The soul from which I get my strength
the place where I belong
The red earth of my beloved Tara,
finally I'm going home ~
Left with nothing but a broken heart
and a gold wedding ring
When I finally learnt the gift of love
my marriage came to end.

Ever since I was sixteen
I'd chased Ashley Wilkes
And though he was already betrothed
I fought for his love still ~
And so I married dopey Charles
brother of Melanie
The day after her own wedding
to my beloved Ashley!

But Charles and Ashley went off to war
and we were left alone
Waiting for our men to return
to our hearts and homes ~
It wasn't long before I heard
that Charles had been killed,
A widow in black at just sixteen
I wore against my will.

I was supposed to be in mourning
but I didn't feel sorrow
I only wanted to dance and dance,
not think about tomorrow ~
And then that ghastly man showed up
collecting for the cause,
He knew about my secret love
and the fake mourning I wore.

Despite my better judgement
I accepted a dance with him
All the women watched in horror,
for I was in mourning!
But I didn't care for I only wanted
to dance and dance and dance,
I only wish it was with Ashley
though I doubt I'd ever get the chance.

So life went on and Ashley returned
and I watched with a heavy heart
As he embraced mere Melanie
when he should be in my arms ~
Rhett restrained me as I sulked
reminding me again
"He's her husband, he isn't yours",
and I thought my life would end.

But it didn't, and after the war
Atlanta was rebuilt
And setting my sights upon dear Frank
though I loved Ashley still ~
A successful businessman he'd become
though he was Sue-Ellen's beau
I married him and we settled down
to the post-war overflow.

Purchasing a mill as we
had sought to expand
A successful business venture
as Atlanta was built again ~
But still I pined for Ashley
though dear Frank never knew
He thought my heart had been with him
and that my love was true.

On the road one night I was ambushed
and scared nearly half to death,
When Rhett saved me it was Ashley's
name upon my breath ~
When Frank and Ashley heard the news
they took upon themselves
To fight back with Rhett on hand
ending the night at Belle's!

When they returned in a drunken state
the wives were not impressed
To find not only were they late
but they had to confess ~
They had paid a visit to Belle's door
as a fine alibi
But my concern was for Ashley
not my husband who had died.

A widow again, but still I went
about my daily chores
Now I had a mill to run
as well as Frank's old store ~
And all the time Rhett showered me
with such lovely gifts,
Still waiting for my secret love
to be relinquished.

"One day I want to hear the words
you said to Ashley Wilkes"
But I laughed and said as long as I live
that he never will ~
I had love Ashley for so long
I never thought I could
Be in love with someone else
and knew I never would.

Then Rhett said that it was time
for my mourning to end
As fake as it was I did care for Frank
but only as a friend ~
It didn't worry me one little bit
that I had taken my sister's beau
But now's he's gone and I'm still here
but I'd nowhere left to go.

"Marry me" Rhett said to me one day
it took my by surprise
"I thought you weren't the marrying kind"
with a twinkle in my eye ~
"Don't flirt with me, I'm not one of your beaus
but I'm tired of waiting
For you to stop pining for Ashley Wilkes
so we could then begin!"

I flashed my eyes in horror
but he was not amused
He knew me well and I could not
deceive him of the truth ~
But I was tired of mourning
so I chose to accept
And so I became Mrs Butler,
a choice I did not regret.

We were always two of a kind
and knew each other's game
He was the man with a scarlet past
as I was by repute and name ~
I didn't think it would go very far
and when we had Bonnie
He fell in love with our child
but out of love with me.

A rocky romance it became
when sadly Bonnie died
His pride and joy was gone from us
his guilt he tried to hide ~
One night when drunk he ravished me
but I woke up alone
Probably off to Belle Watling's
oh I should have known!

We argued at every instance
we could not get along
Never seeing beyond ourselves
for we were never wrong ~
A volatile match we always were
what were we thinking of?
We could not live together
for another man I loved!

Ashley came between us
each and every time
And when I said I was pregnant
his jealously was blind ~
He must've loved me in his own way
but I could never see
My only thoughts were for myself
and I thought I loved Ashley.

When I lost the baby in a fall
I thought he didn't care
When I called for him in my sleep
I couldn't see him there ~
And all the while he was pacing
the room outside my door
But he too thought it wasn't him
that I would be calling for.

Then the news reached us
about dear Melanie
Although I'd never liked her
she was so kind to me ~
And actually I grew quite fond
of her in the end,
All that we'd been through together
we had become good friends.

Melanie was pregnant
but she should not have been
Another child would kill her
but it was a part of Ashley ~
And as she lay upon her bed
I rushed to her side
She begged me to look after them
after she had died.

I cried many tears as she spoke
she knew this was the end
But I didn't want to lose her
now that we were friends ~
At last I realised as I looked at her
something that she said
And as she breathed her dying breath
I knew what she had meant.

With a comforting word to Ashley
I turned to look around
Where was Rhett, I could not see,
he was nowhere to be found ~
As I ran home in the evening mist
I searched frantically,
For all this time the man I loved
had been right in front of me!

"Rhett!" I called "where are you?"
as I opened up the door
Running up the stairs I found
I could no longer ignore ~
Telling him about Melanie
and of her dying wish
An ironic smile played upon
the sadness of his lips.

"Convenient to have the wife's blessing
to care for your Ashley,"
"It isn't Ashley that I love
but I could never see ~
Rhett, oh what a fool I've been;
wait! what are you doing?"
"I'm leaving you, my dear Scarlett
now that Ashley Wilkes is free."

"But Rhett, wait, you can't go
please don't leave me!
I don't love Ashley anymore
please Rhett, can't you see?"
"I only see what might have been
but that was long ago
It's too late now for anything
so it's time for me to go."

"But Rhett now I see in my heart
I know that I love you"
"That, my dear," he said to me
"is sadly your misfortune" ~
With tears running down my face
I could not understand
"Rhett, if you go what will do?"
"My dear, I don't give a damn!"

And with that he turned and walked away
he was gone with the wind
I didn't know what I would do
or where I would begin ~
As Melanie's life had ended
so mine did today
For with him Rhett took my heart
when he left me that day.

As I cried my broken heart
the man I loved was gone
I heard voices speak from the past
of the place where I belonged ~
Then through the tears I saw Tara,
I would go home again
And think of a way to get him back
after all tomorrow's another day!

© Christina
19th March, 2004