Life in Plastic, It's Fantastic!

Why is plastic surgery, like, ohmygod, suddenly so acceptable?

I have become convinced that it is every plastic surgeon's dream to make liposuction as commonplace as orthodontia.

While braces are by far the most culturally accepted way of changing what the good lord gave you, cosemetic surgery and it's practicioners have long labored under a disparaging stigma.

But all that is changing.

Gone are the omnipresent nose job sight gags from "Clueless." History are the days when a Beverly Hills resident connoted facelift. Say goodbye to the times when a girl with fake boobs was a joke. Even the media has tired from asking celebrities if they've gone under the knife. Now it's just assumed.

Media personalities are much more open with declaring their plastic parts nowadays. Recently, Greta Van Sustren unveiled her new face on the cover of People. Courtney Love didn't care if people knew about her nose job. Perhaps stars openly admit cosmetic augmentations because years of Michael Jackson and Cher denials of obvious surgeon handiwork have created a discredulous public.

Now every owner of a flabby upper arm and pencil-me-in lips is looking for a plastic surgeon. A breezy purusal through an issue of my local Sacramento Magazine will faithfully direct those misshapen souls to the ubiquitous plastic surgeon ad. It not only astounds me that there are so many clinics but that they are all grappling for the same booming market. And they must not be doing too bad either, because they can afford billboard advertisements exclaiming in unabashed yellow letters "1-800-FOR-LIPO."

The cable network TLC has probably the grandest advertisement for plastic surgery with "A Personal Story." The show, part of the Personal TLC daytime programming, chronicles an individual's experience with plastic surgery. The producers seem to take great care in selecting individuals who are not merely vain but have legitimate reasons to alter themselves. For instance, the woman who needed a tummy tuck because multiple child births have ripped her abdominal muscles apart, forcing her to live with a huge pooch. However, their reasons deceptively dupe even the most stalwart anti-cosmetic surgery opponent into thinking these surgeries are quasi-spiritual makeovers.

The beginning of the program sees words like "self-esteem", "confidence" and "admiration" float across the screen. Presumably, these traits are attained by the men and women who undergo the procedures.

Isn't this a dangerous way of thinking? Granted, sometimes plastic surgery is purely medical (like for the woman who needs a breast reduction to alleviate chronic back pain). But when words like "confidence" are used in association with cosmetic surgery, it appears that surgery is the panacea for every insecurity we have. The show presumes that our humanity is rooted in our appearance.

But much to every ugly girl's jubilee, even perfect girls get the blues. As I saw in an MTV documentary called "True Life: I'm having plastic surgery," the patients lack confidence post-surgery too.

Never have I heard a more stupid reason to have plastic surgery than the ones two best friends offered up on this MTV show. One is a blonde "sugar" and the other is a brunette "spice." They want to go under the knife so they can get into better LA parties and one day, the Playboy mansion. They're already set up with the cantalope-sized breasts and now they want a new nose, some plumper lips, and some lipo.

But even after the bandages are peeled away and the bruises subside, the girls' reasons for getting plastic surgery are not realized. They pose in some baudy shots hoping to hop into the pages of Playboy but choose not to send the pictures in because they didn't like the way they looked in them.

Ahem?

Wasn't this why you underwent numerous body markings with Sharpie markers, not to mention the pain and bruising? To have the body of a perfect Playboy girl? Talk about a waste of money and silicone.

So plastic surgery didn't give these girls enough confidence to go for Playboy. But maybe that's because confidence comes from somewhere besides your looks. And too often our culture equates beauty with confidence.

From the time a girl gets her first Mademoiselle mobile in her crib to her first CosmoGirl!, she is bombarded with images her impressionable mind comes to know as "pretty" and "normal." Being reared on these images, that not only support unrealistic ideals but the consumer industries as well, preps a girl for plastic surgery so well that she's ready to jump onto an OR table the instant her body looses it's youthful buoyancy. Opposite airbrushed pictures of busty models, a girl can see ads for Bloussant, a way to get the cleavage of the model. These ads and the prevalence of plastic surgery are hazardous especially in a culture that does not teach girls to be proud of other assets besides their ass.

There are notable exceptions, but women in the media by and large are not great role models. They are wimpy pop starlets whose careers would deflate if their boobs weren't holding them up. The models and celebrities hocking make-up, clothes, and acceptance to girls do little or nothing to make girls feel good about who they are. They seem to taunt us from the glossy fashion spreads, saying, "If only you had my abs, you could be frolicking with these gay male models on the shores of Tahiti, but you don't!"

In a society where a girl's lipstick choice has more importance than her college choice and where magazines have 798 beauty tips but no tips on how to live life fully, cosmetic surgery can become as addicitive as a shoe fettish.

Call me a liar, but there is not one part on my body that I would change. My receeding chin, teardrop nose, and freckles make me who I am. I'm proud of my unusual look and bevies of Hollywood bombshells like Uma Thurman and Christina Ricci will tell you the same thing: Better to be unique and stand out than another plastic surgeon's cookie cutter face.

In sum, I think people turn to plastic surgery thinking that their deeper problems with security and esteem can be solved and life will be easier if they only looked a little better. And I don't blame them for thinking that way because our society places such an emphasis on appearence that personal success rides on having good looks.

So next time you think a nip and tuck will make your life more like Jennifer Aniston's or a couple cup sizes more will bring you more confidence, remember that gravity always wins.

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