God Shall Wipe Away All Tears

I sit alone in silence
and feel deep within my heart
Emotions too confusing
I don't know where to start ~
Sadness so engulfing
it seems too much to bear
In the shadow of my heartache
it feels nobody cares.

I bend my head in sorrow
as tears fall from my eyes
There's no one to hear my troubles
so all I can do is cry ~
What seems like stupid logic
but feels so real to me
Becomes so overwhelming
beyond which I hardly see.

Soon life is so demanding
though I try my very best
But it never seems to be good enough
I really must confess ~
Why do I make that sacrifice
it only brings me pain
When they only seem to chew me up
and spit me out again!

Why is the love and kindness
of my generosity
Taken so for granted
and thrown back at me?
Why is it when I do what's right
no one really cares,
Yet when I stumble in mistake
they all just stop and stare?

Why do people tell me
to keep looking after others
So God's grace will shine upon me,
when they don't even bother?
Am I expected to be strong
when I hurt so desperately,
While they're too busy "giving"
there's no one there for me.

Why do I always get stuck with
things no one understands,
Trials to go through once again
though I don't think I can ~
Realities that I must face
which I cannot ignore,
And I'm supposed to keep being strong
but I just can't anymore.

Am I just sorry for myself
and feeling woe is me,
Crying tears of heartache
that the world's forgotten me?
For you may think I'm selfish
but whose eyes do you look through,
When you point your little finger
with three pointing back at you?

I know God will wipe away my tears
and He'll help me through my pain
For though I feel alone right now
He'll lead me back again ~
And while you live in your own world
I hope that you will see
That through my heartache I still gave
the love He gave to me.

"This poem also reflects a difficult time in my life....some feelings may seem illogical to others, but to me they are very real, and no less important. Having grown up in a life that teaches love, generosity, kindness, peace, giving etc. it is so hard to stand back and watch people practise all this with others yet pay no thought to me when I struggle my hardships. That may seem to some a selfish attitude, but while others are telling me I must look after my loved ones and take care of them, who will look after me? For I can only do so much. I try and try to do my best, but it gets to a point where it seems it's not good enough, and I am stretched this way and that. Pressure falling on me from all around....little things to some, but to me, it is just one thing after another and another and another....and so on. It is there that is seems there is no end. And no one hears my cry. Despite this, I know God will wipe away my tears and help me up again, but right now it feels as though I am alone. Life hurts sometimes, and it isn't a case of "get over it and move on", but rather it is a wake-up call that reminds me I can only do so much. The last two stanzas some may find confronting, some may find that I am pointing the finger at others, but I am merely saying how can they point their fingers at me with three pointing back at themselves? One must clear the log out of his/her eye before directing fault at me. And I remind them that while they may think I am being selfish, whose eyes are they looking through? Jesus has compassion and sees pain through our eyes and our hearts....shouldn't we all then? And although I have endured my heartaches on my own, I still have time to show love, kindness and encouragement to others just as Jesus commanded us to....to give to them the love He gave to me. Even though I sometimes feel it is in vain. We all come to a point where we need to think of ourselves too. For what good are we as bitter, angry, blubbering messes? Even though life sometimes isn't fair, God has a way through the valley that will lead us into a brighter tomorrow. And there He will wipe away the tears."