EPISODE: Emancipation
AUTHOR: Phantom Chic
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
SPOILERS: Everything that's aired, just to be safe. Even if I haven't
actually seen it all.
NOTES: This is the 20th review in the DS series.

*****

1. That's a beautiful view of Vancouver through the binoculars. Jack better
get used to seeing those trees, he'll be seeing remarkably similar ones spread
all throughout the galaxy every week.

2. Do you think it was in Richard Dean Anderson's contract that he got to wear
a baseball cap and sunglasses while Amanda Tapping and Michael Shanks were
stuck with the always attractive and comfortable helmets and goggles?

3. How cute, a boy and his dogs out for a nice midday jog. Too bad SG-1 had to come
along and break-up their playtime just because the puppies were getting frisky.

4. So after all the trouble Daniel had to go to learn Abydonian, the Mongol
descendants just happen to speak perfect modern English. And even understand a
relatively slangy term like 'ok'. At least on Farscape they established the
translator microbes right off the bat to explain why everyone spoke English to
Crighton.

5. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Abu: No, I cannot look at you!
Sam: Now I’m hurt. Why not?
Jack: He's too likeable. It's in my contract that the only guest aliens
allowed to look at my love interest have to be slime balls.
Sam: And yet you get half-dressed alien skanks several times a season. I
have got to get a better agent.

6. Obviously I've been doing musical theatre too long because when Abu
said "take her and go" I immediately started hearing Phantom Of The
Opera. "Take her and go, before it's too late. Go now and leave me!" Which
I could live with if it meant Jack and Sam were about to break into a reprise
of "All I Ask Of You".

7. Even in fatigues and that ugly helmet everyone knows Sam is a woman
immediately. So much for the old Shakespearean convention of women in pants
and short hair being assumed to be men. And Sam would've made such a good
Rosalind.

8. Now Jack wants to compete to see who has the best drugs? I'm thinking the
answer is whoever's supplying the crack that the writers at Angel have been
smoking for the last two years or maybe continuity-deficient crack monkeys writing Charmed.

9. Jack is way too eager to see Sam dressed in "suitable attire". Why do I
suspect he was hoping for some Princess Jasmine-y thing with a bare midriff?
Not that I blame him when you consider there's already a character in this
episode named after Aladdin's monkey.

10. Somehow I think that by "better luck next time", Sam means she's hoping to
run into some Amazons who will make Jack her slave. Unfortunately for her,
The Lost World has already done that episode. Not that a little thing like
that has ever stopped the Stargate writers before.

11. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Jack: You gonna be all right?
Sam: Still doubting me? I haven't been afraid of the dark since I was two.
Jack: That's too bad, I was hoping you might like a little company.
Sam: Now that you mention it, I think I did see a monster under the bed.
Why don't you come over here and check with me? Jack: As you wish.

12. Either that dress is a lot more constricting than it looks, or that
headdress is weighing down her cerebral cortex, because Sam should still have
been able to take out Abu with a few good kicks. No matter how well he had
her hands tied.

13. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Daniel: How is it that you always come up with the worse case scenario?
Jack: It's called reading the scripts. Maybe if you tried it every now and
then you wouldn't die so often.

14. That blue dress definitely looks better without the Vegas-reject
headdress. Still would've been better without the shoulder pads though.
Why can't costumers just leave some design elements from '80s in the fashion
graveyard where they belong?

15. Nice knife. Did Turgen buy it from a Klingon garage sale?

16. Aah, so Abu is just a crazy kid in love? Well that completely excuses
his kidnapping the woman who saved his life and selling her into slavery.

17. Just a thought, Sam, but you might have a better chance of sneaking into
the forest if you weren't wearing bright blue with shiny metal decor on your
head. You'd think a military brat would know a little more about camouflage.

18. "My father is a good man"? If that's true then the Aurelius clan is a
perfect little nuclear family. How many scars do you think it took for her
to buy into that little piece of propaganda? No wonder she thinks Abu is
such a prince.

19. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Jack: Oh, there's not a chance in hell. He lays one finger on her and I'll
do something to him they can only show on Showtime.
Daniel: Assuming Sam doesn't beat you to it.
Jack: Well, there it that.

20. Danny really should learn to think before he speaks. All that stuff
about Carter being a powerful shaman could just make her seem more valuable.

21. More proof of how perfect for each other Jack and Sam are: they both get
very destructive when they're proving a point.

22. P3X-595 and that stuff that made Sam take off...something. The line
that launched a thousand fanfics.

23. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Daniel: Do we have the right to interfere in their customs or reinterpret
their laws?
Sam: Spare me the Prime Directive. I'm in Janeway mode.

24. I love it when Sam gets a chance to go all Slayer on someone's ass.
Though I bet she could end it faster if she didn't have that bulky vest
constricting her movements.

25. A six day wedding? Jack's passing up a lot of chances for free wine and
possibly some really bad karaoke and line dancing.

26. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Teal'c: What is an Oprah?
Jack: It's kind of like an Uma. Only not really.
Sam: No more Letterman for you, sir.


Phantom Chic

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