DEFCON: POSSE

Deceipt. Factions. Totalitarianism. Foxxi Boxxi. Chaos.

The Posse were verging on the brink of all-out war this weekend, following a breakdown in communications over the access codes to the Posse mainframe, aka the passwords to the Posse web site.

The situation brought about hitherto unseen personalities within the Posse, such as the threat-posing swearword-using Mark M, the easily-folding Locky, and the eyebrow-obsessed MoFo.

WHAT ONCE UNITED THEM FROM AFAR MADE THEM PALE WITH FEAR

Sources close to the Posse claimed that the problem arose when the original codes were altered sveral times by conflicting members in order to prevent a security breach. A further foray into the cesspool of lies and misdirection led to the unforseen situation of just one Posse member holding all the codes.

"There was only one thing left to try...."

A nameless Posse member described how the situation came about.

"All of us having the password didn't work, some of us having the password didn't work, so there was only one thing left to try - none of us having it" he said. He went on to confess: "I changed the code to something long and complicated, although as hard as I tried, I just couldn't forget it. So it ended up with just me knowing".

"I then thought perhaps it'd be best that only one person be responsible for mainframe maintenence and moderation, especially after the recent displeasure felt over some of the newer material."

"But later I realised that democracy and a fair-share for all beats despotism, so I redistributed the codes". However, a spokeswoman later revealed off-the-record that his decision to change was probably more to do with him getting fed up waiting for Pagebuilder to load.

"It's not just coincidence that there were TWO world wars"

But who knows what may happen in the future. How long will it take for some disatisfied member to change the codes once more and blame it on hackers? How long until the Posse are once more yelling at each other in Yankees, debating the moral righteousness of dissing and bigging-up?

"History has a habit of repeating itself" said Michael Barrymore, somehow managing to put himself at the centre of it all. "It's not just coincidence that there were TWO world wars you know" he commented, moments before drowning in Elton John's swimming pool.