Castle Freak

An American family (Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Jessica Dollarhide) that has suffered tragedy inherits an Italian castle complete with bloodthirsty monster.

Review

Bill is at the bar drinking some pretty stuff. Pete went behind the bar and got some decapitated body parts and laid the all out and they are so fake. Then Pete pulls out a picture in a frame. (how scary!)

Oh yeah, I learned a new word too. FUGLY. I guess it means fucked up and ugly I guess. See there, I told you that this program was educational.

Bill is at the bar and this butt naked monster came running-no-streaking through the bar. I love this because he was all naked and assed out with no draws! I like that! Pete was sleep and then he woke up with the fake body parts still laying all across the counter. Bill gives out horror movie survival tips, while that ugly butt-naked monster that won't wear any draws grabs Bill off the stool while Pete fans a rag at him. (that was wrong)

Bill is at the bar all scratched up and bloody with skin hanging off his face. (at least he is making progress) Bill is at the bar with ban-aids all over him in all different colors. He got the good ones too, but he must be really greasy or something because they are about to come off and those kind are very hard to come off. I know because I use them. Bill ends up crying because he is in pain. I wish I can heal his infected sores.

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