When the Fiancées Come to Play A fanfiction based on Ranma ½ By Kris Thompson This is a work of fiction based on Rumiko Takahashi's 'Ranma Nibun no Ichi' a.k.a. Ranma ½ and was created for the author's personal enjoyment. ::All we see at this moment is a black screen, can't see your hand in front of you face, blah blah blah... Then, a spotlight brightens the dark area and reveals a white wall with a projection screen that is rolled up. Shampoo walks out onto the stage with a microphone pined to her Chinese outfit.:: Shampoo: Hey! Shampoo ready, Nabiki! ::Nabiki is sitting behind the stage light and the cameras, lounging in a chair with the word 'DIRECTOR' in large print on the back of it.:: Nabiki: Yeah, yeah. Just remember, you break that microphone, you're gonna pay dearly. Shampoo: (mutters) Shampoo already pay dearly to do this. Nabiki: Wanna pay more? Get on with it. Shampoo: You supposed to say 'Action'. Nabiki: Action. Shampoo: Hello. Shampoo here today to tell readers how to write a Ranma Nibun no Ichi fanfic. If Spatula Girl would be so kind... ::Ukyou has come out onto the stage at this point and yanks down the rolled screen.:: Ukyou: I thought I told you not to call me that name! Shampoo: Shampoo now going to ignore Spatula Girl. ::Ukyou walks off the stage.:: Ukyou: Whatever. Shampoo: Now we getting started. ::An image is now projected onto the screen. It reads: :: Ranma logo Title Author Special thanks to Rumiko Takahashi and basic sucking up and many pleas so people won't sue the before mentioned author. Body of Fic End of Fic Author's Notes (Optional) More sucking up and begging so other lawyer people won't sue you and junk. ::Shampoo brings out a bamboo pointer.:: Shampoo: Okay, this (points to the Ranma logo/Title/Author etc.,) is where author write this junk. Pretty easy. Now this (points to the word 'Body') is where the very smart and wise author write about how Shampoo airen fall for Shampoo and leave Mallet Girl and Spatula Girl behind forever... ::At this point, Ukyou has returned to the stage, her huge battle spatula as her own pointer.:: Ukyou: Now listen here, you hussy. This, (slams the spatula through the screen) is where my Ran-chan leaves you and Akane and marries me and we live together forever, happily ever after, end of story, the end, sayonara. So there. Kodachi: (disembodied voice) Hohohohohohohoho... Do you really think I would give up my Ranma Darling so quickly? Not with out a fight! ::Kodachi flies out onto the stage, in her usual gymnastics garb.:: Kodachi: Prepare to kneel before Ranma Darling's blushing bride, you cretins. Ukyou: Oh, give me a break. Shampoo: Really, Crazy Girl no stand chance. Kodachi: Fine, I have given you your chances. Prepare to be defeated! Nabiki: Uh oh. Didn't plan for it to get *this* out of hand. ::Kasumi walks up behind Nabiki's director chair and is watching the three of Ranma other fiancées fighting up on stage.:: Kasumi: Oh my. Sister, what are they doing? Nabiki: Oh, they're just playing. Nothing serious. Kasumi: Oh well, in that case, as long as it isn't serious, would you like some tea? Nabiki: Yeah, sure sis. Thanks. Kasumi: It's not a problem Nabiki dear. ::Kasumi walks off. Then, Akane steps out onto the right side of the stage, which is full of brawling teens.:: Akane: What's all this about? ::All three of the other girls stop fighting and turn on Akane. Kasumi returns with Nabiki's tea.:: Kasumi: Oh my! Shampoo: Is Mallet Girl! She part of this too. Ukyou: Yeah, Akane's always hittin' my poor Ran-chan. Kodachi: My darling Ranma is under the spell of this future servant of mine. I, the Black Rose, must break it! Akane: Uh? ::Ranma appears on the other side of the stage, opposite of Akane.:: Ranma: (to Nabiki) Hey, Nabiki! What's this all about? Nabiki: (filing her nails) I don't know, but I'd look to my right, if I were you. Ranma: Uh? ::Ranma glances to his right to find Akane in perilous danger.:: Ranma: Akane! ::Ranma rushes to save Akane from certain doom, yadda yadda yadda and manages to fend of the other girls with out hurting them.:: Hours later ::Nabiki stands in what is left of the sound stage. Pieces of shredded projection screen lay strewn about, small spatulas are embedded in one wall and large gapping holes dot the ceiling, showing the night sky.:: Nabiki: "Hmmmmmmm... Guess I should never do one of those televised 'How to write a fanfic' shows again for quiet a while. Half of Nermia showed up, either, claiming Akane or wanting to kill Ranma. Oh my my my... I don't know where I'm going to get the money to pay for the damage they managed to cause... Wait a minute. Where's Ranma? And Akane. I'm sure if I got some pictures of Ranma-chan and Akane and sold them to Kuno for a thousand yen a piece; I could have this damage bill paid off in no time. End Author's Notes: Well, I hope you liked the fic. Just something I wrote at about 1:00 am while I have a lovely case of writer's block and I want to write some kind of Ranma ½ epic fanfic... or at least some fic that has more than one chapter. Anyway, if you like the fic, e-mail me. If you hated it, well, I guess you *could* e-mail me and tell me how much you hated it and then I'd have to read it and then I would get all depressed and my school work would get even worse than it is already and then I wouldn't graduate from high school and I would never get to become a voice actress like I've always wanted to be and I'll never get married and die at an early age of 99, all because you sent an e-mail telling that you didn't like my fic. Okay, maybe it won't happen that way, but it could, and that's the important thing. j/k. Send all the e-mail you want. I need some mail to at least let me know that some people are at least stopping by my page. Okay, I'm gonna shut up now, cause obviously, you aren't reading anymore. Sayonara! E-mail Kris Thompson at cartoonpaperclips@email.com