| WORSHIP |
| Worship Under the Old Covenant The Tabernacle Before the giving of the law under the Mosaic covenant, worship of God often included sacrifice of an animal on an altar made of rock and earth, and was dedicated to God by the worshiper. (See: Gen. 8:20; 12:7-8; 33:20) As expressed in Ps. 40:1-8, God looks to the faith of the person and his or her obedience to God's direction more than to sacrifice. Abraham's faith was "counted to him " for righteousness God looking to the intent of his heart and soul (Gen. 15:6). In the Mosaic law, to provide a framework for regular worship, God ordained that the Israelites would provide him with an abode for his earthly manifestation: the tabernacle. Detailed plans were given for a large tent with two rooms. The first room contained commemorative items, a stand for showbread, a golden candlestick, and an altar of incense. The second room was the Holy of Holies. In it were the Ark of the Covenant, a gold-covered chest containing the law, a pot of manna, and later the rod of Aaron (Ex. 16:33; Nu. 17:10; Heb. 9:2-4). The lid of the ark was called the mercy seat and was engraved with two figures representing angelic beings called cherubim. The Holy of Holies was separated from the other room by a heavy curtain called the veil. Only the high priest could enter the Holy of Holies, and then only once per year on the day of atonement (Lev. 16:1-28). The tabernacle was surrounded by a fence composed of curtains supported by a wooden frame, forming the courtyard around the tabernacle. In front of the tabernacle in the courtyard were placed an altar for making animal sacrifices and a laver (a washstand) for use by the priests in performing the required washings (Ex. 35-40). The tabernacle served as the central point for worship until it was replaced by a permanent temple built under Solomon In furtherance of the Abrahamic covenant, God calls out Moses in about 1450 B.C. to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. God makes a covenant with Moses and the Israelites that this is the time when they are to occupy the promised land. This covenant includes a code of laws beginning with the Ten Commandments; instructions for building a tabernacle and the Ark of the Covenant; instruction on how to worship God and to obtain forgiveness of sin. The words of God are to be put down in writing and preserved within the Ark of the Covenant. The terms and conditions of this covenant are in Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The heart of the covenant is found in Dt. 28:20. If the Israelites keep the commandments and the law with heart and soul, they will be blessed both spiritually and materially. They shall become a nation above other nations. The covenant applies to them and to others not with them. But if the covenant is ignored, they will suffer dire consequences including dispersion to and captivity in other lands. If this should happen, provision is made for repentance, restoration of their relationship with God, and reestablishment of their nation. The Psalms and the writing prophets record God's desire for a right heart-attitude in worship as preferable to sacrifices and offerings made simply because they were prescribed by the Mosaic code. The people are called to magnify the name of the Lord, to repent, to be sorrowful for their sins, to seek God's forgiveness, which he will give because of his loving kindness (Ps. 40; Isa. 1:11-18). He will make an everlasting and merciful covenant applicable to everyone (Hos. 1:10; 2:23; Isa. 55:3-5; 61:8); a covenant of peace and safety (Ezek. 34:25). In about 600 B.C., Jeremiah reports God's intention to put the new covenant in operation for a Jewish nation chastened and cleansed by their captivity in Babylon. This new covenant will not be according to the covenant made through Moses, which they broke. Under this new covenant, God will put his law in their "inward parts." No one will have to teach others to know the Lord, for all shall know him. He will forgive their iniquity and remember their sin no more (Jer. 31:31-34; see also Ezek. 36:33). About the same time as Jeremiah's prophecy, Joel prophesies that the day will come when God will pour out his spirit on all mankind; that whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be a new spirit (Ezek. 36:26-27) [NOTE: In the New Testament Jesus says that his is the blood of the new covenant (Lk. 22:20). In Hebrews 8-10, it is said that Jesus is the fulfillment of the new covenant set forth by Jeremiah, and that Jesus is the mediator of its terms. In Acts 2:16-21, Peter declares the fulfillment of Joel's Prophecy.] The Messiah: The new covenant presages a new beginning the ultimate in God's relationship with his covenant-people. He will be their God, and they will be his people. There will be peace in the land, and the great prophet, like Moses, will lead mankind into all the right paths (Dt. 18:15-18). This prophet is the Messiah (Dan. 9:25). David and other psalmists speak of him (Ps. 2; 8:5; 16:10; 45; 72; 110; 118:22-26), and the words of the prophets are specific: he will be born of a virgin (Isa. 7:14) in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2); he will be of David's line (Isa. 11:1-5, 10; Jer. 23:5); and, as God's son, he will also be "the mighty God, everlasting Father, prince of peace"(Isa. 9:6; Dan. 9:25) and "son of man"(Dan. 7:13). He will be a humble king who will come riding upon a "colt, the foal of an ass," bringing salvation to the people (Zech. 9:9). Being prince, shepherd (Ezek. 34:23-24), and servant, yet righteous judge (Isa. 11:1-5; 52:13-15), he will be rejected (Isa. 53:3) and sold for 30 pieces of silver (Zech. 11:12). He will be slain, bearing the sins of many and being counted among wrongdoers (Isa. 53:12). But he will rise again and make intercession for the transgressors (Isa. 53:10-12). [NOTE: The Hebrew word "mashiach," which is rendered "messiah" in English, and the Greek word "christos," from which comes the word "Christ," both have the same meaning, namely, "anointed one." In the New Testament Jesus says that he is the Messiah proclaimed in the Old Testament (Lk. 22:67-70), and fulfillment of these prophecies is declared (Lk. 4:17-21). There are other Old Testament prophecies about the Messiah; according to some, there are as many as 300. The Open Bible lists 38.] wor ship (wur ip) n. [[ME worschip < OE weorthscipe, honor, dignity, worship: see WORTH1 & -SHIP]] 1 a) reverence or devotion for a deity; religious homage or veneration b) a church service or other rite showing this 2 extreme devotion or intense love or admiration of any kind 3 [W-] [Chiefly Brit., etc.] a title of honor: used in speaking to or of magistrates, mayors, or certain others holding high rank: preceded by Your or by His or Her 4 [Rare] something worshiped 5 [Rare] a distinct type of religious group, as a sect 6 [Archaic] greatness of character; honor; dignity; worthiness vt. -shiped or -shipped, -ship ing or -ship ping 1 to show religious devotion or reverence for; adore or venerate as a deity 2 to have intense love or admiration for; adore or idolize vi. to engage in worship, or perform an act of religious devotion; specif., to offer prayers, attend church services, etc. SYN. REVERE1 wor ship er or wor ship per n. worship, n. 1. [Adoration] --Syn. prayer, devotion, homage, adulation, benediction, invocation, supplication, beatification, veneration, (burnt) offering, reverence, honor, Mariolatry, hagiolatry, religious ritual. 2. [A religious service] worship, v. 1. [To adore] --Syn. esteem, honor, exalt; see admire 1, love 1. 2. [To perform acts of worship] --Syn. sanctify, pray to, invoke, venerate, glorify, praise, exalt, offer one's prayers to, pay homage to, recite the rosary, tell one's beads, return or give thanks, offer thanks to, sing praises to, reverence, celebrate, adore, revere, laud, extol, magnify, chant, sing, bow down, canonize; |
| PRAISE Examples of: (Ps 7:17; 22:22-23; 28:6-7; 32:11; 34:1-3; 41:13; 42:4; 51:15; 65:1; 71:8,14-15; 75:1; 79:13; 81:1; 84:4; 86:12; 104:33-34; 109:30; 113:1-2; 115:18; 118:15; 140:13; 145:1-21; 146:1-10; 148:1-14; 149:1-9; 150; Isa 24:15-16; 25:1; 35:10; 38:19; 43:21; 49:13; 51:3; 52:7-10; Jer 31:7; Ro 11:36; 16:27; 1Co 15:57; Eph 3:20-21; Heb 2:12; Jude 25; Rev 1:6; 14:7). With music (Ps 33:2-3; 43:3-4; 47:1,6-7; 57:7-9 w 108:1-3; 66:1-2, 4; 67:4; 68:4,32-34; 69:30; 71:22; 81:1; 92:1-3; 95:1-2; 98:4-6; 104:33; 144:9; 149:2-3; 150:3-5; Jas 5:13). Daily (1Ch 23:30; Ps 92:1-2; 145:2). In the night (Ps 42:8; 63:5-6; 77:6; 92:1-3; 119:62; 134:1; 149:5; Ac 16:25). Seven times a day (Ps 119:164). Congregational (Ps 22:22; 26:12; 68:26; 111:1; 116:18-19; 134:1-2; 135:2; 149:1). For God's goodness and mercy (Ps 13:6; 63:3-6; 100:5; 101:1; 106:1, 48; 107:8-9,15,21,31; 117:2; 118:29; 136; 138:2; 144:1-2; 145:7-9, 14-21; 146:7-9; Isa 12:1-6; Jer 33:11). For God's greatness (Ps 48:1; 145:3,10-12; 147:1-20; Isa 24:14). For God's holiness (Ps 99:2,5, 9). For God's works (Ps 9:1-2; 107:8-9,15,21,31-32; 145:4-6,10-13; 147:12-18; 150:2). For deliverance from enemies (Ge 14:20; Ps 44:7-8; 54:6-7; 69:16). For salvation (Isa 61:3). Commanded: (Dt 8:10; Ps 9:11; 30:4; 32:11; 33:1-3; 69:34; 70:4; 95:1-2,6-7a; 96:1-4,7-9; 97:12; 100:1-5; 105:1-5; 117:1; 134:1-2; 135:1-3,19-21; Isa 42:10-12; Eph 5:19; Heb 13:15; 1Pe 4:11; 5:11). All nations to praise God (Ps 69:34; 103:22; 148:1-14). Angels exhorted to (Ps 103:20-21; 148:2). In heaven (Ne 9:6; Job 38:7; Ps 103:20-21; 148:2-4; Isa 6:3; Eze 3:12; Lk 2:13-14; 15:7,10; Rev 1:6; 4:8-11; 5:9-14; 7:9-12; 11:16-17; 14:2-3; 15:3-4; 19:1-6). The Cost of True Worship 2 Samuel 24:24 David's response is timeless: he sees that worship which costs you nothing is not true worship at all. It is typical of David that even after falling into sin, he was not blinded to spiritual concerns. Feeling guilty already, he might have thought "one more compromise" would make no difference. Instead he stuck to his principleInspirational Insight Why All the Fuss about Idols? The strange practice that led to a kingdom's fall They followed worthless idols and themselves became worthless. 2 Kings 17:15 You cannot read very far in the Old Testament without encountering idols, for idolatry ranks as perhaps the most common topic in the Bible. A nagging question haunts these pages: Why did the Israelites keep deserting the God who had delivered them from Egypt for the sake of carved tree trunks and bronze statues? What was the big attraction? Idolatry seems especially strange to us in modern times. Today, idols may show up as exotic props in a movie, but does anyone truly believe in them anymore? Why do they merit so much attention in the Old Testament? Responses to Idols Today Actually, idols still thrive in such places as Africa and Asia, and their effect on the people there sheds light on Old Testament idolatry. In India, for example, each city and village has its own favorite god--over 1,000 different gods are worshiped. Portable idols stand on street corners of the major cities. For devout Hindus, idolatry adds a dimension of magic to life. Hindus believe the gods control all events, including such disasters as monsoons, floods, diseases, and traffic accidents. These powerful gods must be kept happy at all costs. But what pleases a god depends on the god's character, and gods can be fearsome and violent. Some Indians worship idols in the form of a snake; others worship the smallpox goddess. The largest city in India, Calcutta, has adopted the murderous goddess Kali, who wears a garland of gruesome heads around her waist. Devotion to such gods can easily lead to a paralyzing fear. If Kali isn't kept happy, her followers believe, she will cruelly punish them. Other Hindus, less devout, take a different approach.They treat their gods almost as good-luck charms. A taxi driver mounts a tiny statue of a monkey god on the dashboard of his car, occasionally draping it with flowers for decoration. If you ask, he'll say he prays to the god for safety--but you know about the traffic in India, he adds with a laugh. A Good-Luck Charm or an Evil Cult Idolatry had similar effects on the ancient Israelites. Some Israelites took the same spirit as the Indian taxi driver: Maybe an idol will help you out, maybe not, but why not play along? They drifted carelessly from god to god, adopting the religion of whatever group seemed to be having the most success with its agriculture or armies. No attitude could be further from that demanded by the true God. He had chosen the Israelites as a kingdom of priests, a treasured possession set apart for him. As Lord of the universe, he wanted not a casual faith, but total allegiance. He was not a good-luck charm. Far too often, however, idols in Israel took on a more sinister form, resembling the evil goddess of Calcutta. Legends about Baal, for example, celebrated his drunkenness and debauchery. Followers worshiped him by having sex in the temple with prostitutes or even by sacrificing a human baby. Worshiping Baal meant a complete rejection of God's special relationship with the Israelites--a crime very much like adultery, as the prophets often pointed out. Baal worship could not possibly coexist with the worship of God. What Was the Appeal? Why did Baal and the other idols prove so appealing to the Israelites? Like peasants gawking at big-city life, the Israelites moved from 40 years of wilderness wanderings into a land of cities and more advanced technology. They had been landless nomads and shepherds. When they settled down to a new occupation of farming, they looked to a Canaanite god, Baal, as a possible means of guaranteeing good crops. In other words, they sought a shortcut through magic. Similarly, when a mighty army threatened their borders, they smuggled in a few of that army's favorite idols, hedging their bets in case their own religion did not bring them military success. Idols became a phantom source of power, an alternative place to invest faith and hope. Idolatry made such inroads into Israel and Judah that God had to tear apart both kingdoms in order to root it out. Second Kings clearly blames idolatry as the chief sin leading to both nations' collapse. History records that the punishment ultimately worked. After the Assyrian and Babylonian invasions, never again did the Israelites dabble in idolatry. Life Questions: Idolatry need not involve images of wood or stone; it's possible to worship such things as money, another person, or fame. What are some "idols" you might be tempted to worship?Inspirational Insight Idolatry It still flourishes, even without statues "They have forsaken me and made this a place of foreign gods." Jeremiah 19:4 Suppose you found a friend carving a small statue out of a piece of wood. "What are you going to do with that?" you ask. "I'm going to worship it," he says. "I've got a nice spot in my bedroom where I can kneel down and ask it for things." Or imagine people on a suburban street pooling their wedding rings and other jewelry to make a statue they can put in the park. They plan to kill animals and leave the meat out in front of the statue. To moderns, idolatry is as weird as cannibalism; we're not tempted to try it. But since a great part of the Old Testament is concerned with idolatry, we need to get some idea of what people saw in it--and why God condemned it. Mixing Religions In Jeremiah's day, practically everybody practiced idolatry. Israelites had a hard time seeing that a few statues interfered with their relationship with the one true God. They worshiped the God of Abraham, but mixed in the gods of countries surrounding them. They had idols right in the Jerusalem temple (7:30). They could go to worship God right after burning incense to Baal (7:9-10). They had built shrines on top of many hills--the "high places"--and under the tallest trees so that worship could be carried out conveniently, without a trip to Jerusalem. They ignored the prophets' warnings that God hated this "mixed" religion. Judah's neighbors believed in many gods, each having its sphere of influence. The Jews themselves had begun to wonder: why should their God be so different? Why should he want to knock out all competition? If idols were a fraud, mere carvings (10:4), why should God worry about them? The Evils Idols Stood For Idols were far from innocent, however. They stood for vile, angry gods who could hurt you unless you bartered for peace. The highest sacrifice? Slaughter your own son. The Israelites had adopted this practice (19:5). According to these idol-worshiping religions, success came through the fertile power of nature and the gods. You could tune in to such power by having sex with temple prostitutes, either male or female. The Israelites also borrowed this (2 Kings 23:7). These ideas disgusted the God of Israel. By mixing such practices with their devotion to him, God's people were becoming confused about his true character. (For more on idolatry, see "Why All the Fuss about Idols?" page 000.) Idolatry Today The New Testament broadens the definition of idolatry so that it applies to us, even though we worship no statues. Paul said that greed is idolatry (Ephesians 5:5; Colossians 3:5). The things people get greedy for--money, sex, power, even food--can function as little gods. When we feel depressed, we turn to them for comfort. When we're happy, we give them the credit. We gradually become their slaves. But this is exactly the place for God in our lives, and God alone. If something else takes his place, we are as guilty of idolatry as the people Jeremiah spoke to. God cannot share us. He is either the only God, or he is not God at all. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but in some situations it is the only appropriate response. A father is jealous of his children; he will fight never to give them up to another family. A husband is jealous of his wife; he will not share her most intimate love with anyone else. So God feels about his people. They belong to him, and to him alone. Life Questions: Where do you turn when you're troubled? Do money, success, popularity, or other factors serve as substitutes for God?How to Be Religious Without Pleasing God Hosea 8:11 The Israelites didn't think they were rejecting God. In fact, they became increasingly pious. (See 6:1-3; 8:2,11,13; and 10:1 for their expressions of faith.) But they wanted to worship on their terms, not God's. While their sacrifices to God increased, they kept on worshiping idols as well. |
| DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND |
| HUSBANDS KJV Ephesians 5:21-33 21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. KJV Ephesians 5:21-33 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. |
| EPHESIANS 5:21-33 It is important for us to understand that the husband is to serve the wife by taking the head in loving, and the wife is to serve the husband by takiing the lead in submisson. The husband's ministry to the wife is modeled by Christ, who as the head of the church "give himself up for her, to make her holy." The image is one of selfless gviing and seeking what promotes the growth of the body in holiness. Applied to marriage, the husband excercises his headship when he acts toward his wife as Christ acts toward the church. To be head, he has to gve himself up for her, PUT HER NEEDS FIRST, and seek always to help her mature as a Chirstian woman. There is no hint here of the distorted "chain of command" which views headship as power, and insists man is master. When applied to Christian interpersonal relationship, it speaks of "voluntary yielding in love." |
| AND |
| DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND AND MARRIAGE |
| Title: Definition of an Affair Hilde Houlding, coordinator of the Calgary Family Service Bureau's counseling division, describes an affair in this way: An affair is often an attempt to find a little bit of paradise on the side, pursuing the belief that if one just finds the right sexual partner there will be instant happiness and everything will fall into place. An affair is often able to fulfill this myth until it itself becomes a relationship that has to be worked at and looked at in a long-term light. Seen in this way "paradise" soon becomes a prison. See: Prov 5:1-23; Prov 6:23-29 Title: Another Man's Wife The young preacher was shocked to hear the well-known evangelist utter the words, "I have spent some of the happiest moments of my life in the arms of another man's wife. Yes, I have spent some of the happiest moments of my life in the arms of another man's wife." Then, following a pause, the evangelist added, "That woman was my mother." "I've got to use that!" the young pastor thought to himself. A few weeks later, as he was speaking to a civic group, the phrase leapt into his mind and he exclaimed, "I have spent some of the happiest days of my life in the arms of another man's wife." Then, after another long pause, the young man muttered meekly, "But for the life of me I can't remember who she was." See: Prov 5:15-20; 1 Cor 6:18-20 Title: Camelot Probably no story better illustrates how the sweet, stolen water of adultery turns invariably sour than the story of Camelot. In this epic tale, the relationship of King Arthur and Queen Guenevere is trespassed upon when Arthur's most renowned and trusted knight Lancelot gingerly slips his toe across the marital boundary. It started with a look -- an innocent look, without premeditation or evil intent. But it was a short, slippery step from a look to lust, from infatuation to infidelity. The look eventually led to a touch. The touch sometime later led to a kiss. The kiss, to adultery. And adultery, to tragedy. See: Prov 9:13-18 Title: Adultery Returning from Sunday School one day, where the Ten Commandments had been the topic, our young son asked his father, "Daddy, what does it mean when it says, 'Thou shalt not commit agriculture'?" There was hardly a beat between the question and my husband's smooth reply: "Son, that just means that you're not supposed to plow the other man's field," an answer satisfactory to both of them. -- Reader's Digest, July 1979, p. 87. See: Ex 20:14 Title: Diary of Deceit On May 3, 1987, the story of Gary Hart's fling with blond model and actress Donna Rice finally erupted into a national scandal. As it unraveled, the tale included accounts of her visit to his townhouse in Washington, a boat trip to Bimini, off the coast of Florida, as well as assorted reports about the promises he had allegedly made to her about their future together. Gary Hart showed no remorse. On May 5, he admitted he'd made a "big mistake" but insisted he had done "nothing immoral." On May 8, Hart announced he was withdrawing from the Presidential race. On May 25, Hart's picture with Donna Rice sitting on his lap appeared on the front page of a national weekly -- along with an account of their overnight trip to Bimini. On Sept. 22, Hart told Ted Koppel on ABC-TV's Nightline that he had not been "absolutely faithful" throughout his marriage. On Dec. 15, Gary Hart announced he had decided to re-enter the Presidential race. On Jan. 9, he told a newspaper in Des Moines, Iowa, that, if elected, he "wouldn't be the first adulterer in the White House." By Jan. 13, he had received almost $1 million of taxpayers' money for his campaign. On Jan. 15, at the Democratic Presidential candidates debate in Iowa, he maintained that "there is a difference between public morality and private morality." -- The Star See: Rom 16:18; Gal 6:7 Title: Wages of Adultery The woman who made a new life for herself after starring under the name Linda Lovelace in the pornographic movie Deep Throat needs a transplant to survive a liver disease, her book collaborator said yesterday. The writer, Mike McGrady, said that if Linda Marchiano succeeded in getting the life-saving operation, she later would have to have her breasts removed for problems caused by silicone injections she had when she was in the porn business. Reached by telephone last night at her Long Island home, Mrs. Marchiano, 37, said she was too ill to speak. "She needs a liver transplant pretty quickly," Mr. McGrady said. "It's for some form of hepatitis -- not cancer." Mr. Grady said the liver ailment was discovered by doctors examining Mrs. Marchiano to see if she could undergo a double mastectomy to treat problems caused by the breast-enlarging injections she had in the early 1970's. In Out of Bondage published earlier this year, Mr. McGrady and Mrs. Marchiano describe her life since she went public with her story and became an anti-porn campaigner. Mrs. Marchiano, now the wife of a plasterer and mother of two children, ages 10 and 6, said in her book, Ordeal in 1980 that she was coerced into prostitution and pornography by her first husband. Deep Throat came out in 1972 and she broke away from the business the following year. See: Psa 107:17 Title: Too Many Wives It was about nine o'clock at night. A man dashed into the doctor's office in a highly nervous condition and explained to the doctor that he had been in a very bad state all day. The doctor, in his best professional manner, asked if anything had happened to shock or upset his nerves. "No," the man answered, "unless it was a letter I received this morning." He showed the doctor a letter which stated in part, "If you don't stop running around with my wife, I'm going to blow your head off." The doctor answered, "Well, that's a comparatively simple matter. Why don't you just stop it?" The patient's face fell as he said, "But, Doctor, the fool forgot to sign his name!" See: Psa 31:9-13; Eph 5:11-13 Title: Commitment to Marriage Costs A North Carolina jury ordered a man to pay $234,000 for stealing the love of another man's wife. The verdict was not about money, legal experts say. Instead, it's a way for a scorned spouse to send a message that cheating isn't fair or appropriate. In August, another North Carolina jury awarded a jilted wife $1 million. North Carolina is one of the few states with alienation-of-affection laws still on the books. Most states abolished such laws when no-fault divorce laws became popular. Said Scott Altman, law professor at the University of Southern California, "Even though fault-based divorce is abolished, most people still regard infidelity as wrong and feel terribly hurt by it. So for someone to want a remedy when they feel so aggrieved, and for a jury to be sympathetic, doesn't strike me as shocking." --USA Today (9/19/97) Title: Adultery or Divorce Our Sept. 30 cover package on adultery ("Infidelity in the '90s") elicited responses from the parties typically involved in betrayal: cheaters, cheated-ons and cheated-withs. Not surprisingly, a majority condemned adultery as immoral. One reader wrote that it also demonstrates "dishonesty, immaturity, selfishness, insatiability and disrespect." A handful of letter writers, however, suggested that the ethics of adultery were not so clear-cut. One "church-going" woman reported that her five-year affair with a married man was saving her marriage. "I am not sure which is the lesser of two evils," she wrote, "adultery or divorce." -- Newsweek Magazine, October 21, 1996, p. 18. See: Exodus 20:14; Job 24:15; Prov 5:15-23; Matt 5:27; 1 Cor 6:9 Title: Jim Bakker I knew that what I was doing went directly against everything I believed as a Christian. I had never cheated on my wife in all our years of marriage. Jessica Hahn, however, seemed quite comfortable with the situation. I simply abandoned myself to the moment. We did not make love; we had sex. When it was over, I quickly left the room, and in a daze, hurried to the elevator and pressed the button marking the eighth floor. The winter afternoon sun was already beginning to slide down on the horizon as I stepped inside my room. I was horrified. Oh, God! What have I done? I had not considered the consequences of my absurd attempt to make Tammy Faye jealous. I had not even paused to think of the potential ramifications of my actions while I was giving in to the temptation of having sex with a woman other than my wife. I had simply reacted. I had opened the door to attack on the ministry I headed, my family, and me personally. Worse yet, the devil had not made me do any of it; I had done it of my own stubborn will. I disrobed and immediately stepped into the shower, turning the water on as hot as I could stand it. I never felt so dirty in all my life. Maybe if I make the water hotter, it will wash it all away, I thought. -- Jim Bakker, I Was Wrong, (Nelson, 1996), p. 21. See: Psa 51:1-4; Prov 6:32; Prov 9:17; Eph 4:22; James 1:13-15 -- |
| THE HIGH PRICE OF ADULTERY |
| Top 10 list of ways to honor and love your wife in the day-to-day. 10. Give small gifts even when it's not her birthday. When you go to the store, pick up a rose. If she likes crafts, pick up some thread. It doesn't need to be big, but it says she was in your thoughts while you were apart. 9. When she's troubled by something, even if you think it's nothing, remember that it is real to her and be supportive. 8. When she has a problem, realize that she may not be asking you to solve the problem but just to listen and let her know she's not facing it alone. 7. Let pleasing her be enough to please you. Do things pleasing to her because you love her and not just so she'll return the favor. 6. Let the things that matter to her matter to you. If she roots for a particular team, root with her. If she does cross-stitch, pick out designs that you'd like to see, and maybe even ask her to teach you how. 5. Encourage her time with other women, who understand what it means to be a woman, and can affirm her femininity in ways that only women can. 4. If you are going out, offer to run errands for her while you are out. If she is going out, ask if there are things you can do around the house while she is gone. 3. If she is trying to improve herself, take note and encourage her, but make sure you don't suggest that you'll love her more after she improves herself. 2. Not all loving touch needs to lead to intercourse. Our wives need to know that there are times when we are holding them because we love them and not because we are looking forward to our own pleasure. 1. Pray for her and ask her how you can help her grow in her individual relationship with God, including areas that don't directly benefit you. |
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| Ye have heard that it was said, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28. but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart Matt. 5:27-28 |
| Victory over the desires of the heart, must be attended with painful exertions. But it must be done. Every thing is bestowed to save us from our sins, not in them. All our senses and powers must be kept from those things which lead to transgression. Those who lead others into temptation to sin, by dress or in other ways, or leave them in it, or expose them to it, make themselves guilty of their sin, and will be accountable for it.If painful operations are submitted to, that our lives may be saved, what ought our minds to shrink from, when the salvation of our souls is concerned? There is tender mercy under all the Divine requirements, and the grace and consolations of the Spirit will enable us to attend to them. |
| IN THIS FLESH-WORSHIPING WORLD, IT IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE THAT WE ARE AWARE OF THE HIGHLY DANGEROUS PRACTICE OF ADULTERY! THE WORLD TODAY WLL TELL US THAT LOOSE LIVING AND FLIRTATIONS ARE COMMONPLACE AND ARE ACCEPTED AS COMMON PRACTICE AND THEREFORE, ARE HARMLESS AND WILL NOT CAUSE ANY DAMAGE TO THE FAMILY UNIT OR THE PARTICIPANTS OF SUCH PRACTICE. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! THE PENALTY FOR COMMITTING ADULTERY WAS DEATH BY STONING. THAT IS HOW GOD FEELS ABOUT THE SERIOUSNESS OF ADULTERY! GOD'S LAWS AND THE REASONS FOR THEM HAVE NOT CHANGED NO MATTER WHAT THE WORLD WILL TELL YOU!!! THE WORDS OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST SHOULD BE ENOUGH EVIDENCE OF THE SEROUSNESS OF ADULTERY. GAURD YOUR THOUGHTS, EYES, AND ACTIONS!! READ THE TESTAMONIES THAT FOLLOW: |
| THE SIN OF ADULTERY |
| MARRIAGE 1 Peter 4:8... And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. John 13:35... By this shall all man know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another. Marriages are destroyed by many lies. It is satan who is out to kill, murder and destroy, especially to destroy marriages all the time. God's word is powerful and we all need to heed to it. The Bible says that we are to guard our spirits. To guard your spirit means that you are to be controlled by His Spirit. In our marriage, we need to be controlled by the Spirit of God. Why do we need to be controlled by the Spirit of God? So that we will not break faith with our mate, so that we will not deal treacherously and harshly with our mate. Hebrews 13: 4... "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" Malachi 2:15,16... "But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says that He hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence. Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." The Lord has the best of interest for our marriage, for He has ordained it from the beginning. God is interested in families and in the marriage relationship that you have right now with your spouse. He wants you to know that He doesn't want you just to survive in your marriage, He wants you to have a blessed and fulfilling marriage relationship. Many Christians don't realize this. There is much struggle in the marriage nowadays. Even in the body of Christ, many Christians have conflicts and there is much competition going on between spouses. There is a lot of outside pressure that they're in today. Many couples are on the brink of separation and divorce and they have strife in their home. That's not God's will for you nor for your marriage. His plans are much better for you. He wants you to have peace in your home. He wants you to have a marriage that is pleasing to God; that is pleasing to one another; that's full of harmony; and that's full of peace. There is victory for all marriage problems you are facing. First you have to recognize who is living in your heart, who is sitting on the throne. You may have accepted Jesus Christ, but is He also your Lord and Master? Have you given Him full control in your life? Are you keeping your "flesh" down in the grave? Then you have to recognize the enemy of your soul and obvious of your marriage. He is Satan and he will do all he can to destroy the marriage and family relationships that you have. You have to be aware of the tricks and the lies that he comes to you with. John 8:44 The devil is a liar and he is the father of all lies. In the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, Satan lied to Adam and Eve. He has lied to couples ever since. And he has no new lies. The devil has just put wrong thinking and lies into people's minds. The same old lies. That's why we have to be aware of the devil. We have to be able to detect his voice and his lies so that we will not be deceived and miss out on God's best for our lives. Satan is telling couples: "There's no hope for your marriage. You're in such a mess. Your marriage is in such a mess. You might as well end it. It's hopeless." He is coming into your thought life and uses the visible things to make you believe his lies. Once you've given him foot, you will start to act upon these lies. By now you're looking at the high waves and you feel you're sinking. You're about to drown for you don't see any hope. It looks like an impossible gap to overcome. In the natural you are correct, for you never will be able to fix this yourself. But with God all things are possible and we have God's word to prove this. Satan is attacking alright, and many Christian marriage partners are listening to him and dabbling with sin. For example; watching sin-laced TV programs, movies or Internet websites, reading questionable magazines, living too much in a wordly atmosphere, wordly friends and what have you. 1 John 2:15,17... Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him...And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof; but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. Many believers are not watchful and have become careless with God's word. Holiness is often hard to find, family altars are disappearing and subtly the things of the Lord are replaced with the things of this world. A believer in Christ cannot live this kind of lifestyle without bearing the consequences. The Scripture states that we have to resist satan and he will flee from us. You have to shun sin. Satan cannot be blamed for the sin and disobedience of God's people. Many marriages hit rock bottom because of the above. They have not walked carefully enough with the Lord and each other, they have been too busy with all kinds of other things. When problems strike, they are devastated and wonder why all this is happening to them. Please, search your heart. Psalm 139:23-24...Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting ! 2 Chronicles 7:14... If My people who are called by My Name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven , and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Another important question arises: Have you totally and completely turned to the Lord Jesus Christ and asked Him for help? Because, He is the God of hope. Marriage was His idea. God created marriage and if He created marriage, He certainly knows how to make it work. So you must turn to the One who created marriage. You also have to search the Word of God. The Bible is the best marriage manual that you will ever read. If you will read it from cover to cover, you will find scriptures that will teach you how to overcome anger, how to overcome strife, how to walk in love, how to walk in forgiveness and how to communicate with your mate. The Bible is the best marriage manual that you will ever read. You may not have found the answers for your problems, you may not have found answers in the world. But if you will turn to Jesus and the Word of God, you will find answers. Your marriage may be far from God's ideal. But it is not impossible for you to have the marriage that God wants you to have. You may have just given up and you are so hopeless. You think that you could never have that God-pleasing marriage. But I want you to know that it is possible for you to have a good marriage. It is not impossible to obtain that which God has called you to obtain. Jesus met this woman at the well. She was a Samaritan woman. Jesus looked at that woman and He said: "You know, you've been married five times and the man you live with isn't even your husband." He didn't condemn her. Did you notice that? And the Bible says that Jesus began to share the truth with her. He provided her with the Living Water. That's what you need-- truth from the word of God. So that you will change and not keep doing those mistakes anymore. You may say, my life is such a mess, God could never love me. That's a lie of the devil. Jesus loves you right where you are at. No matter what a mess you've made of your life. Jesus loves you and He wants you to know the truth, so you can turn around and get your life on the right path. This woman at the well when she got married the first time, she must have been thinking, You know, I'm going to be so happy in this marriage. Just like we all do. I'm going to be so happy in this marriage and I'm going to be so fulfilled with this husband. And then she gets married and it's not what she wanted it to be. Now, she didn't know God, so she went from the one marriage into the other and finally just started living together. I hope and pray that you didn't use her as an example. But this shows you that you cannot find happiness in your marriage outside the Lord. You need to stay under His direction and guidance for your life and your marriage. You may be looking for whatever you wish, but you will not find peace and fulfillment in marriage. Neither will you find fulfillment in a person, in a husband. There is no fulfillment to be found in a relationship with a man, outside the Lord. You need to have a relationship with God first, before you can have a successful relationship with a spouse. It is because of a surrendered will unto the Lord that you will find peace and fulfillment in your marriage. This is the ONLY way. You will never find that peace until you make peace with Jesus Christ, making Him your Lord and Savior. You have to make Him the Lord of your marriage and the Master of your life. Breaking up a marriage because you think it cannot be fixed is demeaning the power of God. Dissolving a marriage is not the answer. It really is a defeat. The thought that you would be better off on your own again, is a lie and will not be backed up by God's word. Don't listen to your own deceitful thinking, but rather surrender your thoughts to the Lord and bring them under subjection at His feet. It is not marriage that brings you contentment and it is not singleness that brings you contentment, but it is the Lord Jesus Christ that brings contentment in your life. You must make Him the Lord of your life. You must bring Him into your marriage. You must have an encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the God of all hope. No marriage will work without Him. If you make Him first, if you put Him first in your marriage, you will see that He will give you wisdom and He will give you peace. Ephesians 2:14. "For He himself is our peace who has made the two one and who has destroyed the barrier and the dividing wall of hostility." If you will turn to Jesus, He will bring peace into your marriage. He will destroy the dividing walls in your marriage. He will destroy those barriers of communication. He will destroy that strife and that anger in your marriage, if you will just bring Him into your marriage. You must realize that He is the missing link. Without Jesus, you cannot make it. If you're in that situation, turn to Jesus and you will see that He will never leave you and He will never forsake you. Be encouraged, don't swallow the lie of the devil. Your marriage is not hopeless. There is hope in Jesus. Let go and let God take over. You may even think that you married the wrong person. I know you've thought that too, haven't you? You think you made a mistake and got out of the will of God! That's what a lot of people begin to believe when they get into conflicts, or because they have problems in their marriage. But listen to this: "Marrying in the will of God or marrying the right person does not insure that you will have a good marriage." A marriage may be made in heaven, but maintenance is needed on this earth. It is hard work; a denial of "self". Don't forget that good marriages have problems too. Good marriages take time and effort to develop and cultivate. You will never find a perfect marriage on this earth. Because there is not a perfect man or woman alive. There are no perfect husbands or wives. You may be just looking for this "perfectness". But I have to disappoint you in this false illusion, for there is not such a thing. You soon find out that you are greatly mistaken and that reality is completely different. Through marriage you come to know yourself. You're being tested and tried, molded and shaped, until you have become a useful tool in His hand. Everything has a purpose in your life, if you will recognize it. Having a good marriage takes time and effort and does not come by itself, it needs to be developed. Don't believe the lie of the devil that you married the wrong person. Just because you're having problems and conflicts doesn't mean you married the wrong person. You need to quit worrying about whether you married the right person and you need to start "being" the right person. It may be possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could end up having married the right person after all. On the other hand, if you marry the right person and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person. It is far more important to BE the right kind of person, than to marry the right kind of person. In short, whether you've married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you. Start being the right person and you will see that God will bring healing into your marriage. God said in Deuteronomy 30:19... "I have set before you life and death, blessings and cursings. Therefore, choose life that both you and your descendants may live." Another pitfall of satan is his whispering, while you're listening: "You don't love your mate anymore. He or she has hurt you so much and you could never love them again." Many may even say: "I never really was in love with my mate. We were just good friends." While some of those couples may have experienced real love for each other.........and they've forgotten all that. Why is that? Because they've hardened their hearts. Their hearts have been hardened by hurts. These hurts and rejection can destroy a person. It can turn a person inward. It can cause them to isolate themselves. Proverbs 15:13... "Heartache crushes the spirit." But I have good news for you, there is hope for people in this situation. Jesus is the Answer!! You need to understand that love is not always a feeling, love is a decision. Love is a commitment. The romantic feelings that you had when you dated and when you first got married, they may not be as strong at all times. Feeling in love is controlled by your emotions. But you see, it is not the feelings that get us through the battles of life, it is the commitment to love. It is that unconditional love. Ephesians 4:2, "Be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love." Did you notice it just doesn't say love one another, it says you have to bear with one another in love. That means you are going to make mistakes. Your husband or your wife, they're going to make mistakes, they're going to stumble, they're going to fail you, but you have to bear with one another in love. Galatians 6:2... "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." "Husbands love your your wives as Christ loves the church." Well how does Christ love the church? Well, He loves us unconditionally. Even when we fail, it will never keep Him from loving us. And that's the kind of unconditional love we have to have toward our husbands and wives. Make the decision to love and be committed to your mate despite your feelings or your lack of feelings. Because feelings are temporary, but love can be forever. To love is God's commandment and has little to do with feelings. Also, in your marriage, you need to clear up each and every offense. Don't sweep anything under the rug. Don't expect your mate to overlook the things that you've done. Don't withdraw and refuse to communicate. You need to talk things out. You need to clear things up. You need to ask each other's forgiveness and you need to get peace between you. Usually, it is not the major things that cause division between couples, it is the little things that build up over the years. It is the many little hurts that are not dealt with and finally a person explodes and then they say, "I don't love you anymore." But in the mean time their love is in there. It's just buried by all those hurts. But, praise God, Jesus can bring healing. Beyond all the problems there is hope for the broken hearted. You don't have to live with a wounded spirit. Psalm 147:3... "God heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." There's healing in Jesus. Jesus bore your sorrows and your grief on the cross and He wants to bring healing to you. But you have to forgive your spouse, no matter what, even if you are in the right. There may be so many things between you. But unless you forgive and release that bitterness and that anger, you will never have the healing God wants you to have. As Jesus has forgiven you, so should you forgive others. At the moment when you are willing to give your all into His holy hands, the healing process begins. Give Him all your unforgiveness, your bitterness, your anger, your disappointment, your hurts and you will find that your love is coming back to the surface. The love you didn't think you had anymore has been renewed by His love. God doesn't want you just to survive in a relationship, he wants you to enjoy it. He wants you to be happy in your marriage relationship. You can love again. You can have peace again. You can have harmony again. Start humbly walking in His footsteps, willing to learn from your Teacher. Using your "textbook" often and allowing this life to be your "classroom". Go for "high" marks ONLY and you will pass every grade with great success. HALLELUJAH. Put Him first in your life, and then put Him first in your marriage. You will see that you can have a strong marriage. You can have a committed marriage. You can have a marriage where you trust one another and have peace with one another. You can be a blessing to each other and you can be a blessing to your children. You can have what God wants you to have. God loves you right where you are. It doesn't matter what's in your past. All that matters is that you turn your life over to Him now. You will experience that you can have that peace and that contentment that you've been looking for. Don't give up on your marriage. Hope is not gone for there is hope with God. Be encouraged, don't stare at what you see, or think. Don't look at your own limitations, your own abilities or disabilities. The Lord desires your surrendered will. He needs your availibility. Give Him ALL your burdens, great and small. Give Him the opportunity to create something beautiful out of your mess, your disappointments, your grief, your troubles. Allow Him to heal you, to restore, to deliver and to raise you up. Allow Him to change your weakness into strength, your failures into success. Become a VICTOR in the power of the Holy Spirit. He called you to be just that. Allow Him to make it true also in your life. His Holy Spirit is available to you for the asking. Only through Him can you become an Overcomer. Genesis 18:14...Is there anything too hard for the Lord ? Proverbs 4:4...Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live. Get grounded in the Word. Become saturated with the scriptures. Know where you spiritually stand. Take your ground. Grow in wisdom and in strength. Walk in His Will. Be obedient to the Scriptures. Forsake any sin or sinful ways. Turn completely to the Lord. Be Full of the Holy Spirit. Be an example no matter what and do all this in the power of the Holy Spirit. With God ALL things are possible. Put God first and you will see that you will have a blessed and beautiful marriage as He planned for you to have. By faith we can see the invisible, believe the incredible, and receive the impossible. God's Word provides direction and encouragement, the Holy Spirit provides power to overcome. |
| MARRIAGE |
| Original author unknown. Modified by Dr. Trudy Veerman, 1999 All rights reserved. http://achristiancounselor.com |