TITLE:  Out of My Sarcastic Mind
AUTHOR:  Phantom Chic
RATING:  PG
CATEGORY:  Review, Humor
DESCRIPTION:  A sarcastically shippy commentary on "Out Of Mind"
SPOILERS:  um, Out Of Mind
ARCHIVE:  SJA, Heliopolis, Gate Philes
DISCLAIMER: Showtime . . . yadda, yadda, yadda . . . Double Secret
& Gekko . . . blah, blah, blah.  Not mine.
FEEDBACK: Ooh, please! I can not emphasize how much feedback
does not suck. Just make sure the subject line says "review feedback"
or something similar so it will make it past my mail filters.
NOTES:  This is the 8th in my Dripping Sarcasm series of reviews.

1.  So basically, Hathor just had the team frozen for kicks and
giggles, right?

2.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Trofsky:  "I'd imagine everyone you knew is probably dead."
Jack:  "But what about Cassie?  We just saw an old version of her
who told us our journey was just beginning."
Trofsky:  "Um, would you believe alternate universe?"

3.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Trofsky:  "Can you think of any reason why the Goa'uld would
have saved your life and sent you back?"
Jack:  "Other than to annoy the crap out of me?"

4.  Aah, you gotta love the annual clip show episode.  At least it's
better than Politics.

5.  The producers finally bow to audience demands to show the
cast wet and naked.  We all knew this episode was just an excuse
for the gratuitous Danny-chest shots.

6.  Don't Jack, Danny, and Sam do wonderful fish-out-of-water
impressions?

7.  Is there a reason why Sam doesn't get clothes when she wakes
up, other than so Jack can see her?  I didn't think so.

8.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Sam:  "Apophis?  Isn't he dead?"
Raully:  "No, actually he's the Goa'uld's version of Daniel.  No
matter how many times we kill him he keeps coming back."

9.  How is it that Danny remembers things he wasn't actually
present for?

10.  It must be so reassuring to Hammond to know that Teal'c's
loyalty is to Jack and SG1, not to the SGC.  And we thought Sam
and Jack were going to be the conflict of interest.

11.  So it's Sam's turn to resign next, right?  Cause now everyone
else on the team has done it.

12.  Those guards must be complete wimps if Jack can beat them up
in his half-drugged condition.

13.  Oh, look, they finally got a chance to reuse the set from last
season's finale.  So nice that every Goa'uld uses that same easy-to-
hide-in architecture.

14.  Try not to think too much?  Yeah, cause Sam never does that.

15.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Sam:  "The drugs must have prevented me from sensing the
Naquada.  Colonel?  Uh, Colonel, my eyes are up here."

16.  I don't think Jack's eyes left her chest for more than half a
second from the time she sat up until the end of the scene.  But
that's just because he's a man, right?

17.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Jack:  "We don't want that."
Sam:  "Um, Colonel?"
Jack:  "It's my sidearm, I swear."

18.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny:  "I have more questions, but that can wait."
Jack:  "Wow, you must really be drugged up.  Think we can take
some of this stuff home with us?"

19.  "Damn cost cutters."  Yes, Jack you just have to hate those
pesky Goa'uld bureaucrats who decided doors really don't have to
go anywhere.  On the other hand, Goa'uld ships made by the lowest
bidder would explain why it's so easy to blow them up.

20.  And when did the Goa'uld get personal cloaking technology? 
Has Hathor been hanging out with the Ree'tou?

21.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Sam:  "We know more than you do.  Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah-nyah."

22.  LINGERING CLIFFHANGER QUESTIONS: 
Where did Hathor get that CGI dragon-headed snake?  What
happened to the little grayish-white ones?  Is that thing supposed to
go into Jack or eat him?  How will a Goa'uld handle that level of
sarcasm?  Tune in next season.  Same snake time, same snake
channel.