This page links to synopses of all the versions of HoND I've seen. I admit, I haven't seen all of them - I can think of at least one major movie production I haven't seen - but if you want, you can write me an e-mail and either a) let me know if there's one you want me to synopsize or b) write your own synopsis - pending approval, I'll post it up here with full credit! I'm doing this because I never update myself. Someone may take motivation where I seem to lack it.
I've always wanted to fill this page with movie and sound clips. With Geocities bandwidth and storage limits, that probably won't happen. Perhaps if I get a little extra cash someday and purchase my own domain name, it may. But with med school, probably not any time soon.
Now, my one claim to fame on this particular page is that, years ago, someone who worked very closely on the production of one of the below adaptations personally e-mailed me to let me know that I'm stupid and completely uncreative. This is based on the fact I kind of trashed his work. So, to let everyone know now, including producers, actors, and key grip #2 -- I don't write these to trash your hard work. If it's up here, it meant I spent a hell of a lot of time on your movie watching and rewatching, then watching in slo-mo, then capping, then watching again to make sure the synopsis I spent hours writing was correct. I wouldn't do this if I hated your production. It would drive me mad. Take some goodhearted ribbing with an open-mind and a sense of humor. Make a parody of my website. I would love that kind of attention.
THIS BE YOUR FIRST AND LAST WARNING. THESE PAGES CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!! BIG SPOILERS!!!!
The Hunchback of
Notre Dame --
(1923, with Lon Chaney)
This black-and-white silent film was the first Silver Screen version of HoND
to make it big. Lon Chaney portrays a crazy yet somehow sympathetic
Quasimodo, and Gringoire makes a first attempt at bringing flamboyant,
closet homosexuality into mainstream culture.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame --
(1939, with Charles Laughton)
Did you know Maureen O'Hara, the
girl who plays Esmeralda in this movie, was only 15 when it was first
filmed? It's true! I read it on a website...somewhere. At
any rate, this one's a talkie. And though sometimes hard to follow
Laughton's Quasi, I'm pretty sure it's in English.
(1956, with Anthony Quinn)
For a long time, I was convinced this film was foreign. And I really don't know why, other than the fact half the production crew had foreign names. Anyway, I like this version. It has a certain je ne sais quoi. Which is French for, "accurate characterization." I swear.
(1982, with Anthony Hopkins)
I can't remember if this one had been made specifically for TV and was broadcast on CBS. I think it was. Well, Anthony Hopkins...what more can you say? The guy's a genius. Of special note is Derek Jacobi as Frollo. With that winning combo, you'd think this film would be a bonafide blockbuster (or whatever they call movies-of-the-week). Well, yes and no...
(1985, rinky-dink cartoon)
It's as rinky-dink as rinky-dink can get. But I have it on DVD and it's just so much fun. This cartoon was the first version of HoND I had ever seen, and it ran on Nickelodeon's Special Delivery every once in a while on Saturday. I want to say it's Canadian, because most things on Nick back then were Canadian or foreign. But I think it's full-blood American, folks. Well....except the animation....no one in their right mind would use Americans for low-production cartoons...
(1996, Disney)
Well, I don't know how soon I'll get to reviewing this. First of all, it's probably been recapped/reviewed/ridiculed far better than I could ever, and on many other websites. Perhaps I'll just make a bunch of observations about what's so different between the book and the animated movie, seeing as this is perhaps the most asked question in high schools everywhere (why oh why are the public school systems comparing/contrasting this with the book instead of, oh, say, the Anthony Quinn version?) Either way, I don't have it on DVD sadly, so it may take a while to make my own full-blown review.
(1997, with Mandy Patinkin)
The original TNT production, released shortly after the Disney version for God knows what reason. I have no idea where exactly this was anything like the book, other than some names and a vague visual resemblance in Quasi. But you know what? I don't care. It has friggin Innigo Montoya playing Quasimodo. Frollo killed his father, and yessir, he better prepare to die...
(1998, French musical)
Well, seriously, if you don't know what this is, you're probably not a true HoND fan. Disregarding the blanket statement, this is the original French musical that swept the nations of the world. And this is the original review that spurred one of the production crew to write me a very nasty e-mail. Yep, inspiring hatred one person at a time.
Miscellaneous Section
Where all the versions go that I have no ability to review to any real extent, but I still like enough to list. Spread the HoND love and visit!
Any other movie requests/suggestions/reviews? Send me an e-mail!
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Misty
Woodard
2000-2006
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