I was born on April 22, 1958. When I was being born, I was in breach position. My mom was afraid that I may die since she had lost her first child to breach birth complication. I was the seventh child born to my mom and dad. But because I had the umbilical cord around my neck, I was born with Cerebral Palsy. But I never knew I was different than my siblings. Although I had seizures from age 3 to age 12. I had to go to the hospital daily as a child to get a shot to control my seizures. It was not fun and we had to go by city bus so it was always tiring. I don't remember having seizures, but I do remember the shots.

I enjoy playing with my sisters and one thing we always played in the summer was school. They would be the teachers and I would be the student. They taught me how to count and the alphabets. I learned to tell time the old way and not by LCD. I live in anticipation of going to school. I wanted to be able to go with my sisters and brothers to school.

When I turned six, I was happy. I would be going to school. They did not have kinder in those days. School was going to be fun and I was going to make many friends. But, I do not remember much about first grade. I remember being the only one in my class who knew the alphabet and who could count to 100 at the beginning of the school year. I remember I did great in reading and writing. But most of all I remember walking to school with my dad, brothers and sisters.

Drastic Change

I passed to second grade and I was so happy because I was going to have Mrs. Perales. She was my sister's 2^nd grade teachers and she was very nice. Now she was going to be my teacher. My 1^st day of school, Mrs. Perales, told me that she was happy to have me in her classroom. She said she knew I would be a good student like my sister. But I only had Mrs. Perales for 2 weeks.

My mom had taken me to my doctor's appointment and during the conversation about me, the doctor brought up the subject of school. My mom told the doctor that I walked to school with all my brothers and sisters and that I was doing well. The doctor brought up a new school that would be better for someone like me to go to. I listened and understood the conversation, but I could not speak. I was a child. Decisions were being made in front of me as though I wasn't in the room. The doctor told my mom a bus would pick me up and drop me off at home each day. I would not have to walk so far.

What are they talking about? Am I not going to have a say in this? I was happy going to the school my sisters and brothers were going to. I had the best teacher this year. Why do I have to change schools, I wanted to know. But in silence, I sat and wanted to yell! I wanted to cry! I did neither. The decision had been made.

When the bus came for me, I did not want to get on it. I pulled back and did not know why I was not going to the school I had been going to, but I was made to get on the bus. As I found a seat, I looked around and saw many people with crutches, wheelchairs, braces and deformities. I began to wonder what was wrong with me. I must be going to this school because of my seizures, I thought. Or maybe I was not as smart as I thought I was. Maybe I had something wrong with me that I did not know about.
I was afraid. A 1st grade girl on the bus wanted me to follow her to her class. But she was a 1^st grader. I was in the 2^nd grade. When we got to school, this girl grab my hand and started to tug at me. She wanted me to follow her. I tried to get her to release my hand, but the janitor saw me pulling back, he told me to go with her. Guess he thought I was in the 1st grade also. So I followed this girl. A girl I later learned was named Maria. The teacher knowing that I did not belong in her class, call the office. They told her to leave me there for the 1^st day since school had already started. But 1 day became 1 year. I was doing 1^st grade again! Why? I told my mom, but she figured the had some reason of putting me back in first grade. So that is how it stayed, since she always believed that Doctors. teachers and others knew what was best for me

Things around me confused me. This school was nothing like my other school. I wanted to know why this was happening to me. I wanted to understand why I was here. I became withdrawn. I did not want to talk to the teachers. I did not want to be at this school. I made one friend, Janie, in 1^st grade and she had no crutches or wheelchair so I thought maybe she was put here by mistake also. We became best friends. Teachers would ask Janie why I did not talk to anyone but her. Poor Janie was bug daily by the teachers. Most of the time she would tell them to ask me cause she did not know why I did not talk to them.

So here I was going to a school for handicapped children. I withdrew into myself for I did not want anyone to know how I spoke. Not that I thought I spoke funny, but people kept telling me I did. My olest sister and oldest brother could never understand me. KIds in the neighborhood would tell each other that I could not speak. So I went to this school that kept me away from enjoying being with my brothers and sisters. Year after year I only had one friend, Janie.

In 6^th grade, I met Pearl. She was petite and fragile. She was in a wheelchair. She was in the 5^th grade. We had combine classes that year. Janie, Pearl and I always stuck together. She became like a little sister to me. We played hand clap games and we always did everything together. I learned to help her on the bathroom when the aids were too busy and were not around when she needed to go. I learn that there was nothing embarrassing about helping someone who needed help. I was more than happy to do anything for Pearl or any others who needed help. But one day after a long break from school, I found out Pearl had died. She had gotten sick over the holiday break. The funeral was on that day we came back to school. Since I did not know, I had not brought a permission note from my parents to attend the funeral. So I did not get to go to her funeral. Janie went and so did most of the others in my class. I was so sad that day. I never told my parents or brothers and sisters about Pearl dying. They did not know who Pearl was. I had two separate lives. I kept my emotions to myself.