Title: Downpour In The Desert Of My Love - A Badfic Vinaigrette
Author: Anubis-Lite
E-mail: AnubisLM@aol.com
Rating: NC-17. Sex boosts circulation.
Disclaimer: The characters in this story bear no recognition to the ones you see on TV. If,
however, you do see a brief resemblance, please note that it was not in any way
intentional.
Spoilers: Wait one hour after consuming a full meal. Summary: Plot? You've got high
hopes.
Distribution: Stick it where you think it belongs.
Title: A Downpour In The Desert Of My Love
By: Anubis-Lite
Fox Mulder loved Dana Scully.
The thought came to him, unbidden and without a warrant. Lightening struck in the desert
of his heart and his world suddenly revolved on its axles. After all this time, Mulder
rationalized that he really did love Dana Scully! Once upon a time, back when his sister
Samantha had floated away all glowing and illuminated like Tinkerbell, Mulder had felt his
heart dry up inside He thought he would never love again. Now, watching Scully chew
delicately on a number two pencil that had fallen from the ceiling, he knew the past was
finally gone and dismembered. He loved Dana! She made him feel like no one had felt
before. Mulder looked down, checking to make sure his trousers were zipped just in case
she was looking and saw proof of his love. He wanted to wait and let it be a surprise at a
more inopportune time.
Fox thought about his feelings for Scully as he pursued a file folder. On the outside he was
hard and on the inside he was all warm and gooey sort of like an Almond Joy bar. He
decided he shouldn't think about his love while he was supposed to be working unless he
wanted to piss Skinner off. His boss was already pissed about all the vacation and sick
time he had taken running off after UFOs. Mulder didn't want to push it. A describable
amount of time passed and he decided he hadn't had lunch yet and should take a break.
Maybe it was time to head out of the basement offices for some lunch. He could use
something to eat.
"Hey Scully, I'm heading out of the basement offices for some lunch. Can I invest you in
joining me?" He grinned and put on his puppy dog eyes, hoping her heart would melt like
a Fudgesicle in July. It didn't work too good because Scully didn't even bother to look up
from her outspread files.
"No, I'm busy," she growled. The tone in her voice wasn't very friendly and it made
Mulder draw himself upward. He almost ran into the doorway because he was too busy
being indignant and hurt to watch where he was going. What was wrong with Scully? He
shook his head slightly and made a big sighing noise like he was a bottle of pop all shook
up that had just been opened, except he didnąt squirt fluids on anyone. Maybe Scully
didn't like him! Maybe she was tired of all his excuses and feelings of irregularity!
He trudged outside, his heart in his mouth. He would have lunch without Dana Scully. He
would show her! Shaking his head he felt tears gather round the corneas of his eyes. One
really *was* the loneliest number. After zero. Nobody ever remembered that zero was a
number, too, so he supposed that zero was the loneliest number, *not* one because
everybody forgot about zero. Like everybody forgot about him.
* * * * * * *
"Geez, I thought he'd never leave," Scully muttered to herself. She had work to do.
She had to write a good-bye note to Mulder.
Skinner came to her earlier in the weak and offered her a transfer. She would be in charge
of the forensics department at Quantico. It was a major promotion, and Skinner never gave
her the chance to turn it down. He said it was a done deal, and that if she backed out,
Mulder could be on jeopardy.
Scully sighed, her heart heavy in her chest. How was she going to be able to leave him? He
was the only man she had ever loved. Well, except for Marcus, the 12th-grade love of her
life, but they were young and Dana wanted more out of life than a ride on a pumper truck.
She wanted a man who would love her and stand by her side. She wanted a man who
would cover her back and shoot at the bad guys, and every once in a while she would save
his ass, too. She wanted a man who would go to the ends of the earth to find her, across
icebergs and desserts and back again.
She wanted Mulder.
She started to sob as she realized it was a dream that would never come true. Tears fell
from her eyes like a long-awaited rain during a drought. This was why she had to write the
note. She couldn't tell him in person. It would be too hard to bare.
Scully swiped the tears from her cheeks and sniffled. She had to pull herself together. She
was a professional. He would get over her, just as she would get over him. He had to
know she would leave him at some point. It was inedible.
Scully cleared her throat and realized even though she had been crying, her throat was
perched. She was so thirsty, she felt like she had moth balls in her mouth. Scully looked at
the mug on her desk and found nothing but trace amounts of her morning coffee. She
huffed and went to the coffee maker on the other side of the office.
"Of course. No coffee."
Scully resolved herself to make a trek upstairs to get some fresh coffee, and was lucky
enough to find the elevator empty. She would endure the comments and stairs from her co-
workers. She was used to it. They both were. Scully reproached the coffee pot and didn't
let her eyes wander. If you don't make eye contact, they won't speak to you. At least in
theory, she thought as she heard the ruffling of clothes behind her.
"Good morning Agent Scully," came a pleasant voice.
Scully turned to find Kimberly, Skinner's secretary, standing behind her with two coffee
mugs.
"Good morning," Scully said formally. She didn't want to talk to this woman but she
didn't want to be rude Everyone already called her the Ice Queen. No sense in adding the
word Rude to her title.
"Did you get the memo?" Kimberly asked as she pored coffee in the mugs.
"What memo?" Scully's curiosity was peaked.
"The one about the multi-agency costume ball," she exclaimed. "Everyone has to go.
Skinner's orders."
"Everyone?!" Scully wined.
"Yes, everyone! It's for charity and even the President will be there. Skinner said it will be
a feather in our cat to make a good showing in front of the President."
"It's budget time, isn't it?" Scully devised.
Kimberly nodded and leaned into her. "Rumor has it, Skinner's going as a pirate. Couldn't
you just die?!" She fluttered away, her heels barely hitting the ground.
Scully shook her head. As if she didn't have enough trouble already, having to leave
Mulder. Now she has to do some stupid ball! Why did these things always happen to her?!
She walked quickly back to the basement, forgoing the elevator for the stairwell. Once back
in the sanction of their office, Scully took a sip of her coffee, which had already gotten
cold. It didn't matter anyway. After going upstairs to get fresh coffee, she realized the
thirst in her throat was something coffee could not quench. Only Mulder could quench it.
Her thirst for him was as long and deep as the Nile itself.
"Stop thinking like that, Starbuck," she chastised. She and Mulder could never be. Sure,
they were always walking that line between friendship and something more than
friendship. She always felt like they were doing a slow waltz, to no music at all, each just
out of the other's reach.
"Great," Scully said as she dropped into her seat. "I can't tell him now."
"Tell me what, Scully?"
Scully turned to see her partner standing in the doorway.
* * * * * * *
Mulder watched Scully watching him as he stopped through the doorway. He was still
preoccupied with trying to figure out the loneliest number. Right about now, he had settled
on thirteen because thirteen was hated and feared, just as he had been hated and feared
years earlier when he was the golden calf of the Behavorial Investigation Unit and caught
the infamous serial killer, Monty Hall. Now he was stuck in the basement offices of the
FBI working closely with a woman he loved but couldn't have, like in The Nanny.
"Tell me what, Scully?" Mulder stated the oblivious.
"Nothing. I'm fine," Dana spluttered convincingly.
Fox noticed the shuttle way she avoided eye contact. What was going on? A long silence
stretched between them, longer and quieter than the silence after a really bad Demi Moore
movie. The air in the room dropped several degrees. Mulder continued to stare at Dana
intently, hoping to penetrate her. She looked away, pretending to be interested in a file.
Fine, Mulder thought to himself. Let her be that way. There were plenty of other fish in the
sea. One of them was sure to make him forget all about Dana and his unacquainted love.
Swinging his lanky flame into his chair, he flipped through the interoffice mail, assuming
an air of non chalice.
"We have to go to the multi-agency costume ball!" Mulder blurted out, reading Skinner's
memo.
"The President is going to be there. It's for charity," Scully complained.
Mulder rolled his eyes across the room. The FBI was always having parties for charity. He
never went to them because usually he was in Russia or Antartica or Puerto Rico or
something and he missed them. But this time he wasn't planning on running after any
aliens, so maybe he could experience one of the FBI's balls. Come to think of it, a masker
raid ball might be the perfect place to reveal his feelings for Scully. Technically, it would
be during non work hours so he could tell her he loved her without compromising his
professionalism and suffering severe percussions from Skinner or one of those
submersive committees.
"I'll meet you there at seven o'clock," Mulder was filled with the unfamiliar sensation of
excitement as he made his decision. His stomach fluttered and he felt all cool and tingly
inside, like he had just bit into a York Peppermint Pattie. He was going to the costume ball
with Scully and he was going to tell her he loved her! He must be dreaming. Just to be
sure, he pinched himself on the cheeks.
"But... But..." Scully stammered, trying to collate her thoughts.
"Seven o'clock, Scully." Mulder smiled coyly. "And use your imagination."
* * * * * * *
Four hours and twenty seven minutes later, Mulder stared at his reflection in the closet
mirror and nodded. Perfect. His neighbor had gone to the opening of an art gallery last
month. It had been a costume party, too, and the theme was Egypt. Luckily, they were the
same size. Though, Mulder supposed with a rye grin, there wasn't very much material to
the costume so it didn't matter. He stared at himself some more, noting the pleated white
skirt, thin laced-up sandals, shiny gold metal bands at his wrists and around his neck and a
white piece of cloth held to his head with another gold band. Perfect! He flecked his
muscles, showing off his bare chest. Scully was bound to go crazy when she saw him
dressed up like a barge boy!
He grabbed his ancient looking staff which completed the outfit and headed out the door.
* * * * * * *
Scully left the office early and ran home fast. She had only a few hours to find a costume!
What could she go as? She thought about what Mulder would do. Knowing him, he
would put on a suit and a Richard Nixon mask, and walk around saying "I am not a crock"
all night.
She found the yellow pages and started calling costume shops. Most of the stores were all
rented out, as other agents had called and preserved their costumes already. The last store
on the list was her jackpot.
Bernie's House of Fun, named for its proprietary Bernie, was a few miles from Scully's
apartment. Bernie knew she was coming and had set aside some costumes he thought
would fit her. Bernie was a jovial man, round-faced with cheeks as pink as a baby's
bottom and a ring of white hair surrounding his head, sort of like a Bozo the Clown, only
if Bozo had white hair, was a foot shorter and wore glasses.
Scully took the costumes into a dressing room and tried them on. One was a French maid
costume that she was tempted to take. Wouldn't Fox Mulder die if she walked into the
costume ball with that on?! It barely hit her mid-thigh and it was very low cut, showing off
her ampul bosom. Scully shook her head. It was too riskay to wear to an FBI affair.
The next one was a wedding dress. She took one look at it and tossed it aside. She was not
going to show up at the party dressed as a bribe. The only time she would wear a wedding
dress was when she married Fox William Mulder!
The next one was a Star Trek uniform, like the one Voyager's Captain Amway wore.
Though she looked good in it, she thought it was a bad choice. Her partner was already
thought of as Spooky Mulder, who chases after aliens and UFOs. No, the Star Trek
costume had too many negative constellations attached to it.
The final costume was the perfect one. It was a white flowing dress, gathered with elastic
just below her beasts. The accessories included gold bands for her wrists and neck, a gold
snake for her bicep, gold sandals and a gold sash for her waste.
She stepped out of the dressing room and looked at herself in the mirror. She liked what
she saw. The costume was fluttering on her, showing off her pretty shapes. But it was
missing something. Bernie appeared behind her.
"Oh!" Bernie exclaimed. "I forgot one thing."
Bernie loped into the back room and returned quickly with a shoulder-length black wig.
He helped her on with it, tucking her hair to make sure none of the auburn tressels peaked
out from underneath. He placed an elaborate gold tiara-like thing over the wig.
Bernie kissed his fingers like the mater dee at an Italian restaurant. "Perfect! You make the
perfect Cleopatra!"
Scully's smile lit up her face like a lightning storm lights up a desert sky during a really bad
thunderstorm in the summer.
She was going to knock Mulder's sucks off!!
* * * * * * *
The site of the transformed FBI ballroom stunned Fox Mulder. The decorating committee
had managed to covert the room into a sparking desert oasis! Gold stars hung from the
ceiling, white lights tinkled overhead and there were huge paper machete trees everywhere.
The peace de resistance was the sand which coated the surface of the floor. It was real
sand! The room reminded Mulder of that old black and white movie, Lawrence of the
Arabs, except everything was in color.
Mulder searched the room with his eye. Was Scully here already? His heart fluttered and
leapt from his breast cage as he checked the crowd who had shown up for the FBI charity
panty. There was a woman in a cat suit, several dead presidents and two field officers
posting as Elvis. He shook his head in dejection. None of them were Scully. She must not
have arrived yet.
"Arrrrrrr matey!"
Mulder felt something hard press against his neck. Instinct kicked him and he whirled
around to confront his attacker. It was Skinner dressed up like a pirate, the shaft of his
cardboard sword held to his neck! Skinner looked debonaire in his silky red pants, leather
vest without a shirt and eye patch. This was all topped off by a banana wrapped around his
bald head and a small gold hoop earring in one ear. The muscles in Skinner's arms bulged
and danced and Mulder couldn't help but be memorized by them.
"Ready to walk the plank?" Skinner growled.
Mulder decided to play with Skinner. "Was it my last expense report? I can explain that!"
Skinner withdrew his shaft from Mulder and tucked it back into his pants. "Looks like you
might win the costume contest, Mulder."
"Contest?" Mulder squeaked.
"They're judging at nine o'clock. The winner gets dinner for two at O'Briens." Skinner
shook his head, resigning to the fact that Mulder's costume looked better than his. It
certainly was skimpy enough. "I could use a stiff one, Mulder. How about you?"
They waked over to the bar compatibly and ordered drinks. They drank a couple of shots
of whiskey in silence and Mulder nervously checked his watch. What was taking Scully so
long? Wasn't she going to come tonight? Suddenly, without warning, all the air was
sucked out of the room in a similar manner that coffee is vacuum packed for your
convenience. Mulder felt himself being explicitly drawn. His eyes were pulled out of his
head and toward the doorway. There, a woman stood in a white flowing gown, gold
jewelry and long black hair. She was the most beautiful appearation he had ever seen!
Mulder blinked, realizing that the woman was Scully!
Skinner sighed out loudly. "She looks like an angle."
Mulder thought that was an odd thing for his boss to say, but he couldn't respond. He was
looking at Scully, seeing how beautiful she was. A nervous pickle of fear settled into his
stomach. What if she didn't love him? What if Scully didn't feel the same way he did?
Stealing himself, Mulder gulped the rest of his drink. Tonight was the night he was going
to tell Scully he loved her. He would give up everything for her, he would even stop
chasing aliens and get a house with babies if that was what Dana wanted. He set down his
drink. He was going to do it. It was time for the flat lady to sing!
* * * * * * *
Scully entered the ballroom and the sight of all the people took her breath away. It was a
better turnaround than she had expected. Everyone was wearing a costume, most of them
quite creative. She enjoyed seeing her co-workers dressed up as cartoon characters, movie
stars and supper heroes.
As she scrolled through the room, she admired the decorations. She loved the desert oasis
theme. It was perfect for her costume. What luck! The room was dimly lit, and it made the
ambivilance in the room mysterious yet inviting.
Scully's eyes went around the room looking for the only man she wanted to see tonight:
Mulder. But through the thongs of people, she couldn't see him. Then, suddenly, he was
there, across the room from her, standing by himself.
Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes swept over him like a big broom. He was a god.
The barge boy's costume fit his lanky form like a glove, what little there was of it. The
pleaded skirt was short enough to show off most of his long, lean runner's legs. His
tanned chest was bare, shining like a new penny, only without Abraham Lincoln on it.
Scully took a step forward, then another, her heart pounding in her chest. Mulder, her
Mulder, more precious to her than King Tut's treasures. She moved across the floor, step
after organizing step, but she stopped when a green thing flew in front of her. It was
Kimberly! She looked like a Santa's helper, a very intoxicated one.
"Agent Scully, I love the costume!" Kimberly screamed.
"Thank you," she said demurly. "And your costume is lovely. An elf?"
"No, silly! I'm a wood nympho!!" Kimberly swatted at Scully like a fly. "Actually, I'm a
musical one. See, here's my liar and loot." She shoved her instruments into Scully's face.
"Nice touch," Scully added with non chalice as she stepped around Kimberly.
Once again, Mulder was in her sites. She moved forward, each step taking forever, as if
she was in locomotion. She got a few steps closer but a hand grabbed her from behind and
spun her around. It was Skinner!
"Good evening, Agent Scully." His eyes racked her. "Your costume is befitting a
goddess."
"Thank you, sir," she said with a tap of her head. "You look like quite the mischevious
scallion yourself. Are you supposed to be Bluebeard?"
"No, I'm Long John Silver, the salvage pirate of the Seven Seas."
Skinner growled and drew out his sword, slicing at the air as if he was fighting an
imaginary adversity. Scully was impressed at how well the assitant director could wield
his long weapon.
Scully looked around again for Mulder. She couldn't see him now. She did see Kimberly,
though, who had her arms around Spender, who was dressed like Flush Gordon. It was
so pathetic, seeing Kimberly hanging all over him like a cheap suite.
"Have you seen the buffet table?" Skinner asked as his put his shaft back in his pants.
"No, sir. I'm not hungary."
"Oh, but you must see it, Agent Scully. It's an impressive spread. The petty fours and
nonparallels are to die for!"
Scully desperately searched the crowd for Mulder. He was nowhere to be found. Injected,
she slumped her shoulders and followed Skinner to the table.
* * * * * * *
Mulder felt himself being rutted on the spot like a big oak tree. Skinner had swept aside
him and carted Scully onto the buffet table to eat. His heart sunk to the bottom of his
leather sandals faster than the Titanic went down into the icy Atlanta Ocean, except there
wasnąt an annoying Celine Dion song playing in the background. Why was Scully ignoring
him? For a brief monument, Scully had locked her eyes with him. Then, she took
Skinner's arm and turned away. Her actions provided she didn't love him. Fox Mulder
was deeply hurt and insulated.
Standing alone on the bar, he ordered another drink. He drank it woefully while licking his
wounds. Suddenly, without any previous notice, he saw an annoying green flutter out of
the coroner of his eye. Before he could retract, one of Satan's little helpers had adhered
herself to him. It was Kimberley, Skinner's secretary dressed up in an elk costume.
Kimberly goggled girlishly and flushed her big blue eyes at him. "Mulder, fancy meeting
you here. Alone and half-naked. Am I dreaming?"
Mutated with grief, Mulder ignored her.
Kimberly grabbed Mulder's ancient looking staff. "Let's put this to good use." She polled
him onto the dance floor where they were playing a slow song. Kimberly pressured her
body against his, fitting the tip of her head into the crock of his arm. She had left her fruit
and lair back at the bar. As the lyrics of the Savage Gardener song revolved throughout the
ballroom, Mulder couldn't help but think of Scully.
"A new beginning A reason for living A deeper meaning still I want to stand with you in
a mountain I want to bath with you by the sea I want to lie like this forever Until the sky
fills down on me."
Mulder knew how the guy singing the song felt. He felt the exact same way! He wanted to
take baths with Scully in the ocean of his love. He wanted to touch her and kiss her and
lunge around afterwards basting in the glow of their shared union. Unshed tears gathered
around his lids like tiny tide pools collected on the shore during peak season. He shook his
head. When the X-Files had burned to the ground, only Scully had given him hope. She
always managed to pull him back from the deep dark abscess that threatened to
consummate his life. And yet their love was never meant to be just like the way you could
never get oil and vinegar to mix together in the dressing bottle and stay that way.
"And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky, I'll make a wash send it to
heaven then make you want to cry"
The tears ran down his face like wet raindrops on the windshield of a moving car. The
music continued to play and he felt Kimberly brushing herself all over him. Gently, he
stepped away.
"Is something wrong Mulder?" Kimberly acted agitated like when the load is unbalanced in
the washing machine.
Mulder felt bad. He didn't want to hurt Kimberly, but he wanted Scully. Only Scully. He
opened his mouth to convoy these feelings to her when a loud scream stopped him. He
heard the clattering of feet on sand as several people rushed for the doors on the inferior
side of the building. Mulder grabbed the arm of the Special Force Task Director, Ben
Dover who was dressed up like a cowboy and running for the exit. "Ben, what's going
on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the president! And they took two FBI agents as added
precaution!" Ben panted.
"What?" Mulder scoured the room. Where was Scully? She was nowhere to be seen! His
heart beat faster. Terrorists had kidnapped the president. Two agents had been taken
hostage and Skinner and Scully were nowhere around! Oh no! Had they fallen victim to
unforeseen circumcisions? Had the terrorists taken them hostage? He raced the door to find
out.
* * * * * * *
When Skinner and Scully arrived at the buffet table, they saw the President standing there
talking to a pretty blonde woman dressed as Marilyn Monroe. The woman waived, and
Scully waived back, but she realized the waive was not for her. It was for Skinner.
"Anna, how are you?" Skinner said to the woman as he embarked her in a big hug. "It's
been ages."
"Yes it has, Walter," she returned.
Skinner motioned to Scully. "Anna, this is one of my best agents, Dana Scully. Dana, this
is Anna Reckshyn. Anna here is one of the best assistant directors the Bureau of Alcohol,
Tobacco and Forearms has to offer. She and I went through the academy together."
Scully smiled pollutely and shook Anna's hand. She noticed the look that passed through
Anna and Skinner and deducted that they had been closer than just friends. It was a look
that was similar to the one she and Mulder had exchanged earlier in the evening. A look of
longing, a look of unrequitted love.
Scully exchanged peasantries with the President, and they all stood around and talked for a
while. Scully fainted interest in the conversation but she didn't care what was being said.
She didn't want to talk to the President. She wanted to talk to Mulder!
Her mind floated back to when she saw her partner in his barge boy costume. It was like
she was seeing a mirage, even though you don't really see mirages because they're all a
filament of your imagination. But she knew she saw him, so he wasn't a mirage. He was
real. He was real and sexy. Where was he?
Skinner asked if anyone wanted anything to drink. Scully inclined, but the others said yes.
Skinner left to hit the bar. She politely excused herself, saying she wanted to get a plate of
food. As she walked along the table, her eyes scanned the room like a big laser. There
were so many people there, and the room wasn't lit very well, but Scully had good eyes.
She ate her carats when she was younger, just like her mom said to, and she could see
really well in the dark. She had her cites set on Mulder and if he was in the room, she
would see him.
And then she saw him. But he was wearing a green coat now. She moved closer and saw
the green wasn't a coat. It was Kimberly! Hanging all over him!
"So that's how it was, huh Mulder? You want that little green slat instead of me? That's
just fine with me, *partner.*" Scully said all of that out loud, but no one heard her. It was
okay because the tears running down her cheeks betrayed what her real feelings were. Her
heart dropped into her stomach and she felt week with grief.
With her head hanging on her chest, Scully decided to leave the party. There was nothing
here for her. She had gotten all dressed up, hoping Mulder would notice her, but the only
thing he noticed was a stupid green nympho with long legs and griping hands.
She signed heavily and walked toward the main exit. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw
a man dressed as the Loan Ranger approach her.
"Agent Scully," he said in a quiet voice, "A.D. Skinner would like to see you outside. On
the balcony."
That's odd, Scully thought. Why would Skinner want to see her on the balcony? She
shugged and then hurried toward the balcony door. She opened it and stepped outside.
The night was clear and mild, with a slight wind out of the northeast. The stars were
tinkling bright. It was such a beautiful sky, almost as beautiful as looking into Mulder's
hazel-green-gold-brown eyes.
She shook off the image and looked around, but she didn't see Skinner.
"Sir, where are you?" She went to the edge and still didn't see anyone.
Then suddenly she was attached from behind! A hand enclosed over her mouth. A rag was
placed over her nose Scully took a wiff and the tangy scent of cholorophyll filled her
nostrils.
"Mulder, help me," she mumbled against the rage at her mouth. And then she went black.
* * * * * * *
Mulder shoveled the door open and headed after Ben Dover. The cowboy was fast, even
without a horse. It was hard for him to keep up in his barge boy outfit because he wasn't
used to running in a skirt. Plus, he had his ancient looking staff in his hand and that
slowed him down a little. Untaunted, he ran and ran, winded at running so much until Ben
stopped at some doors and went in. Mulder followed but was snatched behind by forceful
arms.
"Let me go! I want to know what's happened to Agent Scully!" Mulder fought against the
unforeseen attacker, his voice loud and protestant.
"Let him go," commandeered a sexy woman's voice.
Released, Mulder turned to see Ben Dover standing next to Marilyn Monroe. Except it
wasn't really Marilyn Monroe because she was dead. It was the Assistant Director from
the ATM division, Anna Reckshun! Mulder knew all about her performance in the field.
Skinner was always telling him about Anna Reckshun. In fact, just the other day Skinner
had told Mulder if he had Anna Reckshun in his office, he would get a lot more done Was
she heading the case? Maybe he could offer a hand!
"I'm sorry, Agent Mulder to break the bad news." Anna Ryckshun stared at him, long and
hard. "We believe Agent Scully has fallen pray to a small group of right wring terrorists. It
is all part of Sodom Hooseine's plan to obtain world denomination. Do you have any
information that might help this case?"
Mulder thought hard. He and Scully had a special confection. They knew each other so
well. They had worked many cases together, been through many parallels and coveted
each other's asses when the bad guys shot at them. They were like the Hardy Boys, only
one of them was a girl.
Without warming, his knees bucked under him. He felt a familiar sensation take hold of
him. Weakness settled over him like a furry quilt. Giving into the felling, he let it rash over
him with welcome arms. He sank to his knees, keeping his skirt tucked underneath him as
not to explore himself in front of everybody.
"Are you OK, Agent Mulder?" Ben Dover hovered above him.
The darkness came crushing over Mulder. He couldn't breath. He couldn't see. He
couldn't move. It was like being in a comma, only he hadn't got hit on the head or retained
any injuries. In the darkness he herd whispering voices and saw things. Mulder had an
usual gift, a gift he used on special occasions, where he could see and hear what was
happening to a victim. It was like getting free cable inside his head.
"Scully has a rug in her mouth....... She is straggling. Her hands are tied...... They have
the present there, too! They are in a large white truck. Diving fast On the side of the tuck I
see...... I see the words..... Pizza Devilry."
Mulder slumped further to the ground, his emotional tide spent. He coughed and gagged,
feeling his gorge rise up. Ben Dover was behind him. Anna Ryckshun was between his
legs. They helped roll him over as he open his moth. Mulder puked until the contents of
his stomach were vacated. No one was armed by these actions. It had been a regular
concurrence ever since Mulder worked that case in Oklahoma where the killer set fires and
wrote pottery.
"We have to get to Scully." Mulder stood up quickly, the blood wafting back to his head
and making him dizzy. Anna Ryckshun steadied him. "They plan on killing her first! We
have to do something!"
Mulder's words distilled fear in all the agent's hearts in the room. What if he was right?
Spooky Mulder had proved it in the past. He had a reputation to go along with his name,
he hadn't just gotten it by an accident. If Mulder was right and Scully was in danger of
dying, they needed to be reinforced by other agents. They needed more manpower and it
was OK if the manpower was actually women. Ben Dover scrambled to grab his cell
phone and call in the cavity.
* * * * * * *
Scully awakened in darkness. Her head was throbbing, and there was a humming noise
under her ear. She razed her head and sharp pains sliced through her brain like knaves
slice through hot butter. Her head hurt so bad she was sure she had a percussion. She sat
up in a sitting position and realized that the humming sound was the sound of the open
rode. They were moving! Whatever kind of vehicle they had her in, it was big.
And dark.
And it smelled like pepperoni.
Mulder loves pepperoni, she thought sadly. Pepperoni and extra cheese. He always ate
things that were bad for him, and she always ate salads and yogurt and healthy stuff, but
she wouldn't admit to him that she loved watching him eat, even if he was eating
something that would clock his arteries.
Forcing herself to kick herself into agent mold, Scully dropped her mind of Mulder and
pepperoni.
"What's the first thing they taut you at the Academy, Dana," Scully's mind asked her.
"Excess the situation," Scully answered.
She did a mental checkpoint of what she knew so far: She was at the multi-agency costume
ball. She saw Mulder but he baled on her, which hurt her badly. She was talking to
Skinner, the President and Anna Reckshyn. They all split up and Scully lost sight of the
others. She saw Mulder with Kimberly draped over him like a fur coat, which hurt her
even more badly. Then the Loan Ranger said Skinner wanted her on the balcony. She
went outside to find Skinner, and then...
"I've been abdicated!" She yelped.
"We all have," came a familiar voice.
"Sir," Scully said to her assistant director. "Do you know where we are?"
"Not yet. Crawl toward me, Scully. I'm not able to move very well."
Scully immediately jumped into doctor mold. Her eyes had adjudicated to the darkness and
she could make out Skinner's shadowy form. She got down on all fores and found him.
"Where are you hurt?"
"My leg. I think it's my tabuli."
Scully felt up Skinner, and he tensed under her when her hand encased his lower leg.
"Do you think you can put any wait on it?"
"I will if I have to, Agent Scully."
Scully admired her bosses strength. He was the most poised and solid man she knew, and
he was always there for her and Mulder, like a father figurine. He was a rack.
"Sir, where's the President?!"
"I don't know. He's not back here with us. Maybe they have him in a different vocation."
"We have to find him!"
"We will, but first we have to escapade," Skinner said firmly. "And I have a plan!"
* * * * * * *
Anna Reckshun stood rigid in the middle of the parking lot, posed and ready for action.
One by one the enforced agents poured into the uncover vans as they prepared for their
rayed on the headquarters of the anti-terrorists. With any luck, they would find Agent
Scully or AD Skinner.
Watching the fury of activity, Anna's moral dropped a little. Skinner. She said his name in
her head, rolling it on her tongue like liquid butter, hot and warm, but not too hot because
it would burn the roof of your mouth. She had met Skinner during Police Academy, and
they had had a steaming affair. But their assignments had sent them to differing parts of
the United Sates and their love had had evaporated over time just like the giant ice glazer
that once coated the world back in the pre-hysteric age.
She watched Mulder hang at the end of the line. Upon first meeting Mulder fifteen minutes
ago, she had made her reservations. She had heard Mulder was a good agent, but that he
had a loose canon. After the spell where he saw and heard things, she revisited her
opinion. After seeing him in traction she had no alternative but trust him explicitly. Several
technical agents rushed by with their electronic devices that would be used later and she
shook her head to clear out the thoughts. It was almost time. She steadied herself and put
all the memoirs of Skinner and what they had meant to each other in the back of her head.
"Mulder! Let's go!" She strode over to the van and got in.
Mulder followed behind like a well heeled puppy and jumped into the van behind her.
The van took off and everybody inside starting putting on clothes. Anna grabbed a bullet
poof vest and snapped it on. Mulder did the same. Anna got her gun unhinged and ready
for action. Mulder did the same. Anna took a couple of deep breathes, getting her psychic
ready too. Mulder did the same.
The agent driving the van was used to going really fast because he raced cars on the
weekend. So they got to the center of the DC area in record time but without violating any
traffic. As they neared a group of banded warehouses, the agents got really quiet. Most of
them had been trained in hand-to-hand combat before. They knew to use the darkness to
stay camoflogged so that the bad guys didn't have foresight into their arrival.
Hand resting on the door, Mulder felt his gorge dancing in his throat. This isn't the time!
He told himself sternly, only not out loud. Everybody already thought he was crazy, he
didn't need to go proofing it every five minutes. Headless to his pleas to ward off the
attack, Mulder felt the voices ring in his ear and the pictures flash through his field of
visibility.
"Uh.....Uh.....Anchovies.......Double cheese......" Mulder jerked on the floor like a hand
puppet gone bad. "Two-for-one Tuesdays.....PEPPERONI!!!!"
Possessed by his interior demons, Mulder dashed to his feet, broke free from the van and
started running toward the old building, his gun down in front of him.
* * * * * * *
Scully felt the van come to a stuttering halt. The sudden stop threw her against Skinner and
she landed on his lap. Though it had been a long time since she'd been on a man's lap, it
wasn't the lap she wanted. So she scribbaged away from him, always maintaining her
strict professionalism.
"Are you sure about this plan, sir?"
"Positive," Skinner said competently. "You just do it like we rehearsed and it will work."
Scully heard the jiggling of car keys and she took her place at Skinner's side. This has to
work, she said as concern flooded her body like water when she took nice, warm bubble
bath. Only this feeling wasn't nice and warm and there weren't any bubbles.
The back door of the van opened and their captivators stood before them. One of them was
Krychek!!
"Krycheck, you bastard!!" Scully hissed.
"I'll kill you first Scully!" Krycheck screamed back.
Skinner's hand clomped around her arm, and she pulled herself back into agent mold. Then
Skinner moaned loudly and squirted around like a worm. Scully knew that was her cue!
"This man needs to get to a hospital!" she acclaimed to Krycheck.
"Yeah, right," was the rat bastard's response. "He's just faking it!"
"No he's not! He has coitus. If we don't rush him to a hospital, his colon could bust! He
could die!!"
Krycheck looked at the other man and they telephonically communicated, reading each
other's mind. She could be telling the truth. Or she could be lying and it could be a track.
"OK," Krycheck finally said. "We have a doctor inside the building. He'll be able to tell us
if your faking it or not. But if you are faking it, I'll kill you both myself!"
Krychek reached in to take Scully's arm, but she landed a karioke chop to his stomach. She
followed up with a kick to his face. He doubled over in angora and fell to the ground. The
other man raised his gun but Skinner was quicker and kicked the man in the face, with his
good leg. With both men down, Scully helped her boss out of the truck and they ampled
away.
When they were a few feet away, Scully turned back to make sure they weren't being
perused. The men were still writing on the ground. She breathed a sign of relief and
looked forward again. That's when she saw the most beautific sight she had ever seen.
Mulder!!
* * * * * * *
He swept across the parking lot with his gun drawn. Thankfully, his gorge had receded,
but Mulder had visualized enough of a picture during his spill to know that the pizza van
had driven to the loading ducks located at the back of the building. He had inherently run to
the correct spot. Now he saw Scully, Skinner and Krcychek locked together in a deadly
dance.
"FBI! Freeze or I'll kill you Krycheck."
Krycheck's head moved from left to right. All of his careful planes were going down the
tub! Mulder would attest him, drag him off to jail and he would end up sharing a cell with a
guy named Bubbah who read a lot of Gertrude Stein. It wasn't going to happen to him! He
hated them kind of books about German women who practiced femininity. Krycheck
thought quickly, drawing on his natural tenacity toward evil. He lashed out, kicked
Skinner square on the grain and grabbed Scully by her hare. He was careful to use his reel
arm and not the artificial one because he got a better grip that way.
"I'll kill her Mulder." Krycheck pulled out a big knife from the back of the van that was
used to slice up pizza toppings. It was big and shiny and Krycheck waived it near Scully's
aortal vein to show he meant business. "You know I'll do it."
Mulder stepped up short. Krycheck was a crazy rat bastard. In his heart he knew Krycheck
would kill Scully to escape. And if Scully died, Mulder would die of a broken heart. He
loved her that much. What could he do to safe the day? Skinner was lying on the ground in
a prawn position, gasping and moaning for breath. The situation looked helpless!
"You'll never get out of this alive Krycheck," Mulder put as much warning in his voice as
the situation mustard. "The place is crawling with FBI agents. It's just a matter of time."
"If I go down," Krycheck bent Scully's head back, "then Scully goes down too!" He slid
the knife against her throat.
Mulder raised his gun, readying to shoot when all of a sudden Krycheck was lying on the
ground, cupping his good shoulder with his fake arm, blood sporting all over the place.
Mulder turned and spotted Anna Reckshun. Her gun was pointed at Kryshcheck, still
smoking. Skinner jumped up, took off his pirate bandanna and tied up Krychek's hands.
Once Krycheck was rendered submitted, Skinner ran over and grabbed Anna Reckshun
with both hands.
"Walter? Are you OK?" Anna gasped, closing her eyes in relief and dropping the gun to the
ground.
"Anna? Is it really you?" Skinner whispered.
As they glazed into each other's eyes, Mulder took Scully's arms and walked them to a
more private spot.
"Are you OK Scully?" Deep concerned trembled in his voice as he searched her face.
"I'm fine Mulder." Scully gave him a shy look, casting her eyes to the ground. She was
afraid that Mulder would see into her heart and realize how deep and wonton her desires
were.
"Why did you ignore me at the party, Scully? Why?" Mulder let all of his hurt and pain
show on his face.
"I don't know," Scully mumbled shuffling her feet on the cement. "I guess I saw you with
Kimberly and I got jealous."
Mulder's brow burrowed and his forehead creased. "Kimberly?"
"She was all over you like a cheap suite, Mulder."
Mulder chucked. "Scully, she means nothing to me. If you had kept watching, you would
have seen that I brushed her off as fast as I could. I don't want her." He moved closer so
that his mouth was a hare's breath away from hers. "I want you, Scully. Only you."
Scully's breath hatched in her throat. Did he just say what she thought he said? Tears filled
her eyes, unbitten.
"I love you, Dana. I always have. Ever since our first case in Oregano."
"That long?" she enquired.
He capped her face with his hands. "That long. I've been hiding it because I didn't think
you felt the same way."
Emotion overwhelmed her and she threw her arms around Fox Mulder. She was going to
tell him that she loved him too, but out of the corner of her eyes she saw two people
approaching. It was Skinner, and he was leaning on Anna Reckshun for support. Mulder
and Scully separated faster than oil and vinegar in Italian salad dressing.
"Agent Scully, are you alright?" Anna Reckshyn touched the dried blood on Scully's
forehead.
"Yes, I'm fine. But Assistant Director Skinner is in need of medical attention. His leg may
be broken."
"The ambulance should be here in a few minutes," Anna Reckshyn replied. "I'll stay with
him and make sure he gets off okay. Why don't you go home, Agent Scully. You look like
you could use some rest."
"Yes, thank you," Scully said politely, but rest was the last thing she had on her mind. She
eyeballed her partner and the lopsided shirk on his face told her he was thinking the same
she was.
They were going to have sex!!
* * * * * * *
Mulder dove Scully home. It was late and the agent hadn't wanted to get her car from the
FBI costume party. So Mulder proffered to take one of the riot vans and take her home.
Mulder was nervous on the ride home, thinking maybe it was all a dream and he would
wake up on his couch alone with Bigfoot playing in the background. As he neared her
horse, he began to formula the idea that it was all for real and not some pigment of his
imagination. Scully loved him and they were going to have congenial sex!
Silently, they entered her apartment without saying a word. Scully quietly hung up her
coat, at a loss for words. Mulder tailed behind, equally lost and muted. They were like two
confused sale boats that didn't know which way the wind was blowing. For five years or
so they had waited for this moment.
Scully cleared her throat nervously. "Do you want something to drink? I have some herbal
tea. Camisole, I think. " She was trying to act causal as she walked to the kitchen, but she
was shaking like a leaf on a tree during a hurricane, like that time when they went to
Florida and met up with Arthur Fiedler.
Before she got too far Mulder caught her arm. "No, Scully. I'm not thirsty." Not for tea,
he thought to himself as he pulled her closet. "There's no reason to be nervous. It's me.
Mulder, your partner."
Scully hugged him and laughed in his shirt. Of course it was Mulder. She felt so safe in his
arms, like an angle had folded its wings around her.
She looked up at him, studying him under her lashes. "I'm not nervous, Mulder..."
Mulder's hand went to her lips. "No. Call me Fox."
"Fox," she said, letting the word roll off her tounge. "I'm not nervous, Fox. Not with
you."
Mulder bent down to meet her lips with his. Their lips fit together perfectly and there
wasn't any awkwardness with noses or bad breath or anything because they had waited
five or more years for this and they just knew everything would be perfect. The kiss
deepened, their tongues swimming together like two sea otters froliking in the warm ocean
currant.
Suddenly, without warning, they exploded upon each other in the same way a barbecue
coal catches fire after you put a whole can of butane fluid on it. They were hot with desire
and passions as they tore off each other's costumes. Scully took care to place hers neatly
on the couch because she didn't want to lose the deposit she had given the costume shop.
Mulder watched her as she smoothed out her costume, careful to make sure no creases got
in it or she'd have to iron it before returning it. She was clad in only an emerald green satin
bra with matching bimini panties. Her beauty took his breath away, like if someone had
punched him in the stomach, only this was better because it didn't hurt.
When Scully turned around to face her lover, she was concerted by the look on his face.
"What's wrong?"
Mulder shook his head. "You are even more beautiful than the Queen of the Nike herself,
Dana."
She blushed and then hungrily eyed her partner, who was wearing black silk boxers,
which were her favorite. "You're not looking too scabby yourself, Fox. Your barge boy
costume was good, but this is even better!"
He laughed and took her into his arms. He kissed her, long and hard, and his nimrod
fingers undid the clasp on her bra. The silk flattered to the floor at their feet. He pulled back
to take a good look at her.
Scully sucked in a breath. Would he find her desirable? She knew about his infinity for
porn and she knew she didn't measure up to the video vixens he was used to watching on
his VHF.
"So beautiful, Dana. So beautiful," he whispered, his voice husky with desire. He quickly
deposed her of her matching green panties. His face lit up with a coniferous smile as his
eyes took in the site of her.
Mulder motioned with his finger. "Come here, Dana. Come to me."
She tried to move but when she put one foot foreward, her knees bucked. She felt like her
legs had become two wet noodles, the rounds ones like ziti, not linguini or spaghetti. Her
entire body felt like she had lost all of her bones, only she knew she really hadn't lost her
bones because you couldn't do that without dying.
With a few words, spoken in that low, sexy, horse voice of his, Mulder had the ability to
turn her into a limp pile of mussel and flesh. But Scully wasn't ready to let him know what
he was doing to her. She didn't want him to know that he had the upper hands. She wanted
him to be a limp pile too, and she wanted to be the one who made him that way!
She moved confidentially toward him, taking small excremental steps until she stood before
him, naked and uninhabited.
"Fare is fare," she said coily as she fingered his boxers. "Let's see what's under these."
Mulder obligated her immediately, dropping trowel and tossing the black silk boxes across
the room.
Scully sighed happily, liking what she saw. Fox Mulder was beautiful, like a marble
statute. Her mouth watered and a sea of moisture urged down her body and pooled
between her legs.
Taking her in his arms, Mulder nuzzled her ear. "So, shall I savage you here on your couch
or in your bed?"
Scully's face widened with a wicket smile. "Neither. I have a better idea."
Surprise sketched itself all over Mulder's face and he clocked his head to one side. Scully
wasn't acting like the Scully he had worked with all these years. Maybe her clothes call
with death had bought out a new side of his partner. Well, he liked these new sides,
especially the naked ones. They made him hot and blustery like a tropical storm.
Scully gently edged herself out of Mulder's surprised arms. Her legs were still weak but
they didn't feel like pasta anymore. They felt more like the Jell-O her Aunt Sally made for
the family unions with the little marshmallows and coconuts on the bottom. Sighing
deeply, she willed her bones and flesh to get hard again and walked them over to the
kitchen table. Raising a well-shaped calf, she inched up on the top of the table and choked
out an inverting smile.
"Scully?" Mulder's eyes goggled outside of his head as he multiplied two plus two. "The
table?"
"Even better," she crooned in a sweet voice. As graceful as a lumber ballerina, she roped
an arm around the chandelier. Scully was small but agile. Her bicuspids were especially
strong since she had done a lot of pushovers at Quantico. She reached out her next arm and
got a second gripe on the light fixture. Her upper body took her weight and Scully
delicately balanced mast and gravity to hang distended in midair.
As Mulder watched in awe, his internal tropical storm upgraded itself to a full pledged
hurricane.
Scully allowed her darkened eyes to run all over Mulder's body just the way she wanted
her run her hands to run all over his body but couldn't because she was using them to hang
onto the chandelier. She didn't want to ruin the night by falling and having to minister first
aid on herself. She sighed. Even from this height Mulder was a damned good looking
man. His skin was tarnished a golden brown all over and his lean body moved with a
primate urgency as he floated across the room toward her.
Suddenly, without any warning, Scully felt a deep hunger raise inside herself. She was a
starving woman and Fox Mulder was the dessert. From the looks of it a Snickers Bar.
King Sized.
Mulder reached out and ran his hand down Scully's leg. She was so beautiful. And naked.
And swining from a chandelier. Just for him. This was better than the Christmas that his
mom and dad gave him the Presto Magic Kit so he could be like the guy from his favorite
TV show, The Magistrate.
"Dana," he said, his voice rough like wallpaper. "I've always dreamed about this. You,
me, crystal glassware. You have no idea."
Oh, but she did. She had thought about Mulder and her christmassing all of the furniture in
her apartment: her bed, her couch, her chase lounge, her kitchen counter, even her antique
amour.
"Fox! I need you!" she cried as she wiggled around, making the crystal tinkle above her.
Mulder knew that was his clue! He scrambled up on the table. With her hanging like she
was, his mouth was flushing with her breasts. They were beautiful! Soft, round globs just
waiting for his attention. Unable to recess temptation, he took a tawny peek inside his
mouth.
Scully mooned her appreciation. She wanted to so badly to touch him, but her arms were
holding her to the chandelier. So she locked her legs around his waste and pulled him
closer.
"Dana," her mergered against her chest, "Dana are you sure?"
"Yes, Fox, I'm sure. I love you more than like itself. Please, we've waited five or six
years for this. Don't make us wait any longer. Take me now!!"
Fox was filled with a sense of great expectations and interior longings. He was about to
plumage Dana Scully! Right here, right now. He consorted his body, rearranging his limbs
until he was underneath where Scully was swinging from. He was breathing hard and his
face was flashed from the insertion of his efforts.
"Oh, Fox," Dana groaned. "Hurry!"
He leaned back on the table, spread out like a bald eagle and grazed up her glistening
thighs. They were white and creamy like two scoops of vanilla ice cream except they
weren't round exactly, but more slender like a couple of Eskimo Pies without the crunchy
chocolate coating. His eyes went up her body to the intersection of her legs were there
grew a patch of red public hair. It camouflagged the hidden pedals of her womanhood and
he groaned out loud at the site.
Dana Scully was beautiful. Gorgeous. His.
"I love you Dana!" He said with passionate tones.
"I can't wait any longer," Dana breathed in a husked voice. With a careful flip of her legs
she dismounted the chandeleer and landed on Mulder like an Olympic gymnasium. Scully
was small, but agile. That was why she could climb through small tunnels and save
Mulder's ass every once in a while and still not get her pantsuits dirty. She kissed him
hard, pressing her lips against his, parting them with surgical delicacy by using her tongue
as an instrument of pleasure.
Mulder was trapped inside Hurricane Dana.
For once he was happy to be inside the aye of her storm. Usually when she threw her
passion in his direction it was when she was muffed at him, but this time it was desire in
her eyes instead of madness.
Mulder plundered into her, feeling the creamy interior, moist and hot and sweet like a
Hostess cupcake left out in the sun. Her womanliness held him like a wet vice that
squeezed him like a warm fist. He was so close he thought he would spontaneously
compost.
"Harder, Fox! Harder!" Scully screamed at the tip of her lungs. Her things shaked from the
pressure of moving up and down on Fox's steel loverod but she ignored the pane. She
could feel the waive of her desire cresting around her, pushing her to the cuspid of
oblivion. She had never had an organic experience before, but this was Mulder and with
him it was different. It was just like one of those Clariol Herbal Essence commercials
except her hair was a lot shorter and it wasn't wet.
"Dana! Dana, I can't hold back!" Mulder was seeing stars imploding all around him. It was
like a Fourth of July fireworks show just for him, only there wasn't the loud booming
noises or the screaming kids.
"Don't hold back," she breathed in his ear as she licked at his lob. "I am a desert and you
are my oasis. Please, Fox! Fill me with your love!!"
So he did. And at the exact same moment, her organism gripped her and threw her out of
her body, floating her to the ceiling to have her look down on herself and Fox as their
bodies were racked with pleasure. It was the most incredulous sight she had ever seen.
Mulder collapsed onto her like a crumbling building. He tried to push himself up on his
elbows but Scully held him close to her.
"But I'm crusing you," he said breathlessly.
"No you're not. Please stay."
So Mulder staid for a very long time.
THE END!
----We are not who we are . . .
Anubis
anubislm@aol.com
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