Tell It Like It Is 2: The Pay Back A FanFic based on Ranma ½ By Kris Thompson This is a work of fiction based on Rumiko Takahashi's 'Ranma Nibun no Ichi' a.k.a. Ranma ½ and was created for the author's personal enjoyment. ::Black television screen. Then Kenji Sushi appears on the screen. Behind him is what appears to be a talk show set with a big neon sign that reads 'Sushi':: Sushi: Hello to our wonderful television audience out there. Hi, I'm your talk show host, Kenji Sushi. And on today's show, cursed men with more than one fiancée! And now, for our first guest - Ranma Saotome! (Audience claps/cheers/boos as Ranma enters the stage) Ranma: (look of astonishment) You! How'd *you* get a talk show?! Sushi: (ignores Ranma) Now Ranma, how many fiancées *do* you have? Ranma: (mutters) My mave nree. Sushi: Excuse me? I didn't quite hear that. Try speaking without your mouth closed and into the mic. Ranma: (louder this time) I got three! Why? What's it to you? Sushi: Now, could you name off each one, please? Ranma: Uh... There's Ukyou, and Shampoo, and then there's Akane... boy is *she* a tomboy, Akane is. She can't cook, as tough as a gorilla, violent, nothin' feminine about her at all, and she's *so* uncu-*WHAM* UURK! (Akane stands atop of her mallet, which is now embedded in Ranma's head) Akane: What did you say?! Ranma: (from under the mallet) Did I mention violent? Akane: (picks up her mallet) BAKA! Sushi: Akane? Akane Tendo? Is that right? Akane: Well, yes. Wait a minute! Aren't you- ::Sushi jumps in front of Akane and speaks into his microphone:: Sushi: Sorry, but we have to go to a commercial break. We'll be back in a moment with the rest of our show! Don't go away! ::Sushi's set goes off and Washu comes up, smiling of course. She appears to be in a kitchen with a set of knives at her side in one of those oversized knife block things:: Washu: Hello peoples! I'm Washu, the greatest genius in the universe, but today, I'd like to show you my greatest invention! This knife set right here beside me is the wonderful, hydropower Washu knives! *knives sparkle due to special TV animé effects* Washu: Some what like the Gensu knives, but ten times better! "Why?" you ask. I'll tell you why! Because I invented them! WAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! (Two men in white coats come on the scene and take both of Washu's arms and start to cart her off stage.) Washu: Hey! What are you doing?! Guy 1: You're gonna go take a little time off, Washu. Washu: Hey now! That's 'Little Washu' to you bud! Guy2: Sure, whatever you say, 'Little Washu'. Washu: Weeeeeeeeee! ::Commercial ends and Sushi's talk show is back on. Now Akane, Ranma, Ukyou and Shampoo sit on the set:: Sushi: Now, we're back and today's show focus' on cursed men with more than one fiancée. And our cursed male on today's show is Mr. Ranma Saotome. *insert assorted boos* Ranma: HEY! Sushi: And here are Ranma's fiancées, best-friend okonomiyaki chef Ukyou, *camera focuses on Ukyou who waves* Sushi: Chinese Amazon warrior Shampoo, *camera focuses on Shampoo who smiles* Sushi: and martial artist Akane Tendo. *Akane glares at the camera* Sushi: So, girls, who is Ranma's real fiancée? Ukyou: I am Ran-chan's *cute* fiancée, and he loves me. Shampoo: Spatula Girl not know what she talking about. Shampoo airen's wife by Amazon law. No can change that. Ukyou: I bet if you were dead I could. Shampoo: Spatula Girl want make bet? *Shampoo and Ukyou both stand up and begin arguing* Sushi: *turns to Akane* So, Akane, what do you think? Akane: Of what? Sushi: Of Ranma's two other fiancées. Akane: *proudly* They can fight over that hentai all they want. It makes no difference to me. Ranma: *yelling* What?! I'm not a hentai! Akane: *also yelling* Yes you are, you jerk! You have three fiancées! What do you call that?! Ranma: A lot of trouble! Offstage Voice: Yoo hoo! Oh Ranma Darling!!! Ranma & Akane: Eek! Kodachi! Shampoo & Ukyou: Kodachi? ::Kodachi dances out onto the stage area in her leotard and her ribbon:: Kodachi: Oh Ranma! You didn't forget about little old me, did you? Sushi: And who might you be? Kodachi: Why, I am Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose and the *only* fiancée to Ranma Saotome. Shampoo: *whispering to Ukyou* Shampoo thought Spatula Girl lock up Crazy Girl for today. Ukyou: *whispering back* I did! *out loud* Hey, Kodachi! How'd you get out of that closet I stuck you in at Ucchan's? Kodachi: Oh, that? My love for Ranma Darling was so strong that it broke the bonds that you tried to surround me with. Ukyou: In other words, you had Sasuke help you out. Kodachi: Enough of this, you foul wench! Ranma is my true love and he shall not me tortured by any of you femme fatales any longer! I, Kodachi Kuno, the Black Rose, shall smite thee! Sushi: Um, ladies? Shampoo, Ukyou, & Kodachi: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS! :: While the three 'fiancées' fought each other and Sushi tried unsuccessfully to stop their battle, two of the show guests disappeared without notice:: ::Outside the studio:: Ranma: Wow, I didn't think we'd make it outta there! Akane: I know! Ranma: You ready to go home, love? Akane: Sure. Keeping up with all that tomboy act was hard to do in front of all of the guys. Ranma: Yeah I know. Not used to you hittin' me anymore, now that we're married. Akane: When do you think we can tell the others. They need to know. Ranma: Yeah, I know. All in due time. Akane: All right. Let's go. Fin. Author's Note: Just a bit of weirdness. Felt like writing something and I thought a sequel to 'Tell It Like It Is' would be great to have a sequel to. I may start working on a series fic that involves an Amazon warrior who is in love with Mousse (i.e. not Shampoo). Hope you liked it! If you did or didn't, email me at cartoonpaperclips@email.com. Flames will be dealt with in kind. ^_^ Signin' off! Krissy