Episode 13 - The Waiting Room
ACT ONE
EXT. THE MAGIC WAND - DAY
to establish.
INT. THE MAGIC WAND - DAY
We see Buffy and Giles peering over a display stand,
taking a look at the store around them. The store is a
hive of activity, bustling with people. Music is
playing in the store which is abuzz with excitement.
GILES
Well, this is humiliating.
BUFFY
Oh, come on Giles. This place isn't
that much better than the Magic Box.
GILES
(turns to Buffy)
I meant the spying. Skulking around
like a common criminal?
BUFFY
Oh.
(a beat)
In that case, forget about what I
said.
Buffy turns guiltily away from Giles as Giles gives
her a look. Giles lets it go and takes another look at
the store.
GILES
Honestly, I don't know what we hope
to gain from all this.
BUFFY
Ease up. We're just checking out the
competition. A little bit of retail
espionage is good for the soul.
GILES
How's that?
BUFFY
Well, okay.. there's a chance it'll
send you straight to hell, but in
the meantime, hey! Healthy profit
margin!
Giles gives Buffy a disapproving look.
BUFFY
Anyway, this sure makes a nice
change from spying on demons, vamps
and all the other wonderful
creatures living on the demony
melting pot that is the Hellmouth.
You know, with the nefarious plans
and the whole end of the world
deals.
(takes a look around the
store)
At least with this, the worst thing
we could uncover is that, you know,
the rival shop across the street
is.. big.. spacy.. air-conditioned..
(off Giles' look)
Not that we need air-conditioning in
the Magic Box. I find magic is best
served up warm and.. um.. musty.
GILES
Please stop trying to help.
BUFFY
Oh! But we got this place totally
beat on the slayery accessories. It
doesn't have a fully-equipped,
Council-certified training room
hiding in the back.. a required
facility in any good magic store.
Xander arrives, making his way through the crowd of
people. He's carrying a bunch of stuff in his hands.
XANDER
Man, check out the party vibe in
this place. It's like my last
birthday bash except, you know, with
the people.
BUFFY
The joint is a jumpin'.
GILES
(aggrieved)
My joint jumps.
XANDER
No Giles, it does a tango for five
minutes, then lies back exhausted
and spends the rest of the day
planning how to sombre things up
further for tommorow.
Buffy gives Xander a nudge.
XANDER
(looking at Giles and
getting it)
I meant that in a good way of
course.
GILES
Obviously.
XANDER
Wait.. This will cheer you up!
BUFFY
(dreading)
Xander.
XANDER
No, you'll love this.
Xander turns away from Giles and Buffy and starts
putting on a mask he has in his hands.
XANDER
(back to Buffy and Giles)
Guess who I am.
Xander spins around. He now has on a Fyarl Demon mask.
He starts growling and roaring, waving his arms about.
Buffy rolls her eyes, takes a furtive look at Giles
who stands there impassively, taking it all in.
Xander continues to growl and roar.. then suddenly, he
sticks a finger dramatically up in the air, as if a
thought suddenly occuring to him. He puts on a pair of
gag glasses and produces a magical tome from behind
his back and starts leafing through it.
Xander finishes his act and turns to his audience for
some feedback.
REVERSE ANGLE:
Buffy and Giles, arms folded. Not impressed.
XANDER
(still with mask)
I'm Giles see?
Giles spots the book in Xander's hand.
GILES
(taking the book from
Xander)
Let me see that.
XANDER
Hey! Hands off the prop!
Giles takes a closer look at the book while Xander
takes off his glasses and mask.
BUFFY
(to Xander)
They put you in charge of a crew?
GILES
Oh Dear Lord.
BUFFY
What?
(takes a look at the book)
Something evily? Is it cursed? What?
GILES
Ten dollars.
XANDER
Huh?
GILES
They're selling the Second Edition
of 'Charms and Spells' for ten
dollars.
BUFFY
So? I'm sure our price is extra
competitive and all.
XANDER
Yeah. What's it going for at the old
Box?
GILES
(chagrined, quietly)
Twenty two ninety-five.
BUFFY
Oh.
GILES
Well, we have to special order it
and then there's the shipping
costs.. We do wrap it in a nice,
shiny paper.
Giles spots something else in the distance.
GILES
(aghast)
Crystal balls at five dollars a
piece?
Giles storms off to take a closer look.
XANDER
So I'm thinking that maybe next
time, we don't bring the British guy
along.
ANGLE : TARA
In another part of the store, we see Tara browsing
over some merchandise. Dawn comes over, smiling.
DAWN
So, what do ya think about all this?
It's like a whole cauldron of magicy
goodness.
TARA
I've always wondered what would
happen when magic met the Discount
King.
Dawn smiles. She notes Tara's furrowed brow as she
inspects more merchandise.
DAWN
What is it?
TARA
There are things here that are
mislabelled.
DAWN
So? What's a newt eye from a frog's
leg? Besides, of course, the obvious
culinary disaster.
TARA
(showing Dawn a crystal,
adamant)
I mean, there are things here that
shouldn't be sold to just anyone.
Powerful, magical items that could
be dangerous to people who don't
know what they're doing.
Dawn looks Tara up and down, then treading on
eggshells.
DAWN
Still worried about Willow?
TARA
(a little smile)
Not subtle with the projection huh?
Dawn smiles and shakes her head.
DAWN
Do you wanna.. I mean, if you wanted
to talk about.. stuff..
TARA
(looking at some more
merchandise)
That's okay. It's grown up stuff,
you know?
DAWN
(making a face, quietly to
herself)
Right. So the kid should just butt
out..
TARA
(turning to Dawn,
earnestly)
Oh Dawnie. You know I didn't mean it
like that.
It's just, it's this whole mess of
grown-up complications that you
shouldn't have to worry about right
now.
Dawn kinda nods, still unconvinced. Tara looks at Dawn
for a beat, thinking things through.
TARA
Listen. When all this is sorted out,
if you still want to know, we'll
talk things through.. if you still
want to know. Okay?
DAWN
(happier)
Okay.
TARA
Come on. Let's go find the others. I
think maybe it's time we headed back
to the store.
DAWN
Oh, I'm sure Willow and Anya can
handle the store by themselves for a
little while longer.
TARA
I'm sure they can, but just the
thought of leaving those two alone
in a confined space for any period
of time..
INT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
ANGLE : ANYA
looking out the window at the Magic Wand across the
street. She looks nervous, slightly panicy. She keeps
clicking the pen in her hands; a nervous reflex.
ANGLE : WILLOW
sitting at the table, browsing through a magic book.
She looks up at Anya, thoroughly unimpressed at the
clicking sound. The store is completely empty.
WILLOW
Anya.
Anya turns to Willow.
WILLOW
Enough with the clicky, okay?
Anya takes a look at the pen in her hand.
ANYA
Sorry.
Anya puts the pen away and turns back to the window.
Willow goes back to her reading.
Almost immediately, Anya begins to continuously rap
her fingers on the window sill as she continues to
stare at the shop across the street. Willow looks up
at Anya again; the new sound not being an improvement.
ANYA
(still looking through the
window)
I shouldn't be worried. It's not so
bad right?
WILLOW
What?
Anya turns and heads towards Willow.
ANYA
I mean, there's really only one
thing that that store has that this
one doesn't.
WILLOW
What's that?
ANYA
(with dread)
Customers.
Anya begins to pace around the room, giving Willow a
bit more of a headache.
ANYA
I can't stand this.
WILLOW
(slightly under her
breath)
Yeah, I know the feeling.
ANYA
I wish I could've gone over there to
see for myself. But no, they had to
leave us both here.. for no
explicable reason. Well, that's not
true. They left you here on account
of everyone being worried you're
becoming this glitchy witch who
could easily go over the deep end
into the dark and evil recesses of
damnation.
Willow gives Anya a look. Anya heads over to the
counter.
ANYA
(in a world of her own)
But I have no idea why they left me.
WILLOW
No, cause you're so not overreacty
when it comes to the shop.
ANYA
Hey, I realise I'm not perfect. But
that's okay, me being newly human
and all. I'm a work in progress, you
know? I'm growing every day.
WILLOW
(to herself)
Like an abscess.
Anya finally notices what Willow is reading.
ANYA
Hey! Aren't you supposed to lay off
that stuff?
WILLOW
(indicating the book)
What. This? It's just a magic book.
Don't worry. It's not dark or
anything.. you know, just your
common garden variety spells.
Strictly peas and carrots. All my
spells have been going wonky lately.
I just need to brush up on the
basics.
ANYA
(a little unsure)
Oh.. okay.
Anya lets it go. She looks dolefully down at the cash
register. She opens it and begins to count some
money.. trying to make herself feel better.
Suddenly, we hear the doorbell ring. A woman and her
young daughter enter the store. The girl rushes
excitedly forward into the store.
ANYA
Customers! Oh, Thank God!
Anya almost sprints towards the little girl who stops
dead in her tracks upon seeing the fast-approaching
Anya. Anya stops in front of the girl and leans over
to talk to her.
ANYA
(to the girl, very excited
and talking very rapidly)
And how are you little girl? My
name's Anya. And what's yours? Oh,
that's such a pretty name. And what
would you like today? We have so
many things for sale and..
The girl can't take it anymore. She breaks out in
tears and runs crying to her mother. The mother takes
the girl and ushers her out the store.
ANYA
(to the dear departed
customers)
Wait. Come back.. I need you.
WILLOW
She's gone Anya. I don't think she
can hear you.
ANYA
(still looking at the
door, mournfully)
I was talking to the money.
INT. THE MAGIC WAND - DAY
We see Buffy making her way through the crowd. She
takes a look behind her.
BUFFY
(calling out)
C'mon Dawn. We're leaving.
Buffy finds Giles just finishing a conversation with
Tara. Dawn and Xander arrive to join the group.
BUFFY
(to Giles)
Ready to go?
GILES
I think I've seen quite enough.
XANDER
But.. they're giving out free ice-
cream in ten minutes..
Giles gives Xander a look.
XANDER
(off the look)
which, of course, is code for,
"let's leave this foul, unholy
place".
Giles, Tara and Dawn begin to head out. Xander looks
back longingly at the ice-cream as it is being
unloaded onto a serving table. Buffy grabs Xander
affectionately by the arm.
BUFFY
C'mon cone boy. I'll treat you to
something sweet and sprinkly.
XANDER
Buffy friend good. Xander happy.
Just as the group reaches the exit, Eddie jumps in
front of them, blocking their exit.
EDDIE POGGS
Hi Ho!
Xander lets out a mild yelp. His worst nightmares
coming true.
EDDIE POGGS
(ignoring Xander, to
Giles)
So soon to go?
XANDER
(mortified)
Oh God. It talks!
GILES
(to Eddie)
I'm afraid we must.
EDDIE POGGS
Hey! I know you. You're the guy who
owns the Magic store across the
street. I've seen you in there. I
guess that makes us mortal enemies.
GILES
I beg your pardon.
EDDIE POGGS
(extending out his hand
for a handshake)
Eddie Poggs. I manage this fine
establishment you're standing in.
Giles takes a look at Eddie's hand and his clown get-
up.
GILES
You're not going to squirt me with
anything are you?
EDDIE POGGS
Only if you want me to.
GILES
(shaking Eddie's hand)
Rupert Giles.
Eddie takes a look at the assembled group.
EDDIE POGGS
What? Nothing to buy?
GILES
I'm afraid nothing quite took our
fancy.
EDDIE POGGS
Hi Ho! No need to lie so. You're
here to check out the competition.
Am I right or am I right? It's
nothing to be ashamed of. Heck, I'd
do the same thing if I were in your
position. I hope you found
everything suitably imposing.
TARA
You have things out there on display
that shouldn't be. Powerful, magical
items that shouldn't be for sale.
EDDIE POGGS
Have I now dear girl? I'll be sure
to have my staff take a look. I'm
sure you're wrong though. I save
that sort of exotic stuff for
dealings under the counter, so to
speak.
(to Giles)
As I'm sure you do.
GILES
I do nothing of the sort. Its
irresponsible of you to be selling
these items.
EDDIE POGGS
Hey, if no one wanted this stuff, I
wouldn't be selling them. Just
fulfilling a need chummie. It's the
way of the world.
(considers for a beat,
then)
With those scruples, I'm afraid
you're not going to last very long
competing against the full resources
of the Box of Tricks Proprietary
Limited.. The largest supplier of
magical merchandise in all of twelve
dimensions.
GILES
You seem awfully sure of yourself..
for someone with such large feet.
BUFFY
Why set up here? In this dimension..
In Sunnydale.
EDDIE POGGS
Oh, you know, the sun, the air, the
scenery.. but mainly it's the
Hellmouth. The centre of all magical
activities in this dimension. It's a
rich vein just begging to be
exploited. And I plan to be the one
exploting it. The only one.
(a beat)
Plus, the greenback is competitive
these days.
Giles stares Eddie down.
GILES
(looking at Eddie but
talking to the Scoobs)
Come on. Let's go.
EDDIE POGGS
Oh Wait!
Eddie rushes over to the counter, opens the desk
drawer and searches through the crystals and gemstones
within.
EDDIE POGGS
Let me see here.
Eddie browses through the collection for a beat.. then
spots the five red gemstones and picks them up.
EDDIE POGGS
Hi Ho!. Here we go.
Eddie heads back over to the Scoobs and hands a
gemstone each to each of them.
EDDIE POGGS
Just got these in today. Beautiful
aren't they?
(off Giles' look)
Not to worry, they're harmless
trinkets. Think of them as a gesture
of goodwill.
We prelap:
ANYA (O.S.)
So, can we kill him now?
INT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
Everyone now gathered back at the Magic Box. Meeting
at the round table. Willow, Tara and Dawn in a rough
grouping together and Buffy, Xander and Anya sitting
opposite. Giles stands.
XANDER
I'd like to second that.
(off Giles' look)
What? He's a clown, ergo evil.
DAWN
Ergo scary.
ANYA
Ergo justifiable homicide.
XANDER
Ergo clown.
BUFFY
Okay, what say we quarantine this
discussion before we get a mass
outbreak of clownophobia. I mean,
sure, he's with the floppy feet and
the red rhinoplasty, but it doesn't
mean he's gonna go all Gacy on us.
Giles gives Buffy a strange look, still unused to
Scooby-speak.
GILES
Buffy has a point.. somewhere under
that mangled wreck that was the
English language. But Tara's right
about one thing. We have to do
something about that shop. There's
nothing more dangerous than someone
encouraging the irresponsible
treatment of magic.
ANGLE : WILLOW AND TARA
a slight separation between the two. A few
uncomfortable, nervous glances. Dawn notices.
GILES (O.S.)
There could be any number of
unforseen consequences if Mr Poggs
persists in making such items
available to the public.
ANGLE : ANYA
ANYA
That's all well and good but in the
meantime, this magic store's going
to pull off a dissapearing act all
on its own unless we do something
about it now. I mean, we had a total
of five customers come in today.
Five!.. And one of them was this
blind guy. He was only in here for
ten minutes before he figured out
this wasn't a shoe store. I was this
close to a sale.
TARA
But, how exactly do we compete? I
mean, they're like the Starbucks of
magic stores, except, you know,
you're actually meant to drink some
of their stuff.
Dawn laughs a Tara's little joke, tugging on her arm.
Buffy notices.
ANYA
Well, they may be a wholly owned
subsidiary of this inter-dimensional
mega-magic chain but this place has
the advantage of being a partly
owned subsidiary of me. While you
people have been taking in the
sights at the circus, I've been
using my time productively back
here.. you know, joggin the old
noggin? I've come up with a few
ideas.
Silence in the room. A beat. Anya kicks Xander's shin.
XANDER
(getting it)
Oh! Why don't you tell us all about
it An?
ANYA
Glad you asked. First of all, we
could raise some money just by
getting rid of some of this stuff
that's just lying around here. All
it takes is a little creative
marketing.
Anya walks over to the shelf holding the giant Troll
Hammer.
ANYA
Like with this Troll Hammer. I mean,
sure, fond memories from the old
Glory days and all but we could sell
this thing as a.. as a giant,
expensive paperweight. You know, a
conversation starter.
Anya walks further on and picks up the Toth stick and
waves it around the place as she talks. The group
flinching as the device is waved indiscriminately in
their direction.
ANYA
And the Toth stick.. We could whack
on a few engravings and what not,
add a wick and hey presto! Instant
Tiki lamp.. an expensive Tiki lamp.
(off looks)
No, it'll work. It's this whole new
age earthy yuppie thing. You just
add a few zeroes to the price tag of
a piece of junk and it becomes a
collectible.
Giles comes over and takes the Toth stick from Anya.
GILES
Well, let's not wave this particular
piece of junk around shall we.
ANYA
(to Giles)
And you could brush up on your
people skills.
GILES
(putting the Toth stick
away)
My what?
ANYA
That stuffy librarian thing.. I mean
it's great for musty book
depositories but bad for retail.
We can't have our customers feel
like they can't talk in here or like
they have to return everything they
purchase. And speaking of customers,
I think it's time we redefined our
consumer base.. you know, reach out
to younger money.
GILES
Younger?
ANYA
Sure. I mean, old people. They're so
stingy and picky.. and they up and
die on you in a few years anyway and
leave all their money to their cats.
Where would that leave us?
WILLOW
Aah, I can picture our new slogan.
The Magic Box. We may be small but
at least we care.
ANYA
Oh, go fudge a spell.
BUFFY
Not to break up this welcome jaunt
into this special variety episode of
'Hello Hellmouth', you know, big,
scary clown and all. It's all very
stimulaty. But.. about the General,
you know, our regular big bad?
Giles, have you found out anything
about the amulet? Got any juice on
the Magoose?
GILES
I thought you said it was the
Maggots.. or Muggers.. something or
rather.
BUFFY
Did I? Sorry.. It was like second-
hand information from Harmony, so
who knows what she meant. I mean,
this was a person who thought the
Gaza Strip was a new fashion outlet
in Sunnydale and a peace accord was
something you used to wrap up
presents with.
XANDER
And all this before she even got
vamped.
WILLOW
(frustrated)
Great. While we're here playing
Chinese whispers with the fate of
the world, the General's out there
with Solomon and the others, doing
whatever they like.
Who knows what he could be planning
or what he could try next? I mean,
shouldn't we be doing more?
A concerned glance over from Tara.
BUFFY
Will, they've been low profily ever
since their impromptu sunbake. I
think, right now, they're just
waiting for the amulet to arrive
before they make their next move.
GILES
And in the meantime, Christopher is
taking the information about the
amulet to Mr Sandring. Hopefully,
the Council will have more luck in
tracking down this amulet than we
have thus far.
WILLOW
Council Shmouncil. I mean, there
have to be things we haven't tried
yet.. things that we haven't thought
of..
TARA
(placing a hand on
Willow's arm)
Will.
Willow looks at Tara, calming down.
GILES
We'll keep searching and Buffy will
maintain her patrols. Something will
come up.
(takes a look out the
window)
It's getting late. We should all
head back and get some rest. I'm
sure all this will become clearer
tommorow.
A montage follows; music overlay.
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - JOYCE'S ROOM - NIGHT
Where we see Buffy looking at the red gemstone in her
hand. She places it on the dressing table and stares
at some of the family pictures with Joyce in them. She
walks over to the door adjoining Dawn's room and opens
it.
ANGLE : DAWN
asleep on her bed.
Buffy sits down on Joyce's bed and stares at Dawn
through the open doorway.
INT. WILLOW AND TARA'S DORM - NIGHT
where we see Willow and Tara lying in bed together,
both facing away from each other. We see the slightest
gap in between the two.
ANGLE : WILLOW
facing the camera, clutching the Miss Kitty cushion.
She looks worried and unsure. She turns her head
towards Tara, reaching out with her hand to touch her
but stopping short. She turns back.
ANGLE : TARA
facing the camera, eyes open. A lot going through her
mind, looking fairly disconsolate. She closes her
eyes.
INT. GILES' APARTMENT/GILES' ROOM UPSTAIRS - NIGHT
where we see Giles at a table, reading through some
books. The desk lamp on the table is on. He finishes a
book and closes it. Giles looks tired. He takes off
his glasses, rubs his eyes, then replaces the glasses
and picks up the next book. He opens it and starts to
read.
INT. XANDER'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
ANGLE : THE RED GEMSTONE
sitting on a table next to the bed.
We PAN to the right, over to the bed where we see a
sleeping, snoring Xander. We continue to PAN to Anya,
who is wide awake reading a magazine. On the cover we
see the banner 'Small Business Weekly' and the
headline 'What to do when the Big Boys move in.' We
PAN from Anya to the bedside table where we see a
clock which reads 10:15pm.
DISSOLVE:
to same clock which now ticks over to 12:00am.
We PAN left over to the bed where we see a sleeping
Anya, the magazine on her chest. To Xander's feet
(he's now sleeping upside down) and then to the
bedside table where we see the gemstone starting to
pulsate red and blue.
The table trembles ever so slightly as the gemstone
continues to pulsate. Then, a brilliant blue flash
emanates from the gemstone.
We CUT to a wide-shot of the bedroom as the light
fills the entire room. After a beat, the light is
gone, and so is Xander and Anya.
INT. GILES' APARTMENT/GILES' ROOM UPSTAIRS - NIGHT
We now see a sleeping Giles, sleeping at the table
with his books. We CRANE UP and look over his shoulder
and down at the living room downstairs. We see a
brilliant flash of blue fill the living room but not
reaching upstairs.
INT. WILLOW AND TARA'S DORM - NIGHT
Where we now see that Willow and Tara, in sleep, have
found themselves in each other's arms. We PAN to the
left to see the red gemstone on a bureau pulsating
blue and red. A blue light fills the room and Willow,
Tara, Miss Kitty and Amy dissapear.
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - JOYCE'S ROOM - NIGHT
We see Buffy now asleep on Joyce's bed. The gemstone
pulsates red and blue and a blue light fills the room.
At the same time, we see a blue light emanate from
within Dawn's room. The combined lights merge and fill
both rooms as well as the hallway upstairs.
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - DAWN'S ROOM - NIGHT
as the blue light dissapears. We see an empty bed.
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE - JOYCE'S ROOM - NIGHT
As the blue light dissapears. Buffy is now gone.
BLACKOUT
END OF ACT ONE
CONTINUE TO ACT TWO