TITLE: Forever In A Day
AUTHOR: Phantom Chic
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: Review, Humor
DESCRIPTION: A sarcastic commentary on "Forever In A Day"
SPOILERS: um, FIAD
ARCHIVE: SJD
DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
FEEDBACK: Ooh, please! I cannot overemphasize how much feedback
does not suck. Just remember to put "review feedback" or something similar in
the subject line so it will make it past my mail filters.
NOTES: This is the 16th in my Dripping Sarcasm series of reviews.

*****

1. Welcome to the latest entry in the Danny-on-a-headtrip saga. Someday I'm
sure they'll figure out a different way to do his character development episodes.

2. The Goa'uld must get their armor from the same place as Imperial
Stormtroopers if it can't even stand up to Danny shooting a handgun from 10
yards away. Which makes sense since they obviously learned to shoot in the
same place too.

3. Sam gets a rocket launcher? And the Jaffa don't even have that "no
weapons forged" thing going for them.

4. Aah, Jack gets a mini-tank. The SGC must have hooked up with Tonka.
Maybe next they'll get the motorized Barbie Dream Car.

5. At least Sha're got a kick-ass ensemble for her last episode. Maybe
Ammounet should give Hathor a few fashion tips.

6. With as many times as Danny's had a ribbon device to his head, it's amazing
his brains aren't scrambled eggs. Although that might explain his bad taste
in babes-of-the-week and tendency towards hallucinations.

7. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny: "The demon inside your daughter will help her rise again."
Kasuf: "Is this true?"
Jack: "Well, she won't be able to go out in sunlight and she may develop a
penchant for black leather, but sure. Oh, remind me to get a government chip
for her head so she doesn't eat you."
Teal'c: "Wrong show, O'Neill."
Jack: "Right. Sorry. Not this time, then."

8. Danny's hallucination sure thinks highly of SG1 if he thinks they could
wipe out that entire army of Jaffa. Oops, did I give away the plot twist?

9. Danny's thoughts while waiting for Sam to make her entrance in the
infirmary: "There is no pen. There is no pen."

10. A five-minute discussion of a ballpoint pen? What do they think this
is, The West Wing?

11. You'd think by Season 3 they would have given Danny his own private room
in the infirmary. Or at least let him bring in his own pillows and blankets.

12. So Danny wakes up to Sha're on one side of his bed and Janet on the
other? Wonder if he's had that fantasy before...

13. Wow, Danny gets to be the first character given a birthday.
Guess they decided the Danielites deserved a special day of worship.

14. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny: "So I was dreaming before."
Jack: "You didn't dream about that guy with the cheese, did you?"

15. Jack, maybe you should consider that calling your friend a geek
may not be the best way to convince him to stick around.

16. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Teal'c: "Is there not some form of human ritual by which I may ask your forgiveness?"
Danny: "Do the chicken dance in a pink tutu in the Gateroom and we'll call it even."
Teal'c: "Have a nice life."

17. Wow, Danny's apartment is even more cluttered now than when SG1 went
through it after his first "death". I would have bet against that being
possible.

18. They sure get a lot of mileage out of that shot of Ammounet with the
ribbon device in this episode. Can we say "padding"?

19. I don't care if it's authentic or not, that little mouse on the burial
scale is just ridiculous. Have they been watching Disney movies on Abydos?

20. It's so nice that Danny is willing to give up on any hope of saving his
brother-in-law now that Sha're is dead. What a loving family.

21. Now Rothman is supposed to be "way smarter than [Jack] is" too?
That's really insulting. And in no way supported by actual evidence.

22. At this point Danny should really know better than to just ask Sam how
something works unless he's got a few hours to kill. Or really wants to annoy
Jack.

23. REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny: "I think Sha're was trying to send a message to me through the hand device."
Sam: "What message?"
Danny: "Buy milk. And something about AOL being the antichrist."

24. So Jack can pick locks? It's nice to see he remembers a few things from
his MacGyver days.

25. For a supposed genius, it's sure taking Danny a lot of visions of Sha're
to figure out he's in a big dream.

26. There should be a limit to the number of times you can say "deja vu" in
one scene.

27. That's one fun Technicolor planet Danny dreamed up. Are we sure he's not
still on drugs?

28. Someone please explain to me why Danny's dream includes events he's not
present for. Other than a pathetic attempt to make us think this episode is
actually happening.

29. Isn't it amazing that Sha're and Danny both know that Teal'c was going
to shoot her and can incorporate it into the dreams before he enters the tent?