70 Watt Bulb FanFic based on Ranma ½ By Kris Thompson This is a work of fiction based on Rumiko Takahashi's 'Ranma Nibun no Ichi' a.k.a. Ranma ½ and was created for the author's personal enjoyment. The small square room was completely devoid of anything; furniture, carpet,except for a single white 70 watt light bulb that dangled from the ceiling and cheap white paint that hung on the walls. Akane Tendo stood in the room. "Hey," she called out. "where am I?" Suddenly, a door appeared and Ranma Saotome walked through. "Yo, what are you doing here?" he and Akane asked at the same time. "I asked first." they said in unison "I don’t know. I just got a letter telling me to be here today, see." Akane held out a white sheet of typing paper with some letters typed on it. It said: Dear Miss Tendo, I need to talk a little business with you; privately. Please see me at the address enclosed. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, Miss Jane Doe Ranma glanced at the letter and then back at Akane. "I got a letter like that too," Ranma showed Akane his letter. "Who’s this ‘Jane Doe’ chick anyway?" *I am ‘Jane Doe’.* a voice came into the room, as if there were speakers hidden about. "Really?" Ranma asked. *No, not ‘really’. I mean, come on, I wasn’t just gonna come right on out and say it! Get real! Then you guys would have never shown up! Just like that time I tried to get that Ryouga kid up here. Good grief!, he never showed up! You would think he would have called or somethin’, but no, he just had to totally skip out on a meeting like that. Sheez!* Now Ranma and Akane were looking at each other, both had worried looks on their faces. *Oh! I’m sorry. Caffeine rush. I forgot to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Kris, I would shake hands with you guys, but I’m kinda in the middle on being a disembodied voice at the moment... by the way, how am I doing?* Ranma answered. "Um...you’re doing fine...I-guess..." Akane had been thoughtful for a while and choose now to speak up. "Hey, Kris, aren’t you the FanFic writer that wrote that 'Stolen My Heart' FanFic?" (If you could see Kris at this point in time, you could ‘insert tear drop/sweat drop here’ kinda thing going on.) *Um... 'Stolen My Heart'? I haven’t the faintest of what you’re talkin’ about Akane...* "Yeah you do," Ranma chimed in. "It’s the one where me and Akane go to the prom and kiss even!" Akane turned to look at Ranma. "What are you saying? You don’t want to kiss me?" "Huh?" Ranma glanced at her. "You don’t want to kiss me, but you'll kiss your other fiancées? Is that what you’re saying?" Akane pressed. Ranma (‘insert tear drop/sweat drop here’) started backing away from his fiancée. "It's not like that - I mean, that's not what I'm sayin' it's just-" "Oh," Akane said in a not-so-calm voice. "So you don't care about the kiss?" "It’s not that either, Akane! It’s not that... ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Why are you doing this Kris?!?!?!" *Because it’s interesting.* "Wha-huh?" *I especially loved the kissing scene... awwwwwwww gosh, it was so CUUUUUUUTE!* Kris’s laugher enveloped the room. Akane and tuned out whatever Kris had been saying until she heard ‘the kissing scene’, and had been focusing all her attention on pounding Ranma with her all time famous mallet. She turned her back to Ranma. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" Akane roared. *Uh-oh.* "You bet ‘uh-oh’, cause I’m gonna beat you to a pulp!" Akane ran to the wall in front of her and proceeded to smash it down--reveling a 16 year old girl siting at a desk. The girl had short brown hair, blue eyes, and couldn’t have been more than 5 feet tall. She wore a plain white T-shirt with a pair of blue jean shorts on. A sticker on her shirt plainly stated her name ‘Kris’. On the desk was a computer (recently new), scanner and a printer. The girl held a microphone in her right hand while she typed with her left. "You dirty witch!" Akane yelled at the girl her own age. Kris stuttered and fell out of her chair, dropping the mic in the process. She scooted back away from Akane. Ranma watched on in amazement. "Wa-wa-wa-wait a minute, Akane. My intentions were good, I swear it!" Kris told her, but Akane was having none of it. "Kissing *Ranma*?! I don’t think so." Akane advanced. "I swear Akane, I didn’t mean it, honest! I worked it out! Read it your self!" "Like heck I will!" And Akane swung--hard. Kris jump over the mallet and ran out of the secret room Akane had pounded into and began to be chased around the blank white room with the one 70 watt bulb by a very angry Akane. "Yo, Ranma," Kris called out. "Why don’t you help me here? Hold your fiancée off for a minute or two?" "Not while she’s got that mallet, I’m not." Ranma said wisely. And so, this chase went on for hours before anybody really got anywhere. In the end, Akane had roughed Kris up a bit (gave me two broken toes and fractured rib!) and made her promise that no more ‘funny business’ would go on unless, she was talked to personally, and Ranma (for once) got off scott free. (hehe...like heck he is. I’ll get him in the next FanFic I write. Just you wait and see...hehehe) The End. AUTHOR’S NOTES Okay, okay...it just came to me. No real point to it or any thing just bored out of my pitiful little mind one night, ‘bout 12:06 am on a Saturday mornin’. Yes, I know I’m sad...but, hey, you’re sittin’ here reading this piece of crap. Well, e-mail me if you must. Concerns? Congratulations? Curses? What ever you wish, well, may not be my command. Whatever. I’m the writer and I can write what ever I darn well please...Well, have ‘ta call Akane first. Gotta go make a phone call... bye, Owch!, darn rib... Signin' off Krissy cartoonpapreclips@email.com www.geocities.com/kuroi_hoshi