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| ALLAN B. LOPEZ |
| Something Happened |
| THIS IS PART OF THE LITERATURA READING SERIES | CLICK HERE TO GO BACK TO LITERATURA |
| THE AUTHOR HOLDS THE COPYRIGHT TO THIS PLAY. THIS IS POSTED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE AUTHOR. FOR INQUIRIES ON HOW TO SECURE THE PLAYWRIGHT'S PERMISSION TO STAGE THIS PLAY, PLEASE E-MAIL HIM AT THIS ADDRESS. |
| Excerpt From the Full-Length Play CHARACTERS BIANCA ANDREW in their late 20s THERESE GUY HAROLD all in their 30s CRIMSON ROBERTS in his 60s, a Nepalese migrant GOMEZ LIM men in their early 20s The play takes place in a large but not so attractive apartment in Upper East Side, New York City A door leading to the toilet at one end; door leading out of the apartment offstage at the other end. Spiral staircase upstage right . PROLOGUE Near midnight. Several cups on the dining table. An open door leading to the toilet. An open window leading to the fire escape. Sounds of a game show coming from the old-fashioned tv. GOMEZ sits by the table, drinking a cup of coffee. LIM sits on a lazy chair in front of the tv. He plays with the volume, turning it up and down. They’re both in well-ironed suits. GOMEZ The coffee here tastes different. LIM Tastes the same to me. GOMEZ No. It seems odd. LIM Do you like it? GOMEZ Maybe. I’m not very sure. LIM (looks at his watch) What time is it? I forgot to change the time when they said so on the plane. GOMEZ I’m not very sure. (checks out his own watch, then looks at the window) I think I forgot to change the time too. It’s definitely not 11 in the morning. (stands) You know what, we might consider living here. New York seems to be a friendly city. Nice people. LIM (finally turns off tv) It’s too noisy for me. GOMEZ It’s just that we have the windows open. LIM It’s cold too. I don’t like cold places. GOMEZ All you need to do is close the windows and it won’t be cold anymore. They have to keep the windows closed here. LIM It’ll smell. GOMEZ What do you mean? It smells now? LIM Yes. We can’t close the windows. GOMEZ Does it stink that much now? I mean, is it too much to handle? Strange... I think I’ve caught a cold on the way here. Gomez lights a cigarette. Lim looks at him. A pause. LIM Don’t you watch those detective shows on tv? They’ll see your DNA in the cigarette butts. GOMEZ I know, I know. It’s just that I don’t want this smell killing me without me knowing it. In the first place... A pause. You’re drinking coffee. LIM I was just joking. (stands, walks toward the open window looks out) There’s not too many people now. GOMEZ Maybe it’s late. LIM It should be. I’m quite tired. GOMEZ That’s just jetlag. And the weather. You’re not used to it. LIM They’re late. GOMEZ I know. Maybe they’re walking. The yellow taxis are very expensive, didn’t you notice? LIM I know. We should’ve walked too. Wouldn’t have made a difference. GOMEZ Well, we’re here now. Besides, we don’t pay for cabfare. LIM We should have walked. Killed time instead. GOMEZ We can do that later. A pause. LIM Kill time? GOMEZ Yes. Kill time. Silence. Gomez walks towards the table, gets a new cup and pours coffee. He sips. GOMEZ I bet they have drinks stashed here somewhere. LIM Did you ask them? GOMEZ No. LIM Go ask them. GOMEZ They’re coming anyway. Let’s ask them when they get here. LIM What do they drink here, anyway? Gin? Whiskey? What do you think? GOMEZ I still go for the good old gin. Reminds me of home. LIM I know, I know. Do you still — Sound of footsteps offstage. Gomez and Lim stop talking and listen. Gomez turns off the lights. We faintly see them fumble around the room. Something falls. Lim runs to the toilet and turns up the light there. We see now that they are wearing plastic raincoats, and that Lim is holding an ax. The doorbell rings. Gomez points his gun at the door. Lim, ax at hand, walks towards it. Lights out. I Evening. HAROLD fixes the dishes after what appears to be an elaborate dinner. BIANCA helps him. ANDREW looks around the apartment, admiring it. HAROLD Hey, you guys aren’t too tired yet, are you? ANDREW Just a bit. HAROLD You don’t have to help me, Bianca. You’re my guests. BIANCA Oh, this is nothing. I live in an apartment too, back home. I’m quite used to this. HAROLD Are you, now? That’s good to hear, nowadays. A lot of girls from home don’t know anything about housework. The katulong thing, you know ANDREW We do plan on getting househelp. HAROLD Good for you. (Harold finishes putting away the dishes) Don’t worry about this, Bianca, I’ll wash it myself later. You go ahead and have a seat. BIANCA Are you sure? HAROLD Yes. Some friends are dropping by in a bit. Might as well do all the cleaning at the same time. Harold washes his hands. Bianca sits at the couch, looks at Andrew, and motions him to sit by her. Andrew continues to look around. ANDREW Your apartment’s great. You seem to be doing really well. HAROLD I know. Hard work and saving up and all that shit. I’ve been working since college. ANDREW (picks up an expensive looking object, perhaps a small vase) Are all of these yours? HAROLD (dries his hands, walks towards bar) Yes. Including the place. Bought it dirt cheap too. This building ain’t really that good, see. Guess how many people live here. BIANCA How many? HAROLD Come on. Give me at least a guess. ANDREW Five tenants on this floor. HAROLD Nah. Two. Me and this old Nepalese man just across the hall. We’re the only tenants in this building. BIANCA Really, now? HAROLD Yes, really. I told you this ain’t a good building. I think it’s on the city’s wreck list, or something like that. The landlord, who I’ve seen only once, told me it’s been on the list since \ the 70s. Hell, it may be in danger of falling right now that we’re a crowd! Harold chooses from several bottles of whiskey. He opens one and pours on three glasses. Silence. ANDREW Maybe you can tell us where we can find a cheap hotel. HAROLD Not until you have a few drinks. (gives Andrew and Bianca a glass each) Besides, it’s very late. No longer safe in this side of town. BIANCA Andrew’s scared. HAROLD No he’s not. BIANCA He is. Nobody knows we’re here. HAROLD He’s not. Pinoys don’t get scared. (a pause) Wait a minute, nobody knows that you’re here, in my pad, or here, in the country? ANDREW Nobody knows we’re here. (a pause) Anyway, I didn’t want to overextend our welcome. I was thinking you guys here were used to living alone. HAROLD (laughs) Now that’s nonsense. I won’t, by the love of god, allow you to look for a hotel at this hour. Especially in this city, and with your luggage missing. Call it Pinoy hospitality if you must, but I can’t bear to think of newlyweds walking around looking for a place to crash. My, you don’t even have much money. ANDREW We’ve got some. HAROLD How much? ANDREW A few thousand pesos. Maybe you can help us change them. HAROLD A few thousand? What’ll you get out of that here? You’ll be begging in a few days. ANDREW Look, we appreciate the dinner and the offer, but we don’t want to be a burden. HAROLD (to Bianca) Bianca, my fellow Bicolano, your husband is insulting me. BIANCA Let’s stay, Andrew. At least ‘till we call home and tell them we’re here. HAROLD (offers hand to Andrew) Listen to your woman. Andrew hesitates at first, but eventually shakes Harold’s hand. Harold pulls Andrew to embrace him. Andrew is caught off guard. Bianca laughs. Harold lets go of Andrew who awkwardly steps back. He looks at Bianca. They both laugh at Andrew’s uneasiness. HAROLD Don’t worry, man, I ain’t no homo. Sit down and take it easy. ANDREW (blushing) Sorry, sorry. I barely know you, Harold. HAROLD Barely know me?! Now what kind of talk is that. You’re in my pad, my man. You know me. Believe me you know me well. Ain’t that true, Bianca? Bianca laughs. Andrew sits by Bianca, forcing a laugh as well. The phone rings. Harold answers the phone. He whispers into it, looking at the couple every now and then. Bianca and Andrew hold hands and finish their drinks. Silence. Harold hangs up. He goes to the couple and gets their glasses. He pours some more whiskey at the bar. BIANCA You said you were expecting people? HAROLD Yes. That is, if you don’t mind. You’re not that tired, are you? BIANCA Of course we won’t mind. We’re just crashing. HAROLD (hands the couple their whiskey, teases Andrew) I like your woman, Andrew. I really like her. ANDREW You think we’ll get our luggage back in a day or two? HAROLD You might. See, it really depends on how it got lost. If it got misplaced in the airport where you stopped over, it may take a couple of days. I called my boss to work on it already. He’ll page me as soon as he gets news. Don’t worry, he’s Pinoy too. Now you’ll have a real problem when your luggage turns out to be stolen. Hard to recover stuff when that happens... ANDREW Stolen? HAROLD Yes, stolen. That happens a lot here. We can just hope it ended up in a plane to Europe or something. ANDREW This boss of yours, will he page you as soon as he gets word about where our luggage is? HAROLD Yes! I told you already, he’s Pinoy. You know our reputation here, and it’s true. We’re well connected everywhere. I can get you an audience to the president if I wanted to! Bianca laughs heartedly at Harold’s boasting. Andrew sips from his drink. Harold’s cellphone rings. He looks at the number, and doesn’t answer. Silence. BIANCA Your friends who are coming over, are they Pinoy too? HAROLD Yes, they are. And people you’d be proud to be kababayans with. Therese works in the UN, and Guy acts for off-Broadway shows. He’s been in newspapers, see. Really attractive man. \ Tall and handsome. If not for his beard, a perfect twink. ANDREW You seem to know a lot of people, Harold. HAROLD I get around. My job allows me to meet a lot of people. ANDREW (finishes his drink) God, this is strong. HAROLD Of course. I’m not cheap. Anything but cheap. ANDREW I noticed. (stands, walks toward the toilet) I never realized you can get all of this working as airport security. Andrew goes in and closes the door. Harold sits opposite Bianca. HAROLD Your husband doesn’t like me too much. BIANCA Nah. Ignore him, he’s really just like that. HAROLD I’m going to tell you something that I won’t dare tell you when he’s here. But only if you promise that you won’t say something about it. BIANCA Of course I won’t. HAROLD (leans towards Bianca) I have the hots for you. I’ve been staring at you earlier when you were going around like lost chickens in the airport. Your worried face was enough to make me hard. When we were eating, I was imagining you naked. I almost came when you were peeling the banana I gave you. It’s cheap I know. A banana is a really cheap thrill. But you holding onto it, peeling it slowly, biting off the tip like a little schoolgirl, really made me want to come all over your face. I’m looking at your face now and thinking about my juice flowing down your cheeks. Such beautiful cheeks. I never knew Manila can produce such smoothness. Harold sits back, smiles. Bianca also sits back, stares at Harold blankly. Silence. Andrew comes back, looks at Bianca’s uneasiness, and looks at Harold questioningly. HAROLD I was telling your woman here about the West End. She seems to be confused about the East Side, where we are. (to Bianca) I know, dear, all these “ends” and the “sides” can be confusing at times. ANDREW I’d appreciate it if you quit calling my wife “my woman.” She has a name, Harold. HAROLD Oh, am I being offensive? So sorry, I’m just quite used to that now. (doorbell rings) Will you get that, Andrew? Reluctantly, Andrew goes offstage to get the door. We hear multiple locks being opened. Harold moves very close to Bianca. She stares at him. He holds her hand. We hear the door finally opening, then a loud thud. Andrew screams. GUY rushes in, still wearing his coat. GUY Who the fuck is that? BIANCA Some guest. GUY And who the fuck are you? HAROLD His woman, dude. They just got married. GUY Is that so? (pause) Hey, we didn’t mean to hit him, ok? It’s just that he’s a new face. In this town, when you see a new face telling you hello my name is yadda-yadda, you have to hit him on the face. For security. You get my drift? HAROLD (laughing) Don’t scare her too much, Guy. GUY I’m not scaring her, my man. I’m teaching her. Ways of the world, you understand? Hey, whatever happened to my welcome drink? You’ve got a woman living under your roof and no one serving cocktails in bunny panties. Sheezh. (pours himself something, shouts offstage, to the direction of the door) Therese, make sure you lock everything! HAROLD (to Bianca) That’s Guy, the actor I was telling you about. GUY Actor? What actor? I’m an artist, Harold. An artist. An actor is way different from an artist. Guy finishes his drink in one gulp and pours another one. THERESE comes in, pulling the unconscious Andrew into the living room. Bianca rushes to check on Andrew. Therese lights a cigarette. THERESE Who are you? BIANCA The wife. THERESE Really?! (to Guy) Hey Guy, pour me something, will you? We’ve got a wife here. Should we do something about her? GUY (gives Therese a glass of whiskey) What do you mean “do something?” THERESE Do something! GUY They’re Harold’s friends, silly. THERESE They are? Why’d you hit him? GUY Well, I didn’t know. Bastard here didn’t tell us he had company when we spoke on the phone. HAROLD I forgot all about it. THERESE (to Bianca) Is he alive? BIANCA Yes. THERESE I’m sorry, girl. BIANCA Don’t worry, he’ll live. THERESE Hey, are you from here? I seem to recognize you from somewhere. You work for the UN too? HAROLD They’re newlyweds. First time in New York. GUY What are they doing here, then? You pick them up for littering or something? HAROLD They lost their luggage. GUY Where? HAROLD At the airport. They’re the ones I was telling you about earlier. THERESE Oh... (pause) The same ones who got robbed just outside JFK? HAROLD Yes. The same ones. I took their report and invited them to dinner. GUY Maybe he’s dead. THERESE He’s breathing, idiot. Bianca tries to wake Andrew up. The three watch her curiously. Silence. Andrew comes about. Still groggy, he stands up, looks at the two newcomers, then at Bianca. He sits down. GUY Sorry about that, dude. I thought you were somebody else. ANDREW Who? GUY That’s none of your business. ANDREW You almost killed me. GUY Come on. Nobody dies of a little karate every now and then. ANDREW (still dizzy, prepares to stand) It’s nice to meet you guys and all, but my wife and I were just about to leave. THERESE Leave? (to Harold) I thought you said they’re staying? HAROLD They are. Aren’t you, Bianca? I remember you telling me you’d like to get to know some good old Pinoy folks in New York. BIANCA Yes, we’re staying for the night. ANDREW What? GUY Now, we’re talking! ANDREW (to Bianca, pleadingly) I can call my relatives upstate. We can stay at a hotel and be going tomorrow, no fuss. THERESE Hey, don’t be such a party-pooper. You stay here, have a couple of drinks with us, and tell us about home. We haven’t been home in years. GUY You haven’t been to the Philippines at all, Therese. THERESE Yes, I have! GUY No, you haven’t. THERESE I have. The faggot couple incident, remember? GUY I don’t. HAROLD The faggot couple from Dumaguete, those you picked up in Macy’s and invited over for some good old adobo and halo-halo. Surely you remember them. One’s a bottom and one’s a top. You were a third wheel. Gay love on Christmas. A pause. GUY Oh, them. Yeah, I do remember them. And yes, you did come with them to Manila. THERESE I love the Philippines. BIANCA You should. Manila’s so nice. THERESE Yes. ANDREW Hey, do you even know what they’re talking about? HAROLD Mind your own business, Andrew. Your woman’s making small talk. ANDREW (holds Bianca’s hand) I’m sure tito and tita would love to hear from us. BIANCA (pulls hand, sits back) Fuck you. They hate me, and you know that. HAROLD Take it easy, dude. You’re welcome to stay the night here. ANDREW Look, Harold, we appreciate the dinner and the drinks, but we really must be going. GUY But I don’t want you to go. I’m just beginning to have so much fun. ANDREW What kind of fun? Fun hitting strangers? GUY Yes, that kind of fun. Therese laughs aloud. Andrew looks at Harold, who just raises his glass. He pulls Bianca once more, and she resists violently this time. Guy pull off his belt and whips Andrew hard. Andrew pulls away, but Guy goes after him whipping him over and over with his belt. Andrew crouches and raises his hand. THERESE Now, now, no need for such violence. Guy stops. GUY This guy’s pissing me off, Therese! THERESE He’s new here. Give him a break. GUY I was giving him a break. BIANCA Please don’t hurt my husband. (a pause) At least not too much. We’re new here. HAROLD They’re not going to hurt your husband. BIANCA Ok. Andrew crouches on a corner, like a scared dog. Lights out. Continued... This play won Third Prize for the Full-Length Play in the 2005 Palanca Awards |