I could feel the sunshine on my face as it peeked through the window of my bedroom. As I slowly woke, I wondered if I had dreamed everything but when I turned and moved my legs, the stinging pain in my bottom made itself known. It hadn't been a dream at all. I cringed as I removed my covers, crawled from my bed and headed to the bathroom. I wondered how I got to my bed, then I remembered Daddy had spanked me, carried me to my room and placed me in my bed. I remembered lying there twisting, turning and sobbing as if my life were over. It was now morning. I had lived but I felt overly sad. I still had to face Mother at breakfast and I had to in my own way, tell her how sorry I was. When I returned to my room, Ashley was in getting dressed in a swimsuit.
"Hi Jenny, she said softly and with concerned face. " You slept through breakfast but Mom saved you some. "Are you ok?" she asked.
Tears welled in my eyes and ran down my cheeks as I stood there staring at her. I felt numb to everything around me.
Ashley wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tight. "You cried for a long time last night. Do you remember my lying with you?"
I shook my head no.
"Daddy really let you have it and you cried forever, so I came and laid with you until you fell asleep," she said.
"Thank you," I whispered. "Where's mom at?"
"She is getting things together. she is taking us to the beach today, but Jenny you can't go with us,"
"I can't go?" I asked.
"No, Momma said it would be ok, but Daddy said no. You're still being punished," she said sadly.
We both turned as the door opened. Angela, my oldest sister came walking in. "Ashley, Momma needs you for a few minutes," she said.
Angela, can I talk to you?" I asked as she started to leave with Ashley.
"Sure," she replied.
Ashley left and Angela took me by the hand and led me to my bed. "
"How is Momma this morning."
She is ok Jenny, but you need to tell her you're sorry."
"I am sorry but I don't know how to tell her I am."
"You tell her you're sorry and you need to show her by being good and minding what she says.
"Do you think she would let me go to the beach if I said I was sorry?" I asked.
Angela stood there and starred at me. "Sit down for a minute and let me explain something to you about Mom and Dad and the trouble you're in. The more you do wrong, the less fun and freedom you get to have, that is why we obey what they say. We do it cause we love them and because we want them to trust us. Mom and Dad want us to have great lives and they feel they have to teach us what that is by their guidance. Do you understand?"
"I don't know. I do some, but I don't know."
"Jenny I'm their oldest child and when I was younger, they didn't know all about parenting. I was a little wild and finally they figured it out. My life was tough when I was a little younger than you. Momma and Daddy had to be real strict with me so I know how you feel. I'm telling you that you have to learn to understand and behave or you won't have any freedom. Mother will put you to bed forever and you will be sitting next to Daddy under his watchful eye forever. I know you got an awful whipping last night and I know how much Daddy's belt stings because...."
"You do?" I asked in surprise.
"Yes I do. Daddy don't use his belt very often. It is saved for very very serious infractions. Daddy has whipped me with it once last year when I did something very bad. Then I was under strict supervision for a while."
Suddenly we heard a light knock and the door opened. Daddy was standing in the doorway. "Angela?" he called. She looked at me, then followed Daddy from the room. A minute later she returned with my breakfast.
"Daddy says to eat and then I'm to sit with you while you take a bath, then I'm to help you get dressed. Momma is making our lunch and tending to Brittany or else she would be doing it."
"I want you to, I can't look at Momma just yet.
I ate my breakfast, then took a cool shower while Angela sat on the toilet seat and waited. She wrapped a towel around me and we headed for my room. I dried carefully because my bottom still hurt and I didn't want the towel to touch it. Angela was digging through my closet and I was looking for undies and shorts in my drawer.
"Jenny, I'm sorry but you can't wear those today," she said as I started putting the shorts on.
"Why?" I asked.
"Jenny I want you to stay out of trouble so I'm going to tell you something but you can't tell Daddy I told you." she said.
I nodded.
"Daddy has plans for you today so just obey what he says and try really hard. If you show any disobedience today you will get the strap again before bed tonight. Daddy is going to work with you on obedience, so you have to really try hard to obey.
I started crying again and Angela hugged me tight. "What do I have to do?" I asked.
"I don't know. Daddy told me to put you in your school uniform," she replied as she pulled it from the closet.
She helped me into my blouse, jumper, tights and shoes. Then she braided my hair and wrapped a ribbon around the bottom. She hugged me, then together we went out the door and down the stairs. Daddy was coming in the front door as we entered the hall.
"Angela, your mother is ready to go," he said as he hugged her. "Have fun and mind your mother."
"Yes sir," she yelled as she ran out the door.
Daddy walked past me as if I wasn't even there. I remembered what Angela had said so I didn't move. Daddy left me standing there for several minutes before returning.
"Jenny, follow me please," he said.
I followed him through the kitchen, out the back door and into the church. We walked down the hall and into the chappel. Daddy walked to the front pew and stopped. I followed right behind him without saying a word.
"Sit down," he ordered. I sat slowly because the hard oak benches hurt my bottom. "This will be where you sit until I return for you. Here is your bible. I want you to looke up the passages that are written on this paper and memorize them. When I return, you can tell them to me and what you think they mean." He sat the bible in my lap and pointed. "Bow your head," he ordered as he laid his hand on my head. Daddy said a quick prayer asking the Lord to show me stillness and obedience so that I might avoid the rod of discipline. I prayed for that too.
I looked up each verse that Daddy had written down and read them, then closed my eyes and said them to myself. I honestly worked hard to try to get them all memorized. I remembered what Angela said about another whipping if I showed disobedience and I didn't want Daddy to think I was being naughty if I didn't have them memorized. My bottom was throbbing and I wanted to stand up but I sat in the pew and didn't move from where I had been placed.
"Jenny," I heard his voice call as I studied my bible with diligence. Daddy called me to come with him, so I stood up, placed my bible on the pew and made my way toward him. I still hadn't spoken a word. I followed Daddy into his office. There on a plate waiting for me was a sandwich and some chips. I ate without speaking and when I was done, I stood waiting quietly until he spoke to me.
"Are you done with your lunch now?" he asked.
"Yes Sir,"
"Then you may go use the rest room. Come right back here."
I turned and left Daddy's office. When I came from the bathroom, Daddy was outside the door waiting for me. Daddy didn't speak. I just knew to follow him. We went back into the chappel and I followed him the the first pew. Daddy sat in my spot, moved me in front of him and then picked up my bible.
"Proverbs 13:24, my father says.
"He who spares the rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly." I recite with hands behind my back.
"Proverbs 19:18" He says.
"Chasten you son while there is hope, And to do not set your heart on his destruction." I continue.
"Proverbs 22:15," he asks.
I stand and look at him. I am thinking but they are all jumbled together in my mind. My father looks up from the bible.
"Jenny? Foolishness is?
I suddenly remember."Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him." I reply.
"Good girl," he replies.
"Next one Jenny. Proverbs 23:13-14,"
"Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell." I recite with a whisper.
"Proverbs 29:15, Jenny."
"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
"Last one Jenny. Ephesians 6:1
"Children obey your parents in the lord for this is right." I recite. I stand there and watch as my father folds the paper and puts it into my Bible. He then lays it on the bench and stands.
"Follow me Jenny," he orders. I follow him up the three small steps onto the stage. He takes me and stands me next to the pulpit, then he moves the piano bench to the center of the stage just below the large cross that hangs on the wall. He turns, walks to me, takes hold of my arm and leads me to the bench. He tugs on my arm and I kneel to the floor. He places my elbows on the bench and he clasps my hands together.
"Close your eyes and recite the scripture that you memorized. Continue until I give you permission to stop," he orders. "Start with Ephsians 6:1 Children obey your parents,"
I recited that scripture so many times I lost count. Then Daddy started me on another that I had memorized. I stayed in the position for two hours and recited scripture at the hands of my fathers instructions. I was so happy when he instructed me to stand.
"Jenny take a seat back on the bench," he ordered. "Now I want you to sit here and think about the lessons you have learned today and think about obedience. Fold your hands together and sit them on your lap." he ordered as he stood over me. I sat completely still even after he left the room. Tears ran down my cheeks. I had been as obedient as I could, but I feared it wasn't enough to keep me from getting another whipping. I thought about the verses I had memorized and though I knew it was important to Daddy, I didn't know if I believed it. The clock on the wall struck 4 and Daddy returned. I had sat silent and un moved for two hours. That is alot for a ten your old to do with a bottom that still hurt like mine did.
"Jenny, I'm very proud of you today," my father said. I still have a couple things for you to do. Before the day is over, you need to make amends with your mother and I also want you to take this paper, write down the scripture you memorized and I want you to write down what you think it means," he ordered as he handed me the paper and a pencil. "You may do so at your sunday school desk,"
I took the paper and pencil and I headed out of the sanctuary. I sat at my desk and wrote down each scripture. Below it i wrote what I thought it meant. When I was done, I took it to my fathers office and handed it to him.
"Stand before me while I look," he said.
I watched as he read my work. "I see that you do understand what you have written."
"Yes sir," I replied.
"Is the punishment you received last night still with you?
"Yes sir," I replied.
Then I don't expect I will have to punish you for such behavior again?" he asked as he raised his brows.
"No sir. I know how to behave." I replied.
Daddy put things in the church away and locked up. Together we went into the house. Everyone was back from the beach and Mother was in the kitchen making supper. When I walked past her I felt bad again. Daddy told me to go to my room and change into something else. Boy was I happy to get out of that dress. I put on jamies and no one said anything about me sitting at the table that way. I helped clean up and while Daddy was looking for a book and everyone was up stairs getting on jamies, Mom was getting apples for us for a snack.
"Mother?" I called as I stood in the entry of the kitchen.
"Yes Jenny," she said.
"I'm sorry I treated you so badly yesterday and I'm sorry for everything I did."
She smiled and hugged me. "Dady said you handled your lessons very well today Jenny. I believe you are sorry and I hope that you never behave that way again."
I hoped so too.
When Daddy called, we all ran into the front room and gathered on the floor. He read to us like he always does and then we all scrambled up to bed. Mother was standing outside the bathroom door when I came out. A twinge of anger struck me. I didn't want to be put to bed, but I didn't say anything. She took me by the hand and lead me back down the stairs. I wanted to ask her where we were going but I kept silent. We entered the living room and Daddy was still sitting on the sofa. She took my hand and gave it to my father as she took a seat beside him. Daddy took me by the arms and as he tugged, he told me to kneel. I let my knees fall to the floor.
"Clasp your hands together like I showed you and bow your head," he ordered.
I put my hands together and I rested my forhead on them like I had been shown. Daddy and Mommy both placed their hands on me. They were silent for several minutes. I kept still I knew they were praying.
Finally Daddy spoke. "Jenny I'm going to guide you through a prayer that I want you to say every night before bed and when ever you feel like straying from obedience." he said. "repeat what I say."
"Lord watch over me and keep me within the guidelines of your instruction," Daddy said.
"I repeated.
"Help me to follow the commandments of your word," he continued.
I followed.
"Help me to stay obedient to you and to my parents," Daddy continued.
I repeated.
In my weakness to stay obedient, I will accept the rod of discipline so that I may return
to your guidance and your instruction," he continued.
I started to cry but I saidwhat I was told to say.
"Amen," My parents said together.
I repeated.
Daddy stood me up and wiped my tears. I know this is difficult for you, but you will see this is right and that it's for your own good," he said as he hugged me. He gave my hand to my mother and she led me upstairs and pulled back my covers. I crawled in and she covered me up. After she turned out the light and left the room, I cried myself to sleep.