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“You came,” he whispers, reaching for her. She shrugs and gives a small smile.

“Not every day you get to say goodbye to the biggest pain in the ass of your life.”

He laughs and she knows she’ll miss it. He presses a hand to her cheek, and after a moment’s debate, leans into his touch, making his smile wider. “Thank you,” he whispers with his forehead to hers, tracing her cheek with his thumb.

She steps closer and fingers the ring around his neck. “I’ll never take if off,” he vows and she believes him.

His hand touches her hip and he moves just a little closer, tentative. He puts his cheek to hers and breathes into her ear. “It isn’t supposed to be this hard,” he murmurs, and she can tell his eyes are squeezed shut and he’s trying not to cry.

“It’s not that hard,” she reminds him.

“You’re not the pain in the ass, remember?”

He pulls back to smile and can taste his own tears. She brushes his face with the back of her hand and he pulls her closer. “You can forget me if you need to.”

He grabs her hand and holds it to his face. “Never,” he vows, but she can’t believe that. “Never.”

She hears his father call: “We have to go soon.”

But he doesn’t hear, staring intently into her eyes, memorizing every detail like he’s never seen her before. “I don’t love you enough to stay,” he whispers, heartbroken.

She smiles. “I don’t love you enough to leave.”

“Liar.” And he kisses her forehead.

“You have to go.” She pulls reluctantly from his arms, always the stronger of the two.

“I’ll visit,” he vows.

“No you won’t.”

She turns and walks away from the pier, blinking back tears she still refuses to cry. His voice is behind her. She turns and he catches her arm. His eyes smolder hers and he pulls her forward, crushing her under his lips. They’re soft and strong, tender but calloused like his fingers. There’s salt from his tears and metallic on his lips from where he’s pressed the ring to his mouth. She tastes like nothing but herself and he vows never to forget that taste.

The eyes watching until now turn away, but whether from ignoring their own heartbreak, like watching a sad movie, or for the sake of their moment they don’t know.

He kisses her with so much everything. So much passion, so much desire. So much hate and so much love. He kisses her for every feeling he’s had toward her since their last kiss thirty years ago. For everything he never said and everything he wished he did. For everything he did say and everything he wished he hadn’t. For all their pain and all their suffering, for those few moments of truth and beauty and light in their dark world.

He kisses her like he’s been kissing her every day of her life, and she can taste in his kiss, slightly bitter, that despite the passion and years he tries to put into it, he is really kissing her goodbye.

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exitus