Children usually discover biting, by chance, around 1 year of age when chewing and mouthing are normal teething behavior. At this stage, parents think it's cute. Around age 2 to 3, children may bite when they feel frustrated or want something from another child. Biting is a primitive form of communication. After age two or so, biting may become a deliberate way to express anger or intimidate others. Biting can result in a puncture or cut. It is a serious misbehavior which calls for your close attention. If your child bites, give him/her a 2 minute time-out for biting others. Take steps to reduce biting incidents. Teach your child words and help him/her talk about his/her anger. "You are mad. Tell Mandy to stop!" Watch your child closely whenever she is around other children or in situations where s/he is likely to bite.
Always treat biting as a serious matter. Interrupt biting with a sharp, "No." Be sure to use an unfriendly voice and look your child straight in the eye. Never laugh when your child bites, and don't treat it like a game (love bites). Make sure older siblings follow your lead. NEVER BITE BACK. This may teach your child that biting is okay if you are bigger. Don't use punitive punishment like using soap to wash out your child's mouth, pinching his/her cheek, or slapping. Praise good behavior and your child's efforts to use words to get what s/he wants.
* Give safe alternative behavior such as giving a toy or teething ring to bite.
* Help the child learn and use words to get what they need.
* Never bite back. The child may learn its okay as long as you're bigger.
* Biting is a serious issue, no matter the reason. Be firm in your response. Biting hurts.
* Watch for signs that your child might bite. Get involved and help your child meet her needs.
* Praise your child for not biting.
Work and Family Resource Center grants persmission to reproduce this tip sheet for non-commercial use. Copyright 1996 Work and Family Resource Center. All rights reserved.
*Submitted by Lisa in VA
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Toddler Biting At Daycare
Patti Greenberg Wollman
Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.
Here is one course of action that I have found effective with children under three. One teacher is assigned to "shadow" the biter. If one teacher is with that child constantly, it is very often possible to restrain the biter when you see him/her getting ready to bite. Then you repeat the rule -"We do not bite. We use words." (If the child has no words, you can say them yourself. "I know you're angry because you can't use that toy right now, right? But you cannot bite for ANY reason.") Then you can remove the child from the situation if it is warranted. Sometimes, if you've stopped the bite before it's occurred, the child can continue to play.
Now, this works only if the child is watched CONSTANTLY, which is a very difficult task. It's best to have teachers take turns being the shadow. If you have the luxury of enough teachers, however, this is an effective method of helping a biter to stop biting and start talking.
*Submitted by Christi
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