("Prayer" opening.)
Tara: Welcome to the Dayton Gym Club, everyone! This is FPPVW Foundation! I'm Tara Fisher.
Dick: And I'm Dick Broccoli. We're coming off a hot show this past Valentine?s Day, and we're fixing to have another one right here tonight!
Tara: Yes, last Saturday was Pain and Glory from Sinclair Community College. It was quite a night, topped off by the crowning of a NEW FPPVW Champion!
("My Way" hits and Nykk makes his way to the ring. An old couch, and an even older, broken chair is sitting in the ring with a coffee table between them. The worker who's been sighted sleeping in various places backstage is asleep on the ring apron.)
Tara: And thankfully, our new champion is not Nykk. That distinction belongs to the only multi-time FPPVW Champion, Alan Mayse, who won the Four Way Dance last Saturday.
Dick: Tara, how can you talk about Alan Mayse at a time like this? We're getting ready for the Nykk Show!
Tara: We? When did you join the Heel Stable?
(Nykk takes the mic from a man who is fast asleep on the ring apron.)
Tara: Crap.
Nykk: Well, we are certainly on a roll as of late, aren't we? The fact that I don't have the FPPVW Title must make you people happy, huh? Now, I could come out here and toss the blame around... so that's exactly what I'm going to do. I blame two people for the current situation. I don?t blame Super Crazy or Alan Mayse. Super Crazy actually wised up after last Saturday, and ran for the border as soon as he was pinned.
Tara: True enough, Super Crazy has left FPPVW. Check our official website for details.
Nykk: I'll get to Alan in a minute. But the first person I blame is Ronin Fox, the cause of many of my problems. But first and foremost, I blame Jon Z. He was the one who hired people like Super Crazy, who never represented this company well, and J.R. Ryder, who also left us high and dry this week. I don't blame Alan because he's been here fighting like a true champion since the beginning... though this doesn't mean that I respect him. Jon, you have made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision for months now. Super Crazy, J.R. Ryder are but two examples, and your bad decisions bring me to my guests this week. You see, it only took Jon about eight months to decide that titles for a tag team division just might be a good idea. Unfortunately for you, Jon, the longer you wait, the more the fans' interest in the tag division wanes. Well, as a company man, I cannot have that! So I did something fiendishly clever, if I do say so myself. I solved the tag situation. So at this time, I would like to introduce the first ever FPPVW Tag Team Champions... Jay Crowe and Dusty Schneble, the Pyro Twins!
("Fuel" hits and the Pyro Twins make their way to the ring, carrying brand new tag title belts.)
Tara: What the hell is going on here!?
Dick: It's our tag team champions, Tara! You didn't hear about this?
Tara: Hear about what? All I know is that Jon's tag title tournament has not yet taken place. I don?t know what the hell the Pyro Twins and Nykk are up to.
Nykk: Now, I know this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I've talked enough. I'll let you two fine, young gentlemen tell the tale. Tell the people how this victory came to be.
Jay: Well, Nykk, it's quite simple. Last week, we entered an FPPVW Tag Team Title tournament in Rio de Janeiro. And we faced some stiff competition too.
Tara: Rio de Janeiro? Is this some kind of joke!?
Dusty: That's right. We didn't have much hope at first, when we saw that are first round opponents were none other than Hawk and Animal themselves, the Road Warriors!
Tara: What!?
Dusty: But we pulled through, and WHAM! We hit Final Darkness for the 1,2,3.
Dick: That was a great match, Tara.
Tara: The Road Warriors? One of them is dead!
Jay: The second round proved to be much tougher, as we faced the legendary masked Executioners! But once again, we showed them why you don't play with fire, or you get burned. We melted their masks right onto their faces and advanced to the next round.
Dusty: That's where we faced the mighty tandem of Conquistadore #88 and Conquistadore 3.14. It was an epic battle, but in the end, we won our trophies, the FPPVW Tag Team Titles!
(Nykk is absolutely beaming.)
Nykk: You see, Jon Z, now THAT'S how you crown tag team champions! I'd completely given up on you ever getting around to starting the damn tournament, so I did something about it. Though I don't have a promoter's license in this country, I did happen to acquire one for South America. So I held my own little tournament, and as you see, that makes the Pyro Twins your first champions! I've sent all the documents to Jon, so don't worry, it?s all nice and legal. Now I can concentrate on driving Ronin Fox into an early retirement.
Jay: We never dreamed what an honor it would be to win our first tag team titles in an exotic location like Rio de Jannaro...
Tara: He can?t even say the name right!
Jay: ...but we ARE the FPPVW Tag Team Champions, and the best part is... there's not a damn thing that you can do about it, Jon Z!
("Fuel" plays and the Heel Stable exits the ring, laughing their asses off.)
Tara: There you have it. The Pyro Twins claim to be the first ever FPPVW Tag Team Champions.
Dick: What do you mean 'claim to be?' They have the belts!
Tara: I have serious doubts that this "tournament" even took place, and I know they're lying about who they beat. I mean, who the hell holds a title tournament in Rio de Janeiro?
Dick: I believe him. Nykk only has the best interests of the company in mind, Tara. Wasn't he right about Super Crazy?
Tara: Oh, just... go to commercial. We'll try to sort this mess out. We'll be right back.
(Commercial Break)
("Darling Nikki" hits and Precious Lucy makes her way to the ring.)
Tara: Maybe the ladies can bring some semblance of sanity to this show. Here comes Precious Lucy, a young, up-and-coming athlete, but her attitude leaves a bit to be desired.
Dick: What do you mean, attitude? She just has a little class, that's all.
Tara: It seems to me that a more appropriate word would be spoiled. She seems to think that she's going to have everything handed to her here in FPPVW, like she's above the whole promotion or something. Well, unless she joins the Heel Stable and they give her a title, it's just not going to happen.
("Faint" hits and Kai Kitta makes her way to the ring.)
Tara: Kai Kitta is on her way down, another young lady who shows a lot of promise. Many people thought she would be the first FPPVW Ladies Champion, but Naomi Leach surprised us all, I think, back in their match in December.
(FINISH: Kai whips Lucy in for the Interceptor, but Kara Draxus runs down and pulls on her leg from the outside, tripping Lucy. Kai walks over and Kara gets on the apron. Kai slingshots her in the ring, and the ref tries to hold them apart. He backs Kara into a corner, leaning down and gripping the middle ropes, trying to hold her there. Kai and the ref get out of the way just in time as Lucy launches herself at Kai with a dropkick. She accidentally nails Kara, and in the confusion, Kai rolls up Lucy for the pin.)
Tara: Another win for Kai Kitta!
Dick: Yeah, but it wasn't very decisive, was it?
Tara: You try wrestling a match while someone is trying to interfere.
(Kai celebrates, but Kara suddenly clips her knee from behind. She and Lucy start to stomp on Kai, but Naomi Leach runs out with a chair and Lucy and Kara make a hasty exit.)
Tara: Thank goodness for our Ladies Champion. She cleared the ring before this could get out of hand.
(Naomi helps Kai to her feet as "Social" plays.)
Tara: We'll be right back with the debut of a new FPPVW wrestler!
(Commercial Break)
(A backwards "Superman" theme plays as Aki Mann makes his way to the ring, looking over his shoulder every second or so.)
Tara: We're back with Aki Mann, who is still running from whatever evil he saw last October.
Dick: I'm sure whatever evil it was just got bored and left by now, but poor Aki's career hasn't recovered.
("One Step Closer" by Linkin Park hits and Johnny Kashmere makes his way to the ring.)
Tara: We?re about to see the FPPVW debut of Johnny Kashmere, who has been making a name for himself over the past couple of years on the independent level as one half of the Backseat Boyz. He was originally chosen by Kevin Stone to be his replacement partner, but Kevin himself was injured while training just the other day. He'll be out of action for a couple of months.
Dick: Well, he's got a tough task ahead of him, if Aki can forget about the great evil for a second and wrestle.
(FINISH: Aki continually looks around for the great evil, letting Johnny regain the advantage. He finally goes for the Aki Armbar, but gets distracted when he accidentally bumps into the worker who is still asleep on the ring apron. Kashmere takes advantage and hits the Backseat Driver for the pin.)
Tara: Impressive ringwork from Kashmere, as he makes his FPPVW debut. Even though he was brought in as a replacement partner, I wouldn?t mind getting some more singles action out of him.
Dick: Tara, you wouldn?t mind getting some action out of him period.
(A smacking sound is heard.)
Tara: We'll be right back.
(Commercial Break)
(Backstage, Jon Z is on his cell phone.)
Jon: What do you mean there's nothing I can do? They can't just make up their own titles and claim to be the FPPVW Tag Team Champions! Nothing I can do? What kind of a lawyer are you? (pause) Signature? I never signed anything authorizing this! (pause) Well, I think I would remember giving Nykk permission to hold a tournament in South America! (pause) I don't want to hear it. You do what you have to do to get these titles abolished!
(He hangs up and Nykk comes into the room, still smiling.)
Nykk: Do I know how to book a tournament or what? I tell you, Jon, you'll be the first person I send a copy to when the DVD comes out...
Jon: Just what in the hell do you think you're trying to pull? I've got a lawyer on the phone who says that I signed a document to authorize your little... hoax... when I am perfectly aware that I would do no such thing.
Nykk: But you did, Jon. Remember a few weeks ago, all those papers you had to sign? I took the liberty of sneaking in a few, for the good of the company of course.
Jon: You son of a...
Nykk: Now, now, no name calling. Contract 4A specifically states that if you hurt my feelings, you will be fined $500 on the spot.
Jon: How can I be fined? I own the damn company! Where would my money... never mind, I don't want to know. In any case, all this is for naught. As far as I know, no one even knows that this tournament actually took place, and I certainly can?t take yours, Jay's or Dusty's word on it, can I? For this to have gone through, you would have needed an official FPPVW referee to officiate the matches...
Nykk: Way ahead of you, Jon. As a matter of fact, we did have a ref down in Rio de Janyero, and he can attest to the fact that the Pyro Twins, did indeed, win the tournament.
(Nykk opens the door and David Caldwell walks in, smirking.)
Jon: Oh, so you officiated these matches, er...
David: David Caldwell.
Jon: Do you even work here?
Nykk: Contract 67B gave me the authorization to hire a personal official for the Heel Stable. God knows we don?t get any fair calls from the rest of the refs around here.
(Jon looks in between Nykk and David.)
Jon: Get out... just... get out. MY tag title tournament will go ahead as planned, no matter what. I'll deal with this mess, rest assured. You won?t get away with it.
Nykk: (laughs) But we already have, Jon.
(He and David exit, and Jon puts his head in his hands. A few moments later, Huh walks in, carrying a toy replica of a tag team title belt.)
Huh: Hey Jon, look! I'm a tag team champion!
Jon: Huh, not you too! Out! Get out! You too, cameraman! I have to think!
(Huh and the cameraman go outside the office, where the Concession Boyz are waiting.)
Huh: I don't think he liked the toy replica belts, guys.
Beermaster: Ah, that's too bad. Back to the drawing board, I guess.
(Concession Boy III slings a large board over his neck, and Huh and the Beermaster start doodling ideas on it with magic markers, but it quickly degenerates into a game of tic tac toe.)
(In the arena, "Pajamarama" hits and Cheesecake makes his way to the ring, along with Pinky.)
Tara: I guess since Cheesecake is wrestling, and Huh has the night off, he chose to spend his creative juices in a different arena, so to speak.
Dick: You know, that tic tac toe idea might make a good t-shirt.
Tara: Nonetheless, I could tell that Jon is still pissed about these... "Rio" Tag Team Titles. But it truly appears that Nykk may have gotten the better of him this time.
("The Way I Am" hits and Austin Lee makes his way to the ring.)
Tara: Speaking of pissed off, Austin Lee has to be angry that after losing to J.R. Ryder at Pain and Glory, he will not have the chance to get any revenge.
Dick: Austin Lee has been moving up in the ranks recently, after getting off to a slow start. Cheesecake could be in trouble here.
(FINISH: As Cheesecake regains the advantage, Pinky grows increasingly concerned about the presence of the sleeping man. She tries to wake him up, but to no avail. She gets on the apron to make sure he's still breathing, but Austin notices her. He sends Cheesecake down with a back elbow and walks over to Pinky, pie-facing her off the apron. Cheesecake shoves Austin out of the way to go check on her, but Austin spins him around and plants him with the Degenerate Driver for the pin.)
Tara: Now what did Pinky do to deserve that? She was obviously concerned for the safety of that crewman who always seems to sleep through the shows, and Austin just pie faced her to the floor.
Dick: Hey, when you get up on that apron, you're fair game no matter whether you're Pinky or the sleeping man.
Tara: Well, it's a tough break for Cheesecake, but of course the main story of the night is the crowning of our "first"... wink, wink... tag team champions the Pyro Twins. I've just heard from Jon Z that the main event tonight will be Alan Mayse defending his newly won FPPVW Title against one member of the Heel Stable. I'm not sure what Jon's up to, giving out this title shot, but I guess we?ll find out later.
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, Concession Boy III is selling Joey Sprinklers "ass hose" shirts to the people in the front row. He then gets a t-shirt gun and goes into the ring.)
Tara: We're back, and Concession Boy III better get out of the ring so we can get our next match out here. He's giving away some merchandise here, as apparently no one wants a shirt with Joey Sprinklers' ugly face on it.
Dick: Those shirts should be recalled and destroyed. I've never seen a more insulting t-shirt than those that depict Joey with a hose up his... er... corn chute.
(Suddenly, Joey Sprinklers runs out of the crowd, carrying his skateboard. He jumps in the ring and cracks it across the back of Concession Boy III's head. Joey stomps on him, and then starts strangling him with one of the t-shirts.)
Tara: Oh, come on, Joey! Get over it!
Dick: No, Joey, keep going! This is great, Tara! At least one of the Concession Boyz is finally paying for all the trouble their family has caused.
Tara: Family?
("Crazy Train" hits and Silver King runs down to the ring, wearing a plain, white t-shirt. Joey, thinking that since the Heel Stable?s been working with him recently, assumes he's here to help. However, Silver King pulls Joey off Concession Boy III and takes off his shirt, revealing a Joey Sprinklers "ass hose" shirt underneath. As Joey asks him why, Silver King sends him down with some right hands. Joey ducks out of the ring and Silver King hits a pescado. He then takes another t-shirt and drapes it over Joey?s face. He gets back in the ring and helps Concession Boy III up.)
Tara: Silver King is out here, and has apparently severed all ties with the Heel Stable. What is the relationship between Silver King and Concession Boy III?
Dick: Now why would he do a thing like that? He should have been driven back across the border along with Super Crazy!
("Let?s All Go to the Lobby" hits as Silver King helps a dazed Concession Boy III from the ring. Joey, meanwhile, has woken up and grabs a mic.)
Joey: Hey, you's guys... don't think I'm finished yet! Silver King... in case you haven?t noticed, your buddy has left FPPVW! You have no one to protect you now, cause I'm gonna break your knees! You and me, right now!
(Silver King looks at Joey, and rolls back into the ring.)
Tara: A challenge has been laid out here, and it looks like Silver King accepts!
(Referee Becky Junker rolls into the ring and calls for the bell.)
(FINISH: Joey goes for the Sprinklanator, but Silver King counters into a roll up for a two count. Joey pushes him off and into the ref. Silver King checks on the ref, but Joey hits him from behind with a forearm to send him out of the ring. Joey tries to wake the ref up as Silver King grabs the t-shirt gun. As Joey leans out to bring Silver King back in, Silver King fires a t-shirt, which hits Joey in the head and knocks him out. Silver King rolls back in and covers as the ref wakes up. She makes the three count.)
Tara: Silver King has beaten Joey Sprinklers right here on Foundation!
Dick: Now, don?t tell me that's fair. He just shot him with a t-shirt gun!
Tara: You can't say that Joey didn't dig his own grave by coming out here and ambushing Concession Boy III. You reap what you sow.
(Commercial Break)
(Jon is looking through contracts in the back, trying to pick out Nykk's special contracts, when Ronin Fox knocks on the door and enters.)
Ronin: Jon, I need to talk to you.
Jon: Fox, I'm kind of busy right now. I was careless. I let down my guard, and Nykk got me with a good one.
Ronin: He'll do that to you if you let him. Listen, that's why I'm here. I know we have Gauntlet coming up next month, and I want a match with Nykk. He cost me the FPPVW Title at Pain and Glory, so it's time I showed him how much that is going to cost him.
Jon: I would love nothing more than to see you beat the holy hell out of Nykk, but you've faced off with him many times before. You can have your revenge, but since you?ve had so many matches... I'd like this one to be something special. Think you can come up with something?
Ronin: Oh, I'm sure of it.
(He walks out of the office and Jon goes back to his contract sorting.)
(In the arena, "Simon Sez" hits and Swinger makes his way to the ring.)
Tara: I'm beginning to wonder if this is "Leave FPPVW Week" or something. First, Super Crazy leaves, and J.R. Ryder along with him. Then yesterday, we get notice from Simon Diamond, saying that he was going to work in NWA-TNA. So not only did the Kevin Stone tag team go kaput, but so did the team of Swinger and Simon Diamond.
(Swinger gets a mic.)
Swinger: Dayton, Ohio... Swinger's got a problem!
Tara: That's original.
Swinger: You see, my good friend Simon Diamond can't come to work for a while. I'm pretty sure he's sick or something. So that leaves Swinger without a tag team partner for the upcoming tournament. But tonight, Swinger will be in singles competition and he promises, he will...
(He?s cut off when "Wherever I May Roam" hits and Ronin Fox makes his way to the ring.)
Dick: Why did he interrupt Swinger? I wanted to see where he was going with that.
Tara: Ronin Fox has to be upset that he is not FPPVW Champion after Pain and Glory. After eliminating Nykk, Nykk came back and interfered, costing Ronin the match.
Swinger: Ronin Fox, Swinger says you exit the ring immediately and let him finish his spiel!
(Ronin Fox gets a mic.)
Ronin: You know, in case you haven't noticed, your partner is gone, and no matter what, you cannot be him. Now, after I deal with Nykk at Gauntlet, you can rest assured that I will get back in the title hunt. But first, I have to prove to Jon Z that I am worthy of that spot. So sorry, Swinger, but tonight you?re just going to have to shut up and wrestle!
(The bell rings.)
(FINISH: Ronin makes his comeback, but Swinger retakes control and hits the Swing Thing. He covers, but Ronin gets a foot on the bottom rope. Swinger pulls him back up and whips him into the corner. Fox jumps to the second rope and vaults off backwards, catching Swinger in the Tail End DDT. He covers and gets the three count.)
Tara: Ronin Fox with the victory, and may have just stopped his downward momentum with one DDT.
Dick: I can tell you one thing, he may have wished for Nykk at Gauntlet, but the old saying "Be careful what you wish for" has never been more prominent. He may want Nykk now, but will he still feel the same way when they step into the ring?
(Backstage, Zac Hensley is standing next to Alan Mayse, who has the FPPVW Title on his shoulder.)
Zac: I'm here with the new FPPVW Champion Alan Mayse. Alan, this is your third time to hold that title.
Alan: I have to tell you, it gets sweeter every time, Zac.
Zac: You certainly had a grueling contest for that title at Pain and Glory. But there's no rest for the weary, as tonight you have a title match with one member of the Heel Stable. That means you could face Nykk, Joey Sprinklers, Jay Crowe or Dusty Schneble. Do you have any preference?
Alan: Nykk and I have quite a history, so you know I wouldn't mind at all getting my hands on him again. But you know what's really gotten to me tonight? The Pyro Twins. They think that they can win some tournament in Rio de Janeiro and call themselves champions? Jon Z may have to acknowledge their victory, but I don't believe that tournament happened for a second. The Heel Stable thinks they can manipulate the course of FPPVW with fake title changes? (taps his belt) This is what you call a real championship, Nykk, Pyro Twins. Something you work hard for, not fabricate or try to buy. And as I represent the company, I will defend this belt against all comers, even if I don?t personally feel they deserve it.
Zac: Ladies and gentlemen, our main event is next.
(Commercial Break)
(In the arena, "Seven Nation Army" hits and Alan Mayse makes his way to the ring.)
Tara: Finally, a REAL champion.
Dick: What are you talking about, Tara? You don't still think that Nykk just made that whole tournament up, do you?
Tara: Normally, the challenger would enter first, but we still don?t know who Alan is facing.
("Seek and Destroy" hits and Nykk, Vix and the Pyro Twins walk out. Nykk already has a mic.)
Nykk: Alan, I would love nothing more than to have another shot at the FPPVW Title, but as I've got Ronin Fox on my back, I can see that now is not the time. So, to your disappointment, I will not be giving you a wrestling lesson tonight. And poor Joey Sprinklers is still as dead to the world as that guy sleeping on the apron. So Dusty, feel free to go down there and turn Plain Vanilla into Crème Roulette!
(Dusty gets a sadistic smile on his face and charges to the ring. He rolls into the ring and the bell rings.)
(FINISH: Alan tries his best to wrestle Dusty with the rest of the Heel Stable hovering around the ring. Midway through, Jon Z himself comes out and warns Nykk against interfering. Nykk tells them that he wants the title for himself, so he?s certainly not going to help Dusty win it. Alan goes for a missile dropkick, but Dusty shoves the ref in Alan's path. Jay gets on the apron, and Alan goes over to yell at him. Meanwhile, Dusty retrieves his tag title belt and waits for Alan to turn around, nailing him in the head with it. Dusty puts the belt down and Jon Z slides into the ring to grab it. Nykk grabs the other end of the belt and they have a tug of war for a second before Jay nails Jon from behind with a forearm. Nykk lifts Jon and drops him across the barricade as Jay kicks him numerous times in the midsection. In the ring, the ref wakes up and Dusty covers Alan, who just manages to kick out. Dusty whips Alan into the ropes for the Rope Burn, but Alan counters into a DDT. He lifts Dusty for a powerslam as Nykk gets on the apron. Dusty rolls off Alan's shoulders and pushes him toward Nykk, but Alan goes low and dropkicks Nykk's feet. Nykk falls off the apron and hits his head on it. Dusty moves in, but gets a knee to the midsection. Alan hits the tiger bomb and gets the pin.)
Tara: Despite interference from the Heel Stable, Alan Mayse has successfully defended his title. But what the hell has gotten into Nykk and Jay? They just attacked Jon on the outside!
Dick: He's the boss, Tara. He shouldn't be directly involved with the matches. In my opinion, he made a big mistake by coming out here. He should just stick to the back and leave the fighting to the real men.
Tara: You know, he's your boss too.
Dick: As I said, Jay and Nykk had no business attacking the owner of this company! They should be suspended on the spot and fined!
(Alan gets up in the corner to pose with his belt, but makes the mistake of thinking Nykk is down. Nykk attacks him from behind, and the Pyro Twins come in and join in on the attack. Dusty and Jay hit Final Darkness, and Nykk applies the Bellbrookville Cedarleaf.)
Tara: Alan's tapping out, but it won't do him any good! What is wrong with the Heel Stable? Haven't they done enough tonight!?
(Nykk finally releases him and "Seek and Destroy" plays. Vix gets in a few stomps as the Pyro Twins each pose in a corner with a tag title belt.)
Tara: Well, I'm sorry we have to end on this note, but we're out of time. We'll see you next week, everyone!
Dick: I didn?t mean it, boss, honest!
(Copyright info, fade to black.)
Foundation Report:
Show Quality-70
Nielson Rating-.46
Attendance-172
Segment Breakdown: Overall rating (crowd reaction/match quality)
The Nykk Show with The Pyro Twins: 79
Kai Kitta def. Precious Lucy: 66(60/73)
Johnny Kashmere def. Aki Mann: 64(53/75)
Jon Z on the Pyro Twins Controversy: 68
Austin Lee def. Cheesecake: 66(58/74)
Concesssion Boy, Joey Sprinklers and Silver King in the ring: 65
Silver King def. Joey Sprinklers: 67(59/75)
Fox challenges Nykk for Gauntlet: 74
Ronin Fox def. Swinger: 76(67/85)
Alan speaks out: 80
Alan Mayse def. Dusty Schneble: 73(66/81)
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2004 Future Pay Per View Wrestling
