Kris Thompson Writes A Ranma ½ FanFic-BADLY
A FanFic based on Ranma ½
By Kris Thompson
This is a work of fiction based on Rumiko Takahashi's 'Ranma Nibun no Ichi' a.k.a.
Ranma ½ and was created for the author's personal enjoyment.
Scene: (A young girl about 16 walks in a white room. The echo of her feet hitting the
floor resound in the quiet room. The girl is wearing a pair{why do they call them a pair
anyway?} of ripped stone washed jeans and a black T-shirt with the words printed on
the front that reads "Aliens stole my sanity." Her short brown hair is held back in a short
pony tail.)
Girl: Hello? Anybody here? Yo, anybody home?!
Akane: (walks into the room) Hey, who are you?
Girl: Huh? Oh, my name is Kris. (Kris bows to Akane.)
Akane: Oh. How did you get here? I don't think I've seen you here in Nermia before.
Kris: (looks around the room) Is *that* where I am?
Akane: (just nods)
Kris: Alright! Now, I can take CONTROL!!! (Scene of Kris standing on top of the world
is slide into view, with little yellow stars twinkling in the sky.)
Akane: '...'
Akane: What do you mean 'Take control'?
Kris: (seems to have remembered where she is.) Oh, excuse me for not fully
introducing myself. I am Kris, Ranma 1/2 FanFic extrodinaire!
Disembodied Voice of Xanthe [Kris's older sister{by ONE year!!!}]: Extrodinaire?! HA!
You wish, Kris!!!
Kris: (looks up) Shut up PRINCESS!!!
Disembodied Voice of Xanthe: How DARE you use my real name, BERTHA!!!
Kris: GAAAAHHHHHH!!!
Akane: '...'
(Ranma enters the room with Akane, Kris and the Disembodied Voice of Xanthe)
Ranma: What's up with the voice? And who's the chick?
Akane: (glares at Ranma) The 'chick' is Kris and the voice is her sister, Xanthe.
Ranma: Those aren't their REAL names are they?
Akane: No, their REAL names are...
Disembodied Voice of Xanthe and Kris: SHUT UP AKANE!!!
Akane: (Draws back in fear)
Kris: Can I just get on with my story, dear sister of mine?
Disembodied Voice(is anyone else getting tired of this?)of Xanthe: By all means.
Kris: (To Xanthe) Thank you. (To Ranma and Akane) Okay, now what I want, I think
is a WAFF FanFic. Between you two.(points at Ranma and Akane)So first, we'll need
a nice background. If Xanthe will be so kind...
(Background is painted in behind Ranma, Akane, and Kris. Kris looks behind her and
quickly turns back around to face the audience. Now the audience can see the
background is that of a circus scene.)
Kris: '...'
Ranma and Akane: '...'
Kris: Sister DEAR, don't you think there's something WRONG with this background
CHOICE of yours?
Xanthe's Voice(now isn't that better?): Ummmmmmmmm...no?
Kris: (Vein begins to pulse violently in her forehead and says through gritted teeth) that's
not the right answer...
Xanthe's Voice: Ummmmmmmmmm...fix it?
Kris: (Still gritting)Uh-huh.
Xanthe's Voice: Okay.
Kris: Okay. Fix it now.
(New background painted over the last one. This one, how ever, is a picture of outer
space.)
Ranma & Akane: '...'
Kris: Not right...
(Background goes through dozens of changes, until we finally get to a scene of a moon
filled night on a white sand beach. Ranma and Akane look around, disturbed looks on
their faces.)
Kris: (looks up)Nice XANTHE. Nice.
Ranma: Um, can I ask you what we're suppose to be doin' in this scene? I mean, it
looks kinda... uh... romantic.
Kris: (big grin)You are absolutely correct Ranma. (to some of the crew)Okay, people,
turn the lights low and I want quiet, and I mean QUIET!!! (Silence rings in the room.
Kris walks off the set and sits in a black chair labeled 'AUTHOR') Okay, now... Action.
Ranma & Akane: '...'
Kris: Action.
Ranma & Akane: '...'
Kris: (getting fed up)ACTION!!!
Akane: 'Action' what? We don't even have a script!
Kris: (Looking thoughtful) Hmmmm...now THERE'S a thought! Xanthe, make me up
some scripts, please.
Xanthe voice: Here ya' go!
(Huge 5 ton pile of paper fall on Kris)
Kris: ...uuuuggghhhhh...
(Kris climbs from under the papers and grabs the top paper and reads it. It says 'Kiss
him/her.'
Kris: ...-it'll do. Here, read this. (Hands them the paper)
(Ranma & Akane both read the paper)
Ranma & Akane: WHAT?!?!?!
Ranma: No WAY! I'm NOT doin' that!
Akane: He's a PERVERT! I refuse to even-
Kris: Fine, fine, you can stand there in each others arms and declare your undying love
THEN kiss, so long as you do it and MEAN it.
Akane: You can't DO this!
Ranma: That's right.
Kris: (whips out a scroll and it unrolls past her, Ranma and Akane and keeps going.)
Akane: What's that?
Kris: Your contract. See, you signed in red ink. (Shows them the signature.)
Ranma: I don't remember ever signin' a contract.
Xanthe: Hehe(Notices the red ink on her hands and facefaults, well, a facefault for a
disembodied voice.)
(Kris pulls out a pair of glasses and begins to read out loud)
Kris: '-And we, Akane & Ranma, promise to do anything Kris says and do as many
romance/kissing scenes as she, the afore mentioned Kris, sees fit, AND not to mention
Kris or Xanthe's REAL names outside of this fanfic episode for fear of being maimed by
vicious hang gliding ESP kangaroos who have also trained in kendo, kempo and karate
and/or being black mailed by Nabiki,' And so on, yadda yadda yadda, you get the
picture.
Ranma: Let me see that!(Grabs up the paper and begins to read it)I don't believe it.
Okay, we might as well get this over with.
(Ranma & Akane begin to kiss on the screen.)
Kris: (smiles and wipes a small tear from her eye.) I love happy endings.
Xanthe:(sniffs) Me too.
______________________________________________________________________
The End
::Author's Notes::
Okay, the Ranma 1/2 characters above belong to Takahashi-san and who ever else
who wants to claim credit to them. The characters Kris and Xanthe are mine though.
I hope every one enjoyed my fic. I have no futher knowledge if vicious hang gliding ESP
kangaroos who train in Kempo, Karate and Kendo even exist, but I suppose anything is
possible.
By the way, my real name is not Bertha. Just had to make somethin' up for the fic, not
that Bertha is a bad name for a girl, so I'm not tryin' to insult any one.
e-mail me at cartoonpaperclips@email.com
Krissy