TITLE:  Through A Sarcastic Mirror
AUTHOR:  Phantom Chic
RATING:  PG
CATEGORY:  Review, Humor
DESCRIPTION:  A sarcastically shippy commentary on "There But For
The Grace Of God"
SPOILERS:  um, TBFTGOG
ARCHIVE:  SJA, Heliopolis, Gate Philes
DISCLAIMER: ShowTime . . . yadda, yadda, yadda . . . Double Secret
& Gekko . . . blah, blah, blah.  Not mine.
FEEDBACK: Ooh, please! I can not emphasize how much feedback
does not suck. Just make sure the subject line says "review feedback"
or something similar so it will make it past my mail filters.
NOTES:  Thanks to Heather for her reassurances that I'm not completely wasting my
time.

1.  Never seen that camera before.  If this wasn't Season 1, I'd say
they'd been watching the Blair Witch Project.

2.  You'd think Daniel would learn not to touch everything.  "A
mirror with no reflection that does God knows what:  hmm, I think
I'll touch it."

3.  Danny's first thought on coming through the Gate:  "All right,
all right, from now on I'll follow when Jack says to leave."

4.  From his reaction I'd say it takes Danny about half the ep to
figure out this isn't an elaborate April Fools joke or a "wacky,
wacky dream."

5.  Someone want to explain to me what those little hand-walking
gestures he's doing are on "I'm a member of SG-1."  When did
Stargate become a puppet show?

6.  Danny, telling Catherine that you belong here and she doesn't
isn't a real good way to convince her you're telling the truth.  It is
however a good way to tick her off and get yourself locked up until
the world ends.

7.  "Voyager is still en route."  What?!?  So this universe is part of
a Star Trek crossover?  And I would've bet that Janeway could beat
the Goa'uld, they're not nearly as tough as the Borg.

8.  So as long as you name the facility SGC you're safe, but if you
name it SGA you're snake-meat?  Now we know what it takes to
keep the world safe:  Sam gets a haircut,  Danny and Janet hang
around, and rename the facility.

9.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny:  "Maybe I've completely lost my mind here, but as far as I'm
concerned we know each other very well.  You know everything I
know."
Jack:  "Obviously you have lost your mind, because in no universe
have I ever understood ancient languages or your fascination with
rocks."

10.  Well, this ep should blow a big hole in the NoRomo argument
about an S/J relationship screwing up the team dynamic.  The
world's about to end and still Sam and Jack maintain such an
orderly working relationship that without the hug before he goes on
his suicide mission, you'd never know they were engaged.  She even
calls Jack 'Sir'.  Pity Danny never mentions that part to anyone.

11.  Does it seem odd to anyone else that Catherine and Samantha,
two civilian scientists, are giving orders to military personnel and
have all the security codes?  Oh well, we knew this universe was
screwed up.

12.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny:  "Uh-oh.  I think I'm dead."
Samantha:  "Only if you keep annoying Jack.  But don't worry, you
always come back."

13.  Is it just me, or does that outfit make Samantha look pregnant? 
There's a new twist to the alternate reality.

14.  Could Danny sound any cockier pointing out to Catherine that
she didn't learn to speak ancient Egyptian on Abydos?

15.  Jack's first thought when he sees the video:  "Sam looks great
with short hair and fatigues."  Samantha's first thought:  "What is
with that hair?"

16.  Obviously this universe is devoid of logic, as nobody considers
that they could send Danny and an unactivated bomb to the beta
site with everybody on base and then go from there to the mirror
and the Goa'uld address.

17.  From the look on his face, I'd say Hammond spends most of
this episode pissed off from realizing that he's supposed to be in
command instead of Jack.  "General?  I'm supposed to be General? 
Dammit, why'd I have to end up in the universe where I'm a
Colonel?"

18.  Go reason with the guy whose family you just killed, Jack. 
Yeah, that'll work.

19.  From that look Jack gives Samantha, I'd say the reason he goes
along with Danny's plan is to give their alternates a chance for
happiness.  Too bad Danny didn't tell them that either.

20.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Jack:  "All I have to do is buy a little time, right?  Okay, well maybe
I can teach Teal'c how to juggle.  Maybe teach him a little slang, a
few earth expressions.  That could work."

21.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Catherine:  "I take it they're not engaged in your reality."
Danny:  "No.  I mean, okay, there was his reaction to the blue
dress, and the whole virus-locker room-thing, and the fact that he
beat me up in a jealous rage, and Antarctica, and a load of sexual
tension, but still there's nothing between them.  All right, so in my
world they're just idiots who are slow on the uptake."

22.  Samantha crying as Jack leaves to see Teal'c:  we've all just
witnessed the moment at which Danny became a shipper.

23.  "Don't shoot.  I'm unarmed.  See there's nothing under my hat,
which I know you all thought was a dangerous weapon."

24.  Good God, what is up with Teal'c's ponytail?  Only way it could
be worse would be if he had a white goatee too.

25.  So obviously the remote control is unnecessary and was just a
way to kill Samantha and make sure Danny was the only main
character to make it out of that universe alive. I've seen this
somewhere before. Oh yeah, Buffy's Wishverse. At least the main
cast didn't all kill each other in this one.

26.  The greatest last words ever in Stargate:  "Oh yeah, I also wish
to blow us all to hell."  You go girl!

27.  I really wish the computer would have said "Have a nice day" at
the end of the countdown before it blew up the base.  That always
makes for an amusing end to self-destruct sequences.

28.  Wasn't it nice of Danny to yell right when he came through the
mirror so they could find him?

29.  REJECTED DIALOGUE:
Danny:  "We're all in very big trouble.  Especially you Teal'c.  I
can't believe you shot me!  But anyway, they're coming!  They're
coming!  Maybourne and the IRS!"