spelling

Our poor little Mandy is laying on her bed. As we can see she looks as though she has been crying. Why don’t we drop in on her and found out what happened?

Sniff! Sniff! You just wouldn’t believe what happened! We better be real quiet though because Mommy is still not happy with me. It all started last night when I was studying for a spelling bee. We have them a lot and usually I win. I am so smart in spelling! Well, at least I was till that new kid came to our class. Her name is Angelica. Isn’t that the stupidest name you ever heard? She thinks she is so “all that” too! She ain’t nothing but a weirdo in a dress! Boy! I bet I could punch her lights out in two seconds if I wanted to! I was going to but I decided I don’t like the principles office that much. Anyway I want to tell you my side of the story.

     On the last Thursday of each month we have to study all the spelling words we learned for that month. There’s about sixty of them too! I know! I know! It’s a lot but I am very smart so it’s not bad for me. I think I have a photographic memory or something! All I do is look them over and I remember every single one. Well almost all of them. Right on up until February I was winning every month. Then SHE came! Last month Angelica beat me by one crummy word. I was so mad! I think I got nervous or something and that’s why I didn’t spell the word right. I remember the word too. It was “adventure”.

      By the way the lucky person who wins doesn’t have to do homework for one night during the month and they can pick whatever night they want. I was picking the night when we had a million tons of homework. You see I have certain shows I love on TV and I just have to watch them! This month I was going to pick next Wednesday because Mrs. Wilson was planning on giving us a short research project and our regular homework.

I was going to watch a movie at 3:30. Then I was going to eat dinner and watch all my shows! It was going to be a great night! I even had a plan to get Lisa back too. She’s my dumb old sister. In our house whoever gets her homework done neatly and first gets to pick a TV program she wants to watch. I wasn’t going to have homework so I pretty much was boss of the TV for the whole night! Boy! Life is not fair sometimes. Anyway I better get back to the story before Mommy sees you and I get another lickin’!

      Thursday night I was studying for the spelling bee. I pretty much knew all the words. Mommy offered to test me but I told her I knew them. I wish I would’ve let her test me. I guess Mommy’s do know some stuff. I am so stubborn sometimes!

I was determined to win this month and so I had to come up with an idea. I sat and thought for a while and finally I had it. It was perfect and I thought I could get away without getting a lickin’ to boot! Boy, was I wrong! I have to tell you it was worth every second of that spanking. If you would’ve seen her face you would’ve agreed to.

I went downstairs and told Mommy I felt like doing an art project. Let me back up for a minute and tell you one thing about Angelica. She is a ballet dancer. As you know I think all that “girly” stuff is really disgusting and except for Lisa she is the most sickening girl I know.

I found a white tee shirt and my puffy paints and went to work. When it was all done I drew a fast picture so Mommy would not guess what I was planning to do to Angelica. I put all my things away and went to show Mommy my picture. For some crazy reason grown-ups like to see kids pictures. I think it’s stupid but what do I know? Mommy loved my picture and wanted to hang it on the refrigerator. I begged her not to because if my friends saw it they would tease me for a hundred years. She said she’d hang it in her room. Why do grown-ups think they have to hang every single picture a kid draws? I don’t know either!

I hung the tee shirt on my door with a sweatshirt over it so Mommy wouldn’t see it when she tucked me in. I got myself ready for bed and after Mommy kissed me I fell asleep in two seconds flat.

The next day I woke up and got ready for school. I put the tee shirt on under my sweatshirt. I couldn’t wait to put my plan in action. We always have our spelling bee at the end of the day. I hate waiting but when you are a kid you don’t get a whole lot of choices.

Finally it was time! I was feeling very excited. I just knew I was going to win this one. That girl didn’t have a chance against good old Mandy! We were down to her and me. It was time to put the plan together. I told my teacher I was hot and she said I could take off my sweatshirt. I tried not to laugh as I did it. When the shirt was finally off I turned around so Angelica could see the shirt. She made the maddest face I have ever seen on a kid! I mean it wasn’t that bad. All it said was “Ballet is for Baby Girly Bozos”! The teacher was sitting behind us and I was in front of her so she didn’t see it either. She sure saw Angelica making faces at me and she got yelled at. Boy, it sure did feel good to have somebody else get it for a change!

We were up to the last three words and I knew I had to do something fast. Every time it was her turn I silently mouthed the wrong letters to that word. She kept making faces at me and kept getting yelled at too! It was awesome! I was looking as innocent as a kid could look. Each time she said a letter I pointed to a word on my shirt but I made it look like I was itching something. Boy, I am good at this! The teacher must have seen me do the itch thing and told Angelica to stop spelling. She did. I was wondering why but soon enough I found out. The teacher made me turn to face her and I knew at that moment I was busted! She looked at my shirt and her eyes opened up real wide. She made me go to back to my seat. While I was walking there she told Angelica that she was the winner. I almost fell down dead! I was pretty mad but I thought that was the end of it. Not so!

The teacher wrote my mom a note and put it in a sealed envelope. Those types of notes are never good for a kid’s rear end! I dragged my feet all the way home so I didn’t have to show it to her too fast. I figured the later the better. When I got in my house Mommy asked me how my day was. I started to tell her when she asked me if I had anything I wanted to tell her. I gulped real loud and handed her the note. Mommy told me my teacher had called and told her I was bringing a note home. Man! Teachers don’t play fair! They don’t give you a chance to give the note to your parents!

Mommy and I sat down and I tried to explain to her why I felt I had to do what I did. She didn’t understand at all. She told me I was going to get a spanking for a couple of things. The first thing was making a shirt and hurting Angelica’s feelings. The second thing was for attempting to cheat. I told her I wasn’t cheating and that made her even madder. She gave me a smack on the seat of my jeans and marched me to the corner and had me stand there. Like what was I going to do? Have a tea party or something? I did as she asked because I was hoping good behavior would help!

After about a hundred hours she called me to her. When I turned around I saw she was sitting in a chair and I knew my butt was not going to be happy in about a minute from now. I walked over to her and tried to plead my case for the last time. I think Mommy turns her ears off or something when we give a last minute plea for clemency. Mommy started to lecture and was pulling my jeans and panties down. My toes were scrunching the carpet and my stomach was in knots. I was plain old scared to death!

Mommy put me over her knee and the lickin’ began. She has a nasty habit of spanking the same place about five times. Then she trades that place for a different place on my poor innocent behind! Let me tell you it hurts like heck! I think Mommy took a class in how to spank. I bet they called it “Spanking in Ten Easy Lessons”! I bet she got an “A” plus in that class too.

She kept scolding about how awful it was to hurt other peoples’ feelings. I wanted to say she was killing my feelings but I figured this was not a good time. Then she started on the cheating thing. By that time she could have said just about anything and I would have agreed to it. After a while I was lying over her lap and crying my eyes out. She stopped. She helped me up and took me in her arms. I cried for a while and she asked me if I wanted my panties up or off. I told her off and she helped me to step out of them and my jeans. She gave me one final hug and told me to go lay down for a while. I practically ran up to my room.

When I got to my room I just had to look at my bottom. It was so red! I sat down real gentle and boy did it sting. I did make a decision about next month’s spelling bee though. I was going to have to be way more creative!