joke



		Chess jokes + ramblings

	Here goes my ramblings! Well, it's one "chess", but there are many kinds of chess with different styles. Not polish chess, Italian, American or French chess by the way. I'm not a racist! U must have figured out that sometimes u loveee chess while sometimes you get tired of playing chess. That's because you are not playing your favorite style of chess. For the first timers, the game turns out puzzle game or usually random cancellation games. If you really work hard on chess and become like one of those grand masters or something. Your chess will be totally intelligent. Then you can push your limits to Kasparov vs. Deep Blue or someting. You are so good that you worry about " Who the hell can play a decent game against me? hahahhaha". Well, that's still very far away for us. But most of us ain't that great and it's the mistakes that makes our games varied and interesting. For the intermediate players who call themselves, "Chess-masters", there are two main styles. Ghetto-laid back style chess and online or speed pressure chess. Online games often are speed games and you can win or lose many games with pressure. Online games can be fun but I don't like meeting people online often cause many of them are rude and it's much like playing against screen. Well, of course you don't have to like everyone. Say Bah to the rude ones. I like meeting people you know and play on big board on table. These games last like 20 minutes to an hour or so. Ghetto games are those that you can smell smoking coming out of the table sometimes. Next time, your opponent says, "Holy smoke" or " Is something burning?" take that as compliment for your game style. For those who never smelled actual "smoking" in any kind of human activities, I say you are taking it safe and healthy. Ghetto chess involves some "sacrifice", "deadly queen check", "menacing knight", or " incredible pawn moves". Well, many chess players left many words about chess, I will leave my own, too. "Keep doing what the opponent hates the most." or "Sacrifice always makes the games more fun."

		The ways to earn the "Check-mate". Well, first you need to meet someone attractive of course. Sit down and start opening your pieces of "?????". Pin your fingers at the enemy "bitch"(queen) or the "guy"(king). When in physical contacts, eat your opponent and suck the pieces out genly with your hands. If you feel like a knight recuing a princess, start forking around with your knight. So the basic steps I'm rambling are really simple if you follow direction. Pin then fork then mate. Check your partner out many times and finally force him or her into mating postion and mate. Well, I gave a try for this lame R-rated joke.