The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.

Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

If all the vehicles in New Zealand were 'Built Ford Tough', the shoulders of New Zealand's highways would be a much more crowded place.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Have you outdriven a Ford lately?

This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting.

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

I'd rather push a Holden than drive a Ford.

Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer.

Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the rest.

Sometimes the best jokes are true. On May 12, Ford announced a recall on it's Expeditions and F-series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to FALL OFF. It just keeps getting better.

SPEED KILLS

Drive a Ford and live forever.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"

If you're baffled why Ford is actually competing in ATCC, don't be. They have teams of mechanics working around the clock for a week, just so they can run a race.

Ashes to ashes,

Dust to dust,

If is wasn't for Ford

our tools would be rust.

Q: How do you double the value of a Ford?

A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?

A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets?

A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: Why is New Zealand so far in debt?

A: Jenny Shipley gets chauffered in a Ford.

Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood?

A: As much as the Holden ute towing it.

Ford acronyms:

F O R D

Found On Rubbish Dumps

Fix Or Repair Daily

Fails On Rainy Days

Fails On Race Day

Found On Roadside Dead

Factory Ordered Road Disaster

Factory Ordered Rebuilt Datsun

Flip Over Read Directions

Four Old Rusted Doors

Ford Owner Really Dumb

For Only Retarded Drivers

(French) - Fabrication Ordinare Reparation Dispendieuse

Ford Owners Recommend Datsun (Dodge)

Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy

For Off Road Death

Fords Only Run Downhill

Fat Old Rusted Dog

Freaking Old Rusted Dodge (Datsun)

Forget Out Running Datsuns

Or in reverse...

D R O F

Drivers Return On Foot

Don't Ride Over Fifty

Danged Roaches Outrun Ford

Datsun Rules Over Ford

Pinto acronyms...

P I N T O

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

Put In New Transmission Often

Put In Nickel To Operate

If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...

You look in your rear-view mirror to see two people with their hands on your tailgate.

You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.

When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.

While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.

You have preferred customer status at Appco Auto Parts.

You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.

You leave your keys in the ignition and a $20 bill on the dash for gas money in hopes that someone will steal your car.

When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.

People try to hire you to bring your truck to their house to fog for mosquitos.

In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes.