Reverend went to the front and appologised for not meeting the people as they entered.

As I turned to walk away, he grabbed me by my arm. "Jenny, stay here with me," I stood next to him until he closed the doors of the church. Together we walked into the services. He still had my arm as he led me to the other front pew and seated me on the opposite end of where Ashley was sitting. I wondered if all of the people seated in the church knew that I was in trouble. I sat through the entire service and listened to his sermon. It was about good and evil, and doing right and wrong. I felt really bad by the end of church. I had caused Ashley to be in trouble with her father.

Church services ended with a prayer. As the Reverend walked past, he clutched my arm and pulled me from the pew. I stood silent next to him on the steps of the little yellow church as he shook the hands of departing guests. Mrs Myer stood beside him as did, Brittney, Jonathan and Angela. I felt bad for Ashley as I emagined her still seated awaiting her doom. I remembered the day that I had passed the little yellow church, only seeing two children standing next to their father that day. Had that meant the other two were seated in the chappel awaiting some sort of punishment for being naughty? I began to feel as though I didn't belong where I was. I belonged in a pew, waiting.

As the last guest walked away from the church. I watched Mrs. Myer take the other children, head back into the church and down the hall to the back door.

Jenny!" it's time for you to go home now," he reminded.

I stepped back and looked at him. I felt really bad for getting Ashley into trouble, but more so because I knew I had ruined my chances to have a family. I turned and walked down the steps and away from the church. I crossed the street then turned and looked back. It didn't look like just another building. I felt safe there. I felt loved. I didn't want to let that go. I slowly crossed the street and sat down on the steps. I heard voices inside talking. I knew who it was. I scooted closer to the door and I jumped when I heard footsteps in the hall. Then it grew silent. I stood up and silently opened the door. I took off my shoes and left them outside on the steps. I entered the church and walked down the hall. The office door was ajar. I heard soft cries from Ashley and the Reverends stern voice scolding her. I wanted to run in there and tell him not to scold her but my feet were stuck to the floor. I heard Ashley cry "Im sorry" Then I heard the sound of clapping and loud cries. It hit me that I was hearing my friend get her spanking. I felt tears run down my cheeks as I stood there listening and wishing someone loved me enough to correct me when I was bad. All he had done was send me home. All of this was my fault. I turned and ran out of the church.

I stuck to home for the next few days, but as my foster parents argued and everyone else picked on each other, I missed the little yellow church and all that it provided. I went down to the beach and walked along the water but It didn't help. I wandered the streets for a while, passing the little church several times on my many trips to the general store. I stood across the street three or four times just watching and wondering. I didn't want a spanking but I wanted to be free from my guilt and I wanted to be one of his children. As I sat in the grass in the yard across from the church, a saw the Reverends wife and all of the kids get into the car and leave. Maybe I can just go inside and then I will feel better. I looked for cars and then hurried across the street to the church. I checked the know and the door opened just like it did that first day. I peeked in but didn't hear anything. I closed the door behind me, walked around the corner and entered the sanctuary. I made my way to the first pew and sat down in the very same spot the reverend had placed me in on that last Sunday. I closed my eyes and listened to the silence. I remembered how the minister prayed at meals and at bedtime asking God to take care of us, so I closed my eyes again, crossed my hands and began to pray.

"Dear God, I'm such a bad girl and I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve a this family but I hope someday I can come and visit again. Please don't let Mr Myer be mad at me for being here." I sat there with my eyes closed and thought real hard. "I don't want a spanking but I know I deserve a spanking. Please, I'm not good with prayers but do what you think is best, Amen." as soon as I said Amen, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and looked up at Mr Myer. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. He came around and sat next to me.

"I came by your house a couple time to speak with you, but your guardians said your were out and about," he said softly.

"You did?" I asked. "I didn't think you wanted to talk to me again."

"Child you are missed greatly by this family, but you're not to accepting on authority and I couldn't have you teaching my children to disobey me.

"I'm sorry for getting Ashley into trouble. She said you wouldn't like her doing what we did, but I bugged her to do it." We must have talked for more than an hour. He asked me all kinds of questions about where my parents were and all about my foster parents. It felt so good to get all of my worries out. We must have reached an end to our talk because the room grew silent.

The reverend reached over, placed his hand under my chin and turned my face toward his. "Jenny Milton, you have done many things these past few weeks that have struck sadness into your heart. Disrespect, disobedience and thievery to name just a few. I think you came to ask god how to feel better and be happier. Am I right?" he asked.

My stomach grew knots and warmth filled my body as I shook my head yes.

"Are you ready to accept punishment for your misbehaviors?" he asked in that same stern corrective voice I heard when he punished Ashley. I was so scared but all I could do was shake my head.

Mr Myer stood up, took hold of my arm and pulled me from the bench. He led me from the chappel and we walked down the hall toward his office. As he closed the door behind us I started having second thoughts as to just how much this might hurt and I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not. He seated himself in his chair, took hold of both of my hands and then he began to pray.

"Lord we thank you for this beautiful day. The coming of this child unto you and the correction that she most desperately needs. Help her to understand that a guilty heart cannot move forward until clensed of all sins. Help her to understand and accept the correction as it is administered with love and understanding. In jesus name, Amen.

As I opened my eyes I felt terrified. The reverend turned me to the side and placed me between his knees. I watched as he reached over, opened a desk drawer and pulled out a small oval paddle. My stomach flew into my mouth and I wondered if he had spanked Ashley with the paddle on this past Sunday afternoon. I squeezed his arm as he pulled me across his knees and secured my legs then wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Jenny,"

"Yesssss sirrr" I moaned as I closed my eyes and awaited my doom.

Suddenly I heard a loud whack. Warmth collected on my bottom and spread outward as a cry escaped my mouth that startled me. My eyes flew open and I squeezed the reverends pant leg. Suddenly another whack landed quickly followed by three quick swats. I sucked in and let out a long wail. It hurt more than I thought a spanking ever would and after just five swats, I had hoped it was over. I threw my hands back to protect my bottom.

"Jenny. Move your hands child," he spoke in a soft but stern voice.

"Nooo hoo hooo," I cried as my nose becames stuffed with tears. I don't know how anyone could take such a spanking.

"We have five more to go Jenny. I don't want to have to add to it, so move your hands.

My hands didn't move. "I will count to five and if you don't move them, then we start back at one." he scolded.

I started crying more but I slowly slid my hands away. Another swat ascended and a new crying sound escaped me. The next and last four swats came quickly but when finally done, I was a blubbering mess. I felt myself being turned upright and then I felt two big arms wrap around me in comfort. I collapsed with my head in his shoulder as I cried all over his white shirt. Mr Myer held me just like that until my cries lessoned. Finally he handed me a kleenex to wipe my tears. I had never realized that a spanking could hurt like that but my heart did feel so much lighter. Mr Myer then stood, took me by the hand and led me back into the chappel. We walked to the front. I was still sobbing and was now rubbing my bottom.

"Jenny,"

"Yes Sir," I answered through my sobs.

"I am going to go take care of some work in my office for 30 minutes. I want you to kneel and think about what you did to deserve such a punishment. No less than 30 minutes. By the time you are done, some of the sting will be gone. He left and I stayed kneeling for thirty minutes. I thought about my life and where I had been. I finally felt loved.

"Jenny,"

"Yes Sir, " I replied.

"Come here please," he said.

I slowly stood, turned and walked over to Mr Myer.

"I would be happy to treat you as if you were my child if that is what you would like. We all talked and we all want you to come live with us. I already talked to your social worker and she is going to talk to you. There are many things I do not allow my children to do and you will be expected to live by the same rules. It is up to you, but you will have to obey us. If you disobey or get into trouble, you will be punished. Do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes sir, I understand.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Can I go inside the house and see everyone?" I asked

He smiled and hugged me and with my tear stained face and stinging bottom, I turned and hugged him back. Together we left the church and went inside the house.

Part Four

     As much as I wished that I didn't have to go back to my foster parents house, I had no choice. It took my social worker a few days to get things straight and things were tough because my foster parents were angry with me for loosing them money and they didn't let me out of their sight. I missed my soon to be new family and I couldn't wait to go be with them forever. When the final word came, I packed my things and left to my new home. When we arrived, William and Rebecca were waiting for me. I jumped out of the car and ran into their arms. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. They had alot of rules and I knew it was going to be hard for me to obey them all. Still I wasn't looking forward to any more trips across his knee for correction, so I figured I best work real hard at obeying.

After my first day in my new house and sharing my room with Ashley, we all loaded in the van and took a trip down the coast. We sang songs and played license plate tag. I made it one entire day and managed to stay out of trouble. The first week fell into place and I loved living with my new family. That morning as people arrived for church, a group of kids my age were standing across the street from the church. I knew a couple of them from my old foster home so I waved. A couple of them came running over.

"He Jenny, haven't seen you around in a while. Where ya been."

I been busy with my new family. We go on trips and well we do chores and that keeps me busy," I replied.

"You're sure dressed up. Going to church?

"Yup" I replied.

Well were going swimming down at the beach. Why don't you skip church today and come with us?"

"Sounds like fun, but I don't think I can." I replied

Sure you can. Just go change and come with us."

"I have to go to church. Daddy says so," I replied.

Well since when did you turn into a goody goody."

I'm not a goody goody," I screeched.

It's hot and we're going swimming. You can go sit in a old hot stuffy church if ya wanna," they turned and left me standing.

"Jenny," I turned and saw my father standing on the steps. "Everyone is inside and church is starting,"

I turned and walked inside the church. I took my spot in the front pew next to my mother, but as my father spoke, their voices rang through my heads. I loved my new family but I missed going where I wanted, when I wanted. Suddenly I heard my mother speaking. "It's time for sunday school Jenny," she said. I turned and saw Ashley motion for me to come with her. I turned and looked at my mother , then my father. I left the room and entered the hall that was full of children going to one room or another for sunday school. I hurried into my class. Sunday school was tough and I wasn't sure if I was into this reading and learning during my summer vacation. I couldn't help but think of all the fun my old friends were having on the beach. I don't know why but as the teacher spoke, I raised my hand.

"Yes Jenny,"

"Miss Cotton, May I be excused. I need to go to the bathroom.

"Yes Jenny you may. But hurry back so you don't miss to much of the lesson.

"Yes ma'am," I replied as I jumped up and left the room. I walked right past the bathroom, went out the back door of the church, ran into the house and up to my room.
I tore off my clothes and dug for a swimsuit. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and ran out the door to the beach.

I could hear my fathers voice echo through the walls of the church as I passed by. I felt a little guilty but when I looked across the street I could see my friends walking down the street that lead to the beach. With towel wrapped around me and feet bare, I quickly crossed the street. My guilt was overcome by joy as I tasted freedom once again. I ran to catch up to my friends and we headed to the beach just like old times.

"Jenny we sure have missed you," recited Freddy.

"I know, me too. But my new parents are very strict and we aren't allowed to run around.

"Well that's dumb," Melissa said.

"Well dumb or not, I have to be back by the time church is over or I'm in big trouble.

"What time is that? she asked.

"It won't be over for a while so I have enough time for a swim and then I should sneak back before I am discovered."

When we finally made it to the beach, I stood there in awe as if it were my first time seeing the ocean. We splashed in the surf anf played tag on the beach. We even practiced writing our names in the sand with sticks.

Jenny Lynn Milton was scrowled in the sand when Freddy came up and crossed it out.

"What are you doing!" I screeched. I watched as he replaced Milton with Myer.

"Isn't your last name Myer now?" he asked.

"Ohhhhh Noooo! I cried as I picked up my towel and headed for the road.

"Where are you going!" Melissa yelled.

I was to busy worrying about where I should have been to answer her. When I got to the crossing the church stood silent and there wasn't a car in sight. I crossed the street and took a seat on the steps of the church. I sat there wondering how I was going to get out of this mess in one piece. I wondered if my mother and father were disappointed in me and I wondered what they were going to say to me. The breeze was warm but I felt chilled wearing my wet swimsuit so I wrapped my towel around me. Maybe skipping church wasn't a good idea.

"Jenny?" I heard someone call. I looked up and coming down the sidewalk toward me was Daddy. Maybe it was just my imagination or my guilt, but he looked angry.

"I know this looks bad but I can explain" I cried.

I see you in a swimsuit covered in sand instead of a your Sunday clothes and I see a wet towel. That is explanation enough," he replied as he took hold of my arm and pulled me from the steps.

We entered the church and quickly walked down the hall. I figured by his grip, I was only seconds away from the tanning of my life so I wiggled and tried to get free. Daddy turned me around and gave me two sharp smacks right on my wet swimsuit

"Owww. I'm sorry," I cried as we started walking again down the long narrow hall, past Daddy's office and through the back door.

Still holding my arm, we entered the house, walked through the kitchen and into the dining room. We stopped at the end of the table.

"Jenny, look at me!" he scolded.

With quivering lips, I slowly looked up until I got to Daddy's face.

"Jenny, when church started this morning I know you were seated in the pew next to your mother. I know you left for your sunday school class when I dismissed you, but what I don't remember is giving you permission to leave church and go swimming in the ocean. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"It was hot?" I replied. Suddenly I realized that was a mistake.

"Jenny! If you....." Suddenly he stopped. He placed his hands on his hips and took a deep breathe. "I think it is time for you to learn what happens when you are
disobedient." he stated.

I watched Daddy turn and pull what looked like a stick from a little holder on the wall. My eyes got big when it hit me. I was in for worse than a spanking. I was going to get the switch. "Lets go to your room." he ordered. I turned and walked as fast as I could through the house and up the stairs. I thought my fast pace had put me several feet ahead but as soon as I entered my room I turned and faced the door. Daddy and my mother were both right behind me.

I looked all around my room hoping I would be swallowed up by something. Anything. I didn't want Daddy to give me a switching. I watched my mother take a night shirt from my top drawer and as she was putting it over top of my head, I knew god wasn't going to help me. I had disobeyed my new parents. The parents that had given me a new home. The first home where I had truly felt safe and loved. I knew God was going to make sure I got just what I deserved. My arms weren't through the holes in the shirt yet. Mother reached under and pulled down the straps of my swimsuit. she continued pulling until it fell to the floor. She picked it up and walked away. I had forgotten about Daddy until he took me by the scruff of my neck and led me to the end of my bed. I looked over my right shoulder to see if he was still holding that awful looking stick. He was!

"Jenny, Bend over your bed!" he ordered.

I turned away from him and looked at the end of my bed. I couldn't believe It! I was going to get the switching of my life and I couldn't even think of any words to say. I kept repeating over and over in my mind that I was the dumbest kid on earth. I felt his hand tighten on the back of my neck as he put me over the end of my bed. The top cover felt cool on my face and it made it hard to believe what a hot day it was outside. However hot, it wasn't near as hot as my bottom was about to become.

"Stay over your bed Jenny," he ordered. I then felt him lift the tail end of my shirt up and drop it onto the small of my back. I don't know where it came from or why, but a tiny whimper escaped me.

From the corner of my eye I saw the stick whip through the air. I closed my eyes tight and when the switch struck me I jumped. I squeezed the covers tight as another lick of the switch landed. I couldn't keep my feet still and after the second and third wack, I wiggled my bottom all around hoping to ease the pain. As with the first stinging smack, I closed my eyes and dug my nails into the covers. The first three came quick, but then there were no more. I cried but stayed where I was, waiting for permission to get up. Suddenly I heard the switch sail through the air and once again strike my bottom. A new wail escaped and I wiggled again. Then silence. I kept saying over and over again in my head that I would be the best child from now on. Then the sound came again. Swoosh, through the air it came, stopping when it made contact on my bottom. I couldn't stop my continueous cries. So far five stinging smacks had done its job and I didn't know how many more Daddy was going to give. Daddy was in control and the only way to stop it was to behave forever more.

I had cried for several minutes when I realized that no more licks were coming. I still hadn't heard Daddy tell me that I could get up, so I stayed put until my cries had diminished to sobs. I felt someone tugging at my arm and I slowly rose from my bed.
Daddy led me to a chair in my room. He took a seat and pulled me between his knees. All I could think was that I was about to take a trip across his knee, but then he put his arms around me. I collapsed into his arms and started to cry all over again. This time not because of my stinging bottom, but because I loved them and I felt bad for disobeying the rules. My Father spoke softly with a short lecture of my naughtiness. After Daddy left the room, my mother stayed and comforted me a little longer.

Nothing more was said about my skipping church or the lickin I got that day. Ashley nor Brittney asked me about it. I thought that at one time or another, all of them had probably taken a trip across the end of the bed to receive similar switchings. I know I never would again.

Part Five

     The next few days I steped into line. I wore dresses most of the time like my mother asked. I sat next to Daddy at the table like I was told. I kept my side of the room picked up and I help Mother without being asked or told to do so. Daddy was being very strict on me by giving me things to do to keep me busy and not give me the chance to sneak off. Every evening after supper, we had bible study and family time. I loved both of them and I wanted to be the good child but this was difficult. I wanted to hang out with friends at the corner store and stay out and play when it got dark instead of going to bed. Daddy caught me standing at the end of the sidewalk looking toward town while we were cleaning up the yard. He called to me, then led me into the chappel, handed me a childrens bible and told me to read until I was given permission to return to my chores. That night after supper, bible time and some family time, Daddy dismissed everyone, except me. I thought I was in more trouble for wanting to run free. As I stayed seated on the sofa, My mother took a seat next to me. Then Daddy got up and sat on the other side of me. They both wrapped their arms around me and my fears subsided.

"You know how our days can be very busy with chores and daily life," Mother spoke softly. "Daddy and I have talked a bit and we have decided each evening we should spend a few extra minutes with you. We think it might help you to understand just what it is that we want for you in your life. We think it will help you to understand why obedience is important," she continued.

"Your mother and I love you very much and we only want what is best for you," my father said.

I looked at each one of them and I could tell that they did love me very much. I really did want to behave. I just didn't trust myself to do so sometimes.

My father reached over and picked up his bible. I sat quietly as he read from it. An inner peace folded itself around me. Having both of them sit and hold me so close and having Daddy read to me made me feel as if I just might be able to behave after all.

" I'm sorry that I've been so much trouble. I do love you and I really do want to behave. Just sometimes I can't help it. I just do bad things. I've tried to get used to minding and not breaking the rules."

"You have done very well this past week," my father answered. It is going to be rough at first but in no time you will not find these rules and what we expect from you to be so difficult. Until that time comes, when you break the rules or show disrespect, Correction will be administered.

"He didn't have to be any more clear on that one. I knew exactly what Daddy meant. My days of receiving spankings weren't over like I had hoped. I don't know why but I started crying. Daddy wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. As I held onto Mothers hands, Daddy started to pray for me. He prayed that I might accept God in my heart and accept the guidance that God had provided for me. That the sting of correction may provide me with the self control that I needed in order to obey. I then heard them say Amen and as Daddy wiped my tears, I said "Amen" too. I was beginning to understand what they were trying to tell me. Daddy hugged me one last time as Mother took my hand and led me upstairs. We stopped in the bathroom where I brushed my teeth and washed my face. Mother then took me to my room and started rummaging through my drawers for some night clothes.

"It's just 8 p.m. Mother. Are you sending me to bed?" I asked.

"Yes Jenny it is bedtime," she replied.

"But I don't really want...... Mommy looked at me and I realized that after all we went through downstairs, I had best obey her because Daddy would be none to happy with me if some of that correction had to be administered so quickly.

"We have church tomorrow and you worked very hard today. I can tell that you are tired even if you don't think so. It is important that you understand we know what is best and trust us to make decisions for you Jenny," she said as she helped me into my pajamas. She then picked up the hairbrush from my dresser and combed my hair until it was softer than I had even known it could be. She tucked me in and sat beside me on the bed.

"School starts in one week so 8 p.m. is now your new bedtime." she stated.

I opened my mouth to object but Ashley came into the room and jumped into bed. Even she knew it was time for bed.

Mother kissed me on the forehead then gave Ashley hugs before turning out the light.

"I don't want to go to bed this early," I replied. It's still light outside."

"We don't have to go to sleep right away but this is the time that Mom and Dad spend together before they turn in. We can talk quietly, but if Daddy comes up and tells us to be quiet, that is the only time we will get told. " Ashley said.

We whispered things and she asked me about some of my adventures of freedom. She giggled at some of my stories. My telling her wasn't helping me to forget or helping me to want to be obedient. It made me want to run with the wind. My thoughts of running along the beach on a breezy day stayed with me until I drifted off to sleep.

part 6

     The next morning we were up before most people. Showered and dressed for church. We helped Mom with breakfast while Jonathan and Daddy were doing things to get the church ready. The table in our dining room had eight chairs around it. Mom and Dad sat on each end but we could usually set any place at the table we wanted to. It seemed until Daddy felt like it, I would remain in the chair just to the right of him. I wouldn't have minded sitting there if I had chosen to myself, but I knew why I was there. I didn't want to ask but I felt since we had such a long talk the night before, it would be ok to try another place in which to sit. We finished putting breakfast on the table when Daddy and my brother walked into the house. Mom sat the bread on the table and took her seat. as we all sort of headed toward the table, I walked around to the other side and took the chair next to Jonathan. He sat in the chair on the left side of Daddy but way down by Mom. Angela took the seat next to me. Ashley and Brittney sat on the other side leaving an empty chair next to Daddy.

When he walked around, he stopped just before he got to his chair. he turned and looked at me but I didn't move. He walked to the empty chair and pulled it out, then looked at me again. Feeling defeated, I stood up, walked around the table and sat down in my assigned chair. Daddy smiled at me, then we prayed. Church was hot and I couldn't wait for sunday school to start. The hardest thing was having to face my sunday school teacher. Daddy said I had to appologize to her for the fib I told and for sneaking out of her class. I didn't think she liked me because all through her lessons, she kept giving me a look of disapproval. When the sunday school bell rang and she dismissed us to go and join our parents, I lagged behind. I really wanted to scurry out with everyone else, but I figured if Daddy were to check, then he would know I hadn't obeyed him.

"Miss Cotton?" I called.

"Yes Jenny," she said.

I slowly walked to her desk and stood in front of it. I swallowed the lump that had settled in my throat. I... I wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for missing class last Sunday.

"Well Jenny. I must admit I was a bit surprised when you didn't return. I sent a note with a student into your mothers class to tell her that you hadn't returned. They were very worried.

"Im really sorry I skipped out." I answered as I looked down.

"Do you not like my sunday school class?" she asked.

"Ohhh nooo. It's not that!" I exclaimed. "I just didn't feel like sitting in church."

"Well young lady! we all have to do things that are sometimes unpleasant. I'm disappointed that you feel sunday school is unpleasant.

"I don't think it is unpleasant. I just.... Ohhh I am just sorry I skipped Miss Cotton. Will you forgive me?" I asked.

"Jenny child. Where did you go that was more important than church?" she asked.

I stood and stared at her for a second. How did I tell her I thought the beach was better for Sunday's than church. "No place is more important than church Miss Cotton.

"Well young lady, I know your parents and Knowing the Reverend, I'm sure your were punished." she said sternly.

"Yes ma'am. Daddy took a switch to me," I replied as I looked at the floor. I didn't want to tell her but Daddy had told me I had to let her know I had been punished.

"Well I am not one to judge how the Reverend of the church punishes but I am glad to see all is well and that you are back in church.? She said. "We will consider this matter closed then. Shall we go join the ending of church?"

"Yes ma'am," I replied. She took hold of my hand and we walked out together. I sat next to her for the last 15 minutes of church. Daddy smiled at me for he knew I had done what I had been told.

After everyone left, Jonathan Ashley and I helped Daddy put things away, vaccum and close the church up until services on Wednesday nights. Mother, Angela and Brittney were fixing lunch. Around 2, daddy came outside and announced we were going to the beach. I was probably the most happy of all of us. We stayed until the sun started to go down. After all our baths, we dressed in our pj's and gathered in the living room downstairs. Our parents sat in two chairs next to each other. We all sat together on the floor and listened to Daddy read from a bedtime book. He had read two stories when Jonathan and Brittney started yawning.

"Well Mom, seems we have some sleepy kids. Guess that is what we get for keeping them past bed time. We all knew that was Daddys way of telling us to scoot to bed. We all stood and gave out parents hugs and kisses before leaving the room. As I started to leave, Daddy called me. "Jenny, please come back.

Brittany and Ashley looked back at me, then turned and kept walking. I turned back and walked toward my father. I knew I hadn't done anything real wrong, but sometimes it was hard for me to tell since their rules and way of life was so much different than what I was used to.

"Yes sir," I said.

"Today was a good day. Thank you for being so well behaved today. Thank you for obeying me and your mother. I talked to Miss Cotton and she said you were very well behaved in class today and that you confessed to last Sunday.

I just nodded because I didn't know what to say.

"Tonight we don't have time to spend like we did last night. It is past nine. Your mother and I should not have kept you all up so late.

"It's ok. I'm not tired," I replied.

Well tonight I want you to go right to sleep. No talking like last night, understand!

"I cringed a little when he said that. I didn't think he knew we had. "Yes sir. Right to sleep.

Jenny. When you wake tomorrow I won't be here. I have to get up early because I have things I have to do before school starts. You behave and give your mother no trouble. She is taking you to get you registered for school and to get you the required uniforms for school.

"Uniforms?" I said surprised.

"Yes. You will go to the christian school a few blocks down the street. Your mother has to take the five of you to get shoes and other things. You do need more things than your brother and sisters. It isn't easy getting five ready for school so you help out by obeying your mother while I am gone.

"Church school? and Uniforms?" I asked.

"Jenny it's private school and yes you do have church there, but it is just like regular school. You wear uniforms so all are alike and you can consentrate on schooling and not who has nice and not nice clothes," he explained.

"I remembered my last school and how I was teased and picked on because my things were old. "Hmm I think it will be ok I guess so long as I don't get picked on.

Daddy smiled and laughed." No one is going to pick on you," he replied. "Now go with your mother and she will tuck you in to bed."

"I can get to bed myself," I said softly. Mother had hold of my hand and we had gone just a little away from Daddy. He walked over to me and stood looking down. He looked so tall to me. I felt about five years old.

"I know you can Jenny, but until your mother and I feel you have earned the privilege, she will be taking you to bed and tucking you in."

"But I.... Daddy took his hand and placed it on my lips to gesture me silent. Then he lifted my chin.

"I explained this to you last night Jenny. Between your mother and me, you will be supervised most all the time until we are sure you understand obedience. The best way to learn obedience is to be taught. The way to teach you is to show you the way you muct behave. That is why we keep you close. That is why you sit next to me during all meals and that is why your mother puts you to bed.

"But Daddy,".......

Jennifer! It isn't for you to question the decisions we make for you and if you continue to do so at this moment, correction will be administered. Now you go with your mother!" he scolded.

His reasons didn't make sense to me. I was confused, but I knew what he meant with the correction word so when my mother moved, I followed her upstairs. She took me into the bathroom and brushed my hair, then placed me in my bed and covered me up.
I could tell that Ashley was already asleep. I felt angry because Daddy was being to harsh with me. So angry that for the first time since I had come there, I actually cried from being sad. I didn't want to be taken to my room and placed into bed. I didn't want to sit next to Daddy for all my meals. Daddy called it willful disobedience. He said it was a bad thing but I didn't feel it was all bad and right now I didn't want to do anything he told me. I wanted to be outside running around with all the kids in the neighborhood having fun instead of going to church. All the other places I had lived in came flooding through. I knew deep down this is where I belonged but I wanted more freedom. What was I ever going to do.

Part seven

     The next morning when I went down to breakfast the anger bug was still with me. When I sat in my place next to Daddy's seat, I remembered he was gone. It seemed nice to not be under the watchful eye of Daddy for a change. I ate my breakfast and while everyone was helping clean up, I snuck upstairs and changed into a shirt and shorts.

"Jenny lets go," my mother yelled from downstairs. I ran down the stairs and joined everyone at the door.

"Jenny, go put your sundress back on," she said in a voice of exasperation.

"I want to wear these," I said firmly.

Mother was gathering things she needed and looked a bit frazzled already as she
spoke. "We are going to the school to register you and you want them to get a good impression. Now go upstairs and change,"

"It's hot and I want to wear this," I replied.

She stopped searching through papers and handed them to my older sister Angela. She reached out and grabbed me by the arm, turned me around and took me to the stairs. "You go up to your room and put that dress back on this minute young lady!" she scolded as she smacked me right on the seat of my shorts. "Now!" I grabbed the railing and stomped up the stairs. The smack didn't hurt one bit. I felt it, but it didn't hurt. I stood in my room and stared at the dress. I don't know why I felt like being defiant, but I really wanted to wear my shorts today and I didn't understand why I couldn't do so.
Suddenly I heard my door open. I turned just in time to see my mother coming through the door.

"Jenny it's nearly ten and we are to be there at ten. Everyone is in the car waiting and we can't wait any longer. You can explain to your father tonight about you behavior," she scolded as she took my arm and we left. I sat in the car in my shirt and jean shorts. This battle I had won, but I knew the price I would now pay. I thought about this for the ten blocks it took to get to the school. If I was going to be paying a price tonight, then I best make it worth it.

When we got to the school, there were other kids outside in groups and there were some children inside as well. There were moms and some dads all around. We sat in the gym for a short discussion about some new rules, which I didn't listen to, then We walked down the halls. Everyone found the rooms that they would be in this year. The school had a small population so each class room had two grades in it. Angela was going into grade 6 and was in the 5/6 classroom. She was happy that she was in with the older group. Brittney was going into grade one. Jonathan was in grade three. Ashley and I were in grade four. We were in the same class and so was Jonathan. Mother took them all to their classes so they could visit with their classmates and get re acquainted with their teachers. Mother took me to the office with her so she could fill out papers. I was introduced to the principal. He seemd to be happy to see me and he seemd nice as well. He asked me some questions which I didn't mind answering since he seemed nice.

Mother finished the papers, then we went down the hall to collect everyone. We piled back into the car, but she didn't say much to me or ask me if I like it or not. We drove out of town to a nearby town that I hadn't seen before. There were alot of stores lining the street. Mother parked in front of the Penney store and we went in. We walked around to the girls section. We walked right past all the neat looking stuff over to a corner in the back. There were three racks of navy blue jumpers, white blouses. and navy blue sweaters. I don't know why but they all seemed happy to see this stuff. I didn't like it much and I didn't even want to look at them. Angela picked out 3 navy skirts, two short sleeved blouces and a long sleeved one and headed to the dressing room. Ashley and Brittney both took a couple jumpers and some blouces. Mother took some navy blue pants off the hanger for Jonathan and handed him a white shirt and navy blue tie and they all headed for the dressing room.

"Jenny. You need to try them on so we know they fit," she said.

"This stuff is ugly," I replied.

Mother looked displeased as she rummaged through the rack of navy blue jumpers and blouses. "Young lady, you take these in there and you try them on and if I hear one more word from you I'm going to take you into a dressing room and put you over my knee," she scolded.

I took the dresses from her and headed into the dressing room. I stood there staring at the uniform. It didn't look so bad but I didn't want to put it on.

Jenny are you changed yet?" she asked me through the door.

"It fits fine," I answered.

"Well open the door child so I can see," she said happily.

"I already took it off," I said.

"Young lady! I suggest you try that uniform on right now. You have disobeyed me enough today and you are already in trouble. Now get changed.

I slipped off my shirt and took off my shorts. I reluctantly slipped into the short sleeved blouse and crawled into the jumper. Then I opened the door and mother slid into the dressing room. She turned me toward her and straightened me up a bit. "You look very nice in this. We will get you a couple more as well as one of the navey blue sweaters. We need to get you some white tights and some shoes.," she said

"Tights? I hate tights?" I said.

"Take this off and put your things back on," she scolded. I took off the jumper and the blouse and handed them to her. I picked up my shirt and fumbled with it to turn it right side out as my mother hung the jumper and blouse on the hangers. I reached over to pick up my shorts when suddenly I felt my mother grip my arm and pull me around.
I felt her hand smack my bare leg with her open hand.

"Owww," I yelped.

"When we get home young lady, you go straight to your room and you stay there. Do you understand?" she asked.

She angered me and instead of answering her, I yanked away from her and folded my arms across my chest.

"Jenny, what has gotten into you today," she asked. Such willful disobedience must not be tollerated."

Suddenly I felt myself being up ended. Before I could blink my eye, I was over mothers knee. "Nooo Mother no! I cried as I felt another smack on my bare leg. I wiggled and flailed around and as much as she tried, she couldn't land another spank. Finally exhausted from trying, she let me go and I landed on the floor. She reached over, picked up my shorts and held them out. I stood up, held onto her and stepped in. She pulled them up and buttoned them.

"I am sorry that you found it necessary to be such a disobedient child today when your father specifically told you to be on your best behavoir. I am terribly disappointed," she said. I suddenly felt bad for behaving. She looked really hurt. When we walked out of the dressing room, Angela, Ashley, Brittany and Jonathan were standing there. They looked in shock and I suddenly began to feel the magnitude of my crime. Daddy was going to be angry beyond angry and my bottom was going to burn for eternity.

I stood quiet as mother paid for our uniforms and I sat still as she tried shoes on my feet. On the way home the car sat silent and as soon as we pulled into the driveway, I went straight to my room and threw myself onto my bed. I felt like being naughty, but I couldn't believe I hurt her so. After lunch, Ashley came up and put our new things away.

Ashley, is mother really mad," I asked.

"Jenny, mother says that you are being punished and that I'm not to speak to you. I'm sorry," she said.

"Please?" I cried.

"You made momma cry. She loves you. how could you talk to her like that Jenny?"

"Im sorry," I said.

Ashley looked at me and then left the room. I sat on my bed and cried for a while, then I heard kids outside laughing so I got up and looked out the window. All my sisters and my brother were outside playing in the back yard. I wished I could be out there with them, but I was to embarrased and I was afraid I'd run into mother. I thought about Daddy and what he was going to say to me. I tried in every way possible to figure out why I had acted the way I had, but I just couldn't think of an excuse good enough to keep Daddy from switching me when he got home.

I heard a knock at my door and then it started to open. I sat up and grabbed the small round pillow from my bed. Angela peeked her head around. "Supper is ready and Mom says that you are to come down and eat," she said as she poped back out.

"Angela?" I called.

"Yes?"

"How is Momma?" I asked.

"She is hurt Jenny. You made her cry," she replied.

"Daddy's not home yet is he?" I asked knowing that if he had been, I surely would have seen him by now.

"He called a little while ago saying he was going to be home right around supper, so he should be here soon."

"Ohh,"

"Ohh and so you know, Momma told Daddy already about what you did and she cried some more," she said as she left the room.

I got up and went down the hall to the bathroom. I washed my hands and face, then headed toward the stairs. When I got to the edge, I heard Daddy's voice. He had just come in and was talking to mother. They were in their room talking quietly. I went downstairs as fast as I could and took a seat where I knew I was suppose to sit. I looked around at my brother and sisters. Brittney seemed to be the only one who didn't look like my life was about to be over. Then My mother walked past and took her seat at the table. I turned a little and caught my father sitting. He looked at me but said nothing. We clutched each others hands and Daddy prayed over supper like he always did.

Mother and Daddy talked across to each other but we all mostly stayed quiet. I hardly ate anything because my tummy was having a problem and I didn't want to get sick just yet. When supper was over, Daddy told us to clean up. He and Mother went for a walk. I helped clean up, then took Brittney upstairs and helped her get into pajamas. Finally I braved going to my room and I changed with the speed of light. I again listened, but didn't hear either of my parents, so I hurried downstairs. We all congrated in the living room with a book. We all sat together through out the room, but no one spoke. Finally we all heard the front door open and close. Our parents entered the room. I put my hand in my book to keep its place as I watched my mother take a seat on the sofa. Daddy walked over, picked up Brittany, hugged her and then sat her on my mothers lap. He reached over and pulled me from the sofa. My book fell to the floor. He led me across the living room and put me into the corner. Then he took my hands and placed them behing my back. He never spoke, but I knew he meant for me to keep them there. I heard him talking about mindful children and what it means to obey ones parents. I listened to my brother and sisters answer him with diligence. I listened to Daddy read three bedtime stories and when the clock on the wall chimed eight time, Daddy told everyone it was time for bed. I knew without looking, hugs were being given and so were kisses. I knew I didn't deserve them, but I longed for them anyway. I heard Angela offer to tuck Brittany in for mother. I heard footsteps on the stair and I heard the closing of bedroom doors. The room fell silent and I began to wonder if I was alone. I knew better than to turn and look, for if Daddy were still in the room, it would only add to the list of my indiscretions. I could hear the clock ticking on the wall behind me and I wondered how long I had stood there. Suddenly it chimed one time. I now knew it was 8:30. When the echo of the chime disappeared, Daddy called my name.

"Jenny," come here!

His voice was calm but firm in tone and it frightened me. I turned from my corner of punishment and approached. Mother was not sitting with him and the only light in the room was from a lamp just to the left of where Daddy was seated. Daddy pulled the ottomon close and patted it with his hand. I sat down without a word of defiance. I swollowed hard, then looked into my fathers eyes.

Jenny, Do you love your mother?"

"Yes," I reply, a bit puzzled by such a question.

"You love her, yet you defy her without question or remorse while doing so." He pauses then continues. Are you remorseful now?" he asked. "Do you feel badly for treating her with such disrespect?

"I'm ashamed," I reply as I hang my head.

"And where is this shame that you feel right now?" he asks as he lifts my chin to face him again.

"Right here," I reply as I point to my heart.

"When shame is that strong, how do you suppose you get rid of it?" he asks.

"I don't know," I reply

"You rid it, by never letting it happen. You are obedient to God and to your parents. By showing respect to us, your siblings and to all around you. In return others will respect you and treat you with kindness. Today you showed your mother no kindness. Only hurt. You have to make it right with her Jenny. I cannot fix that for you."

"I'm sorry Daddy," I cry.

"I asked you today to please be good. I told you what things your mother needed and I asked that you behave. Not only did you misbehave, but you went out of your way to be naughty. You hurt your mother with your words and your disrespect.

Before I could speak again, Daddy stood. I followed him with my eyes. I watched as he unbucked his belt. Tears welled in my eyes and I so wanted to take this entire day back. I knew I couldn't. I started to whimper as I watched him pull it free and double it. Everything seemed in slow motion as Daddy seated himself and laid the doubled belt on the sofa. I had never felt such an ovewhelming fear in all of my ten years of life as I did right now. I felt Daddy take my arm, stand me up and then pull me across his knee. I started crying more heavily knowing the punishment I was about to receive. Daddy secured me tight, then I felt my pajama bottoms being removed then he secured my legs.

"Daddyyyyyyyy," I wailed. But he didn't answer. I guess he'd said all he had to say. I heard the clanging of the buckle as he picked up the belt, Then I felt a searing pain over my entire backside. I felt the stinging pain of my fathers belt land over and over, but all I could do was screech and wail. I knew I deserved what I was getting but in the hours before, my torture was much worse, knowing I had hurt her and made her cry. Daddy was right. I was the one to have to fix it, but for this moment Daddy was making it right with myself, himself and God.