Violent incidents occasionally occur in schools despite the best prevention efforts. Parents can strengthen these efforts by taking an active role in violence prevention. One way that families and schools, working together, can head off violence is by persuading children to report threats and dangerous behavior by their peers.

It's not tattling. Children hate to think of themselves as tattletales. You have to teach them there's a big difference between tattling and reporting. When a child alerts an adult to something that could be dangerous, or destructive, that's not tattling, that's responsible reporting.

Tell any adult. Sometimes a child is reluctant to approach a teacher, principal or parent about a possibly dangerous situation. Let your children know that it is okay to go to any adult they feel comfortable with - a cafeteria worker, a friends parent, the custodian, or a neighbor. The important thing is to let a responsible adult know what's going on.

Write it down. Children often feel uncomfortable talking with an adult about things like threats they've overheard. Make sure they understand that it's OK to write a note instead, and that they don't even have to sign it (although it would be much better if they did).

It's no joke. Teach your children that it's not funny to joke about setting off a bomb in school, making a 'hit list', or killing someone. Carefully explain the seriousness of any such threats they may overhear.

Talk to them. Encourage your children to talk with you about their school and activities. Show them you care about what they're doing and their safety, and listen carefully when they talk about their feelings or concerns. Children are more likely to 'open up' with a parent who has proven that he or she is a good listener. Listen to their friends, too.

Be a snoop. Don't be embarrassed to listen to your children's telephone calls with their friends, or even check their email (which is usually readily accessible). By tapping into their 'grapevine' you may come up with fresh information about possible danger.

Online threats. Many children are far freer with their thoughts online, in email, or chat rooms, than they are face-to-face. Let your children know that they should take threats or warnings seriously, whether they overhear them at school, or read them on a computer screen.

Call for help. There have been cases where a child has warned an adult about a threat, only to have the adult not follow up on it- with tragic results. If your child has reason to be concerned about potential violence, you should either contact the school principal or the police.

Don't 'diss'. Often, students who carry out violent acts do so in reaction to taunting by their classmates. Teach your children to respect their peers, and that 'dissing' other children is never acceptable- and could be dangerous.

Report bullies. Most schools have programs to help children who feel they are being harassed by their peers. If you hear that your child, or other children are being victimized by a bully or bullies, go to the school for help.

Inform the principal. Let your children know that an important part of the principals job is to keep them safe. To do this, the principal needs to know immediately if anyone is threatening to do something dangerous.

Talk about tragedies. School shootings elicit a lot of media coverage. Use these incidents as opportunities to discuss school violence with your children. Assure them that schools are safe environments, but stress the importance of keeping their schools safe by reporting any dangerous, disturbing, or destructive behavior or threats they hear or observe.

From: The Nat'l Assoc. of Elementary School Principals