|God Created Cats|
|On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litterbox.
|All I Need to Know I Learned From My Cat|
|*Life is hard and then you nap
*Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours
*Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them and play with them when they're busy
*When in doubt, cop an attitude
*Climb your way to the top--that's why the drapes are there
*Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face
*Make your mark in the world--or at least spray in each corner
*When you go out into the world, always remember, being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege
*Always give generously--a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care"
|The cat has nine lives: three for playing, three for straying, three for staying.|
|Anyone who claims that a cat cannot give a dirty look either has never kept a cat or is singularly unobservant.|
|Cats, like men, are flatterers.|
|-Walter Savage Landor|
|There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten.|
|Cats sleep anywhere, Any table, Any chair. Top of piano, Window-ledge, In the middle, On the edge.|
|Once cats were all wild, but afterward they retired to houses.|
|If man could be crossed with a cat, it would improve the man but deteriorate the cat.|
|The only risk you ever run in befriending a cat is enriching yourself.|
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