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Dear reader

Sorry that I didn?t write for such a long time. I was completely busy. First of as I told you before last weekend was Eid. I decided to do nothing, mostly because not because I became lazy, but that I had enough of my so called ?friends? making plans with me and then pulling out at the last minute (note to self, friends suck). Anyways that decision made I decided to buy some vids, CDs, and mags. We went to prayer in the morning, to the Al Amana one. And got back home at about 9.30- 10 ish. I had a massive row with my mum on the way home, as I told her I wanted to go to town and buy a few bibs and bobs. She then started bullocksing me about how I couldn?t stick to one decision and how I went out too much (like that ever happens, she must have mistaken me for some other daughter she had in her before life or something). Anyways I walked away from her and my cuz, in the middle of the argument, when I got fed up and went home. I finally got back and I changed and was about to go out when mum came in and said that I couldn?t go out (can u believe her) and so I didn?t I couldn?t be asked to argue, so I went up to my room (of course wiv a load of sweeties and food) and stayed there for the rest of the day. And in the afternoon I was finally let out. I wasn?t that mad anymore, since I planned to stay home anyways. I just went to try to get some take-away, as nobody wanted to cook (it is of course Eid here), but found no open take-away shops. I bought my mags and sweets though. And in the night we persuaded mum to order pizza. And what a deal it was, two massive X-large pizza, it was a buy one get one free deal, and some chicken. Although I only could eat 3 slices, and I think that was the deal for everyone. Mum wouldn?t allow Ahmed more than two, because he has Hepatitis A (the not so bad one), but that meant that he couldn?t eat much greasy food (he was sick earlier that morning), but he managed to sneakily eat about 5. He so loves to go against what he?s told. Anyways that was day one of Eid.
Eid Day 2 (Monday the 2nd of feb to the rest of the world)
I went out that day to town wiv my bro Ahmed. I first woke at about 1.30 (I like to sleeeep in), we first went to Big W, the one up Coventry road, but found nothing good there. So we moved on to the city centre. First we bought Ahmed a Harry potter Playstation game. Then we went Tipping the Velvet hunting. I really wanted the DVD, and we went around every HMV in town, but found they all sold out, so I finally reserved one. With that done, I went to Dixon and bought a CD player, and then we moved on to the pound shop in the Palisades. We bought a few bibs and bobs i.e. batteries (for my new CD player), ping-pong set, a toy for Omar, and a load of sweets for the kids at home, and I bought Ahmed a personal radio (the cute little ones). When we finally got home, mum bollucksed me about coming late (we where meant to come back early so that I could go to the PC world wiv mum and my unc) Anyways, I told her to forget it, and that we where back and we could go tomorrow. Then I spend the rest of the day in peace.
Day 3 of Eid (Tuesday 3rd of feb to the rest of the world)
Morning I slept in (again), did nothing in the afternoon, and went to PC world in the evening. They told us we needed to book the Health check we wanted. Which was fine enough by me anyways, I wanted my comp wiv me at all times.
Wednesday day 4th of Feb (back to college *sob*)
Got back in college. God I couldn?t wake up, I had to physically drag myself out of bed, that?s how dead I was. Mum was right about it feeling like Monday, even though the week was already half way gone. College was boring as usual. Mr Hornsby was bullocksing me about taking Eid off. Some crap about Eid meaning to be just one day of. But I got him back humiliating him, by saying that he weren?t no Muslim and that this Eid WAS 3 days, whether he liked it or not. Then he kept arguing that you could only take one day of, so I stated the fact that I DID take 2 days off, and I was allowed (in your face a*****e). Then he finally shutted up and got on wiv the lesson. I think he?s jealous that he didn?t get days off, anyways its not like I am stopping him, I would hold a bloody celebration if he took a year off. In the evening I was moody. I was in one of my ?I finally realised I am fat? stage of my womanly thingy. I was brooding like s**t, and when my mum asked why I was down (she noticed that I wasn?t talking as much as usual) I told her the truth. Then she tried to cheer me up, but I wouldn?t have any of it. Then she told me I should do the exercise on the stepping thingy machine she brought if I felt like that, but I still was brooding. And in the end she told me to get over it, and that I should stop brooding and either do something about my so called fatness, or be happy with who I am. I just couldn?t be asked to listen to any of the stuff she was saying. But I decided to finally go on a diet, and try to get proper slim before my birthday in June (remember that and send me prezzies)

Thursday 5th feb 2004 (still in college, God when is the weekend coming)
I was still in my broody moods, and it certainly didn?t help that I was listening to a constant repeating of Pink?s Lonely Girl. The chorus, which goes like this:
Do you even know who you are?
I guess I am trying to find
A borrowed dream or superstar?
I want to be a star
Is life good to you, or is it bad?
I can?t tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
I felt that I didn?t know myself, I still don?t, and that I didn?t know where I was going. So that?s how I related to the chorus, and the whole song. Anyways as I said I kept listening to this song for the rest of the day. And I still felt really bad. And I did feel bad for the whole day, but I tried to disguise it from the other people by putting up a smile, and when they noticed something was wrong and asked I just pushed it aside and asked about their life. I just couldn?t bear to talk to anyone as you are meant to know what to say, but I didn?t even know what to do let alone what to reply to someone asking me ?what?s up?? So I put on my face, and dealt and moved on.
By home time I was a bit better, not completely. BUT, I was totally cheered by who I saw on my walk home form the bus.
You see I decided to take the number 37 bus home and get of near my old school. So on my walk home, I decided to cheer up a bit. That maybe if I put on a happy face, I might start to feel happy on the inside. So I brought a lollypop and put on better and more cheerful songs (18 wheeler and Mizundastood by Pink, ok she can either cheer or depress me) and as I was walking up the road guess who I saw (drum role plz) it was Hinds, OK not exactly like meeting of the year, but that woman always brings a smile on my face, as soon as I see her. We didn't chat much, as we where going in different directions, but just seeing her made my day. She told me she was heading to the dentist so I let her go, as I didn't want to be the cause for her not arriving on time.
And how was YOUR week.