THE NUDIST

If your strait-laced,virginial,or even are the crudest

I don't really give a stuff ,because I'm a bloody nudist

When I'm getting hot and start to sweat I go into a mood

I throw my clothes in a big heap and run round in the nude

We nudists are a hardy bunch,we do it in the cold

It makes your "WILLY" go quite small (Well thats what I've been told)

Sometimes it gets so frosty you start to get a cough

And then you must be carefull in case your nuts drop off

When at the beach I drop my pants,womens eyes go rounder

Hanging there in all it's pride is me McDonalds quarter pounder

Now just you behave my dear,don't have a little snigger

Because I know this,and it's a fact,they do come even bigger

When GOD made in the begining,man,the moon,and sun

I made a dash up to the front and grabbed the biggest one

But then I,m really boasting,because I've only got my share

A little cocktail sausage and meat balls(By the pair)

At the beach you sometimes see some very funny sights

Some women won't remove their bra and hang on to their tights

Some who have great big tits that hang down to their knee

and some of the blokes whose "Willeys" that you can't even see

One day on the beach I saw it,it really was a pity

A girl stood up,it made me stare,she had one great big titty

The other one was normal,it made her walk lop-sided

And whether I should laugh or cry still have not decided

Now sometimes you get quite a shock,you get a small erection

Standing there right on the beach without any protection

You feel a dag and go all white,you really aint a saint

Then all the blood runs from your head and you begin to faint

All the women congregate,begin to massage your heart

Rub your back and then your toes and thats only the start

You come around,go all red, and start to feel a fool

You feel an even bigger one when they massage your tool

You wake up in bed,open your eyes,your penis is a sinking

You pray to God that it was real but it's only wishfull thinking

But us poor men who are neglected can only pray and think

And wander off down to the beach and try to make it pink

Now if you have decided that this poet is a bum

Well I'm the nicest bloke you've met(and that includes your mum)

My aim in life "Make women happy,try to make them laugh"

And hope that they will scrub my back when I am in the bath

Now if you read this poem and feel you would like to strip

Let me,a nudist expert,give you a little tip

Run in the garden,throw off your clothes,it takes a lot of nerve

Because I'll be sitting on the fence having me a perv