POSSE BEARD GROWING BLOG 2005

27/11/2005 The competitors for the First Annual Posse Beard Growing Tournament signed up at the well, fresh-faced and ready for the gruelling competition ahead of them. Who would win? Who would crack and shave first?

01/12/05 One week into the First Annual Posse Beard Growing Tournament, and the competition proved too much for Locky. On Wednesday night he was winning by a whisker:

To everyone's shock, just when it looked for  the first time like we had a favourite to win, Locky arrived at the party on Thursday night to re-launch the Official Posse Website, clean-shaven once more. The vanquished contestant citing 'itchiness' as his reason for quitting. A distinctly non-olympian effort clearly demonstrating he lacks the Will the of the Warrior.

With barely three weeks before the final on Christmas Eve, this was the state of play: a patchy effort from Grant and a slightly ginger looking beard from Doug, looking more like his brother the D-Man with every passing day.

03/12/2005 With 3 weeks of intense beard growing action still to go, Doug followed Locky's example and shaved his beard off. According to Locky, this is a showboating tactic to show his disdain for Grant's beard by still having a better beard on Christmas Eve. "I can win after giving Grant a two week start... at least I think I can." Locky. It's a bold strategy, watch this space to see how it pans out for them. 24/12/2005 Polling the night before the big finale had Grant trailing in the opinion polls, with Doug and Locky tied for who the public though would win first place. On Christmas Eve morning tensions in Wetherspoons were running higher than Stricly Come Dancing and X-factor put together, as the crowds gathered to see the unveiling of the finished 2005 beards. Confounding pundits and the public alike, Grant romped home to victory.

Grant: Living embodiment of the eye of the fucking tiger.

In the biggest shock of the morning, second place was stolen from both Locky and Doug by stalking horse Twig, who came from nowhere with two weeks stubble. In his acceptance speech Grant, 30, was scornful of the efforts of his competitors, describing them as having "Too much vanity, not enough ego." He also announced he does not intend to defend the title in 2006. Doug failed to even turn up for the final, not only having let himself down, but his whole family. He is said to have been branded a 'muggle' by the other Sheckleys, one of Workington's most prolific beard-growing dynasties.

Shock: Second place.

Locky: Shameful, shameful bronze.