TITLE:  Mulder-Doo, Where Are You?
AUTHOR:  Phantom Chic
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: Humor
SPOILERS:  Requiem
ARCHIVAL:  Ephemeral, Gossamer, Spooky's, Gate-Philes
DISCLAIMER: Does anyone really read these?  Mulder, Scully, the
Gunmen, etc. belong to their actors, Carter, and Ten-Thirteen. 
Scooby-Doo belongs to Hanna-Barbera.
SUMMARY: The X-Files, Scooby-Doo style.
FEEDBACK: Will be rewarded with a Spooky Snack.
Just make sure the subject line says "fic feedback"
or something similar so it will make it past my mail filters.
NOTES:  I wanted to write a different kind of post-Req, so I
thought back to my old favorite Scooby-Doo.  Special thanks to
Jenniferanne for the great beta.  You're the best!

*****

"Mulder-Doo, where are you?" Scully called into the dark forest. 
"If you come here right now I'll give you a Spooky Snack," she
added, holding up a bag of sunflower seeds.  She shook her head in
frustration and a detached part of her mind absently noted that her
red hair was tied back with a scarf, and even longer than it had been
when she first met Mulder.  She looked down and noted that
instead of a suit she was wearing a purple mini-dress and go-go
boots.

Just then she caught sight of her partner through the trees.  He was
bounding towards her with a big puppy dog grin on his face.  Scully
could see her cross hanging from what looked like a blue dog collar
around his neck.  Before he reached the edge of the copse of trees,
he suddenly stopped still in his tracks as though frozen.  Two gray
aliens came out of the woods on either side and took hold of him. 
They steered him toward a bright light as they vanished from view
in the fog.  Scully turned around and yelled in the direction of the
Lone Gunmen's van parked behind her.  "Jeepers!  Langly, Byers,
Frohike, the aliens have taken Mulder!"  The three Gunmen jumped
out of the blue-green van painted with big flowers and ran over to
join her.

"Zoinks!" yelped Langly, his hair flopping around as he ran over in
a pair of brown bellbottoms and a loose green shirt.  "Where'd they
go?"

"We have to go after him!" Byers exclaimed.  He was dressed in
blue bellbottoms, a big-collared white shirt, and had an orange scarf
around his neck.

"I'm not going in there!" Langly protested, "It's dark and there
might be more aliens."

Scully held up the bag of seeds again.  "I'll give you a handful of
Spooky Snacks," she offered, temptingly.

"Make it two handfuls and you've got a deal," Langly bargained. 
He held out both hands and she poured seeds into them.  He began
gobbling them down as he followed the others in creeping single file
into the dark woods, Scully leading the way.

"This is where he was when they grabbed him!" Scully announced
as she brought the line to an abrupt halt.  They spread out and
began looking around.

"Jinkies!  Look at this." Frohike called their attention to the spot
where he knelt, for some reason wearing an orange sweater and
short brown skirt.  "Russian coins.  Are they Mulder's?"

"No, he hasn't been to Russia for years." Scully said, shaking her
head.

"Then it must be a clue," Frohike concluded.

"And look," Scully exclaimed, "a trail of sunflower seed shells. 
Let's follow it."  They began creeping along following the path
Mulder-Doo had left them.  Finally they came to the edge of
clearing, in which stood a large UFO.  Below it they could see the
two grays trying to force Mulder-Doo into the circle of light
underneath it.  Quickly concocting a plan, Scully, Byers, and
Frohike began creeping along just out of sight of those in the
clearing until the were on the opposite side of the clearing as
Langly, with Mulder-Doo and the aliens positioned directly
between their positions.  When Scully signaled Langly with her
flashlight, he stepped out and began yelling at the aliens to draw
their attention.  When the two grays had turned to Langly, the rest
of the gang ran out from their cover and grabbed them from behind. 
Scully went to Mulder and kissed him, bringing him out of his
trance-like state.

"Hey, Scully," he said, surprised, "Ruh-roh.  Rut's going on?"

"Hey, these aren't real aliens!  They're wearing rubber costumes!" 
Byers exclaimed.

"We've found the leaders of the conspiracy."  Scully said, moving
from her place by Mulder's side to stand in front of the two 'aliens'. 
She reached out with both hands and pulled off their masks.  "Alex
Krycek and Marita Covarrubius!"

"And we would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you
meddling agents and your geeky sidekicks in the bad 70s clothes."
Krycek said, bitterly.

Frohike, Langly and Byers led the two would-be aliens away and
Scully and Mulder-Doo trailed behind them, hand in hand.  "Rou
ront rour cross back, Scully?" Mulder asked.

"You can keep it a little longer, Mulder.  That collar wouldn't look
good with this outfit."  Scully smiled at him.

"Hey, let's go for cheese steaks."  Langly called up ahead.

*****

"Scully?"

As she struggled towards consciousness, Scully could feel someone
shaking her shoulder.  She pried her eyes open and stared up into
Langly's amused face.  She looked around and realized that she was
on the couch in front of the TV at the Lone Gunmen's.  "What?"
she managed to get out. 

"You want some cheese steaks?" he asked.

"No thanks, Shaggy."  Scully said, sleepily.

"Um, Shaggy?"  Langly looked at her as though she had lost it.

"Nothing.  A dream," she said, waking up as she realized what she'd
said.

"Well, that's what you get when you fall asleep during a Scooby-
Doo marathon," he shrugged.  "So what happened in this dream?  If
I was Shaggy, who was everybody else?"

"Um," Scully looked over Langly's shoulder and saw Byers and
Frohike observing the discussion with interest.  Her mind suddenly
flashed back to the image of Frohike in Thelma's sweater and skirt
saying 'Jinkies!'.  "I think it'd be better if I didn't say anything else." 
Langly shrugged and all three looked slightly disappointed that she
didn't want to share her dream, but they were willing to let it go. 
As Scully began to pull herself up off the couch, the Gunmen
exchanged smiles when they heard her begin to sing softly to
herself.

"Mulder, Mulder-Doo, where are you?  We've got some work to do
now..."

*****
The End.