Episode 7 - Yes, Virginia..
ACT ONE
EXT. OUTSIDE BUFFY'S HOUSE - DAY (DAY TWO)
We see Anya and Xander walking up to the door, talking
as they go. Anya is dressed festively in red and dons
a Santa hat.
ANYA
(excited)
I just love this time of the year.
Everyone's all merry, and
everything's all festive and cheery.
XANDER
And you're altogether too juiced up
on the Christmas cocktail. What say
we dial back on the exuberance?
ANYA
Oh you dial it back. Why shouldn't I
be happy? Christmas is a happy time
right?
XANDER
Usually, but not everyone's so
jaunty round this time of the year.
ANYA
Well, so long as they don't bring me
down, they won't bother me.
XANDER
Right.
The two reach the door. Xander knocks. The door opens
to reveal Buffy at the doorway.
XANDER
Hey Buffy.
ANYA
(enthusiastic and smiling)
Seasons Greetings!
BUFFY
(flatly)
Hey you guys, come on in.
Anya ignores the less than enthusiastic greeting and
continues smiling as she and Xander enter..
INT. BUFFY'S HOUSE/LOUNGE ROOM - DAY
where the entire gang (minus Dawn) and Christopher are
gathered, sitting around a table. There's a laptop in
front of Willow on the table. Anya takes a horrified
look around.
ANYA
Where's the decorations, the
stockings, the burning log, the
carols?
BUFFY
What?
XANDER
(to Buffy)
I think you're killing Christmas
Anya.
BUFFY
Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be
Ebenezer Buffy.
ANYA
(to Buffy)
The tree! My God! Please tell me you
have a Christmas tree!
BUFFY
Ooh. There's a tree.
Buffy points to a tiny, slightly disfigured, green
plastic thing in the corner with a tiny star on top.
It has seen better days.
WILLOW
That's a tree? I thought it was a
room freshener.
XANDER
No offence Buffy but that's like the
very definition of a token effort.
BUFFY
I just thought we'd cut back on the
decorations and stuff this year, you
know, have a holly free Christmas.
ANYA
(to herself)
More like jolly free.
CHRISTOPHER
Perhaps we could get back to the
issues at hand?
The mood in the room immediately turns more serious
with Chris' interjection. Anya and Xander sits
themselves down.
XANDER
So, what did we miss?
WILLOW
We were just talking about Ethan
Rayne.
XANDER
Oh yeah. You guys ever notice he's
like a bad twenty-four hour flu? I
mean, it all seems very dangerous at
the time but it always turns out to
be just a mild annoyance which is
gone by the end of the day.
BUFFY
Well this is one flu I don't plan on
catching again. We sent his English
ass back to England.
GILES
(smiling, happy thoughts)
Yes, thanks to Tara, he'll be
spending Christmas with some of his
old friends back in the Council, who
I'm sure will make him feel very
welcome.
WILLOW
(to Tara)
See baby, if everyone took two of
you a day, nobody would get sick.
Tara smiles, a little embarrassed.
BUFFY
Aw, that's sweet. A little too much
subtext, but sweet.
CHRISTOPHER
(impatient, jumping in
again)
So what do we know?
The mood of the room changes again. A few stares at
Christopher before Buffy chimes in.
BUFFY
Well, Ethan mentioned someone called
'the General'. I'll take a wild
guess here and say he's the guy
running things.
GILES
Yes, a General who wants to raise an
army.
TARA
An army?
BUFFY
Yup. Organised mayhem, right here in
Sunnydale central.
XANDER
And they say this town has nothing
to offer tourists. Wait. An army of
demons? Didn't we do this already?
BUFFY
Yeah, sounds like Adam left his
master plans lying about the place.
WILLOW
So, are we thinking that the local
vamps are signing up?
BUFFY
I haven't seen any recruiting
posters around but it would kinda
explain the lack of vamp activity
lately.
XANDER
Yeah, whatever happened to Skeet and
his gang?
GILES
Well, we can't rule anything out at
this stage. They could be recruiting
from Sunnydale, or others could be
coming here. We just don't know.
BUFFY
What do we know? Giles, did Ethan
tell you anything more about where
Fort Fang could be?
GILES
No, he's sticking to his story. He
knows the general area but he claims
they always blindfolded him before
he got close.
BUFFY
Will?
WILLOW
(looking at her laptop)
I managed to hack in and get a hold
of the town plans but..
XANDER
No luck?
WILLOW
Well, I wouldn't go out and buy a
lottery ticket.. or for that matter,
plan any long plane trips.
(tapping the keys on her
laptop)
According to Ethan, the vamps were
taking him towards the north-east
sector of the town but there's
nothing there that's big enough to
match what Ethan was describing.
BUFFY
(to Giles)
You think Ethan was lying?
GILES
Doubtful. He can be surprisingly
truthful when threatened with pain.
XANDER
Besides, we can't really trust town
records. I'd betcha that the
Master.. I mean, Dracula's big old
castle wasn't in the town database.
CHRISTOPHER
Well, we obviously have to take a
look. I suggest we break up into
groups of two and cover every square
inch of that area until we find it.
The group looks at Chris and then turn to Giles.
GILES
(after a beat)
We'll break into groups of two and
cover every square inch of that
area.. until we find it.
XANDER
(to Giles)
Good plan.
Christopher gets up and walks away. The meeting breaks
up. Buffy gets up and heads upstairs while the rest of
the gang linger a little longer.
ANYA
(to Xander and Giles)
We don't have to do this right away
right? I mean this is the time for
mistletoe, and reindeers and fa la
las and yuletide carols. Surely
there's an 'X'-mas 'X'-emption.
XANDER
An, you have to understand..
GILES
No, Anya's right.
WILLOW
She is?
GILES
We need a break. All of us. These
past two years..
(a beat, then melancholy)
Days like these make up for all the
bad days.. at least, they're meant
to.
Giles gets up and leaves. Willow, Tara and Xander
looking a little glum. Anya perks up.
ANYA
Well, you heard the man. I say we
dash over to the North Pole and pick
up some goodies from Santa's
workshop for Buffy and Dawn, help
brighten up the place.
TARA
The North Pole?
XANDER
The mall.
WILLOW
Santa's workshop?
XANDER
Sears.
ANYA
(exuberant)
Yes, I have to bring some Christmas
cheer and spirit to Buffy. We'll get
some decorations, and ornaments, and
Xander can pick up a tree and we can
start putting up the glitter this
afternoon and..oh Dawn can get the
kids to put on the finishing
touches. This is going to be so much
fun! We're going to instill the
spirit of Christmas back into a lost
soul.
WILLOW
Where are we, Bedford Falls?
TARA
I think it's a good idea. I mean,
it's Buffy and Dawnie's first
Christmas without their mom. It can
be a little strange.
ANYA
Good, it's settled! So, saddle up
buckaroos. We'll meet you guys at
the sleigh.
XANDER
The car.
WILLOW
Got it.
Anya and Xander leaves. Willow looks less than cheery.
TARA
What's the matter?
WILLOW
Nothing really, it's just, I don't
feel real Christmasy this year. You
know, what with the army of the dead
at our doorstep.
TARA
I think Mr Giles is right.
Sometimes, you just have to leave
everything behind, only if it's for
a little while, otherwise..
WILLOW
I know, you're right. I'm still not
wild about going to the Christmas
Eve party at the Bronze tonight
though.
TARA
No?
WILLOW
Yeah. I know it'll be good for Buffy
and all but, you know, we seem to be
going to a lot of parties recently
and let me tell you, too many demony
gate-crashers.
TARA
Well, you know, technically, we
kinda crashed their Halloween and..
(off Willow's look)
totally not the point. You were
saying?
WILLOW
I was blabbering. Don't mind me, I'm
just being irrational gal. Still, I
think I'd rather spend tonight
cuddled up with a book, and you.
TARA
(playfully)
Hey, we're all cuddled up and all
you want to do is read a book?
WILLOW
(smiling)
Well, okay. Lose the book.
It's not like people should spend
Christmas Eve reading anyway.
INT. GENERAL'S MANSION/SOLOMON'S ROOM - DAY
CLOSE ON : A BOOK - 'A CHRISTMAS CAROL'
WIDEN :
to reveal Solomon sitting in his chair, reading
through the book. Dark and gloomy room.
The door opens. Sasha enters as Solomon hastily puts
his book away. Sasha notices. She comes over and picks
up the book.
SASHA
(reading the title)
'A Christmas Carol'?
SOLOMON
They're just words.
SASHA
If they're just words, why read it?
Solomon snatches the book away from Sasha and puts it
in a box, hidden away in a corner. We see the box
filled with various random items.
Sasha, not letting it go, saunters over to the box,
and starts rummaging through it.
SASHA
All these little trophies..
ANGLE ON : SASHA'S HAND
as she reaches in and picks up various items. A ring,
an engraved watch 'To Simon, with all my love,
Deidra', a wallet-sized picture of an unknown family.
SASHA
If the General ever found out you've
started collecting again..
Sasha puts the items away and walks over to Solomon.
SASHA
Do you still have the dreams? Do
they still whisper their little
lies?
Solomon is quiet for a beat, then..
SOLOMON
I don't understand any of it. Why,
after so long?
SASHA
Give it time. It takes longer for
some.
(then earnestly)
But you have to realise, that that
part of you is dead. You can never
go back to that life. Even if you
tried, every fibre of your body, of
your mind would scream out against
it.
Sasha puts her face next to Solomon's.
SASHA
(quietly)
It's a dead star my sweet. You may
still be able to see the light but
the star has long burnt out. Let it
go.
Solomon sits impassively.
SASHA
Come. The General calls.
Sasha walks towards the door.
SOLOMON
(not looking at Sasha)
Did you ever?.. Do you still dream?
SASHA
No. There's nothing sadder than a
butterfly who still dreams of being
a caterpillar.
Sasha exits. Solomon continues to sit, deep in
thought.
INT. GENERAL'S MANSION - DAY
In another part of the mansion, in a large room, we
see Tarwin and Flix. Tarwin is sitting and cleaning
his pole-axe (you heard me). Flix is walking around, a
bad case of cabin fever, playing with her knife. Some
vamps are walking to and fro, in and out of the room.
FLIX
You know what I hate about being a
vamp? The waiting. Always waiting.
Waiting for night, waiting to feed,
waiting to play. Waiting..
Flix looks over at Tarwin who is ignoring her. Flix
comes over to Tarwin, standing in his personal space.
FLIX
Waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting..
Tarwin continues to try to ignore her but is starting
to look agitated.
FLIX
(getting louder)
waiting, waiting, WAITING, WAITING
(then screaming)
WAITING!
TARWIN
Shut up girl!
Flix giggles happily.
FLIX
(teasingly)
Oh Tarwin. Where's the fun? You
remember fun don't you? Come on.
Leave your axe alone for a second so
we can play.
Tarwin ignores her.
FLIX
Please?
No response from Tarwin. Flix walks over to Tarwin
again, giggling.
FLIX
(getting louder)
Please? Please? Please? PLEASE?
PLEASE? PL..
With impressive speed, an angry Tarwin snaps out his
arm and grabs Flix by her throat.
TARWIN
(slowly, menacingly)
Shut up.
Flix looks down at Tarwin's hand and then back up to
Tarwin.
FLIX
(smiling, coyly)
Wanna make me?
Tarwin glares and snarls.
INT. GENERAL'S MANSION/THRONE ROOM - DAY
CLOSE : THE GENERAL'S FACE
not looking terribly pleased. He is sitting on his
throne.
THE GENERAL
(threateningly)
Tell me again why you think my plan
is flawed.
REVERSE ANGLE :
Medium shot (chest up) of Sasha and Solomon. Sasha is
standing close to the General in the foreground while
Solomon is standing further back in the background.
SASHA
(fearful but managing to
keep composed)
That's not what I'm saying. I'm
simply suggesting we pay a little
more attention to the slayer and her
friends.
THE GENERAL
And I've already decided that we
should concentrate on preparing for
the ritual. He will arrive soon
enough.
We see the General then bite down on an arm in front
of him, feeding. Solomon and Sasha look down at the
General, waiting for him to finish, then..
SASHA
It wouldn't take up much of our
time. We have more than enough
manpower to..
THE GENERAL
(to Sasha)
Don't you like the view?
SASHA
The view?
THE GENERAL
from where you are standing. Perhaps
you'd like to see what the world
looks like from this throne, because
if I'm not mistaken,
(suddenly shouting in a
furious rage)
ONLY THE PERSON SITTING IN THIS
CHAIR DECIDES WHAT WE DO.
A beat as Sasha and Solomon reel from the outburst.
SOLOMON
General, she didn't mean..
SASHA
(cutting in)
The slayer is the only person that
stands between us and our destiny.
She has lasted longer than any other
slayer we know of. There is a danger
here.
THE GENERAL
The only reason the slayer is still
alive is because we haven't returned
till now.
SASHA
But..
ANGLE : GENERAL
as he cuts her off with a wave of his hand. We see him
biting down on the arm again, much harder this time,
feeding voraciously.
PAN UP:
from the arm to reveal it is Sasha's arm. She grimaces
as the General continues to feed.
ANGLE : SOLOMON
looking on with some concern.
ANGLE : SASHA
starting to look a little distressed and weak.
SASHA
(quietly to the General)
General..
She tries to pull her arm away but the General holds
on tight with his hands and continues to feed, his
blood lust taking over.
SOLOMON
(loudly)
General.
The General finally stops, looking up at Solomon and
than at Sasha. He calms down and releases Sasha. Sasha
steps back next to Solomon.
THE GENERAL
(to Solomon)
Tell me Solomon, what do you believe
we should do?
SOLOMON
I believe what you believe General.
THE GENERAL
(smiling)
Very well.
(to Sasha)
If you want to play with the slayer,
you go right ahead. I'll leave it to
you to deal with her, so long as it
doesn't interfere with our
preparations. Our time is near.
From off-screen, we suddenly hear some noises. The
General, Solomon and Sasha head out to investigate.
INT. GENERAL'S MANSION - DAY
The three enter the room. They see a smiling Flix, a
tiny little thing, lifting a helpless Tarwin off the
floor by his neck.
THE GENERAL
(scoldingly)
Flix!
FLIX
(to the General)
We're just playing. He said he
wanted to play.
Tarwin lashes out with his arms and legs, trying to
get free.
FLIX
(to Tarwin)
Now, now. Don't be naughty. You know
what I do to my dolls when they're
naughty? I pull off their arms, and
then their legs.. and then their
heads.
(a beat, smiling at
Tarwin)
Wanna see if I can pull yours off?
We see Flix's hand tighten around Tarwin's neck.
Tarwin starting to choke.
The General watches with a smile for a beat, then..
THE GENERAL
Enough! Put him down.
Flix does so reluctantly. Tarwin crumples in a heap to
the floor, breathing hard.
FLIX
(to the General, all sad)
I'm sorry.
THE GENERAL
(smiling, arms wide open)
No need to be sorry, Come here.
Flix happily runs to the General, hugging him.
THE GENERAL
I know you're just a little wound
up. Have patience, soon I will
unleash you onto this sorry place
and they will all see just what you
can do. In the meantime, I have a
present for you.
FLIX
(really happy)
A present?
The General points to something off-screen. Flix looks
over, sees her present and beams with delight. She
squeals and runs off-screen towards her present. The
General follows. We're left with Sasha, Solomon and a
still recovering Tarwin.
SASHA
(to Tarwin)
I told you size didn't matter.
Tarwin growls angrily at Sasha, picks up his pole-axe
and goes somewhere else to lick his wounds.
SOLOMON
You shouldn't challenge the General
like that.
SASHA
I have to. Power can blind so
easily. I have to be his eyes.
SOLOMON
You shouldn't..
SASHA
I can look after myself.
SOLOMON
So, you're going to attack the
slayer tonight?
SASHA
No sweetness. Tonight, we'll
introduce ourselves to her friends,
her family. We'll nibble around the
edges and watch as her perfect
little gingerbread world crumbles
down around her.
SOLOMON
(interest piqued)
I want to come.
SASHA
(a beat, regarding
Solomon, then smiling)
I know you do dear. I know you do.
BLACKOUT
END OF ACT ONE
CONTINUE TO ACT TWO