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“ Don’t call them.” His voice was hoarse and quiet. Her mouth opened with disbelieving shock, eyebrows raised. “ Please, just don’t.” She stopped dialing, and held the ‘phone above him, pointed at it to convey her point.
“ You expect me to NOT call my friends, when you’re laying here weak as a baby, and I can get away?” She stared dubiously down at him, her chin raising a notch. “ And people call me crazy.”
“ Please, Fred.” She wondered why her name suddenly seemed awkward on his tongue, like he wasn’t sure quite how to say it. “ You know what they’d do. Angel would either kill me or somehow lock me away.”
She shook her head stubbornly, her eyes a little angry, a little wild. The sun had set, leaving the room in a blue-ish tinted. Twilight had come.
“ Are you saying, kidnapping isn’t something to go to jail over?” Lindsey groaned, bringing a hand up to his face, then quieted, looking away from her. But she could see that his eyes were serious.
“ You know I’d never hurt you right? That I’d…” His voice trailed off, and she realized he’d passed out again.
She looked at the phone in her hand, and then to his unconscious form. Slowly she set the phone down, and sat down on the milk crate, leaning against the side of the couch.
Trying to figure out what the hell she was doing, protecting the man who’d abducted her.
* * *
Across town, Wesley and Gunn were coming upon the splitting up point.
Wes took out his map, and Gunn followed suit - both glancing at their routes. Charles Gunn sighed, rubbing a frustrated hand over the smooth shaved skin of his scalp.
“What?” Wesley asked, busy with his nose in his own map.
“ We’re not going to find her this way.” Gunn said, anger in his voice. “ That ex-lawyer bastard had her hidden damn well.”
Wesley looked up and around, the streets were getting darker and the streetlights were starting to flicker on. At least Angel would be above ground, have more room to track.
“ What else can we do?” Wesley hated the words, even as he said them. They tasted like bitter things. Gunn looked away. “ No. Tell me. If you have any suggestions, I’d like to hear them, because right now, this is all we’ve got.” Gunn said nothing, only stared off at the horizon. “ Well, since you don’t - I suggest we continue on.”
Wesley turned, about to march away with all this English pride stuck up his ass, when Gunn grabbed onto his elbow, spinning him around. His face was dark with anger, and maybe a little something else.
“ You’re a fucking coward, you know that righ’?” Wesley opened his mouth to speak, but Gunn’s hand tightened painfully on his arm and he could only wince. “ I have feelings too and I’m sick of you pretendin’ you can’t seem ‘em.”
Wes frowned, but his heart was beating somewhere in the vicinity of his stomach.
“ I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Gunn looked at him strangely for a moment, before letting him go and standing rigidly. His gaze was stone, hard and cold.
“ Right, ‘cause that would be wrong wouldn’t it? Me feeling the way I do.” His cheek bones seemed to expand with some unidentifiable emotion. “ After all, you’ve got yourself all hot and bothered over Fred, and sure she’s sweet and I’d kill for her, but you can’t just act like I don’t.. that I…” Words evaded him, and frustrated he spun away, stomping off down the opposite street from Wesley. “ Forget I said anything, catch you later English, don’t go breakin’ your head open, or nothing.”
* * *
Cordy had been waiting for the attention of the police for over two hours, she’d put up plenty of a fuss, but no matter what she did, pouted, cried, went seductive, none of it worked. The station was busy with buzzing calls and scribbling pens. Men and women, both in uniform and not, buzzing around like busy bees.
Finally after many cups of coffee - so much caffeine that her leg was hopping from it, a detective with gray flecked hair and green eyes came out to the waiting bench and introduced himself as Detective Scott.
“ I understand you’d like to report a missing person.” Cordelia nodded. “ Did you fill out all the required paper work?” Her lips twisted and she handed him the clip board from her side, where at least thirteen forms had been filled out. “ Good.” He stood looking over it for a moment, glancing at the picture Cordy had clipped to the top. The woman had glasses, they were slightly crooked on her nose, her eyes were a deep brown - innocent and yet… not, somehow. She seemed vaguely familiar, and then he read the name that went with the face. “ Winifred Burkle. Not a name you forget.” He raised his eyes to Cordy’s. “Wasn’t she a missing person? Recently in fact, I think I recall her being in the database for quite a while.”
“ Yes.” Cordy stood up, fear written on the tired plains of her face. “ And she’s gone again.”
‘My fault,’ she added silently.
* * *
Fred woke slowly - her eyes adjusting to the darkness, she found his face above her, his nose swollen and bruised.
She screamed again.
Lindsey stumbled back, covering his ears.
“ Jesus, will you fricken STOP doing that?” When consciousness returned with full clarity, she sat up further, smiling sheepishly, before cracking the sore bones of her shoulders and neck.
“ Are you okay?” She asked after a moment of silence. Lindsey pulled a fic, nudge at his cheek bones carefully, which looked bruised themselves.
“ I’ll live.” A small, embarrassed grin. “ I think. Anyone ever tell you, ya have a mean right elbow jab?”
She laughed a little, and he caught himself in the middle of staring again. At the way the light from the street lamp slashed across the room and her face.
“ No. Then again, I’ve never used it before.”
“ Then I should feel special?”
“ If you like.”
Again there was silence, and neither was sure what the other might say. Or what they themselves should say. Then his face was serious, the shadowy lines of it tried to contain itself.
“ I can’t let you leave here, ya know.” She sputtered, and would have stood up, but he leaned down, his hands pushing her shoulders back against the couch. “ I’m not going to tie you up again, I can’t do that, but I need you to stay here. Just.. stay.”
“ Why?!” She shook her head, some of her hair whipping her in the face, rubbing against the skin of his wrists. “ I’m worrying Angel, sure! But not like you want him to be worried - so it’s a waste of time to keep me here!” She struggled under his grip, but he held steadfast, his eyes drilling into her own.
“ Not useless.” He murmured it, his voice almost a purr as his thumb came up to caress her cheek and the edge of her lips where they were turned down. Then he realized what he was doing and pulled casually away. His eyes lightened, tried to tame whatever the hell she seemed to bring out in him. “ You’re staying.” It wasn’t a question. “ I won’t tie you up, but I need you here right now.” ‘One day,’ he thought. ‘ Twenty-four hours, and all ready she was doing something to him that had never been done before. And he wanted to know what it was. Had to know, what it was. Because whatever it was, it was new. And a surprise. He wasn’t sure he liked the surprise.’
She moved slightly beneath his grip, and his wrist brushed against her breast. A tingle shot straight from his fingers to his groin and he fought arousal like it was a dagger to the heart. He let go of her carefully. “ I promise not to hurt you… you know I won’t. But I can’t let you go. I’m sorry.” Couldn’t let her go - not until he figured out what it was about her…
He turned and left her there. But she knew if she had got up to walk to the door, he would have been there - with that weird look in his eyes.
But she couldn’t explain the sympathy she’d begun to feel for him. Yes, she’d read plenty on how captives began to empathize with those who had abducted them, but this seemed to be different, and not all together convenient.
Fred found herself wanting to help him. And thinking what it would take, to get past the whammy Darla had been known to put on men.
So she stayed. For now. But she told herself she’d leave in the morning. Of course, the night was a very long, deep time. And it held the key to very many things. It might just hold the key to a man’s heart. Whether she knew it, or even meant it.
It was quiet for a few hours, the only sounds between them were the honks of horns and the occasional shout or rustle of wind from outside. Finally - he turned on the light above them and sat in the chair he’d so recently had her tied up in. It was as though he were evening things up, and he honestly looked like hell.
When she told him that, he laughed.
It was a strange sound, like he didn’t indulge in such behavior very often.
“ You’re great on the ego, babe.” His grin would have been much more effective if it hadn’t been blocked his swollen nose.
“ I don’t get you.” She said finally - when he just looked at her. “ You just don’t fit into a nice little place, and I LIKE things to fit in a nice little place.” Lindsey shrugged, leaning forward when she sat on the milk crate a few feet away from him.
“ Let’s just say I learned a lot of things the hard way, when I was a kid, and I didn’t waste that knowledge later on in life.” But he didn’t really want to talk about that. “ And you? Who are you?”
She waved a hand at herself.
“ No one really. Just plain old Winifred Burkle.” He looked at her for a while. “ Not much to look at her, time to move on.”
“ Now that’s a lie.” He said it silkily. “ You’re not plain, or old.” And it certainly wasn’t time to move on. Not when things were just getting interesting. “ Tell me about yourself.” Fred got a confused little frown on her face. Like she was suspicious of why he was asking. But then she saw just how serious his expression was, and realized he really did want to know something about her. Talk about, going from strange to weird, to weirder.
“Uhh…” Fred cleared her throat, clasping nervous fingers together. “ I’m from Texas.” She pointed to her voice box, or where it would be in her throat. “ Obviously.”
He smiled. It really WAS a killer smile. Which could be a good or a bad thing, depending.
“ Yeah.”
So, since his ears were open, and since she had a taste for things that were odd - she told him about herself. Straight into the night until the sun was rising over the edge of the California tanned rooftops. He listened quietly, interrupting occasionally with a stray thought or observation.
She explained, the first time she’d read a book - how it had become a little obsession for her. He told her he knew all about obsession.
She told him about her first kiss. He only smiled again. Made her wonder what he was thinking.
Fred forgot the situation that had brought them together in this musty, broken room - and instead fell into her memories, a satisfied quirk of her lips along side the stories.
Until she reached one. Pylea.
“ Pylea?” He’d asked. “ Sounds familiar.” Then he’d remembered reading a document once, when he’d first joined Wolfram & Hart. It said something about it being a hell dimension that had been created for the specific purpose of selling human slaves to the highest bidder of the demon breed. But he didn’t tell her this, because her eyes were strained with the memories and she had stopped talking, thrusting her chin onto her drawn up knees.
In there in body - but in a completely different world in memory.
He wanted to tell her understood, that he’d been lost all his life, that he’d never been found - but he couldn’t. So he just sat back in the chair, crossing his legs at the ankle, and watched her. Learned her. And began to care about her.
* * *
“ Angel? It’s me.” Cordelia murmured into the pay phone, distracted by the detective who stood near by listening to her end of the conversation. “ Yeah, I’ve been talking with the police, and I gave them all the information… No, they don’t have anything huge. But they do know that Lindsey bought a sleeping gas from a Chinese Drug shop, just outside of the industrial district.”
Cordelia glanced back at the detective as Angel’s worried voice spoke into her ear. “ I know. I have this weird feeling though, Angel - I can’t explain it, its just there. No, she’s not in danger. That’s the weird part.”
* * *
Fred yawned and stretched and her stomach growled. It was obscenely loud in the quiet room. Lindsey chucked, and though it was still foreign, it was less so. He stood, yawning himself. He’d slept very little in the past week.
“ I’ll make you some breakfast.” He told her, and she rewarded him with a glowing smile of approval.
He felt something stretch up inside him, and firmly clamped it down. Not gonna happen.
From the miniature refrigerator, he took a few eggs and brought them into the other room. He found himself humming as he cracked them over the frying pan, turning up the flame on the small stove slightly. Shaking his head at himself, he scrambled the eggs, battering the yolks with his fork.
She came out, hands grabbing each other nervously. He realized he’d come to recognize what that meant.
“ You want to leave today, don’t you?”
She didn’t answer him for a moment, and he looked up from the frying pan, his eyes sad. Her mouth worked, before she shrugged.
“ You have ta’ admit, this has gotten strange.” He shook his head as if he didn’t know what she meant, but she knew he did. “ You and me, talking like we’re girl friends or something. You kidnapped me! I can’t stay here, it’s insane.” Very calmly she approached him. There was no fear in her now. And he knew right then he’d done this thing all wrong, he should have just kept his mouth shut, let her think what she would think. But he hadn’t been able to stand the accusing, frightened look in her eyes. So this mistake had been unavoidable, and now they knew each other.
Now - though it really was crazy, and he knew it, there was something inside of him for her.
And it felt like it had been waiting for an awful long time to get out. Since he’d been a little kid with a sticky neck and no shoes.
The eggs were burning, smoking up between them, so he quickly scraped them free and into a bowl. He shove its contents at her. She scowled down at it, but sat on the broken couch and dug in, eating greedily. Some guilt there, he hadn’t fed her quite well enough, and she did appear to have a big appetite for such a skinny girl.
“ Give me one more day.” He said finally, when she’d set her bowl aside and was strumming fingers across her stomach. His eyes followed that hands movement. “ And a night.” Fred sat up straighter at the tone of his voice, and he tried to clear the huskiness out of his voice. “ Then I’ll have had some of my revenge. Darla…” He realized he hadn’t been thinking of Darla last night. The first night in a very long time. “ Please Fred, just let me have one more night.”
She stood and eyed him like a nervous deer.
“ But - I don’t want to hurt Angel…” Lindsey let out a frustrated growl, coming forward to grip her by her cheeks. She looked up at him in confusion at his passion.
“ I know that!” His eyes softened on her torn face. “ Don’t you think I know that?”
She was something rise in his eyes as they flicked down to her mouth then back up to her eyes. “ Fred?”
“ Yes?” She licked her lip, and his gaze dropped again.
“ Nothing.” And then his lips were on hers, not hard - but not soft. Just there, pressing and breathing. Fred stood stock still, her eyes wide. She neither encouraged the kiss, nor shrunk from it. She was stuck between one urge to open her lips and press back and another, sensible voice that was telling her to push him back and run away as fast and hard as she could.
His fingers had a fine tremble to them as they stroked across her cheeks. Then her hands came up and pushed at his chest. He fell back as if ashamed, his eyes immediately falling to the floor. “ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. It won’t happen again.”
Her brow pinched, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Terrified that he could hear her heart pounding.
“ Then why did you?”
He glanced up at her, and his face was blank but for a tiny fake grin tilting up his lips, making him look smug.
“ Well now, I’m a man with a healthy, active sex drive. And you’re a pretty little thing, don’t take it personally.”
The words stung and he knew it, but didn’t take them back. Just watched her take a step back, and walk to the door. He would have let her go, but there was a nagging voice in the back of his head. ‘If she walks out that door, you might as well kiss your sorry ass goodbye. You might as well spend your life drunk, because you won’t be able to take not knowing what she meant to you.’
“ Fred.”
She stopped, stiffened. “ I promise not to do it again.” She looked back at him, mouth tight. “ Really. I got carried away. But - just.. Give me this. I know you don’t want to hurt Angel - but I need some sense of closure.” He stepped toward her, hated that she backed away slightly. “ Can you give me that Fred? Just one day to get over someone that once meant the world to me?”
Her lips trembled, and her expression revealed her frustration with his changing of the rules. He was asking her to stay. Which meant, whatever she did, she’d be screwed. If she stayed, she’d hurt Angel. If she left, well chances are she’d leave this man forever in limbo. Or he’d just come up with some other stupid scheme to get his revenge, and possibly get himself hurt in the mean time.
Her mouth firmed. The choice made.
She took a step forward.
“ One day.” She said, cursing herself for the choice. For what she’d leave her friends feeling. But wasn’t this what they were supposed to do? Save souls. Maybe she was an important part of the team after all. And maybe she was just making excuses. “ And one night.”
His smile flashed again, and something fluttered perilously close to her heart. “ Now let’s get some more ice on that big honker of a nose you’ve got yourself stuck with.”
He trailed behind her slowly, hands in the pockets of his worn jeans.
Her scent wafted around him, engulfed him. Sure, she hadn’t taken a shower in a few days, but it had just made all that fruity stuff women usually wore, disappear, and now - all there was to her skin, was the natural Fred. And even with a nose as sore as his, he did all he could to breath it in.
* * *
The three of them sat on the uncomfortable hotel benches. Gunn slumped down, his chin against his chest. Angel had his head leaning back against the marble back. Wesley had his forehead in his hand, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Cordelia had her thighs raised to her chest, cheek resting against her knee caps, eyes on the male members of Angel Investigations.
They looked as beat and run down as she felt.
“ You know,” she said, and they all shifted, looking at her. “ I wouldn’t think there could be this much brooding going on at one time. I guess we all have to set new records every now and then.” Angel snorted, then felt guilty and went back to brooding. Gunn said nothing, glancing at Wesley who was avoiding eye contact, then away.
Watching all of them, Cordelia had her own little epiphany. These guys - these three, they were hers. No, not their hearts, though she was starting worry about the way Angel had begun looking at her. They were the people she was supposed to take care of. Yeah, they were okay in a battle, they knew they’re way around a sword or a stake. Had even been known to be quite prolific with the mace and several other weapons.
But they knew nothing about the good parts of life. And it was up to her and Fred to show them, to drag them back from the edge and into the sunlight. Well, in Angel’s case - drag him into the metaphorical beam of light.
“ I’m thinking Fred’s okay.” She said, apparently out of the blue. And all heads swiveled toward her again. “ Yeah. I’m thinking she’s doing just fine.”
“ Why?” Wes asked plainly, a little desperate. Cordy flicked an eyebrow him.
“ You gonna ask the super seer that again, or should I point out that I’m kinda other worldly, and see things that others cannot?”
Wesley frowned, but a little of the fear cleared its cobwebs away.
“ No, I suppose you don’t have to.” And then he cleared his throat. “ So - you’ve had a vision, she’s safe?”
“ Nothing like that.” Cordy admitted. “ But wherever she is, she’s… Just take my word on it, okay? She’s not going to come to harm.”
“ That’s something then.” Angel said from his position next to her. “ At least she’s not going to pay for…”
“ What you are.” Gunn finished. The room was tense again, but Cordy’s shoulders had gotten too tight to do much more about it, than look away from Angel’s dark face.
On the wall, the clock ticked - as the day slowly moved by.
* * *
Lindsey claimed the bottom half of the trashed couch, while she claimed the top.
They were both eating out of small bags of chips. Conversation was slowly picking up again, no matter how much they both fought against revealing more.
“When did you fall for Darla?” Fred burst out suddenly, then shoved a salt & vinegar chip into her mouth, trying to shut herself up. He glanced at her curiously, brushing a few crumbs of his t-shirt.
“ It’s not a definite date.” He said after so long she’d been afraid he wasn’t going to answer. “ I.. was part of the group that brought her back from the dead. Even then, I hated Angel. Not for the same reasons, but I wanted him to suffer.” Fred was uncomfortable with what he was saying, but she didn’t stop him. “ She was a human then.” Fred was momentarily blindsided by the news, and Lindsey watched her unrepentantly. “I told you I’d done a lot of things.” He paused. “ Think you can take them?”
When she didn’t answer, too busy avoiding what he was really saying. “Anyways, Darla was definitely not satisfied with being a human, it drove her mad… thankfully for her sanity, or not - Dru showed up. Darla’s grand childe. And she turned Darla. And somewhere along that line, I’d become infatuated with her. I doubt it was love. Maybe it was a twisted form of it. But - there I was, obsessed with a soulless killer. Didn’t really say much about my morals, but I’ve never pretended to be the good guy.”
He watched the parade of reactions play across her face. He was sure she thought several times, that she should just get up and leave. Never look back. “ I tried to get close to her. But she was never mine to get close too.” Bittersweet memories moved through him. “ Never mine.” He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and was no longer in his past, instead staring straight into the dark brown eyes of the fairy like woman before him. “ What about you? Ever been in love? Just to kill time, I mean. If you’d like to tell me.”
She laughed.
“ Well, I did have this huge crush on Angel once.” Lindsey’s face darkened, fell into endless shadows. Forever destined to fall for Angel’s women. “ But it passed, as those things tend to…” He took a deep breath, wishing he didn’t feel so relieved. Then she looked into him with those terribly honesty eyes of hers. “ I think Love is something that’s worth waiting for though. That someone you’d give up everything you’ve ever had for.”
Lindsey nodded, wondering at his inability to speak. When the air grew so thick she couldn’t breathe it in, Fred changed the topic.
“ So, last night I told you about my child hood, why don’t you tell me about yours?” And apparently the conversation turn wasn’t something that pleased him, if his clenching muscles were any sign.
“ Nothing big. I was shit poor, the town’s dirt, and the beat up guy - till I learned how to fight back. A kid’s gotta learn how to fight right?” But he didn’t seem to want an answer; he didn’t seem to want to talk about it at all. She stood from the couch, his bag of chips spilling onto the floor where it crunched under his feet as he moved to the door way, hands gripping onto the sides, head falling down, bending his shoulder blades.
Hesitantly, Fred followed him, sliding a palm up over his back and squeezing his shoulder in a friendly manner.
“ They shouldn’t have to.” She said kindly, trying. “ Lindsey - you should have had more of a chance to be a kid.”
He went stiffer than before, but when she would have left him alone, he turned suddenly and they were too close together for comfort. His forehead came to rest on hers and something insider he stuttered, stopped. Even with his nose slightly swollen and bruised, his eyes were a brilliant blue and it singed her eyelashes. He rubbed his brow over hers.
“ Why are you so damn good, Fred?” He whispered it, and his warm breath fell across her lips. She tried not to lean forward. His hands came up and gripped the curve of her waist. “ And how the hell did you end up here?”
Fred coughed, almost laughing.
“ I believe some idiot kidnapped the wrong woman.” He smiled, his head tilting, eyes locking with her own.
“ Oh yeah.” He tried to be teasing, but failed miserably. “ Remind me to thank him.”
And then he bent his head forward, and they’re lips were touching again in a butterfly of a kiss. She didn’t push away this time, but stayed still for a long moment before shuddering and pushing forward with her lips, opening up to the sweep up of tongue as it stroked inside her mouth like a wolf starving for sustenance.
A soft moan vibrated from her chest and into his as he swept his hands up her back and then down, drawing her closer so her torso pushed against his with every inhale. But hell, she wasn’t breathing anyway, so she didn’t care. Something blossomed inside her, wept with utter joy and pleasure. Her fingers gripped onto the back of his head and dragged him in deeper, harder as her tongue tangled with his and was taught.
Sure she’d been kissed, even petted, but never like this, no, not ever. She startled when she felt a large hand cover her breast and rub gently, but she didn’t push away, too caught up in the sensations to give a damn who this was, and who he had been, or what he had done.
Only that her made her burn - and she’d never caught fire like this before.
The hand moved down and away, massaged circles onto her stomach that she arched into, skin so alive it burned. When his fingers gripped the bottom of her t-shirt, she lifted her arms willingly, let him drag it over her head.
“ Oh god…” He moaned it against her throat as he ducked his head to taste. She closed her eyes, running her fingers through the black silk of his hair. Feeling ripe satisfaction and need for more settle inside her stomach, lower, deeper. Lips tugged on her nipple through white cotton and moisture broke through the barrier until her nipples were as hot and wet as her panties had become.
She would wonder later what had possessed her. She’d gripped onto his head and pulled him up for another intimate kiss before splaying her hands on his back, pushing it up until it bunched around his neck and she could feel all that smooth muscle shifting beneath her fingers as he pressed his body against hers moved her backwards toward the couch. Her knees hit it and she fell onto it with an UMPH, her head at the dragging part, all the blood rushing - just everywhere in her body, but focussing right where it seemed to count. Then his knees were between her legs, spreading her wide, pressing his hips against her in slow circles that made her toss her head to the side, gritting her teeth.
Wanting something she’d fantasized about; dreamed about - but had never known.
Something insider her pulsed and she lifter her hips greedily, grabbing a handful of toned buttocks beneath jeans, his groan was edgy in her ears and made her grin, albeit a little crazily up at the ceiling. His tongue drew slow, knowing circles just behind her ears, and she made her choice again, without even realizing it.
His slid her sports bra over her head, eyes focused on her breasts while his hands went to work sliding her skirt up to her waist. And then his tongue was doing wicked things to her belly button, things she’d heard women giggle about, but had never really been able to laugh with them about. But she would now. She’d giggle right along side them, and know she’d be touched, licked and kissed right where everything was centered, right through the cotton of her panties, then deeper when the tugged them off.
Surely she’d come to her senses later and be astounded at her wantonness with a man she’d so recently considered dangerous. But not now, she just spread her legs wider and reveled in the feel of something maybe less knowing then her hand, but with a texture and slipperiness that made her bite her lip when she would have cried out, the orgasm settling over her in a white washed wave.
She smiled all the way through it, and then he was above her, yanking off his shirt and fumbling with the buckle of his jeans. He sat back on the rocky couch, shoving them down and off his ankles, throwing his boots half way across the room as he trembled, his breath heavy pants as he climbed back over her, his eyes obsidian in his face.
“ You ready?” He whispered, and she nodded, touching his swollen nose and making him look away embarrassed.
“ It’s okay.” She said softly - brushing her hand over his cheek, and he looked down at her, his eyes softer then she thought they should be, in such a hard face. “ Just don’t hurt yourself.” It was a challenge maybe, and he took it.
“ I won’t hurt YOU.” He promised again, and she believed him, REALLY believed him.
Carefully, he pressed the head of his penis against her opening - looking down between them to watch the way he slid into her, slowly - as if he couldn’t help but savor it, the sweet torture of it. She was so tight, it almost hurt - but only in the good way, the way that made him grit his teeth and throw his head back, struggling for some sem balance of control. He moved until he was wedged against something inside her, barely able to think. And then the fog cleared and he looked down at the woman below him, who’s face was tight with a small pain, but hips were encouraging movement.
She was a virgin.
Why it shocked him, he would never know. But it had, and his gasp had come out so loud he would be embarrassed about it later. He was staggered, completely. She looked up at him, trusting him to make it right, and he’d never been with a virgin in his life. Carefully, he nudged forward, but he wasn’t getting in with gentle movements and they only made her flinch. He bit his lip, unsure of how to continue.
“ Just do it.” She said below him, her voice shaking, her accent hanging right out there. “ It’s gonna hurt, I know. I’m not stupid.”
“ I don’t want to hurt you.” He said again, but god - his erection was throbbing and he didn’t know how long he was gonna last before he couldn’t take it anymore.
“ It will be over quick. Cordy and I had a talk about it once. But I all ready knew it anyway’.” She gripped his lower back, scraping her nails along the sensitive area and making him cry out, eyes going heavy.
“ Okay.” He relented, voice husky. “ Just… I’m sorry for it.” His muscles stiffened, prepared. And then he lunged forward, breaking through her virginity. She cried out, definitely not in delight and he immediately stilled, rubbing his forehead across her shoulder, kissing his way across her collar bone as her chest shuddered beneath him, processing the jab of pain.
He leaned back, lifting his torso away from hers so he could look her in the eyes. Tried to tell her what the gift meant to him.
She smiled shakily, and pressed against his back again, as the pain began to subside. He moved inside her carefully, his hips pumping in slow, short strokes. It was a testament to his control, when all he wanted to do in that moment was hammer himself inside her, taking greedily all she was giving him. Instead he worked her gently, fingers grazing her breasts, leaning on one elbow as he reached between them, touched her clit with his finger.
She flinched back, then forward, her hips thrusting up for more. His face pulled tight in a grimace of control, his lips taut over his teeth as he pushed a little more forcefully inside of her. She seemed to like it, pressing her hips experimentally against his, it was a little awkward, they didn’t catch the same rhythm right away, but it felt so damn good, he thought he might pass out on top of her.
Damned if he knew how hard he’d fallen for her until he’d gotten a taste, and knew it wasn’t a craving that would just slip away.
Suddenly her body tightened up, legs lifted, feet dragging along the backs of his calves as he thrust home repeatedly, her face became a painting of surprised delight, and then repression as she tried to fight the blinding wave of pleasure off, her eyes closing; temple turning into the couch cushion.
He began to grunt, not romantic, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never felt anything so good as being inside her, and looking down at her in that moment - the way her face glowed red with passion, he knew he wasn’t going to let her go. His thrusting became slightly wild when her mouth fell slack - and all he could see was the glistening saliva, it was all he could taste as he leaned forward captured her lips and pressed deeper inside of her, breaking the rhythm they had fallen into and causing them both to cry out.
He hit that spot inside her again, felt her clench - release, then let out a strangled gasp when she couldn’t hold back anymore. His breath fell from him when he came soon after, hands sliding beneath her shoulder, gripping them, pulling her harder against him as his buried his face in her hair, her name a groan tinting his lips.
Slowly, their hips stilled, the sweat on their body cooling in the open air. He found her shaking beneath him, thighs rippling from staying open so wide for so long. He carefully withdrew, wincing even as she did. He moved to a kneel slowly, backing away so she could close her legs. They fell together in relief and a wave of guilt fell over him.
What gave him the right to take something so pure? But he didn’t say it aloud, know she’d probably just hit him in the nose, ore worse - his vulnerable privates. She looked up at him with shuttered eyes, maybe afraid of what he would say. So he just rubbed a hand along her knee, massaging the tired muscle and her eyes sank closed as the tension eased out of her.
He continued to massage her, right down to her ankles then back up again, over her stomach. Until she fell asleep to it, that serene little smile he’d first seen in the garden - tugging her lips and staying there. Then he pulled away and stood on shaky legs, looking down at her as she slept.
Falling in love with the slight snore. Just plain falling in love, his heart breaking with the force of it. Not because of the sex, no sex was that good. But because of the sheer giving power of this small woman.
He’d kidnapped her, threatened her, and then wanted her. And even though she’d broken his nose and left his nuts sore in more ways than one, she’d still opened up so sweetly to him he hadn’t been able to pull his emotions back in, tie them down and just fuck her like he’d planned.
He slid his t-shirt out from beneath her and wet it with the tepid water of the sink. And as she’d cleaned the blood from his face, he cleaned it from her thighs. Hating the fact that he’d hurt her, and yet some part he was ashamed of, loving the fact that he’d been the only one who ever had.
She didn’t wake up, though her brow furrowed in her sleep, and when the blood had been cleaned away, he gently closed her legs again, and held his ruined shirt in his hands, bunched it up and stared at it. Guilty and yet terrifyingly proud.
* * *
“ Yes!” Cordelia slammed down the phone, her smile 100 watts bright, and Angel almost ducked out of the way, afraid of being burned to dust.
“ What is it?” He asked instead, as Wes and Gunn walked in the room, still not looking at each other.
“ They think they’ve found out where our old pal Lindsey has been staying. A bum saw him with a woman in an alley two days ago.”
A shudder worked its way up Wesley’s throat.
“ Is she… okay?”
“ Oh yeah.” Cordy beamed with pride. “ In fact, the street guy said she busted his nose. Then dragged him back inside. I have a feeling she’s busy playing doctor.”
“ She would have called us…” Angel argued. Cordy frowned.
“ Maybe. Who really cares? The fact is, we FOUND her. At this very minute police cars are being dispatched to that old, run-down factory.”
“ You’re right.” Angel’s face was still slightly off kilter though, as though foretelling. “ Of course, let’s just get there too, the sun’s setting, as long as I cover up in a blanket, I should be able to come.”
Cordelia nodded.
“ Well then pack your gear, I don’t want to be late for the show down, bucko.”
Turns out they weren’t. But it didn’t go quite as expected.
* * *
Lindsey was pulled from a half sleep as a woman pulled her silky legs out from beneath his. He muttered a profanity, reaching out to grip the wriggling figure, trying to pull her back into his arms. But she got away, adept and slippery with their combined sweat.
He peaked his eyes open, saw that the sun was low again, setting and that Fred was standing above him, bending and searching the floor for something. She found her bra panties and slid them on, pulling her skirt back down, then raced over to the door way sliding the sports bra over her head, pulling it down over bare breasts the size of small fruit that he’d spent plenty of time feasting on.
“ What are you doing?” He asked groggily, sitting up, still naked. She froze, then slowly bent - gripping her cotton t-shirt and pulling it over her head and stuffing her arms in it before turning to face him, static electricity making her hair stand out.
“ I’m going.” She told him, then turned looking for her socks. They were gone.
He sat up further, swinging his legs over the edge of the bent couch. Wide awake.
“ Going?” He didn’t like the sound of that. Not the way her fingers fumbled around each other, brushed against the wall behind her like she wanted nothing more than to scrawl something on it. “ What do you mean?”
She took a breath, appeared to gather courage before straightening her back and shoving her chin into the air.
“ I mean just what I said. You got your day, and I’m going.”
He shook his head, standing, unconcerned of his nudity even as it made her look away. His face crinkled in confusion. She’d seen him naked and been brazen about it only hours ago.
“ You also promised me a night.”
“ You took more than a nigh’.” She tossed out, before wincing at her own barb at the look on his face.
“ If I remember correctly,” he responded slowly, walking toward her. “ You weren’t exactly fighting me off.”
“ Don’t you think I get that?!” She was blushing, and he knew now that she blushed from head to toe. “ I had sex with the man that kidnapped me. How do you think that makes me feel?”
His jaw tightened, twitched.
“ So - what? You’re ashamed of it? Did it make your sick or something? Cause the way you were calling out my name, sounded like you enjoyed having sex with the guy that kidnapped ya.”
She almost slapped him, but his hand caught her wrist and he pulled her forward. His lips inches from hers, he whispered, “ What would you do if I told you I didn’t want to let you go?” Frustration filled her face, made her nostrils flare out and turn red.
“ I’d say you’d gotten’ more than your share from me and I won’t be a pawn any more.”
His fingers tightened on her arm, and she could tell he just wanted to grab on and shake her.
“ You think that’s what this was about?” His growled heatedly, a fever in his eyes. “ I wasn’t thinking about Angel when I was inside you. I didn’t give a shit about revenge!” His scowl turned wrathful. “ But what are your motivations Dr. Burkle, trying to save my soul?”
She flinched back as if he’d slapped her, and then pushed furiously on his hands, trying to get free..
“ I don’t care, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t.” But her face was blotchy, like she was about to cry and it hurt his right dead center of his chest. “ You got no say over me, and I don’t wanna be here any more. It’s too damn fast, last night was great, yeah, and it was also a lot of stupid things too. Like… oh god, what are they going to say?”
The sun had vanished, leaving the sky a dull gray. Neither noticed its absence
“ That’s what you’re worried about, ain’t it?” His lips thinned, and he rubbed his fingers gently over her elbows. “ You think you’ve betrayed them all.” She didn’t reply, didn’t even nod her head in affirmative, but she didn’t have to, because he was dead on and he knew it. “ Not to mention your scared as hell of what happened between us here. You know it wasn’t just fuckin’.”
Tenderly, he lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck. At first she didn’t do anything but lay limp against them, her thin body shaking, but then she squeezed her arms tightly around him, pressing close a sob breaking free from her throat. He felt the fear a man has when a woman started crying, but he pushed it back.
“ Fred, baby - it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay - no one’s gonna be mad at you. You just tell them what you need to tell them. But… don’t walk away yet. You promised me a night.”
The tears stopped suddenly, after they had soaked into his bare skin.
“ Could you get dressed?” She asked him. “ I’d like to go for a walk.”
“ Sure.” He grabbed his jeans from under the couch, smiling when he caught her looking before quickly avoiding his eyes when he found her out. “ You’ve seen it before.” He chided, slipping the jeans up over his hips and fastening them.
“ Yeah.” She said with a non-committal shrug and he curbed the disappointment. He had one night to make her fall for him as hard as he’d fallen for her. He had to make it good. Turns out he never got the chance.
The sound of police sirens screamed in the air, close by. The both froze, eyes locking together while time slowed, shifted, became liquid and something they could touch. He pulled her close and kissed her frantically, before she pushed him away, shoving him toward the door.
“ What are you doing?” He gasped, trying to grab a hold of her for the final time. But she wasn’t having any of it.
“ I’m getting’ you outta here before you get locked away for life.”
“ I thought you said I deserved that.” He said teasingly, though it was no time to joke. She just growled at him, tried to shove him back out the door, but he grabbed onto its frame and pushed back in, past her.
“ What are you doing?” She cried, half-hysterical. He didn’t answer, just grabbed the pistol he’d kept tucked away in his bag, and pulled out his keys as well. She looked freaked when he glanced back at her. “ A-are y-ou g..” But she couldn’t finish the sentence, eyes glued on the gun.
“ Of course not.” He said defensively, tucking it into his waist band. “ Just insurance. If you want me free, I’m gonna be free.”
“ Okay.” She conceded, grabbing onto his wrist. “ Just get the hell out of here.”
“ Sure thing doll, on my way.” They ran down the stairs, the metal making little sound beneath their bare feet. Both hearts pounded as the sirens got closer. “ My trucks this way.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her out a side entrance, to the parking lot. They were at the truck when a black and white screeched up in front of them, a man with green eyes jumping out of the driver’s side, his gun pointing at Lindsey over the hood.
“ Let the woman go!” The detective ordered, shouting. Slowly, Lindsey looked at Fred, giving her a sad smile before releasing his grip on her wrist, his fingers trailing across the pulse that beat a humming birds life time.
It was one of those moments in life, that everything became crystal clear. So clear, you could see for miles and miles into your future. The detective saw Lindsey’s hand raise, his watch glinting silver in the street light and anticipating a weapon, he fired his own. Fred screamed, tried to shove Lindsey back, move in front of him, but he just shook his head, pushing her away. The bullet ripped through his arm, sending him back against the truck, where blood exploded on the window. Behind the detective, Angel, Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn pulled up in the convertible, they’re eyes filled with horror.
Fred’s head swung around, glaring at the detective whose mouth opened and closed shouting at her to get out of the way, to get clear of Lindsey Mcdonald. That’s how he said it. Lindsey Mcdonald. But then, there was that clarity, the sound of Lindsey’s flesh impacting with the metal of the truck and sliding down - and suddenly she was jerking the pistol from his waist band and raising her arm to point it at the detective, whose eyes widened, the whites just visible in the night.
“ Fred!” Wesley yelled it, Cordy screamed it, Gunn stammered it, and Angel might have tried to say it. But she didn’t even look at any of them, didn’t register their voices, just kept the weapon trained as she never had before, right on a mans heart.
“ B-back off!” She stammered, finger trembling on the trigger.
“ What are you doing?” Lindsey whispered painfully beside her. “ Put the gun away, Fred, Jesus. There’s not even any bullets in it.”
“ I’m saving your ass.” She hissed, grabbing onto his unwounded arm, trying to drag him up, but couldn’t.
“ Put the gun down!” Detective Scott yelled, his own changing directions and pointing at her. For the first time in her life, she stared down a barrel of a gun.
“ No way!” She hollered back, thinking of the Alamo and Lindsey’s blood rolling down his naked skin. “ You first!”
“ Fred, do what he says!” Cordy said behind the detective, looking like a crimson goddess in red. Fear trembling on her lips. Fred only shook her head.
“ Do it or I’ll fire!” The detective said, causing Fred’s heart to double its pace, trip over itself and Cordy’s head to whip to the detective, eyes narrowing. Sighing, Cordy shook her head at Fred before raising her arm in the air, bringing it down hard against the detective’s neck. He went limp immediately, eyes rolling back in his head as he fell to the ground. The gun slid across the hood of the car, bumping against the spinning blue lights, before sliding off and falling to the cement where it discharged a single bullet, breaking the street lamp above them, sparks showering down.
Yes, this was a moment of clarity. Watching her friends look at her through the sparks, Cordy’s hand coming up, pressing a kiss against her fingers then waving it to her. Fred smiled slightly, eyes focusing on the dazed men behind Cordelia, who seemed too shocked to even move.
And then the groaning beside her made everything focus acutely on Lindsey. Her lips pursed. She turned, threw the unloaded weapon into the truck and grabbed him around the waist, dragging him up and leaning him heavily against the hood while she jerked open the passenger side, and shoved his semi-unconscious body inside, feeling a peculiar sense of Déjà vu. She smiled fondly, before racing around the other side, jerking open the driver’s side. It had been a long time since she’d drove a stick shift, but she jerked and ground the gears with freedom, even as Lindsey whispered hoarse instructions to her.
She honked the horn on the way out of the parking lot, and watched her friends getting further and further away in the rear-view mirror. Cordy lifted up Angel’s limp arm and made it wave good-bye. Fred almost laughed, almost cried, almost did a lot of things, but just kept driving, with Lindsey leaning back against the seat - head rolling from side to side with the bumps she tried desperately to avoid.
Fred stopped at a drug store out side of town, un-aware that Lindsey had stopped at that very one, just a week before. She scrounged his glove compartment, and came up with a credit card. She bought rubbing alcohol, anti-infectant, gauze and some tape. It was the best she could do at the moment, and when they hit the interstate, she pulled off to a rest stop. She cleaned and bandaged his wounds, avoiding his struggling hands as he hissed the entire way through it.
Then he passed out fully, head on her thigh as she drove straight into the night.
She tuned the fuzz of the radio, looking for a decent station, and ended up with country, which brought back blissful memories of child hood.
He woke up just before dawn - his eyes blinking at her in the gray light as he struggled to sit up. She helped him gently, aware of the burning sensation that must be attacking his entire side. His eyes were glued to her though, as the events of the prior night played circles of astonishment in his brain.
Staring at her wild face and hair, he wondered how he could have ever considered her plain. Hell, she was a little crazy wasn’t she?
His heart thumped hard. Once. Twice. And he fell in love. Hadn’t been before, he found, not even while making love to her. But it was now, slamming against his cheek like a brick wall as she maneuvered the big truck through stuffy lines of traffic, finding the right lanes that she could speed away on… that he knew what being in love was.
The grin all but split his face, the laughter - his gut. It made his arm throb all over again. She looked over at him curiously, a curl of hair catching on her lips. He reached over and tugged it from her mouth.
“ What?” She asked, when he just continued to look at her, with that stupid smile on his face. It wasn’t cocky, or sexy. In fact he looked down right creepy with that swollen nose, twinkling eyes and looney grin. But it was something she could relate to, so she didn’t mention it.
“ What you did?” She nodded, her fingers gripping the wheel harder. Worry in her eyes. As if he might not accept her. A car horn blared going by, and she realized that her speed had slowed to a crawl in her anticipation of his next words and she pressed the petal to the floor, jerking the truck to roaring speed. “ No one’s every done anything like that for me.” He shouted over the wind. “ Ever!”
She looked over at him, then shrugged.
“ I guess I lost it, kinda.”
“ I guess so.” But he was still smiling, leaning back against the seat and looking out the trucks wind shield. “ So where are we headed?” Fred blew out a breath in relief, he wasn’t gonna just toss her out. Maybe she had issues with abandonment. Something to work on, but not right then.
“ Mexico.” She said decisively. Nodding her head as if pointing a point on it. “ I think that’s really the only place we CAN go.”
Whistling under his breath, Lindsey settled back, and let her drive for a while. The whole damn way. It was almost nice to not be in total control.
* * *
So yeah, love was a roller coaster. And if you were lucky, you didn’t toss your cookies. If you were REALLY lucky, he didn’t toss his cookies ON you. And maybe, if you struck gold, the roller coaster would loopdey loop all over the place, and give you a run for your money.
Fred glanced up as Lindsey closed his cell phone, looking down at it strangely.
“ What?” She asked, when he came to stand beside her on the balcony.
“ Nothing really.” But his face shifted constantly, like he was confused. Below them, The Festival of the Dead went on and on, one song bleeding into another, dancers and party goers, those whose Religion was hardcore, and those who didn’t have one, moved together as a team.
“ Then why are you getting dopey face?” She asked him, tugging on his ear lobe. He glared at her.
“ I DO NOT get dopey face.” She just looked at him, until he threw up his hands. “ Fine! I was talking to Angel - he tracked this number down, apparently to give us his blessing.” He wrinkled up his nose, scowling down at the crowd. “ It just doesn’t sit right.”
“ Oh don’t worry about it.” Fred laughed softly. “ I’m bettin’ it was Cordelia who was the one giving the blessin’ - she just made Angel say it, is all.”
The smile returned.
“ Ya think?”
“ I know.” Lindsey nodded in satisfaction, sliding an arm around her waist.
“ So you wanna go down and let me get you drunk?”
“ Why not?” She gripped his fingers in her own, and together they walked down the stairs into the chaos of music and debauchery below. “ By the way, I just came up with this theory, want to hear it?”
“ Maybe. Give me the basics.”
“ Well it’s all about roller coasters, ropes, and an unloaded shot gun..”
“ Oh - does this mean I get to be the one tied to a chair this time?”
THE END
A/N: Okay, so that was my first every Lindsey/Fred fic, and I don’t have any more plot ideas at the moment, so I’m not sure if there will be more from me about his couple in the future, but I really enjoyed it, so I’ll try to dig up some inspiration. |
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