Episode 14 - Mousetrap
MOUSETRAP
TEASER
INT. SOME UNDISCLOSED PLACE - DAY (DAY ONE)
Cue : Dramatic Fighty Music.
ANGLE : BUFFY
as we watch her fight some large, unrevealed demon.
Buffy ducks and weaves as an arm swings wildly at her.
BUFFY
You're gonna have to do better than
that!
More wild air-swings from the demon which Buffy easily
avoids.
DEMON (O.S.)
(deep and booming voice)
Check your watch slayer. It's
checkout time!
Fighty music suddenly ends. Buffy immediately stops,
gives the demon a strange look.
REVERSE ANGLE : HATHOS
a kinda blank expression on his face. He too has now
stopped fighting.
Buffy leans over and peers past the wide demony frame
to look behind it.
REVERSE ANGLE : WILLOW AND TARA
hands joined, sitting on a table. We now see that we
are in the Magic Box training room. Willow turns to
look at Tara.
WILLOW
It's checkout time?
An embarassed Tara looks at Willow, then at Buffy.
TARA
(smiling apolegetically)
Too hotel lobby?
BUFFY
No, that's.. valid. I mean, who
hasn't been terrifed at the prospect
of receiving that call.
ANGLE : ANYA, XANDER AND DAWN
watching from another corner.
ANYA
Personally, it's those uppity
concierge people I have problems
with.
(turning to Xander)
'Concierge'.. that's French you
know. I think it means 'spawn of the
devil'.
XANDER
(indulging)
Really.
ANYA
Well, it would have to be, being
French and all. All they do over
there is eat ungodly helpings of
cheese and cake and cream and not
get fat. Don't try to tell me they
didn't sell out their souls for that
little perk. Plus, what's with all
the beheadings?
WILLOW
(to Xander)
And you said you had trouble
composing your wedding vows.
BUFFY
Okay, what say we move away from the
impromptu Franco-sociology lesson
and get back to work. Will.. Tara,
can you guys get Hathos here to
speed up a little?
WILLOW
Haffy.
BUFFY
Haffy?
WILLOW
Yeah, cause we were thinking, now
that Haffy's on our side and all, we
want him to be more, you know,
Haffy-like.
TARA
It's just.. Hathos. That name's so
evily.. destructy.. Monster Trucky.
ANYA
(to Willow,
contemptuously)
Haffy. Why don't you just name him
Marmalade, so all the other giant
puppet assassins can make fun of
him, beat him up and steal his
bounty money.
BUFFY
Anya does have a point. We wanna
intimidate the demons here and let
me tell you.. Haffy? It's like..
Happy Haffy.
DAWN
(happily joining in)
or Puff Haffy.
XANDER
David Hafflehoff.. wait, that guy's
funny without having to mess with
his name.
WILLOW
Fine, we can call him Hathos in the
field.. but here, he's among friends
and..
(as if addressing a
favourite pet)
we're calling him Haffy.
BUFFY
Whatever. Could you guys also give
him a little more tude'. I mean,
more with the snarly and growly,
less with the 'Look at my pretty
posy of petunias'. We want demons to
run away from him, not come up and
have their pictures taken with him
or, you know, lead the Macy's
Thanksgiving Day Parade?
TARA
Oh.. Okay.
Tara concentrates for a second.
ANGLE : HAFFY
looking down at Buffy. We see one side of his lip curl
up in a kinda snarl.
TARA
How's that?
BUFFY
(looking at Haffy)
Elvis lives.
WILLOW
We'll keep working on it. Good to go
again?
Buffy nods and assumes a fighting stance. Willow and
Tara begin to concentrate, focusing on Haffy.
Haffy and Buffy spar again. More wild swooshes from
Haffy which Buffy neatly avoids. Haffy's tail flicks
up and almost catches Buffy's head.
BUFFY
Hey guys. Watch the hair!
WILLOW
Sorry.
TARA
Sorry.
HAFFY
Sorry.
ANGLE : ANYA AND XANDER
watching the sparring session.
ANYA
It's like the Three Stooges.. if Moe
was a seven-foot bull-demon with
horns.
More sparring. Buffy avoids a punch, ducks and rolls
to get to Haffy's other side.
WILLOW
Tara! Left Hook! Left Hook!
TARA
That's you Will! I got the right
remember?
WILLOW
Oh!
TARA
Legs! Legs!
Haffy twists and turns, getting his legs all tangled
with each other. Haffy falls to the ground clumsily.
Buffy stands over Haffy and appraises him for a beat.
Haffy looks up at Buffy. He is in a tangled mess,
hands and feet all over the place.
HAFFY
This would really hurt if I wasn't a
giant puppet.
Buffy turns back to Willow and Tara.
BUFFY
Still gotta Comaneci the dismount
guys.
Willow and Tara share a smile.
Anya looks at her watch.
ANYA
Okay, if Punch and Judy's finished
their little puppet show, maybe we
can skip the encore and all proceed
to the exits.
(off looks)
What? Giles left me in charge of
closing the shop. It's a lot of
responsibility.
There's the switching off of the
lights, the closing of the doors,
the herding of tardy vagrants to the
nearest exits.. It's the first step
you know.
XANDER
First step?
ANYA
To the day Giles lets me run the
shop of course.
XANDER
An, I hardly think Giles taking off
early and letting you close shop
means that he's planning a
coronation for his favourite
employee.
ANYA
(patting Xander's face
affectionately)
Baby steps baby.
Anya heads over to the entrance to the training room
and stands next to the light switch.
ANYA
Let's move it. This thing's gotta be
closed by seventeen-thirty.. that's
five-thirty people.
Anya walks over to the light switch and starts
flicking it on and off as she speaks.
ANYA
Anyone who's still here in five
minutes gets to play nightwatchman.
ANGLE : BUFFY, XANDER, DAWN, WILLOW AND TARA
as they begin to pile out of the training room as Anya
continues to flick the lights on and off.
WILLOW
(to Tara, re the lights)
That thing never gets old.
A little smile from Tara as the two exit.
EXT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
almost dusk. We see Xander and Anya saying their
goodbyes to the rest of the group as they head off in
another direction. We TRACK Buffy, Tara, Dawn and
Willow as they walk in a group. Buffy and Tara walking
up front while Willow and Dawn are a few metres back.
TARA
(turning back to Dawn)
So, you all set for the sleepover
tommorow?
DAWN
(mental checklist)
Sleeping bag, PJs, marshmallows..
BUFFY
Toothbrush, homework..
DAWN
(quietly to herself)
At least I'll be checking nagging
elder sisters at the door.
Willow smiles. She then hears something and starts to
look around worriedly as she walks.
REVERSE ANGLE: SUNNYDALE STREET
from Willow's POV as she spins around. Lots of people
walking by, nothing out of the usual.
ANGLE : BUFFY AND TARA
BUFFY
Thanks for taking Dawn again. Just
with the extra patrols set down for
tommorow..
TARA
It's totally okay. I mean, you know
she can come over any time. We love
having her with us.
(turning behind her)
Right Will?
Willow is preoccupied and doesn't hear Tara. She still
looks nervously around her. Tara and Buffy take a
quick look around but see nothing.
BUFFY
(pointedly)
So, Will.
Willow finally snaps out of it. She turns to Buffy.
BUFFY
What's this thing between Miss Kitty
and Amy? A furry feud? Pet peeves?
WILLOW
Oh, it's nothing really. They've
just been giving each other these
looks ever since we bought Amy a new
treadmill. I guess I can see where
Miss Kitty is coming from. I mean, I
would get pissy too if, you know,
instead of everyone buying lunch for
me to play with, everyone started
buying play-things for my lunch.
DAWN
Oh. Tell her about Amy's toys.
Buffy looks at Willow quizically.
WILLOW
We think Miss Kitty's been clawing
Amy's toys to shreds. We haven't
actually seen her do it but she
always has this smirk on her face
when we find the mess.
TARA
I keep getting this mental picture
of her taunting Amy.. slowly
destroying her favourite toys in
front of her.. It's unsettling.
WILLOW
Well, I don't think it's a smart
move to tick Amy off. I swear, if
she ever found a way to get out of
her cage and get her powers back..
EXT. SUNNYDALE DUMP - NIGHT
as we TRACK a brown rat, scurrying along the ground,
heading somewhere with purpose.
We come upon a clearing in the dump, where we see a
large number of brown rats have gathered. We see a
dishevelled man in rags, next to a garbage can which
has been set alight. He is throwing down scraps of
food for the rats.
RAG MAN
(to the rats, in a
polished upper-class
accent)
Yes, yes. Eat well my friends. Soon,
you will need all your strength.
He throws the last bit of food in his hands to the
rats. He reaches into his coat pocket and gently takes
out a white rat. He kneels down and places the rat on
the ground.
RAG MAN
There you go Hugo. You'll always be
my friend won't you? My little white
friend. Soon, you will come into my
world. A world that won't think
twice about tearing you down,
spitting on you, discarding you and
washing you away like common filth.
Hugo looks up at Rag man, not responding.
RAG MAN
Well, we're above that.. well,
current surroundings aside. We will
rise from the ashes and wreck our
vengeance upon this world. And you..
you shall lead my army and carry my
sword.
Rag man stands back up and reaches into a sack. He
pulls out a strange receptacle. Some sort of stand
with three demon-like claws placed in a circle,
reaching out ready to hold on to something. He places
the receptacle on an oil drum.
He then reaches into the sack again and pulls out a
large, white, oval-shaped orb. He takes a long,
admiring look at it. He walks over to the receptacle
and gently places the orb on it. It glows a bright
white. He smiles.
He spreads his arms out, closes his eyes and starts
chanting; some strange dead language. He chants with
fervour and passion. As he chants, the orb glows
brighter and brighter.
Rag man finishes his spell with a flourish. A rippling
wave emanates from the orb, spreading out in all
directions.
ANGLE : HUGO
as the ripple passes through him. We see Hugo
magically transform into a giant rat-like creature
with human-like qualities. He stands on its hind legs,
slighty taller than his creator.
ANGLE : SUNNYDALE DUMP
A wide view from high up. We see the ripple spread
out, passing through the entire dump. We PAN to follow
as the ripple heads out to the bright lights of the
town.
INT. A HOUSE - NIGHT
CLOSE ON : A RAT
as we TRACK it as it scurries along a carpeted floor,
dashing past table legs and a pair of feet in high
heels. We hear a high-pitched female scream. The rat
runs into a closet. We see a ripply wave pass through
the closet.
ANGLE : A WOMAN
dinner-party dressed. She continues to scream as she
looks down on the floor.
WOMAN
Donald! I thought I told you to
clean up this mess! The guests will
be arriving any minute!
ANGLE : A DEN
in a wide shot. The room is very messy with papers and
all kinds of junk littered everywhere. In a corner, we
see a guy backed in a corner, looking at the closet.
He seems a little fearful.
WOMAN
(noticing)
What is it?
MAN
In the closet.. Rat!
WOMAN
(rolling her eyes)
Oh, for heaven's sake. Again?
She goes to a corner where she picks up an umbrella
and starts heading towards the closet.
WOMAN
For the last time dearie, it's just
a rat. It's nothing to be afraid of.
(as she opens the closet
door)
Maybe if you cleaned up in here once
in a while..
A giant brown demon-rat leaps out into the center of
the room.
ANGLE : MAN
screaming his head off.
ANGLE : WOMAN
screaming her head off.
The rat snarls at them both, then leaps through a
closed window, shattering the glass. A silent beat
between the couple.
MAN
You were saying?
INT. WILLOW AND TARA'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
Where we see Miss Kitty chewing on one of Amy's toys.
We PAN over to Amy in her cage, just watching
proceedings. A ripply wave passes through her. Nothing
discernible happens.
EXT. SUNNYDALE DUMP - NIGHT
ANGLE : RAG MAN
as he smiles in the warm glow of his creations.
RAG MAN
Look at you all.
ANGLE : HUGO
now a giant, white demony-rat, standing to attention
and looking at Rag Man. We WIDEN to reveal a whole
group of brown, vicious-looking giant demon-rats
standing behing Hugo.
RAG MAN
(appraising Hugo)
Yes. You will do very nicely. Soon
we will have power.. we will have
money.. we will move to Chicago and
host our own chat show, and expose
the world to the literary works of
Chaucer, Dickens and Bronte.. Emily,
not Anne.
Hugo watches Rag Man with interest as he paces around.
RAG MAN
Now.. where to start? where to
start? So many people to kill.
Hugo steps forward towards Rag Man. Rag Man looks up
to Hugo.
RAG MAN
Hugo?
Hugo smiles menacingly. He makes a signal and the
brown rats behind him come forward, past Hugo and
towards Rag Man.
Rag Man backs away, terrified. He stumbles and falls
to the ground.
RAG MAN
Hugo?
ANGLE : HUGO
as we hear the rats attack. Screams off-screen as Hugo
smiles. We PUSH IN on his rodent face, all evily
snarls and rodent twitches. Then..
HUGO
(in a polished accent)
I was always partial to Charlotte
myself.
BLACKOUT
END OF TEASER
CONTINUE TO ACT ONE