I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
On the other hand, you have five fingers.
Don't shoot or I'll move!
I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum. 'Cause how can you be grumpy when sun shines out your bum?
What was once a thriving city is now a desolate wasteland.(I'm not really sure why that's funny. It just is. If you just say it randomly in the middle of class, maybe)
I'm a squirrel wearing a football helmet, and I don't know where to go!
I'm not really a cowboy, I just found the hat.