After
that rude confrontation with
Maleficent, Riku had decided to return to his personal lair to avoid being stalked
by anyone else that night. But one thing was for sure, his mood refused to get
any better. He didn’t see what the purpose of his mission was, and he
definitely didn’t know why he had agreed to it at the beginning...
Maybe
because it was the threat they gave him... Or maybe it was something else...
---
“Remember Riku, you are a part of our
clan now. And to prove that your trustworthy you must annihilate the one thing
you treasure the most during your mortal life.”
Riku refused to make any eye contact with
his leader. He turns around slightly and mumbles under his breath, “I don’t
HAVE anything that I treasure and I don’t see why I have to do anything that
you ask me to.”
Ansem was quite amused. He had many other
servants in his clan, just like Riku, who were new vampires, but none of them
would dare to speak to him in that kind of attitude. He would usually eliminate
the disobedient ones, but somehow, he was fascinated by Riku’s reluctance.
“How dare you talk to Master Ansem in
that tone of voice, you foolish boy! He saved you and this is how you repay him?
You were lucky that he didn’t leave you out on the streets to die!”
Maleficent advanced forward and strikes him right across the face. “From now
on, you talk only when you are asked and if you continue being DIFFICULT, then I
will not be responsible for what I might do to you!”
“That’s enough Maleficent.” Ansem
said in a calmer tone. He watched the dark mistress bow in politeness, before he
got up from his chair, and made his way over to Riku.
“I’m fascinated by you attitude,
young Riku.” Ansem reached his hand forward and traced his fingers along
Riku’s chin. He flinched from his touch and moved his face slightly sideways.
“But do not forget, you do owe our clan since we did save you that night. So
in return, all we are asking you to do is to prove your loyalty to us... Is that
so hard to ask?”
“I told you before.” Riku hissed and
glared into Ansem’s eyes. “There was nothing I treasured more then my own
life when I was a mortal.” He got up and turned around. “And if you don’t
mind, I’m sick of this pointless conversation, so I’m leaving.”
“Don’t you DARE leave when I
haven’t finished talking to you!” Ansem quickly approached behind Riku and
pinned him against the wall. “I know you treasured something so you don’t
have to lie any more.” He ripped out a photo from his pocket and looked at
Riku with a cocky smirk. It was the photo Riku had taken with Sora a few days
before all this vampire stuff had happened. “This boy, he was your best friend
wasn’t he? But you wanted something more, something that you were afraid he
wouldn’t be able to give to you.”
Riku fought helplessly underneath his
powerful grip. “Let me go.” He demanded. “He was just a friend and nothing
more. I couldn’t give a shit about him any more.”
“Oh really? Then why do you seemed so
troubled and confused all of the sudden?” Ansem knew he was close to a
breakthrough. “You loved this boy didn’t you, but you were too much of a
coward to ever tell him.”
“I said fuck off.”
“You were afraid that he wouldn’t
accept you feelings, and then leave you, isn’t that right, Riku?”
Riku struggled harder and tried his best
not to give in. “I said let me go or I’ll...”
“Don’t fight it Riku. Once you become
a vampire, your mortal feelings no longer exist. You might have all those
memories of how you felt, but you won’t truly feel those feelings ever
again...” He freed Riku from his grip. “As you see, we, the undead don’t
need such foolish feelings... All we crave for is life, lust and torture among
humans.” He watched Riku getting back up on his feet while holding on to his
wounded shoulder. “I believe I’ve made myself clear. And if you refuse to
take this mission, you will be killed. And just to make sure you do complete the
mission successfully, Maleficent will be monitoring your every movement.”
He smirked as he saw Riku pathetically
struggled to stay standing up. “Not talking back any more?” Riku stayed in
silence and just continued to look away. “I thought so... Now get the hell out
of my sight.”
---
There
were days when Riku had wished that he hadn’t stayed out late that night. If
he hadn’t decided to be rebellious and stay down at the beach just to break his parent’s
curfew, he wouldn’t have been attacked by that vampire. And now, his life was
worse then hell, not to mention he is
killing innocent people just for his own survival.
Sometimes,
the simple thought of himself-and what he has become-makes him feel sick in the
stomach.
Imperfection
But
most of all, Riku hated the fact that his every movement was being controlled,
watched, monitored... There wasn’t one
time that he could go out into the streets by himself... Every single
time, there was always somebody watching him-breathing down his neck... He had
no freedom whatsoever and it was all
Ansem’s fault.
Or
was it his, for talking back and being a smart-ass in front of the cruel leader
of his vampire clan? He didn’t know any more... Perhaps the answer was simple.
Ansem is-in plain English-a sadistic bastard who takes pleasure in seeing him suffer until his
last dying breath...
‘But I didn’t I make myself clear
when I said I WOULD get the job done? Yet that bastard STILL had to send
Maleficent to watch over me!’ Riku
smashed his fist into the wall in an attempt to release his anger. ‘Why
the fuck can’t they just leave me alone and let me do my job in my own way?’
He
pulled his fist back and slightly ran his tongue against the cuts on his
knuckles. He brushed his obscenely long fang against the wound, as the crimson liquid slowly
oozed out from the cut. His blood tasted saltier and bitterer then from what he
could remember, and the pain slowly travelled throughout his body like an echo.
Sometimes, pain was the only thing that could help him relief himself...
“Hey
Riku, are you there? Is it okay if I come in?”
Riku
immediately snapped out of his trance as a male voice appeared behind the thick
wooden door of his lair.
He
quickly covered his undamaged hand over his wounded one, and told the person to
come in. He didn’t want to risk showing his friend that he had tried to hurt
himself once again.
A
tall male, around the age of 24, walked quickly into the room before locking the
wooden door behind him. His blonde hair was slightly spiky yet bushy, and his
face was straight and expressionless. He wore a raven, skin-clinging,
short sleeved turtleneck that traced all his well-muscled features. His
extensive legs were covered by a pair of enticing
leather pants, which were split open at the bottom by a lengthy silver zipper.
Hanging on the front of his chest was a thick-chained necklace with a large
sterling Gothic cross as a pendant. He also had a single piercing on his left
ear that had a small silver hooped earring through it.
“Hey
Cloud, what are you doing here at this time of the night?”
Of
course Cloud was hot—Riku
have been caught off-guard way too
many times for staring mindlessly at his gorgeous blonde friend. He didn’t
know why he was so addicted to him,
perhaps its because Cloud was mysterious, and the fact that everyone was dying
to know more about him.
‘But who wouldn’t drool when Cloud was present—I mean—check out that
allusive body and that arse...’
Riku’s mind begins to slowly trail off, but his eyes still continued to travel
up and down his body, admiring the amount of flesh his new outfit was showing.
He briefly closed his eyes and opened them again before he managed to snap back
to reality. ‘He’s hot, but he’s
nothing more then a friend... Besides, my feelings for Sora are still-’
But
somehow, Cloud’s expression seemed slightly... worried?
Even Riku could see behind the cold glare and realise that Cloud did
have something on his mind.
Cloud
began to frown. There was no mistake. He could smell the strong lingering aroma of Riku’s
blood around the small confined room.
“Have
you been hurting yourself again, Riku.” Cloud had questioned, but it sounded
more like he was demanding to know what had happened and what Riku had done. For
some reason, Cloud’s tone was always so dark and mysterious, unabling for
people to see what he had on his mind. He looked over at the silver-haired boy,
who had his head bowed down. The scent of the blood seemed to be weaken by
something-almost like it was being covered and hidden... Cloud looked down and
realised that Riku was hiding one of his hands underneath the other.
“Let
me see you hand.”
No
matter how hard Riku tried to refuse, Cloud swiftly grabbed his wrist in one
quick movement and studied the damaged he had done to his knuckles earlier. His
expression lightens up slightly, as he softly brushed his opened cold lips
against the wound. Riku almost let out a small throaty moan as Cloud’s fang
gently scraped against his wounded knuckles momentarily.
Cloud
knew that this wasn’t Riku’s first attempt to hurt himself... Last time, he
found many cut marks on his arms and wrist, so he was thankful that only his
knuckles were hurt this time.
“Riku,
I’ve noticed that you’ve been really depressed lately. Well, more then usual
anyways... Is there something you want to talk to me about?”
“No,
I just had a bad night that’s all...” Riku replied dryly, trying to hide his
real emotions.
Cloud
moves forward and sits next to him on his bed. “Is the mission isn’t it,
Riku?”
‘Cloud... He always understand me so
well and he always seems knows what is on my mind... Or what is bothering
me...’
“No
it’s not the mission... Its Maleficent and how she’s always
fucking following me arou-”
Cloud
sighs and slides his hand to Riku’s chin and tilts it up slightly so he was
looking right into his eyes.
“You
don’t have to lie to me, Riku. I know when you’re angry or frustrated about
something because we’ve been friends for so long.” He glances right into
Riku’s soft turquoise eyes. “Don’t worry, you know you can trust me. And
the door’s lock so Maleficent or whoever won’t be able to come in. Now tell
me, what is going on?”
“N...Nothing...”
Riku used his hand to pushed away Cloud’s hand before looking away again.
“Really, I’m fin-”
“It’s
that boy, isn’t it.”
...
Silence.
Finally,
Riku sighs in defeat and nods his head to show that he concedes to Cloud’s
observation.
“I
told you that I knew you too well, Riku.” He chuckled and slightly pulled his
friend closer against him. “Maybe you are just thinking about it too much.
Perhaps if you think about something other
then the mission, you won’t be as angry and depressed as you are now.”
“I
try, believe me I do.” Riku leans closer against his friend, pressing his head
against his chest. He slowly breathes in, permitting Cloud’s musky scent to
fill his nostrils. “Its just that...” He lifts his head up and looks at
Cloud sadly before hiding his face against his chest again. “I... I don’t
know whether I can do this or not.”
“Don’t
worry, I completely understand what you’re going through.” Cloud whispers
softly before running his hand through Riku’s soft silver hair. Riku purrs a
little at the contact. “It hurts, doesn’t it...? To lie to the ones you
love... To torture and play with their feelings...” He sighs remembering all
the pain he had caused, his old wounds opening up painfully once again.
“Cloud
you always seem so passionate about everything... About your past, your friends
and family...” Riku pulls away from his arms and sits back on his bed again.
“It almost seems like you still have-”
“Feelings?”
Cloud finished off before chuckling lightly in amusement. “Yeah, I guess... I
mean, everybody has to have feelings, even us, the undead.”
“But
I thought Ansem and Maleficent said that-”
Cloud
silenced him with a single finger pressed against Riku’s soft cold lips.
“Don’t let them get to you, Riku. Their minds are so clouded by power and
authority, that they have decided to forget the things that are really
important... The things that truly matter.”
“Cloud...”
“Well,
you remember why I still have feelings. I have feelings to remind myself of the
past, I don’t try to deny or forget them.” Cloud looks away as he tone
lowers a little. “I’ve done things that are unforgivable, but I try to learn
from them instead of running away.” He offered a weak smile to Riku before he
strokes his hair again. “And I guess we can’t get a mate like the rest of
the vampires, because there’s always something stopping us from doing so,
right?”
Riku
nodded, remembering the pain and suffering Cloud had once told him that he had
went through. He sits back up straight as his friend stands up and walks towards
the door.
“Well
you had a pretty long day, so I’m guessing you would want some rest now.” He
unlocks the door and walks outside. “Just remember Riku, don’t let
Maleficent mislead you. Everybody has feelings, even us, the undead.” He looks
at Riku and winks slightly. “Oh one more thing... The next time you see Sora,
tell him that his tall brown-haired friend is really cute.” He chuckled before
exiting the room.
Riku
stared blankly at Cloud’s last remark. His friend who was normally serious and
depressing was actually joking around!
“Hey
wait a minute! How the heck did you know about Leon-”
But
before he could finish his sentence, Cloud had already left and closed the door
silently.
Riku
walked towards his balcony and leans on the veranda. It was almost 3am, the
night sky was clear and there were no clouds for miles. Many stars filled up the
dark sky and the moonlight shadow lit the sleeping world below.
Riku
loved the night, he loved the cold air against his face, and how the city was so
tranquil and peaceful... But the breeze was causing a problem, as it
continuously entangled itself into the silver threads of his hair, forcing him
to tie it back in a neat ponytail. He managed to leave a few strands at the
front, letting the soft bangs to hang on either side of his face.
He
looked down onto his wounded knuckle, which had healed already thanks to his
quick vampire healing abilities.
But
the quietness only got him thinking about what Cloud had said.
‘That’s
right, Cloud had mentioned to me about how he had to take a similar mission to
me when he first joined this clan. They made him kill his mortal partner and it
still haunts him although it happened nearly 150 years ago. That’s why he
understands the pain that I’m going through at the moment, and why I feel so
troubled...’ He looks down at the sleeping city below and wonders what
Sora was doing at this moment in time.
‘Probably
sleeping.’ He chuckled slightly. ‘But
what Ansem had said was slightly right. Although I know that Sora used to
like me, he won’t like me now if he knew what a monster I’ve become.’ He
sighs painfully. ‘But perhaps what Cloud
had said was right... Although it is said that vampires are suppose to be
detached to their human feelings, I still feel an uneasiness, even if I’m only
thinking about the mission.’
‘I can’t describe what I’m feeling
at the moment... I just feel depressed and alone... Being an immortal might
sound like fun, but not when you finally realise that you have to spend all of
eternity by yourself. Alone...1’
He sits on the veranda and looks at
the few sparkling lights that were still on in the centre of the city. ‘And most importantly, I’m confuse about my feelings towards Sora at
this point in time... Although after all this years I have been separated from
him, I still care about him, even if it’s just a little...’
But
then he will always remember what Cloud had said...
“Don’t let Maleficent or anybody else
mislead you, Riku. Everybody has feelings, even us, the undead.”
Everyone...
As
Cloud’s sentence slowly disappeared into his mind, he walked back into his
lair for a good night of sleep.
Because
he knew, he had a mission to complete within the next couple of weeks.
Even
if he didn’t want to continue, he didn’t really have a choice.
Or did he?
No
matter what he feels for Sora at this point in time, it didn’t really matter.
Unless
he has a way to get out of this mission, he must continue it, or he’ll risk
being killed by Ansem...
He
knew it was selfish, but he had to do this to save himself.
‘But do I really have to do this just
to save myself?’
He
lied inside his coffin, unable to sleep, with only the words of Cloud’s
message in his head.
“Everyone has feelings, Riku. Sooner or
late, if you keep your mind calm, then you’ll truly understand your own
feelings...”
To be continued...
End Note:
[1] This was a
quote taken from Anne Rice’s famous
series, ‘The Vampire Chronicles’. It was taken from the 3rd book, ‘The
Queen of the Damned’. This quote was also included in the movie, which was
based on the novel, also known as ‘Queen
of the Damned’. I still haven’t had a chance to read a lot of Anne
Rice’s books, but I really respect her as an author. So this is just to give
her credit and to say that I do not own
that quote, or any others I may use in the future of this story.
[2] Holy shit
I made an error... Ok I do realise that vampires are suppose to sleep in coffins, but I still stupidly placed a bed in
Riku’s room. ::grumbles:: Oh well... we can make that there’s a bed AND
an coffin in Riku’s lair from now on. Sorry for being so careless...