Welcome to the Dark Side... for years, an elite group of Woogiedom's finest warriors have been inducted, trained, and henceforth (generally) run into the ground as part of the finest order of ninja artists the world has ever known!  The Way of the Woogie is steeped in history and tradition, and now, for the first time, the leading sensei, known only as NightWoogie, is willing to impart some of his highly dangerous knowledge and wisdom to you all.  But be warned: when used falsely, the penalty is severe...
		A young fool is never safe: his time is limited.  One must learn the wise Way of the Woogie to achieve peace of mind.  Listen, oh hasty one, for the wisdom is mighty... Always remember to stay one step ahead of the game.  Remember, he who run in front of cowless carriage get tired; but he who run behind get exhausted. Good hygiene is essential to all walks of life.  In the shadow of this principle, he who has a painful posterior should not indulge in the nibbling of his fingernails. Remember that all walks of life should be catered for in your charity towards others.  For instance, crowded elevator smell very different to midget. Safety is essential: he who drive like hell is bound to get there.  And fighting is not the Way, for combat does not determine who is right, only who is left. Follow these principles, my son, and you will be further in the world that your contemporaries.  And if nothing else is instilled in you, at least bear this in mind: He who stand on the toilet is high on pot.
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