Too Alive For Me

Raven '03

{ Tässä runossa Buffy on yhä yhdessä Rileyn kanssa ja selittää Angelille ja Spikelle, miksi haluaa olla suhteessa miehen kanssa, jota ei rakasta. Vai haluaako sittenkään...? }

I always thought that love would be
Just pain and great desire
Too bound to my first misery
Too drawn to my last fire

I think I never thought of him
As my undying lover
It’s you I loved, you’ll never die
With him I run for cover

But he’s the one who makes me feel
That I’m like all the others
With you I always had to be
The girl with vampire lovers

He doesn’t see my soul the way
You saw when I was with you
But he’s the one who I can see
You both were never see-through

With you I could kill demons
With him I just kill time
But with you I can’t see the light
With him the sun will shine

With my first love I gave my heart
I thought he’d stay forever
But just one problem from the start
Make love we could not ever

With my evil cure for sorrow
I felt the fire burn
But there was never love involved
His love I did not earn

With Riley I could live by day
With Riley I could smile
But my true heart was never his
Not even a little while

It’s you I’ve always wanted
It’s you I’ll always need
But you’re the ones I cannot have
The ones I cannot keep

Now tell me who’s the one to stay
Cause God I’m tired of choosing
If everyone will walk away
It is me who will end up losing

Angel, you were my first love
A love, one of a kind
Your curse was that you wouldn’t leave
Your blood-red past behind

Spike, I know you love me
But that love I can’t return
It’s you who brought the flames of fire
But I don’t want to burn

Oh Riley how I wanted
To be the one for him
But he never made me miserable
And his love was not a sin

So what am I? Just doomed in love?
In life, in heat, in gladness
Why is it that the ones I want
Will bring me only sadness

I yearn for those who yearn for blood
The ones who make me cry
The ones with whom I cannot live
The ones who’ll never die

Dear Riley, I am sad to say
This thing we have can’t be
Cause in the end, I think you were
Just too alive for me…