Choosing a major can be tough. After all, this is what you're (allegedly) going to be doing for the rest of your life! If you just can't decide because your general education classes are grossly underfunded and not providing you an accurate sense of what upper division classes of the sort will be like, allow me to make a suggestion: choose your major based on the stupid database names that supply information for certain subjects. Here is a cursory list of subjects and their respective databases. You may have to look into it a bit deeper, but this list should be enough to get you started.
Rambi is a pretty stupid name for a database, but I think American literature just found its next great hero(ine?).
I was once a civil engineering major, and let me tell you, stay as far away as you possibly can. This database name is both indicative of the civil engineering major and deceiving at the same time. On the one hand, "IEEE" (aye-ee) is what you'll be screaming every time your triple integral equation on Mathcad doesn't work out. On the other hand, "Xplore" would lead you to believe that civil engineering is Xtreme and super cool, but it's not. Unless you're an Xtreme masochist, I suggest you search for your destiny elsewhere.
This major is for you if you're a pompous asshole. Only a Classics database would be given such an airy name. Why not just "Classics Database," or at most, "Database de Classique"? They might as well have named their database, "We're Better Than You Because We Read the Iliad Without Falling Asleep Every Two Pages." Well woody woo woo for you! Good luck finding a job, asshole.
Exactly what you'll become if you bang a girl who is a communication major. I'm pretty sure EBSCO is what they're going to name the next major STD that is discovered, and they just figured that it would be most prevalent amongst communication majors, since they're the ones who are in college "just to have a good time."
Hey, look! English lITERature! Ha! Stupid.
I'm surprised that there even exists a database for exercise science. I mean, can there really be that much information for a P.E. teacher to know?
It's always good to throw in a little cross-cultural flare when trying to take other people's money. That way, when they pen their name on the contract, they'll be under the impression that they're not signing away their life's work to some hegemonic Yankee who wants nothing more than to die fat and happy off of someone else's hard work, thanks to your use of half-English words like "factiva."
Look nerds, words and numbers are different things with different rules. Just because "2xy" can mean something intelligible in your world doesn't mean "MathSciNet" means something intelligible in ours.
...and this database name submission passed how?
Not surprisingly, the cola industry has successfully infiltrated the nutrition academia in hopes of propagating the nutritional value of its product.
Pronounced "jay stone," this describes with precision exactly what you need to do to get through your political science classes.
I think this is the ledger which holds records on how many airheaded people choose to major in psychology because "it sounded interesting."
Or not.
Hopefully I've in essence refunded the money you wasted on university general education. If you still have no idea what you want to do with your life, look into begging. You get to be your own boss, set your own hours, move your office as often as you like, and it's all tax free! What could be better!
© 2007 Pflanzenfaser