| ABOUT PLACES OF REFUGE MINISTRY |
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| It was in 1988 that I was arrested. My entire world was torn apart because of my past behaviors that were bourne out of pride, selfishness, and anger over the fact that I thought that I should have a much better life than I had. If I had been seeing past myself, I would have realized that I had a lot and I was very blessed. If you have read "My Story" you know the basics of what happened to me and my famly and the blessed outcome that is still happening today. With God in the lead, things will continue to get more and more blessed!! Praise His Holy Name!! I don't know if you have ever been totally alone without anyone near you for comfort and solace. I found myself in that position for the first time in my life at age 44. There was no comfort in that jail cell. Others there had their own troubles and mine, I'm sure, didn't amount to anything to them. I needed to find some sort of refuge from the deep shame and saddness that I felt for what I had done to my family and to my friends. Every day the guards would bring in some books from the library on a cart. It was filled with paperbacks of every type. I walked over to the cart thnking that there must be something there for me to help me get some kind of a new beginning. As I approached the cart, a book fell out on the floor and I pcked it up. It was a Robert Schueller devotonal book, the kind that has a devotonal message for every day of the week for a year. I began reading it and t wasn't long before I knew what I needed was a relationship with Jesus Christ. This was the beginning of my journey to find real peace and contentment. Something that I had never known before. The first thing I needed was comfort. I really needed a "hug" and after reading that devotional book I started reading the Bible. I started with the Psalms. Some of the scriptures which meant a lot to me are:Ps 46:1-3- "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried to the midst of the sea; Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof." Ps 138:7- "Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou will revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me." Ps 9:9-"The Lord will also be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in tmes of trouble." This knowledge that God would not forsake me or leave me there in the pit to rot gave me the strength I needed to be able to see that something good was going to come out of the mess I had created. I was gong to be all right! I was gong to be able to rebuild my life and although it was going to take some time, I was going to make it!!!!! |
| ".......to know wisdom. Purge me and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which you have broken may rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, Oh, God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence; and take not your holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of your salvation; and uphold me with your free spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways; and sinners will be converted unto you. (This tells a little about what a saved, born-again Christian is going to do, the great commission to go out and preach the gospel to others.) Deliver me from guiltiness, Oh God, you God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of your righteousness. Oh Lord, open my lips; and my mouth shall show forth your praise. For you desire not sacrifice; or else I would give it; you delight not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, Oh God, you will not despise. Then shall you be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness.? Please, Lord, forgive me of my sins, come live in my heart, and accept me into your eternal kingdom, never to be separated from You again, from this day forward. I give myself to you, and I thank you, God, in Jesus? name, AMEN. For a copy of most of what you just read,see Psalms 51. Remember, although Jesus paid it all, if you are truly saved, born-again, you will now have a desire to pray, read the Bible, follow God and walk in the HOLY SPIRIT (God), because this Christian relationship you now have will take first priority! |
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| Instead of getting intelligent Words our Faith has to be provoked. Instead of figuring our what you're supposed to be doing all the time you should just Expand your Hope in all the Good Things GOD is doing. Instead of trying to gain power and monopolize things there needs to be a real Release in LOVE. Faith is Walking with GOD and just knowing that GOD is around and active not only in your life but those GOD sends you to. Faith is challenging yourself not letting yourself form ritualistic habits. Faith is accepting the Brethren and doing your thing in the Body. Faith is being on Fire and wanting to ruin the world for JESUS. Hope is growing Closer to GOD no matter what's going on. Hope is not having it all figured out but just tackling things head on as you want to see GOD. Hope is knowing GOD is about to do great things and just moving to get near what's going on. Hope is not controlling the Body, it's inspiring the Body and making things more practical. LOVE is turning everything over to GOD and wanting to be part of His Army. It's softening yourself as you learn more about GOD and gain that Fear. It's emptying yourself of you and really praising the Things GOD is about. We need to focus on LOVE right now. We got to get away from works and what we're doing and focus on GOD's Covenant and Goodness and what He's "About"(knowledge&activity). It's time to break away from religious things and be GOD's People for real. There's a Word in the air to let GOD be the one who's in charge and you couldn't get closer to that than really focusing on Faith Hope and LOVE. As long as we're reaching for GOD's best we need to go through these and not anything we've done to bring Revival or whatever. |
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| AND A STUDY ON PSALM 51 |
1. Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: According to the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. I was in a jail for the first time in my life. I never thought that I would ever be in a position like the one I was in. Overcome with shame, guiilt, and fear, I had no idea what to expect. I was hoping for probation due to the fact that I had no previous record and had been a good citizen. The fact still remained that I was locked up. My family and friends had all but written me off and the ones who hadn’t , like my son and daughter, had no say in the matter. I was never so alone. Alone with my guilt ane shame. I wanted it to all go away. I wanted everything to be the same as it was and I would be at home with my family. This was not the case. I prayed to God, whom I really didn’t know, to release me from that place. I knew that would not happen. I did, however have the feeling that He would forgive me. Just what I had to do to have this happen, I did not know. 2. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin. I knew that I needed to be cleansed from my sins but I really didn’t know what that would mean. The term “cleanse” not only means to clean, but to scrub. I was going to get a good scrubbing down before my jouney would be over. God goes after those He calls and it is necessary for the “called” to undergo a thurough cleaning. This involves some pruning and regrowth. Re-birth is a lot like that. Out of the ashes, the Pheonix that is our “new person” rises to the new life that God provides through the blood of His only begoatten Son, Jesus Christ. 3. For I know my transgressions; And my sin is ever before me. There was no doubt about what I had done. Everything I did while in jail and prison and everything I do now is done with the thoughts of my past transgressions. God had forgiven me but the consequences of my action are still making themselves known even today. When we sin, the effects of that sinning stays with us and colors all we do for the rest of our lives. The main point is what we do with it. It is the “ripple-effect” at work. We never really know the far reaching effects of our sin, but we do know that it happens. “The sins of the fathers are visited on the sons.” This saying is, unfortunately true. In order to turn the effects around or soften the blow is to get right with God. 4. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, And done that which is evil in thy sight; That thou mayest be justified when thou speakest, And be clear when thou judgest. I thought that it was bad enough that I had harmed my family and myself, but when I came to the realization that I had also sinned against God, I was in great fear of what God had in mind for me. I did know that I wasn’t going to get off “scott free”. There is always a penalty imposed when a law is broken. One of the sure ways to tell if there really is a God is to break one of His laws and commandments and watch what happens. The chastizing isn’t always immediate, but as sure as there is a God in heaven, the chastizing will come! The clarity of the judgement of God came to me when I was sentenced. There would be no parole or probation. There would be imprisonment. 5. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity; And in sin did my mother conceive me. We are all born in sin. It isn’t our fault or our parents, it is the result of the fall of Adam and Eve in the garden that has brought us all into condemnation. There is only one way out. A person must accept Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. He died for us so that we might gain salvation through the blood of His sacrifice. I had to accept Him! It was the only way out of the life choices that I had made that brought me to the point that I was finding myself in. Locked up and totally foresaken. 6. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts; And in the hidden part thou wilt make me to know wisdom. A person might be able to fool another person but one can never completely fool oneself and one connot ever fool God! Just as the “Prodigal Son” had to “come to himself”, I had to acknowledge the fact that I had done a grave wrong and all of the justifying and excuse making could not hide the fact that I was the cause of the misery that I was feeling, my family was feeling, and my friends were feeling. There is a place deep down insde all of us where we like to “hide” sometimes. It is our refuge from the world and all of the stuff the world has to offer. Sometimes when we go to that secret place, the solace is not there. The peace that was there is taken over by unrest caused by a deep wrong that we have done. Our conscience is telling us that we must do something about the unrest, or we will never be able to find peace in our lives again. This is the wisdom of our “hidden part”. The Holy Spirit tells us what must be done. 7. Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. To be Purified in this sence is to be offered up as a sacrifice for sins committed. This is a very scary ordeal! The idea is that after one is sacrificed or had the blame put on them for a transgression, then they will be purified or uncontaminated. The washing has to do with a cleansing by trampling and stomping with the feet in soapy water or other cleaning fluid in order to get a complete cleaning. It is the “fuller” process that is needed. I felt this cleansing. The consequences of my actions were heavy indeed. Some take this cleansing and turn away from God because they are mad at Him and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. I, on the other hand, took the cleansing as most do with the idea that it was nescessary if I was to fully repent for my mis-deeds and begin anew as a born again Christian. 8. Make me to hear joy and gladness, That the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. I was beginning to feel the presence of God in my life. I welcomed the process that I had started and would go through the rest of the way in order to attain the transformation that was necessary. The ‘BONES” refers to the old body or old self. It hints that even the “old self” was struggling to find what God had to offer, but was always looking in other places. Now the “old self” can rejoice because I had finally found the true path to peace and solace. I could look at whatever would befall me as another step in gaining the salvation I needed and the new life I hungered for. 9. Hide thy face from my sins, And blot out all mine iniquities. Through the process of repentence and acknowledgement of our sins, God, because of the sacrifice of His Son, not only hides our sins from His face, He closes them up and shuts them out. He erases all of our evil that we have done. With Jesus as our Savior and Lord, all of our sins are atoned for. The past, present ane future sins are forgiven and with that knowledge we try our very best to follow and obey the Lord, Our God. I knew that God would forgive me, but I wasn’t holding much hope that the victims of my actions would ever forgive me. This is another consequence of my actions. I would have to leave it up to God and the Holy Spirit to handle that part of the atoning. 10. Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me. A new courage was working inside me and my thoughts were on God instead of myself and my situation. I started looking at everything differently as a way to true salvation. Kindness and love began to work in my heart for others and not myself. A spirit of love , giving and tenderness was at work in my life. The only sadness was that I couldn’t share it with the ones who were close to me. I couldn’t hold my family in my arms and have them benefit from my new condition. More of the ravages of sin in my life. I kept getting nearer to God in order to calm the fear and sadness brought about by my sins. 11. Cast me not away from thy presence; And take not thy holy Spirit from me. As I began to rely on God more and more, the fear that He would abandon me was giving me quite a lot of worry. I was beginning to enjoy the Holy Spiti’s leading and I wanted to know more about God, His Son and the Holy Spirit. If He would ever leave me, I would be lost forever. Separated from Him for an eternity, never to regain the fellowship I was beginning to enjoy. 12. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with a willing spirit. I needed that full knowledge that I was actually going to receive salvation and forgiveness. Along with this, I needed to have the strength to carry oon with whatever was to happen to me. I needed to be up held and comforted as I went about reading and studying God’s Word and spending my time at that prison. I would use this time to benefit myself and others. 13. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; And sinners shall be converted unto thee. This is when I decided that I must become a spreader of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! I wanted everyone to know and feel the pure peace and joy that came with becoming a child of God by accepting His Son, Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior!! A new mission had arrisen in me. This is what I wanted to do, but not by my own power. It must be by the power of the Holy Spirit within me or I would fail. 14. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation; And my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. By accepting Jesus into my heart, I was being spared form the second death, which is the separation from God for eternity. I would be in His presence for ever. This is the deliverance from bloodguiltness. Because of the deliverance by God, I shall now be able to sing the praises of God. The wording used in this scripture tells of shouting from the roof tops the righteousness of God. 15. O Lord, open thou my lips; And my mouth shall show forth thy praise. If it were to up to me, I would never know what to say or do when the chance came to tell of the love of God for us. I would have to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my words and then I would know that God would be speakng through me as He has done through mllions of people throughout the ages. What a priveledge, What an honor!!!!! Thank you dear Lord for all you have done for me!!! 16. For thou delightest not in sacrifice; Else would I give it: Thou hast no pleasure in burnt-offering. The mere actions of religeous rites and chants are not what God needs from us. He requires more. If it were possible, we would give Him all of the lip servce we could. Much more is needed if I was to really turn my life around. 17. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: A broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Through the ordeal that I put myself through, I found out what a truly broken heart was. I had completely ruined my family. My wife would divorce me, my daughter would try to think that her father was even alve, and my son would grow up wthout ever really knowing his father. I was truly contrite and my spirit was at an all time low. It was the low that comes and you don’t know whether to kill yourself or just find a hole to crawl into and hide for the rest of your pathetic life. Some go into the prisons with the idea of hiding. They don’t and can’t face the reality of the world or what they had done. It is a hiding place. It works for a whle, but rather soon one has to confront the truth and the nature of his actions. Some give up and die. Others get up and put their trust in God, accept Jesus , and follow the guidence of the Holy Spirit in order to get their lives straight . This is the choice I made. 18. Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: Build thou the walls of Jerusalem. God will go on with His work in this world. He will bless those who come to Him and He will curse those who don’t. I wanted to be among those who were on the side of the blessings, both on the receiving end and the apostalic end. He will do as He will do. He is God. Much better to go along with Him than without Him. In this life and definitely in the life to come! 19. Then will thou delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, In burnt-offering and in whole burnt-offering: Then will they offer bullocks upon thine altar. After accepting Christ, and fully offering myself in the service of the Lord. After I realized that I needed Him in order to carry on with my life in a proper manner. After I gave myself completely to Him, then and only then did my puny, little acts of devotion have any meaning what-so-ever!! Anything I do in the name of Jesus Christ must be done with atotal guidence of God through the Holy Spirit. God accepts these offerings when done from the heart and in the vein of absolute self sacrifice and joy! The work of God is done primarily though the Holy Spirit. We are merely the vessels by which the Word of God is spread thoughout the world. I am forever blessed because of the work of the Holy Spirit gven through the chaplains and fellow Christian inmates who helped bring me to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. This is why I am in prison ministry. I am blessed, so you be blessed with the Word and Knowledge of God, Jesus and Holy Spirit as your lead. |
| A STUDY ON PSALM 51 |
| The Nicene Creed Constantinople, 381 A.D. I believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible; And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, begotten of his Father before all worlds, God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with the Father; by whom all things were made; who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Ghost of the Virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for us under Pontius Pilate; he suffered and was buried; and the third day he rose again according to the Scriptures, and ascended into heaven, and sitteth on the right hand of the Father; and he shall come again, with glory, to judge both the quick and the dead; whose kingdom shall have no end. And I believe in the Holy Ghost the Lord, and Giver of Live, who proceedeth from the Father [and the Son]; who with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified; who spake by the Prophets. And I believe one holy Apostolic Church; I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins; and I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. AMEN. |
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